Young leaders often feel behind the curve.

Every meeting they attend, every team they lead, every trip they plan…they’re the youngest and least experienced. And, in my case, I’ve been in the room where everybody present had children older than me.

I can’t tell you how many looks I was flashed that said, “How cute…he’s trying to lead us…isn’t that neat?!?” As a leader, that’s frustrating.

When I started in my current role, I was the youngest on staff.

When I started in my current role, I was the younger than every one of the small group leaders at Grace.

But over time, I’ve been able to grow some level of influence. And here’s one principle I’ve learned:

Be faithful in the little things.

If I was given a task, even if it didn’t directly relate to my area of leadership, I worked to make sure I completed the task well. Not just half-heartedly, but with excellence.

If I took on a new responsibility, I made sure that I was 100% faithful, to the best of my abilities and even more so, to exceed expectations.

And this principle is biblical:

One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much… – Luke 16:10

It’s the little things, the smaller responsibilities, that are the greatest test of character, not the bigger ones. Letting the ball drop on the “little things” is a symptom of a heart that’s not ready for bigger, weightier things.

If you’re given smaller, less significant assignments and you fail to meet and exceed expectations, why would those who are in leadership over you trust you to meet and exceed expectations in more significant roles?

The insignificant tasks you take on early in leadership may be just that…insignificant. Except for one thing: they show your character. And if you want to gain influence, character (even more than age and experience) is key.

A certain level of trust must be granted to you because you’re young. But a deeper, more substantial level of trust, the one you’re looking for, is earned.

Trust is earned one faithful step at a time.

Be faithful in the small steps. It’ll pay off in time.

Have you ever dropped the ball on a small responsibility?

Did you see that affect your influence?

*Image credit Creation Swap user Drew Palko

 

I’m taking a break from my blog between Christmas and New Year’s. I’m re-posting a couple of your favorites (based on clicks) and a couple of my own favorite posts from 2011. I hope you enjoy! I’ll be interacting in the comments section, so if you comment, I’ll respond. Merry Christmas and a happy New Year!

If you’re looking for a small group, you probably wouldn’t like mine.

Why you won’t like my small group

• Nobody’s perfect. Our group is rather messy…in fact, much messier than I ever thought it would be. If your life is clean and put together, and messiness frustrates you, you’ll hate our group.
• We celebrate small steps, not just the ‘huge’ ones. And small steps may seem insignificant to you, so if you’re not willing to get excited over a step towards Jesus (no matter how seemingly insignificant), you’ll not feel at home with us.
• There’s no teacher. Just a facilitator. And the facilitator doesn’t have all of the answers, so if it’s merely answers you’re looking for, mosey on.
• We talk about challenging stuff. And I don’t mean that we debate obscure theological dogma. I mean that we work to apply the Scriptures to our lives. If you love a great, obscure theological debate, you may not enjoy our group.
• We expect full participation. Nobody in our group is lazy. In one way or another, every member participates, and is vital to the success of the group as a whole. If you want to be a lazy sponge, don’t join us.
• We know each other’s stories. No hiding in our group. Our group kicked off its first month by encouraging everybody in the group to share their faith story. Comfortable? Nope. This group’s not for you.
• We’re transparent. Mere platitudes aren’t acceptable. If all of your answers start with, “Someone once said…” instead of, “I am dealing with…” then you’ll never be comfortable in our small group.
• We’re diverse. If you’re looking for people that are just like you, who look, smell, act, read the same books, live on the same side of town, have the same number of kids…keep moving. You’re not going to find that here.
• Our group is going to end soon, and I’m going to ask each group member to take a step of faith and lead a new group…each one of them. No moss will be gathering with us. If you like moss, find another group.
• We serve together. Don’t want to serve? That’s fine. Just don’t get frustrated with us when we ask you to join us in making a difference in our community.
• We have fun. Every week. We laugh so hard that we snort. We play games, share stories, and study the Bible…all while having fun. I wrote more extensively about the importance of having fun in small groups HERE. If you don’t like having fun, you’re an old codger. And old codgers don’t last long in our group.

* image credit: iStockPhoto user Digital Skillet

 

I’m taking a break from my blog between Christmas and New Year’s. I’m re-posting a couple of your favorites (based on clicks) and a couple of my own favorite posts from 2011. I hope you enjoy! I’ll be interacting in the comments section, so if you comment, I’ll respond. Merry Christmas and a happy New Year!

image via iStock photo user Anthia Cumming

Dear local church,

You do weird things. And please don’t tell me you have no idea what I’m talking about.

• You eat tiny crackers and drink tiny glasses of grape juice.
• You sing. Loudly and passionately. And it’s 8:30 on a Sunday morning. Seriously, who sings, out loud, where others can hear them before 9:00?
• You ask people to come down front. Nobody at my son’s baseball game has ever asked me to make a big life decision right in front of the whole stadium.
• You tell me I need to go somewhere else, into someone else’s home, to really connect.
• You pass a bucket for me to put money in. Do I have to pay to worship here?
• You lay hands on people to pray for them. Never seen that one done in a helpful way in a PTA meeting. Never.
• You preach from the Bible, and keep referring to it as an authority in your life, but I don’t see it like that. It’s a bit strange that you would put such weight into such an old document.

I’m not saying that these things are wrong. They’re just weird to me. I need you to help me understand why I need to do them. Why they’re important. Why you do them every week. Why I need to join in. Why I feel like such an outsider when I’m there.

I don’t want to be an outsider. Nobody does. I’d like to feel like I’m a part of you guys…but I need you to be patient. Walk me through understanding and doing. It took you lots of years to get where you are…help me get there. But don’t assume that, after 2 weeks, I’m going to “get” it.

Because when you don’t help me understand, you push me away…and it seems you don’t care that I come back.

Signed,

-Church visitors

* image via iStock photo user Anthia Cumming 

 

I’m taking a break from my blog between Christmas and New Year’s. I’m re-posting a couple of your favorites (based on clicks) and a couple of my own favorite posts from 2011. I hope you enjoy! I’ll be interacting in the comments section, so if you comment, I’ll respond. Merry Christmas and a happy New Year!

image credit: Creation Swap User Krist Adams

Have you ever been praying, and start to think of what you have to do for the day?

Suddenly, things pop into your mind out of nowhere that take you off to another place.

I’ve been told that those things are a distraction. That I just need to concentrate harder and seek God more, and that when my mind wanders, I need to have more discipline to stop thinking about ______, or ______. I’ve been told that my wandering mind is a sign of weakness.

I’m beginning to wonder if it’s not so much a sign of weakness, but a sign of

• what I’m valuing at the moment. This is both a heart-check (what’s really important to me?) and a “Wow, I’ve really been thinking about that a lot…maybe I should pray about it.” Our mouths speak (or, in this instance, “our minds think”) what our hearts are full of. (Luke 6:45)
• God helping me remember things that I need to do. Is it not God that is the creator of the mind? Does He not know all things, including what we need to be in the business of doing? Does He not hold all things together? (Colossians 1:17) We are commanded to ask God for wisdom…don’t be shocked when He gives it. (James 1:5)
• God reminding me people and situations I need to pray for. Ever have someone or something, seemingly random, pop into your head when you’re praying? I do. And I’m not so sure that’s a bad thing.

I know that prayer is not all about me and my situation and my relationships and my life…I realize that connecting with God through prayer is essential for simply building my relationship with my Creator.

But I’m going to be easier on myself when my mind starts to wander. I’m taking every thought captive. (2 Corinthians 10:5)

Do you think that God speaks in this way?

Does your mind wander when you pray?

* image credit: Creation Swap user Krist Adams

 

I’m taking a break from my blog between Christmas and New Year’s. I’m re-posting a couple of your favorites (based on clicks) and a couple of my own favorite posts from 2011. I hope you enjoy! I’ll be interacting in the comments section, so if you comment, I’ll respond. Merry Christmas and a happy New Year!

The most dangerous word for your spiritual growth is “tomorrow.”

image credit: Creation Swap User Jeff Borriss

I’ll share my faith with my friend…tomorrow.

I’ll start praying more regularly…tomorrow.

I’ll start reading my Bible…tomorrow.

I know God want me to _____, so I will…tomorrow.

I’ll start treating my wife with respect…tomorrow.

I’ll become a better parent…starting tomorrow.

I’ll quit doing ______…tomorrow.

I’ll choose to forgive…tomorrow.

I’ll choose joy, not anger…tomorrow.

I’ll choose to serve…tomorrow.

I’ll take charge of my spiritual growth…tomorrow.

Stop. Saying. Tomorrow.

Today is the day.

Look here, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we are going to a certain town and will stay there a year. We will do business there and make a profit.” How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone. – James 4:13-14

*image credit: Creation Swap User Jeff Borriss

 

Our small groups at Grace Community Church recently transitioned their discussion/study time from a curriculum to being based on, and driven by, the Sunday morning sermon.

I recently had the chance to sit down with my good friends, Brett Eastman and Steve Gladen, and talk through how we go about producing our curriculum every week, and a couple of reasons why we made the switch. Brett and Steve produce The Small Group Show, a series of videos designed to resource and encourage small groups pastors and leaders.

Here’s the interview I did with them.

Question:

Are you a part of a sermon-driven small group, or a curriculum-driven one?

 

image credit Creation Swap User Vicky Smit

There are some books that are so over the top that they break me.

For instance, I love Stuart Scott. He was one of my favorite professors in seminary. And his book is one of the most Scripturally sound books on the role of a man in the home. But at the end of the day, the book is so difficult to put into practice that I’m almost left just throwing up my hands saying, “If that’s what I’m called to do, it’s just too tough!”

Likewise, when I read others’ posts about blogging, it breaks me. They say things like:

“On the days you don’t feel like writing, just write.”

OR

“On the days when you’re busy with other things, just write.”

Sometimes I wonder how these guys do it.

‘Hustle!’ they espouse.

‘Umm…I thought I was…’

‘Get up early to write…’ My 3 year old is up between 5:30 and 6:00. Every morning.

‘Stay up late…’ I have a 3 year old that gets up early. See above.

‘Work hard…’ I am. I have a family at home, a full-time job, and just opened a new store.

This line of thinking is so black-and-white, so difficult that it could break me if I let it. But the lure of it is the challenge, the chase, the adrenaline, and the product that ships.

At this point, I think I need a pass. A throw-in-the-towel, wave-the-white-flag pass for a moment. And I can only guess that if I need one, there are a handful of you out there that need one, too. Whether that’s a pass from your “slacking” on blogging, Facebook, Twitter, or any various other personal/public endeavors you’re chasing. I’m going to publicly give myself a pass. And I’m going to give you the same.

I get a pass

It’s been a busy month. My wife and I, with my and sister-in-law have opened a new store in downtown Clarksville. Our small groups team is in heavy recruiting mode for January. We’re also in heavy planning mode for a new system of leadership development we’ll be rolling out next year.

I have a 3 year old son who vies for my every moment when I’m at home. And 1 Timothy 3:5 haunts me. Not to mention that I love playing with him!

I also have an amazing wife I’m trying to be a good husband to, who’s been as busy and overwhelmed launching the new store as she’s ever been.

Note to self: it’s ok, Ben, that you don’t blog everyday. In fact, thank you very much Jon Acuff for the idea, it’s ok if you post your top 5 blog posts for 2011 during the last 5 days of 2011. Which is what I’m going to do.

I give you permission to slow down your blog, too. There are other, more important things in your life.

Feel free to pick it back up in January. And in the meantime, relax. Have a merry little Christmas. Or a merry big Christmas. Enjoy the time away.

* image credit: Creation Swap User Vicky Smit

 

image credit: Creation swap user Joe Cavasos, edits mine

We use the letter ‘x’ for a variety of things.

• It marks the spot on a treasure map.
• It stands for ‘kisses,’ as when you sign something XOXO
• It represents an unknown amount of something. As in something that costs $XX.XX
• It represents getting rid of something. I’m “X”-ing that out. Striking it from the record.

Used alone, ‘X’ often stands in place of something else. In other words, it “replaces” the real meaning that should be intended. It stands in place of something more important that, for whatever reason, you did not wish to display.

Replacing Christ with an X

Which can get a little hairy when it comes to Christmas, right? X-mas is seen by many as a way of, quite literally, removing Christ from Christmas. Replacing the King of the world with an “X.” I mean, at least it’s a capital letter when it’s done…but still, it seems a bit too easy to be rid of the most pivotal person in all of human history.

And, come on…nobody says, “Happy X Day” for Labor Day or “Happy Xter” for Easter or “X Luther King, Jr. Day” for Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. That would be weird. Except for Xter day…I kind of like how that sounds.

Greek to English

Before you get yourself in a tizzy over the X that people often use “in place of Christ” in Merry X-mas, I think it prudent to understand a bit about language. Here’s rule number 1:

Greek is different than English.

At least that’s what they taught me in seminary.

And it’s so pertinent in this situation.

English has basically transliterated the Greek word (which is the language of the New Testament) for Christ. The Greek word for the name of Jesus Christ is pronounced ‘yay-soos’ ‘cree-s-toss’. Spelled out, it looks like this: Ιησούς Χριστός.

Notice the first letter of the second word: ‘X’. “X” is the first Greek letter in the name of Jesus. And that ‘X’ isn’t actually an ‘X’ like it is in English. It’s actually a “Chi.” You may have seen/heard this in various fraternities/sororities (e.g., the sorority: Chi Omega).

Throughout history, ‘X’ has been a shorthand way of referring to Jesus because it’s the first letter of his name in Greek. In no way meant to be disrespectful or derogatory, ‘X’ has historically just been a way of referring to Jesus Christ.

‘X’ is not, and has not been, a replacement for Christ in Christmas. There are many ways to keep Christ out of Christmas…but unfortunately for those of you who like to hop on the “keep Christ in Christmas” bandwagon, this isn’t one of them. If you are looking for some proactive ways to “keep Christ in Christmas,” I’ve got some thoughts for you HERE.

So I’m starting a new campaign.

“Keep X in Christmas!”

I’m having buttons made as we speak.

Merry X-Mas!

*image credit: Creation swap user Joe Cavasos, edits mine

 

Stuck Between Stages

I find myself in a strange stage of life at this moment. In many ways, I can appeal to two very different groups: older leaders and younger leaders.

To younger leaders, I’m older. I’ve been in vocational ministry for nearly 6 years, have experience writing, teaching, leading teams, and consulting. I’ve been married for more than 7 years and have a 3 year old son. To “young” leaders, I’m old…ahem…experienced.

To older leaders, I’m still young. I’m not yet 30, still have a young child, have not run as many ministry laps as others, and still have a lot to learn. The “wet” behind my ears isn’t yet fully dried.

I find myself stuck between new leaders and old leaders. Which leaves me categorically nowhere. Thanks a lot, late-20s.

Living the Tension

For many of the decisions in my life right now, I live in this tension. I’ve been around long enough to stand on my own feet…but l have also been around long enough to know I don’t know everything. There are still days I feel in over my head. There are still days where I doubt myself. There are still days when I desperately need the sage advice that experience brings.

But I’ve been around long enough that people are looking at me for that same kind of advice. Which frightens me…and should frighten many others, too.

Many days, I wonder whether the next step forward is a good one…or is just a creepy man with a white wigbeard. Should I tell him what I want…or look at him, like my son did, with much trepidation?

photo credit: me

Allow me, out of this tension, to speak to you.

To older leaders:

We need you. Urge us to proceed with caution or to run full throttle. Prod us to start something new. Encourage us to quit doing what we’re doing. Tell us what you would do if you were our age. We crave your years of experience. We long to learn from your failures so we don’t replicate them. Help us to stand on your shoulders and see further than our own vantage point offers.

To younger leaders:

Seek wisdom. It’s out there for you. In books, podcasts, and blog posts. It’s available in other men and women, screaming to shed light on the dark and confusing areas of your life. Don’t try to navigate the fog on your own. Life’s too short, and you haven’t lived enough of it.

Out in the open wisdom calls aloud, she raises her voice in the public square; on top of the wall she cries out, at the city gate she makes her speech. (Proverbs 1:20-21)

Whatever stage in life you find yourself, you have a role. Lead upwards and downwards, sideways and backwards. The Kingdom needs you.