Been Reed - Life and Theology. The musings of a young pastor.

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The words of a father

I’m a father. I have a 2 year old son that I love dearly.

And I’m often thinking about the future for him, and how I can raise him so that he becomes a great man who loves God, loves his family, and ministers the Gospel well.

I love that I get to be around him so much, and get to play a huge role in his life. I don’t take that for granted at all. I mean, we eat dinner as a family every night of the week…how awesome is that?!?

But when I read THIS STORY, I was immediately convicted, and began thinking about what I would do if I were to die young.

What am I doing to pave the way for the future growth of my family?

What if I die in the next couple of years…is my family prepared for something like that?

Have I invested my time in the things that matter most?

Check this video out. And think through your own life and family, the way you spend your time, and the preparation you’ve done for the future.

(HT: @BenArment)

You probably wouldn’t like my small group

February 28, 2011 / Ben Reed / 10 Comments

If you’re looking for a small group, you probably wouldn’t like mine.

Why you won’t like my small group

Nobody’s perfect. Our group is rather messy…in fact, much messier than I ever thought it would be. If your life is clean and put together, and messiness frustrates you, you’ll hate our group.
We celebrate small steps, not just the ‘huge’ ones. And small steps may seem insignificant to you, so if you’re not willing to get excited over a step towards Jesus (no matter how seemingly insignificant), you’ll not feel at home with us.
There’s no teacher. Just a facilitator. And the facilitator doesn’t have all of the answers, so if it’s merely answers you’re looking for, mosey on.
We talk about challenging stuff. And I don’t mean that we debate obscure theological dogma. I mean that we work to apply the Scriptures to our lives. If you love a great, obscure theological debate, you may not enjoy our group.
We expect full participation. Nobody in our group is lazy. In one way or another, every member participates, and is vital to the success of the group as a whole. If you want to be a lazy sponge, don’t join us.
We know each other’s stories. No hiding in our group. Our group kicked off its first month by encouraging everybody in the group to share their faith story. Comfortable? Nope. This group’s not for you.
We’re transparent. Mere platitudes aren’t acceptable. If all of your answers start with, “Someone once said…” instead of, “I am dealing with…” then you’ll never be comfortable in our small group.
We’re diverse. If you’re looking for people that are just like you, who look, smell, act, read the same books, live on the same side of town, have the same number of kids…keep moving. You’re not going to find that here.
Our group is going to end soon, and I’m going to ask each group member to take a step of faith and lead a new group…each one of them. No moss will be gathering with us. If you like moss, find another group.
We serve together. Don’t want to serve? That’s fine. Just don’t get frustrated with us when we ask you to join us in making a difference in our community.
We have fun. Every week. We laugh so hard that we snort. We play games, share stories, and study the Bible…all while having fun. I wrote more extensively about the importance of having fun in small groups HERE. If you don’t like having fun, you’re an old codger. And old codgers don’t last long in our group.

Based on the reasons above, would you want to join my small group?

Content is King

February 28, 2011 / Ben Reed / 9 Comments

Design is crucial. I just wrote about that HERE.

But when it comes to blogging, content is still king.

I have helped a number of people out with their blogs. Making tweaks. Customizing them. Telling them the “secrets” I used to create my blog.

And I’m okay with that.

In the design world, design is sacred. If you design something, you reserve the right to that property…and people pay big bucks for your expertise and creativity. You don’t just give that design away.*

But in my world, I give it away. Partly because I’m not a designer. Partly because I believe that social media is built for generosity. And mainly because, though design is incredibly important and attractive, it’s not king. Content is.

Design may be flashy, but it’s the content that’s driving this blog, not the design. Design is an important aspect, but it’s not the one that keeps me writing.

Design is important, but it’s not why somebody would come back to your site. It’ll only get you (and your readers) so far. I’ve seen some incredibly well-designed blogs…filled with fluff. I don’t go back. I’ve seen some no-design blogs, with lots of great, fresh content. I return often.

People may initially click your site because it looks cool. But they’ll choose whether or not to come back because of the content you produce.

Which is why I firmly believe that the number of subscribers (those who buy in to what you have to say, and return regularly) you have to your blog is more important than the number of blind hits you have.

Are you producing high quality content?

Are your subscriber counts reflecting that?

Do you find yourself working more on your blog design than your content?

Can the same be said of your church?

*let it be known: 1) I’m not a designer. 2) I have no problem with designers charging for their services.

Procrastination

February 24, 2011 / Ben Reed / 2 Comments

Why is it easier to clean when you have a big project you should be working on?

Why is it easier to do stuff rather than create art?

Because it’s easier to procrastinate than create. It’s easier to watch TV than write a novel. It’s easier to listen to the enemy and do nothing than it is to forge a new path.

Steven Pressfield calls this the war of art.

And below, though it’s a slick video, is a great example of someone who, I would surmise, set out to organize their books. When that became difficult/not so much fun, they decided to make this video.

What project do you need to press through and finish?

What’s stopping you?

Evangelism #Fail

February 24, 2011 / Ben Reed / 13 Comments

The way I was brought up to share my faith doesn’t work.

I was told that, in order to rightly share your faith, all you needed to do was walk someone down the “Romans Road.” Ever heard of it?

The progression goes from Romans 3:23 to 6:23 to 5:8 to 10:13, and finally to 10:9-10.

I’m so thankful the book of Romans was written so that we would have a “road” to walk. Aren’t you? (*insert sarcastic smile*)

I mean, the road is “right” theologically. It’s an airtight, albeit brief, presentation of the Gospel. Methodologically, though, it is based on a superficial understanding of the Gospel, that the Gospel is really just about having the right knowledge. And that if you can clearly and succinctly communicate those points to a nonbeliever (without looking at your notes…because apparently nonbelievers hate notes. Unless, of course, you’re sharing the Truth via the EvangeCube, which gives you a slick prop to use), you’ve done your job. Check that off your spiritual to-do list for the day.

Frankly, I don’t think that could be further from the Truth.

We are often looking for a simplified, step-by-step plan to sharing our faith. But utilizing a plan that encourages you to parrot the “right” answer to random passersby doesn’t give you much hope of a positive response.

I think that you spell evangelism r-e-l-a-t-i-o-n-s-h-i-p-s.

To rip the relational side of evangelism out of sharing your faith makes the Truth that you share hollow and empty.

But to build your evangelism on the foundation of relationships that you’re forming with your family, friends, coworkers, barista, small group member, mechanic, waitress, barber, tour guide, workout buddy, and neighbor…that’s where evangelism moves from mere cold, hollow words to a message of hope. From a message of judgment and condemnation to a pronouncement of freedom. From shallow platitudes to The Good News.

If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. – 1 Corinthians 13:2

Have you ever led someone to Christ?

Was a relationship involved?

Don’t get shot-blocked

February 23, 2011 / Ben Reed / 4 Comments

Don’t let “I’m not sure how” shot-block you.

Figure out how to get it done. Read. Study. Listen. Interview people who are already knocking it out of the park.

Imitate a hero.

Or innovate, create, and forge a new path.

But if you know what you’re supposed to do, don’t let “I’m not sure how” get in your way. There’s a way to get that thing done.

Raise the money. Recruit the volunteers. Cast the vision until you’re blue in the face.

But don’t get shot-blocked. “I’m not sure how” is a lame excuse.

Good ideas need your brilliance

February 22, 2011 / Ben Reed / 11 Comments

Have you seen Toy Story?

Did you know that they have authentic replicas of the movie characters that are built to scale…looking exactly like that you saw on the movie, even down the smallest detail? They’re a replica of the exact size of the characters you saw on the movie!

But with no imagination, they’re just a plain, lifeless doll.

With the imagination of a child, they become Woody…or Buzz Lightyear…or Jessie.

Good ideas

And the same is true with good ideas. We go to conferences, read books, interact with broad audiences, dialog on social media, and get tons of ideas. But until we put life to them, until we contextualize them, until we bring them into our systems, they’re lifeless.

A great idea looks cool…especially marketed in a slick package. But it’s a different game altogether once you get it out of that package. Because it takes your creativity, your insight, and your wisdom to put that idea into action.

That’s why copying another ministry doesn’t work. Because it takes your effort to change, tweak, and contextualize the idea to make it function in your ministry. If you try copying someone else, even though it may have sounded awesome when you heard it the first time, all you’ve really got is a dead, lifeless child’s toy that’ll sit on your desk.

But with your brilliance, the idea can come to life.

Where do you get your good ideas? Books? Conferences? Conversations?

When was the last time you put one of those ideas to life?

Pee Pee and steps of faith

February 21, 2011 / Ben Reed / 6 Comments

(Rex on his 4-wheeler, 2-20-2011)

On Sunday, my son ran up and down the halls of our church building (a high school, in fact) yelling, “Pee pee!! Pee pee!!”

Obviously, we’re in the middle (well, that’s probably a stretch. We’re probably closer to the beginning of this stage) of potty training.

I could’ve gotten frustrated. Embarrassed. Angry. Or indifferent. But I was none of that.

I chose to laugh. Why?

Because it’s funny! My 2 year old son is telling the whole world that he just peed in the toilet, not his pants.

Was it embarrassing? Yep.

Was it frustrating, especially because he also peed in his diaper? Yep.

But in that moment, I chose not to focus on the growth that still needed to happen. I chose to celebrate with my son.

And we’d do well to remind ourselves that our Father rejoices over even a small step of faith. Good fathers don’t punish their children when they pee in their diaper, even though they’re learning not to. I don’t scold my son, even though I’ve told him countless times that he’s supposed to pee in the toilet.

Because I have the future in mind. I know that, at some point, the battle with this will be over. We’ll work through this. This is just a step in his journey towards maturity. He’ll mature out of this, and in the meantime, I’m going to celebrate small steps in the right direction.

And I can’t help but think that God has the future in mind with us, too. He has the bigger picture of our growth and maturity in mind at all times. And yes, at times, we need discipline. But He celebrates small steps in the right direction because He can see what we cannot. And while we’re sitting in our own guilt and shame, God’s seeing the future, and is ready to offer us grace if we’ll just step towards Him.

But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found. (Luke 15:32)

Do you need to remind yourself that a step in the right direction is worth celebrating?

Do you need to remind someone else of that?

What do pastors have to have?

February 18, 2011 / Ben Reed / 18 Comments

(image by Natilee Dee)

As a way of validating their profession:

Hair dressers have to have edgy hair
Mechanics have to have a project car
Farmers have to have Carhartts
Teachers have to have an ugly sweater
Used car salesmen have to have a mustache and too much cologne (just chuckle and move on…don’t be offended)
Coffee baristas have to have a conspicuous piercing, tattoo, or both
Hipsters have to have strange facial hair and an article of clothing that makes them look really old
Musicians have to have a black t-shirt and skinny jeans
Real musicians have to have a ‘favorite band’ that nobody has ever heard of

I’m a young pastor, and I’m trying to figure out what it is that we’re “supposed to have.”

What do you think?

Fill in the blank: If I see a guy with ___________, I know he’s a pastor.

Why I un-linked Twitter and Facebook

February 17, 2011 / Ben Reed / 28 Comments

I’ve been on Twitter now for nearly 3 years. On day 2, I linked them.

So what I said on Twitter, I also said on Facebook. Why would I not do that…it’s a no-brainer, right?

Killing two birds with one stone. With one text message, blasting the exact same message on Twitter and Facebook…it seemed that this was a great idea!

But over time, I’ve realized that it wasn’t. It actually could have damaged my brand if I’d kept them connected much longer.

“Oh…who cares about my ‘brand’?” you ask.

“Everybody that follows you on Twitter and Facebook do.” If they don’t care about your brand (who you are as a person/organization as represented online), they’ll quit following you. It’s as simple as that.

Here’s why I un-linked Twitter and Facebook

People on Facebook get angry. Especially when you post all of the time. They’ll block you…then start dropping passive/aggressive things like this in a conversation they have with you in person, “Can you believe how often some people post to Facebook?!?” My response: “Yeah…it’s hard to believe…” And inside I’m thinking, “If you only knew how much I decided not to post…”
People on Twitter (largely) don’t mind how often you post. There’s an over-the-top level where you can wear people out, but I don’t think I’ve reached that level yet.
People on Facebook don’t understand Twitter lingo. The whole RT, @replies, and #hashtags don’t translate well into Facebook.
Facebook became more personal. For me, it seemed to be more about sharing pictures, stuff that’s happening in my family, and things going on locally here in Clarksville. I’ve seen more and more trivial things posted on Facebook. That’s not a slam…just an observation.
Twitter became more business/sharing-focused. For me, I began seeing Twitter as a way to share thoughts, ideas, resources, and other sites and articles.

At the end of the day, Twitter is more about sharing and giving. Facebook is more about connecting people to my personal life. And, from time to time, those mesh. But most of the time, I’ll keep my thoughts separate.

What about you…have you connected Twitter and Facebook?

Or decided to un-connect them?