Category: Church (page 20 of 28)

I hate…

March 13, 2011 / / 10 Comments

I hate…

…when I fart, thinking I’m all alone, then someone walks up to talk with me. (ok, come on…you know you do it)

…when I can’t find something I know is right beside me

…when I’m dead tired, but have to stay awake

…working inside on beautiful days

…”Say Yes to the Dress”

…sparkling water

…being late

…lima beans

…sitting still

A little heavier

I hate…

…that “church people” are often the reason that the unchurched don’t attend.

…to see fathers not engaged with their children.

…to see husbands not treating their wife like their princess

…to see people who are paralyzed by their fears.

…when people won’t accept grace, but live in guilt and shame.

…that some moms have to raise their children alone.

…injustice.

…that the Church isn’t a healthier community.

…to see people making bad choices after bad choices.

What do you hate?

 

Excluding visitors from small groups?

March 9, 2011 / / 17 Comments

Michael McKinley wrote this on the 9Marks Blog:

So in our church, non-members are welcome to attend and participate in the public services of the church.  We are happy to have them in our Sunday morning gathering, our Sunday evening gathering, and our fellowship meals.

But we don’t let people attend small groups…until they are members.

 

This statement shocks me, and runs countercultural to what we, as a church are trying to accomplish.  We never want to exclude new folks from being a part of our small groups, because we believe that the best way to get connected, grow in your faith, and become a disciple of Christ is in the context of small groups.

If we were to exclude visitors from linking up with small groups, we would, in effect, be saying that we value church membership over discipleship.

I’m not ready to make a statement like that.

Discipleship doesn’t start when you become a church member.

But maybe I’m wrong.

What do you think?

Should visitors be excluded from small groups, until they become members?

 

It’s time to fail

March 8, 2011 / / 7 Comments

Maybe it’s about time you failed.

(image by ArtMoth.com)

I remember when I didn’t make the varsity baseball team in high school.  I was crushed.  But through that, I ended up quitting baseball to pursue golf, a sport I turned out to be pretty good at.

In seminary, I absolutely bombed a paper that I thought was one of my better projects.  Through that, I worked hard to refine my writing, and in the process, found a great love of writing.

The first small group my wife and I were a part of (in Louisville, KY) was an abysmal failure.  I didn’t want that to happen to us, or anyone else, again.  Now I’m a small groups pastor.

The New Testament Church was led by a guy named Peter.  Don’t forget that he had an epic fail, where his pride was kicked in the teeth.  He thought he was ready to die for Jesus.  He wasn’t (John 13:37-38).  His pride would even need to be kicked again a little later. (Galatians 2:11-21) And it needed to be in order for God to use Peter.

Why you need to fail

It’s through failure that we learn what we’re not that great at. Here’s a shocker: you’re not great at everything.  God’s gifted each person uniquely…you included.  We may not always find that gifting on our first shot.  Be open to other ideas than what you’ve always thought or been told.  Maybe your failure is a good indication that you need to try something else.

It’s through failure that we find out which ideas aren’t the best. Failure becomes a way of culling out the ideas, projects, programs, and directions that needed to go.

It’s through failure that we are motivated. Who wants to fail twice?  Failure pushes you to work harder, more efficiently, and lean more heavily on others.  Failure is a great deterrent to future failure.

It’s through failure that God comforts us. It’s hard to experience comfort without some level of failure. (see Lamentations 3:16-23)

It’s through failure that our pride is sucker-punched. If you were as awesome as you thought you were, you’d not have failed.  As John Ortberg says, “There is a God, and it is not you.”

As valuable as failure is, I still find myself consistently praying, “Lord, please help this _______ to go really well.”  Or, “Lord, you want this __________ to succeed more than I do…”  Or, “Lord, help this idea to not fall flat on its face.”

Maybe I should start praying, “Lord, maybe this needs to flop.  You know best.  Help me grow in the process.  Chip away the parts of me that don’t look like You.  Grow your Church.  Knock down my pride.  Renew my faith in Your plan.”

Is there an area of your leadership or your life that needs to fail?

Have you seen God grow you more through failure or through success?

 

Removing the competition

March 4, 2011 / / 4 Comments

(graphic by Aaron Justin)

The bigger a church gets, the more the tendency creeps in for the church to offer more and more programs.

More nights of the week.

With more variety.

Seemingly meeting more needs.

But the more you offer, the more you show how little you believe in each one of them.  Allow me to explain.

If I believe that Justin Bieber-style music is the way that people truly experience God through song on Sunday mornings in our context (I don’t…but just hang with me), then I’m not going to let any other genre of music happen on stage.  I’m going to work my tail off to get more and more Bieber music in front of the congregation.  I’m going to have CDs ready for people as they leave.  I’m going to find musicians who are gifted pop artists.  I’m going to recruit volunteers who have an ear for the way creative pop music can/should sound.  And if I’m asked, “Can we start incorporating country music into our worship experience, because we used to do that at my last church, and I liked it…” I can easily say, “No.”  Not because there’s anything wrong with country music, but because in our context, Bieber is the most effective.

If we open up the door for country music as well, what we’re saying is that your spiritual growth isn’t that important.  We’re diluting the water with things less important.  Things less effective.  And what we’re communicating is that we don’t strive first and foremost to help you best understand the Gospel…we strive first and foremost to make you happy, and keep you from leaving.  Because if we believed that the Gospel was first and foremost, we would do that thing that most effectively helps you understand and apply it.

Adding more and more programs sounds great.  It sounds like you’re doing the right thing.

But instead of adding more, try honing in.  Figure out the most effective thing you’re doing to help create disciples on Sunday morning…and do that with excellence.  Figure out the most effective thing you’re doing to create disciples in small groups (whether that’s Sunday school, home groups, cell groups, or shallow small groups like THIS), and do that well.

The more programs you offer, the thinner you spread your volunteer base.

The more programs you offer, the weaker each becomes in the mind of your congregation.

The more programs you offer, the more your people are encouraged to do “church” stuff, instead of investing in their family and in their community.

So next time someone says, “Can we start doing __________ program,” you may just want to say no.

Have you ever said, “No” to a program idea?

Have you ever said, “Yes,” but wish you’d said, “No”?

 

Build. Tear down. Build again.

March 3, 2011 / / 9 Comments

In Genesis 1: 28, God tells Adam and Eve to

Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground.

The charge “Be fruitful and increase in number” refers directly (and obviously) to having children, but I don’t think that it’s limited to childbearing.  Why?

  1. Because the passage immediately moves to ruling over the animals and the earth.  Why we enjoy progress.  And growth.  And building.
  2. Because I see this passage as being related to our creation in the image of God.  And since everybody can’t bear children, the passage must have applications beyond that.

This passage gives an explanation to something I’ve had stirring in my heart since I was born.  Something I see playing out in my life every day.  And something I see in my 2 year old son.

The desire to build.

One of my son’s favorite toys is his LEGOs.  He loves to get them out of the bucket and connect them together, building his tower higher and higher, wider and wider.  And then, as if that was the whole point in building it…he knocks it down, squeals with joy, and starts over again.  And he always wants me on the ground playing with him, feeding him more blocks, and connecting them to make his “building” bigger and better.

And I’m convinced that this is part of his being created in the image of God.  Building things from “scratch.”  Repairing broken things.  Making things taller, wider, and stronger.

And you know what…I have that same desire.

Not to spend my days playing with LEGOs.  But in creating a higher, deeper, and more sound structure for our church and small groups.  I want “every living creature that moves on the ground” to experience the width and length and height and depth of the love of Christ (Ephesians 3:18).

I want to add more volunteers.  Add more curriculum.  Make our trainings more effective.  Produce more disciples.  Make our connection events easier to navigate.

Then knock down the portions that aren’t working as effectively so that we can build the structure even better.

And I’m convinced that this is part of being created in the image of God.

Our desire to build structures, systems, ourselves and others is connected with our being created to “fill the earth and subdue it.”

And this helps us to know why we’re frustrated by a lack of progress.  And why, when we’re not meeting our goals, that gets on our nerves.  And when a project takes longer than normal to complete, why we want to change things up to continue progressing.

Ever talked with someone who has no idea where they’re headed in life?  They’re unnerved by that, aren’t they?

Because we were created to build, and grow, and create, and refine, and progress.

It’s part of who we are as God’s creatures.

Ever been frustrated by a lack of growth?


Ever found yourself just wanting to knock things down so you can build something stronger?


Do you play with LEGOs?

 

The epic battle of running

March 2, 2011 / / 0 Comments

Running, for me, is an epic battle, both emotionally and physically, every time.

Here’s how a typical run goes:

  1. I’m pumped to run.
  2. .5 mile in, I hate it.
  3. 1 mile in, I feel like I might be able to do this.
  4. 1.5 miles in, I hate it.
  5. 2 miles in, I start to hit my stride.
  6. 2.5 miles in, I start to hit the wall.
  7. 3 miles in, I really start cruising.
  8. 3.5 miles in, I feel like I might die.
  9. 4 miles in, I die.
  10. 4.5 miles in, still dead.
  11. Last .5 mile, I get a little more energy.
  12. I’m thrilled to be finished, and can’t wait to do it again.

Am I the only one that has these ups and downs…all in the same run?

See, if I’d quit any along the way, I would’ve kicked myself, because I wouldn’t have experienced that sweet taste of completion.  Because there’s something awesome to be had at the end…the feeling that I did it, I completed what I set out to do, I’ve gotten a good workout in, and I feel tired and energized all at the same time.

We have the tendency, when things get tough, to tucker out.  Give in.  When a relationship is emotionally draining, we’ll give up on it…rather than pushing on through.  When a project reaches that it’s-not-cool-anymore stage, it’s easier to quit than persevere.  When life gets tough, and doing what God’s called you to do seems more than you can bear, it’s much easier to say, “God’s just closing that door” than to say, “God’s called me to it even though it’s unbearably difficult.”

It’s time to finish strong.

What project do you need to give a bit of endurance to?

What idea to you need to keep pressing in on?

What relationship do you need to pursue?

What “closed door” do you need to knock down?

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.  Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air.  No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize. -1 Corinthians 9:24-27


 

You probably wouldn’t like my small group

February 28, 2011 / / 10 Comments

If you’re looking for a small group, you probably wouldn’t like mine.

Why you won’t like my small group

  • Nobody’s perfect. Our group is rather messy…in fact, much messier than I ever thought it would be.  If your life is clean and put together, and messiness frustrates you, you’ll hate our group.
  • We celebrate small steps, not just the ‘huge’ ones. And small steps may seem insignificant to you, so if you’re not willing to get excited over a step towards Jesus (no matter how seemingly insignificant), you’ll not feel at home with us.
  • There’s no teacher. Just a facilitator.  And the facilitator doesn’t have all of the answers, so if it’s merely answers you’re looking for, mosey on.
  • We talk about challenging stuff. And I don’t mean that we debate obscure theological dogma.  I mean that we work to apply the Scriptures to our lives.  If you love a great, obscure theological debate, you may not enjoy our group.
  • We expect full participation. Nobody in our group is lazy.  In one way or another, every member participates, and is vital to the success of the group as a whole.  If you want to be a lazy sponge, don’t join us.
  • We know each other’s stories. No hiding in our group.  Our group kicked off its first month by encouraging everybody in the group to share their faith story.  Comfortable?  Nope.  This group’s not for you.
  • We’re transparent. Mere platitudes aren’t acceptable.  If all of your answers start with, “Someone once said…” instead of, “I am dealing with…” then you’ll never be comfortable in our small group.
  • We’re diverse. If you’re looking for people that are just like you, who look, smell, act, read the same books, live on the same side of town, have the same number of kids…keep moving.  You’re not going to find that here.
  • Our group is going to end soon, and I’m going to ask each group member to take a step of faith and lead a new group…each one of them. No moss will be gathering with us.  If you like moss, find another group.
  • We serve together. Don’t want to serve?  That’s fine.  Just don’t get frustrated with us when we ask you to join us in making a difference in our community.
  • We have fun. Every week.  We laugh so hard that we snort.  We play games, share stories, and study the Bible…all while having fun.  I wrote more extensively about the importance of having fun in small groups HERE.  If you don’t like having fun, you’re an old codger.  And old codgers don’t last long in our group.

Based on the reasons above, would you want to join my small group?

 

Content is King

February 28, 2011 / / 9 Comments


Design is crucial.  I just wrote about that HERE.

But when it comes to blogging, content is still king.

I have helped a number of people out with their blogs.  Making tweaks.  Customizing them.  Telling them the “secrets” I used to create my blog.

And I’m okay with that.

In the design world, design is sacred.  If you design something, you reserve the right to that property…and people pay big bucks for your expertise and creativity.  You don’t just give that design away.*

But in my world, I give it away.  Partly because I’m not a designer.  Partly because I believe that social media is built for generosity.  And mainly because, though design is incredibly important and attractive, it’s not king.  Content is.

Design may be flashy, but it’s the content that’s driving this blog, not the design.  Design is an important aspect, but it’s not the one that keeps me writing.

Design is important, but it’s not why somebody would come back to your site.  It’ll only get you (and your readers) so far.  I’ve seen some incredibly well-designed blogs…filled with fluff.  I don’t go back.  I’ve seen some no-design blogs, with lots of great, fresh content.  I return often.

People may initially click your site because it looks cool.  But they’ll choose whether or not to come back because of the content you produce.

Which is why I firmly believe that the number of subscribers (those who buy in to what you have to say, and return regularly) you have to your blog is more important than the number of blind hits you have.

Are you producing high quality content?

Are your subscriber counts reflecting that?

Do you find yourself working more on your blog design than your content?

Can the same be said of your church?

*let it be known: 1) I’m not a designer.  2) I have no problem with designers charging for their services.

 

Evangelism #Fail

February 24, 2011 / / 13 Comments

The way I was brought up to share my faith doesn’t work.

I was told that, in order to rightly share your faith, all you needed to do was walk someone down the “Romans Road.”  Ever heard of it?

The progression goes from Romans 3:23 to 6:23 to 5:8 to 10:13, and finally to 10:9-10.

I’m so thankful the book of Romans was written so that we would have a “road” to walk.  Aren’t you?  (*insert sarcastic smile*)

I mean, the road is “right” theologically.  It’s an airtight, albeit brief, presentation of the Gospel.  Methodologically, though, it is based on a superficial understanding of the Gospel, that the Gospel is really just about having the right knowledge.  And that if you can clearly and succinctly communicate those points to a nonbeliever (without looking at your notes…because apparently nonbelievers hate notes.  Unless, of course, you’re sharing the Truth via the EvangeCube, which gives you a slick prop to use), you’ve done your job.  Check that off your spiritual to-do list for the day.

Frankly, I don’t think that could be further from the Truth.

We are often looking for a simplified, step-by-step plan to sharing our faith.    But utilizing a plan that encourages you to parrot the “right” answer to random passersby doesn’t give you much hope of a positive response.

I think that you spell evangelism r-e-l-a-t-i-o-n-s-h-i-p-s.

To rip the relational side of evangelism out of sharing your faith makes the Truth that you share hollow and empty.

But to build your evangelism on the foundation of relationships that you’re forming with your family, friends, coworkers, barista, small group member, mechanic, waitress, barber, tour guide, workout buddy, and neighbor…that’s where evangelism moves from mere cold, hollow words to a message of hope.  From a message of judgment and condemnation to a pronouncement of freedom.  From shallow platitudes to The Good News.

If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. – 1 Corinthians 13:2

Have you ever led someone to Christ?

Was a relationship involved?

 

Don’t get shot-blocked

February 23, 2011 / / 4 Comments

Don’t let “I’m not sure how” shot-block you.

Figure out how to get it done.  Read.  Study.  Listen.  Interview people who are already knocking it out of the park.

Imitate a hero.

Or innovate, create, and forge a new path.

But if you know what you’re supposed to do, don’t let “I’m not sure how” get in your way.  There’s a way to get that thing done.

Raise the money.  Recruit the volunteers.  Cast the vision until you’re blue in the face.

But don’t get shot-blocked.  “I’m not sure how” is a lame excuse.

 
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