…you can walk into church without anybody knowing you

…you leave church without anybody knowing you

…you’ve backslidden

…you want to grow in your faith

…you want to help others grow in their faith

…you need a place to serve

…you need a place to grow

…you need a place to belong

…you’re curious about God

…you don’t even know where to start

…you are a new believer

…you are a mature believer

…you are divorced

…you have children

…you cannot have children

…you “have it together”

…everybody else knows you don’t “have it together”

…you have a great family

…your family is rotten

…you don’t have any family

…you have lots of friends, but none that share your values

…you don’t have any friends who encourage you

…you don’t have any friends who hold you accountable

…you don’t have any friends, period

…life has fallen apart

…you know life will soon fall apart

…you have lots of free time

…you don’t have any free time

…you don’t have parenthood figured out yet

…you don’t have marriage figured out yet

…you don’t have singleness figured out yet

…life is tough right now

…you find that living the Christian life is difficult

…you erroneously think living the Christian life is easy

…you can never seem to think of things to pray for

…you have a house (or apartment) that can seat more than 2 people

…your story is still in progress

What would you add to this list?

Laura and I celebrated our 5 year anniversary together this weekend.  Wow, how time flies!  Here are some things we’ve done that I would consider significant, in random order:

1. Moved five times.

2. Finished graduate school.

3. Bought a car and a truck.

4. Bought a house.

5. Bought a dog.

6. Had a child.

7. Led a small group

8. Learned how to love each other.

9. Laughed together.

10. Cried together.

11. Dreamed about ministry together.

12. Went on a lot of dates.

13. Invested in other couples.

14. Found couples that would invest in us.

15. Cleaned house together.

16. Worked hard to find the best, most unique gifts for each other, instead of only doing that for others.

17. Fell asleep on the couch together

18. Worshiped together.

19. Read Scripture together. (which leads back to #18)

20. Grow a garden together.

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What have you done in five years?

I recently posted this to Twitter:

“What activity/hobby have you taken up that helps you & your spouse spend MORE time together? If you don’t have one, why not?”

There are lots of hobbies/activities that I enjoy.  I like to run, bike, play golf, read, blog, and watch 24.  I highlight those things because I do all of those without my wife.  Either they’re solo activities or she hates them (well, lets just be fair…she hates 24…she says it’s like a bad male soap opera…I don’t deny it, but still love to watch!).

In and of themselves, these activities aren’t wrong.  In fact, most of them are pretty healthy…running and biking are good for my physical body, while reading and blogging are good for my mind.  I’m not indulging in activities that are harmul for me or for my family, so why would I ever need to be careful in doing them?

Even “good” things can become a hindrance to my relationship with my wife.

I am not ready to give up these hobbies.  My wife isn’t asking me to, and, like I said, I enjoy them.  In fact, it’s healthy for couples to be able to operate independently of each other at times.  But most couples have the independent part of their lives covered pretty well.  What they need to work on is bringing their lives together more.

I’ve recently taken up gardening.  Though that may sound a bit girly, it’s really hard work.  My wife and I constructed four raised bed gardens and a shade garden for our back yard.  We’re really proud of the work!  Maybe more importantly, though, we were able to work together to get it completed.  We’ve found something to do together that we both enjoy.

Husbands, how can you reach out to your wife and develop a love of something that she enjoys doing?

Wives, how can you stretch yourself to do something that you know your husband loves?

Do you want your spouse to love you even more?  Try loving something that they love.