10 Things I Guarantee You’ll Never Say

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I have said a lot of stupid things in my life. Many of which I’ve said right here on this blog. Things that have gotten me in hot water, cold water, and dry with no water.

I’ve been thinking a lot recently about the trajectory of my life, how I’m spending my time, and where I want to point. As I’ve thought back over the years, there are things I realize I’ve never said that have significantly shaped who I am. God’s changed me through generosity, community, laughter, my son, my church(es), and my own leadership journey.

Sometimes what’s not said is more important than what is said. And there are things you’ll never say, either.

I’m not a gambling man, but I’d put good money on the line that you’ll never say any of these things. And if you find yourself saying them, stop it.

10 things you’ll never say

I wish I hadn’t been so generous.

Nobody regrets being generous. Even when your generosity isn’t well received, isn’t thanked, or isn’t noticed, the act of generosity changes you as much as it changes others.

Truth: You’ll never regret generosity.

Life would’ve been better if I hadn’t joined that small group.

You will have less “free” time in your life, more heartache, more burdens to bear, more mess to wade through, and more people to pray for. Life will be tougher. But you won’t regret joining a small group, because you’ll have people to journey through life with.

Truth: You’ll never regret investing in people’s lives.

My best friends? They’re the ones I never laugh with.

Get off the boring train, and start recognizing that laughter is a gift from God. You’ll grow more spiritually with a group of people that you enjoy being around than ones you dread meeting with.

Truth: If you don’t enjoy being around you, neither will others.

I wish I had spent less time with my kids.

And your kids will never say they wish that you’d spent less time with them, either.

Truth: Time with your kids is not time wasted.

I love to drink mediocre coffee.

No you don’t. Nobody does. Which is why when I have people over to my house, I serve the best stuff that I’ve got. Or I go get my hands on the best stuff I can find. All coffee is not created equal.

Truth: 1 cup of my coffee just might change your life. :)

I wish I had been less regular at church.

Your church isn’t perfect. Neither is mine. But being where God’s people gather to worship and celebrate the work of God is healing and life-giving.

Truth: Getting plugged into a local church will change the trajectory of your life.

“Leadership” doesn’t really have any relevance in my life.

No matter where you find yourself, leadership is playing a significant role. Sometimes it’s affecting you positively. Other times, negatively. Sometimes by its presence. Other times by its absence.

Truth: Focusing on your own leadership development isn’t a waste of time.

My life is much more lovely because of my cat.

Nope. It’s not.

Truth: I hate cats. So do you.

I wish I had not gone on that mission trip.

I wrote about it here, but my life was shifted when I traveled to Costa Rica. Others’ lives were shifted because I was sick for part of the week, too. Whether you go on a trip out of your country or across state lines, you won’t regret the time away from work or the money it cost you to get there.

Truth: Going on a mission trip will mess you up in the best way possible.

Children’s ministry? That’s a waste of time.

If you say this, expect to not be a pastor very long. Or expect your church numbers to dwindle quickly.

Truth: When you invest in children, you are investing in the life of the Church. For today and tomorrow.

Anything you’d add? 


Christ follower, husband, father, writer, small groups pastor at Saddleback Community Church. Communications director for the Small Group Network.

Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.

  • http://www.jasonvana.com Jason Vana

    I love your point on cats: I hate cats. So do you. LOL

    I can honestly say I will never say these 10 things.

    • http://www.benreed.net Ben Reed

      Ha! Yes!!

  • http://edsslipper.net/ Pierre

    “I love to drink mediocre coffee”… you’d be surprised. Some people claim to like sub-standard caffeinated hot drinks. Like coffee 😉

    • http://www.benreed.net Ben Reed

      I’m dropping you some coffee here in the next few days. Getting down to Nashville to my favorite shop to pick you up the best. I’m going to turn you into a coffee lover yet, Pierre!

  • SherryG

    Just signed up for your RSS Feed and enjoying your posts a lot! This one especially. God bless you for the work you’re doing to glorify his Kingdom!

    • http://www.benreed.net Ben Reed

      Wow, I’m honored, Sherry! Hope it’s helpful stuff for you!

  • http://howeoriginal.com/ Jonathan Howe

    5, 8, & 10 might be the most profound things you’ve ever written.

    • http://www.benreed.net Ben Reed

      #8 is why you and I never meet at a Waffle House. :)

  • http://sparkvoice.wordpress.com/ DS

    Regarding children – not only are you investing in them, but those little fella’s can remind us of perspective so quickly.

    I must say – I do really enjoy my cats…nothing like a nice round of loud purring to help a person relax…

    • http://www.benreed.net Ben Reed

      So true! …on the children idea, not the cats. :) (kidding!)

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  • http://somewiseguy.com/ ThatGuyKC

    Haha! These are great! As a Starbucks fan and Seattle resident the coffee comment hit home. :)

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