The discussion started HERE with a look at the starting point of a small group, and the effect that has on introverts and extroverts. The discussion then shifted HERE to the middle-point of small group life.
**Now we’ll look at the ending season of a small group (which may last anywhere from 1 month to several). This is a sweet, sweet season in the life of a small group. By now, the group really knows each other. You understand how each person is gifted. You know where they struggle and how to encourage them effectively. You know their children, and the struggles and victories they’ve had at home. You’ve seen God change cold hearts. You’ve served alongside these people, cried with them, laughed with them, and heard them speak truth directly to your heart.
Though the above sounds like it’s all rosy, don’t think there aren’t still challenges to face.
The end of a small group
Extroverts may find this phase of small group life increasingly difficult. They’re ready for the group to end so they can get out there and meet a new group of people. They’ve done all they can, and assume God’s done all he’s going to do. Since the only thing left is the finish line, they’re ready for it. It’s like how the last hour of a car ride seems much longer than the first 10. For an extrovert, the end can’t come fast enough. And though extroverts get their energy from being around people, they can still find themselves bored since they’ve been around the same people for so long.
A word of caution to the extroverts: Just because you feel God’s done all he’s going to do in your heart doesn’t mean that he’s done. There’s still refining to do. There’s still change that needs to happen. And if you give up on the group now, even though you may feel bored, you may miss out on the best God has to offer you through your small group.
Introverts can really start to find their groove during this time. If they’ve pushed through the awkward phase of the beginning (where they didn’t know many people), pushed themselves to forge new relationships throughout the middle season, now they find that they’re surrounded by people whom they know and are known by. There’s a great trust that’s developed, and a sweet season of close relationships is where they find themselves. In fact, they feel so comfortable that they may be resistant to forming new relationships with others. Forming these was tough…they may not be up to the challenge of building new bonds with others.
* A word of caution to the introverts: Don’t let your current feeling of “success” drive you away from forming new relationships with others. Your feelings of comfort and safety are good, but shouldn’t paralyze you from taking steps of faith, and courageously reaching out to those you don’t know. They need to hear your story, and see God’s hand of redemption in your life. This season of group life may be the easiest for you, but don’t let it lull you to sleep, and cause you to forget that steps of faith involve risk.
I’ve got a few more thoughts to share. But I’ll save them until the next post. Until then:
Have these dynamics played out in your small group? In your own heart?
Do you think small groups are easier for an introvert or an extrovert?
**This is based on the assumption that your small group has an end-date in mind. In some small group systems, groups are together for life. In the system that I lead at Grace Community Church, our groups last 12-18 months.
