10 Statements Church Visitors Never Want to Hear

October 8, 2012 / Ben Reed / 27 Comments

image credit: CreationSwap user Beaty Bass, edits mine

You’ve been a church visitor at some point, right?

Ever heard something you wish you didn’t hear, right off the bat?

I’ve got a few that nobody really wants to hear. Some I’ve heard personally. Others I’ve heard as they were told to someone else.

10 Statements Church Visitors Never Want to Hear

1. Our pastor isn’t normally this _____.

Insert whatever you want in this blank: loud, obnoxious, offensive, long-winded. If you have to explain part of your pastor’s style because you know that outsiders won’t like it, you’ve got a problem. Talk with your pastor about that.

2. We’re full. Sorry.

Always have a backup plan. Always. If someone sees that your service is full once, they’ll deal with it. But they probably won’t come back if they don’t see a plan you have in place.

3. What are YOU doing here?

Never say this. Never. Your shocked, open mouth reveals your judgmental spirit…at least in the eyes of visitors. When you say this, all they can think is, “God couldn’t really love someone like you.”

4. You can’t serve now…you’ve got to be a member first.

Why would someone want to become a member if they’ve never had the chance to serve?

5. We don’t believe in serving coffee on Sunday mornings.

If you say this, I can only assume you are leading a church in the pit of Hell.

6. What’s your address? I didn’t catch it on the first 6 forms I had you fill out.

Try to streamline the “first time visitors check-in process.” Nobody likes to feel like they’re visiting HR on their first church visit.

7. You want to join a small group? You’ll have to wait until next Fall.

If you ask people to wait more than a month to join community, they’ll often look elsewhere.

8. Here we just care about the Truth. If you don’t like it, you can leave.

I get it. You love the Bible. You love preaching the Truth. But don’t love that more than you love people.

9. Here are the 38 things we do each week as a church.

Simplifying is the key, otherwise you’ll give people decision paralysis.

10. Next time, could you make sure to wear _____.

Fill that in with “something nicer,” “something more relaxed,” or “something that’s clean,” and you’ve offended someone unnecessarily. Creating a “come as you are” culture should be our aim, not creating a “come as I am” culture.

Got anything you’d add?

Church, Leadership

Jason Adkins

I think there is wisdom in requiring membership before service. It helps communicate the importance and significance of membership. Also, having the authority to exercise church discipline on those involved in the service of the church seems appropriate. Perhaps, we would distinguish between acts of service in which non-members could participate and those in which they couldn’t.
- Ben Reed
  
  I wouldn’t disagree with that, Jason. I just want to make it clear to non-members that there’s room for them to serve. I want them to understand that there are ample opportunities for them to plug right in to the mission of our church, without committing to membership.
  
  We did that at Grace, where I just left, and we do that at Long Hollow, where I’m at now. There are certain roles that are higher levels of leadership that require a different level of commitment to the church.
  
  Thanks for pushing for clarification.
Amy Jackson

My favorite one is the coffee. How can you not serve coffee??? 🙂
- Ben Reed
  
  I know, Amy! We’ll serve you coffee any time you come to our church! 🙂
Scott

Membership is important for some service positions (Sunday school teachers, small group leaders etc) but there are service positions available for new people (parking, coffee, set up etc) where they can fit in while checking out your church.
- Ben Reed
  
  Totally agree, Scott. Great point.
ThatGuyKC

Haha! As someone who works in the frontline ministries on Sunday mornings some of these have crossed my mind before. Thank you for the reminder to hold my tongue.

Service and coffee are vital aspects of a successful church. 🙂
- Ben Reed
  
  Yes they are, KC. Yes they are.
  
  What do you do, serving-wise, on Sundays? Just curious.
  - ThatGuyKC
    
    Actually it’s a paid position. I’m the “Director of Host Teams” which basically means I lead our ushers and greeters for all 3 services. I’ve got about 100 volunteers.
Chris West

“Alright, we’re just going to have to pass the plates again. . .”
- Ben Reed
  
  That’s a good one I left out, Chris. A really good one!
Jason Vana

I knew someone who would yell at visitors for smoking out in the parking lot. Heaven forbid a smoker would want to come to Jesus.
- Ben Reed
  
  Ha! That’ll get ’em saved!
  - Jason Vana
    
    Worst part was, they did it to a family member of mine who was in visiting and was just starting to be open to seeking God. I was pissed. Thankfully she eventually did come to Christ, but I know it took much longer because that incident really stuck with her and was something she talked about for a long time.
Bud Brown

1. I’m sorry but we don’t have a children’s nursery today.
2. You’re sitting in my seat
3. Can you take your squirmy child out of the auditorium?
4. We don’t allow coffee in the sanctuary
5. Would you please stand up and introduce yourselves?
6. People with tattoos won’t feel comfortable here.
7. Fill out the visitor’s card and drop it in the offering basket.
8. The main entrance to the worship center is over there, just follow the signs.
- Ben Reed
  
  Your list is officially better than mine!!
  - Bud Brown
    
    I have an unfair advantage, Ben. I do a lot of work in this area. I’m an “intensive interim pastor” and specialize in churches that are smoking holes in the ground. Hospitality is usually one of the first problems we have to address.
    
    Keep up the good work!
    - Ben Reed
      
      Wow…what a great gift to churches you are. I’m sure that some of your consulting is hard to hear, but I have no doubt you’re making huge impacts.
- Wayne
  
  What’s your thought about the visitors card? Why not?
  - Bud Brown
    
    When it comes time to fill out that card a church visitor has to calculate the risk:reward ratio which rarely comes out favorably. On top of that, if their analysis is favorable there’s a last minute rush to fill it out which runs the risk of holding up the offering process, putting them on the spot – the last thing you want to do to a church visitor.
    
    With a little creativity it’s possible to gather all of that information before they get to the auditorium. For example, it is fairly painless to put together a discount coupon book of local merchants and, at the welcome center, they register to get the coupon book. That’s a favorable risk:reward ratio.
    
    There are a wide variety of other things that can be done to gather that information in user friendly ways. That’s what I blog on so you can keep an eye on our website for that information.
    - Shelby Craig
      
      I’m going to have to disagree with your take on the information card. First thing, don’t call it a “Visitor Card” call it a “communication card”, “connections card”. Make sure that EVERYONE fills it out. At our church, we provide a intentional 30 seconds at the welcome for EVERYONE to fill out the card. This doesn’t single out 1 person in our congregation and they aren’t rushed at the end. And, we always ask the first time guest to “Give us as much information as you feel comfortable with”. This takes the risk factor out. We do ask them to drop it in the offering bucket, again dropping the risk of having to talk to someone they don’t know. And we ask them to “swing by the connections table to pick up your gift”. This also drops the risk factor. If they can “swing” by, they don’t have to “stop” by.
      
      After we get the connection cards, which our completion rate is at 92%. We also mail them a $10 gift card to Starbucks along with a HAND WRITTEN note from me, the pastor. Now, when they are a second time guest, they WILL fill out the card. Why? Because what gets rewarded, gets repeated. We oftentimes have 2nd time guest mark 1st time just to get another $10 gift card. But we provide a $5 gas card to 2nd time guest, in the mail, with a hand written note from the me again, not formed letter, hand written.
      
      Also, on the back of the card, we have next steps. We ask everyone to take a next step in our service. Could be as simple as memorizing scripture…I know, foreign concept, or joining a community group, getting baptized or receiving Jesus or a prayer request. If everyone is taking a next step, then your first time guest will too. And this helps you be better stewards with the people God has entrusted you with because now you know how to care for them and follow up.
      
      Hope this helps someone. Feel free to contact me if you have any questions.
      - Bud Brown
        
        Sounds like you’ve developed a workable, well executed system.
        
        What part of the country are you in?
      - Shelby Craig
        
        Bud,
        
        Sorry it took me a year to respond. But we are in Tennessee.
Kenneth

You can’t serve now…you must be a member first. you need to elaborate on this a little bit. There still needs to be background checks etc and to make sure guests align themselves with the church’s values and beliefs before they serve
- Ben Reed
  
  Kenneth, good thoughts. There are certain positions that are more leadership/shepherding in nature (small group leaders, coaches, etc.), and require a deeper commitment to the mission and vision. There are also serve positions that require a background check (working with children and students).
  
  Other than that, I’m ok with folks not becoming a member first. I don’t feel like someone has to be fully committed to us as a church before they do things like wrap cables, set up the hallway, hand out info cards, serve coffee, etc.
  
  That make sense?
- Shelby Craig
  
  You don’t have to do a background check or be a Christ follower to be a greeter! If they can smile and say “Welcome to_______! We’re glad you’re here!” They can have to job. Unchurched people and non-believers are the hardest, most sold out volunteer you can have. Jesus didn’t do background checks for his disciples, he said, “Come, Follow Me, I’ll make you fishers of men”…That is essentially what you are doing. Let serving be discipleship.
twina

Shelby, I would love to see a sample of your Connections Card… I recently started working with a church that is struggling and am trying to help with some communications efforts… Thanks!

10 Statements Church Visitors Never Want to Hear

10 Statements Church Visitors Never Want to Hear

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10 Statements Church Visitors Never Want to Hear

10 Statements Church Visitors Never Want to Hear

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