Tag: Leadership (page 8 of 13)

The 1 thing every leader needs to hear

November 23, 2011 / / 6 Comments

photo credit: creation swap user Drew Palko

I meet with leaders regularly. Mostly, those are small group leaders at Grace, where I’m on staff.

Nearly every leader struggles with feelings of insecurity about their leadership (I put myself in that boat, too). It’s just part of living life as a broken, fallible human trying to lead people.

Leaders wonder

  • whether our upcoming decision is the right one.
  • whether the decision we just made was the right one.
  • if we’re strong enough for the job.
  • if we’re pleasing the right people.
  • whether we’re being successful.
  • whether we’re the right person for the job.

Leaders say

  • It’s too tough
  • I’m too busy
  • People aren’t responding
  • I still have so much in my life I need to work on
  • I don’t know enough
  • I haven’t experienced enough
  • I’m in over my head
  • There are better leaders out there
  • I’m not the best leader available
  • Do you know my past?

If all leaders, at some level, struggle with insecurity, then all leaders need to hear these words spoken to them:

You can do this.

Moses and Joshua

When Moses was about to die, he knew he needed to pass the baton of leadership for the people of Israel. There was a huge task in front of the Israelites, and they needed a strong leader. Moses knew it wouldn’t be him (we learn this from Numbers 20:12) In Deuteronomy 31:1-8, we see Moses addressing the Israelites in preparation for his coming death. After addressing the people, he called Joshua to him and we read this:

“Then Moses summoned Joshua and said to him in the sight of all Israel, ‘Be strong and courageous, for you shall go with this people into the land…”

Joshua was taking on a huge responsibility, following the greatest leader that the nation of Israel had known. I can only imagine the feelings of insecurity that were coursing through Joshua in that moment. A confirmation from Moses was what Joshua, this young leader, needed. He needed to hear from another leader, “You can do this.”

Moses told Joshua that he believed in him. He believed that Joshua was the man for the job. He believed that Joshua had what it took to get the job done. Not on his own, of course…”it is the Lord who goes before you.” (Deuteronomy 31:8) In fact, this was so important that Moses affirmed Joshua “in the presence of all Israel.” Joshua needed this encouragement and affirmation.

Encouraging another leader

Every leader needs to hear this from another leader. They need to hear, “You can do this” from someone they respect. They need to hear this from you. It’s vital to their continued growth.

If this is so important, how can you honestly and helpfully encourage and affirm another leader?

Listen to them. Ask good questions. Look to affirm the work they’ve been doing, and speak hope into them. You’ve been where they are, and you’ve had the feelings of insecurity they’re having. Give them these 4 words:

You can do this.

 

 

Out-dreaming Those You Lead

October 26, 2011 / / 4 Comments

Leaders should dream, because without dreaming there’s no forward momentum.

But dreaming without leading can leave you out-dreaming your team.

Photo Credit: Creation Swap User Rob Gros

A good friend of mine has a boss that lives in her dream world. Her boss is living out her dream of owning her own small business…this is what she’s wanted to do her whole life. And she gets frustrated when those she’s hired don’t have hearts that beat for the business like hers does, and when her employees aren’t as personally invested in her dream as she is. Though she has great employees (case-in-point, my friend), they feel like they can never measure up to the standard that their boss sets as a pace for the organization, even when they’ve accomplished their job well.

I’d love to say that this only happens in the secular world, but I’d venture to reason that you’ve seen this dynamic on Sunday mornings at church. Maybe you’ve even fallen into this trap.

Ever have a volunteer you’re responsible for not show up? Ever been frustrated by that?

When church leaders grow frustrated because they’re out-dreaming those they’re leading, they often heap guilt on others. Here’s a scenario for you:

Sorry, I can’t make it this Sunday…it’s been a crazy week…I’m tired, my kids are tired, and I’m just not going to be able to make it to volunteer in the parking ministry…

Sorry I can’t make it this Sunday, we’re going out of town next week and I need to get things ready…

Sorry I can’t make it this Sunday, I’m going to the _____ game Sunday afternoon…

To which every church staffer thinks

I’ve had a hard week too…I’m tired…and I want to go to that game!!

And the follow-up thought, if you’ll be honest with yourself right now, is this:

Do they really love Jesus? Because if they did…

Confession Time

I’ve fallen into the trap of out-dreaming those on my team. See, I’m living my dream right now. I absolutely love what I do. I love my church, the team I get to work with, and what I get to do within it. And sometimes…*shocker*…I have some volunteers that aren’t as committed to leading their small group as I am to leading this ministry.

I find a part of me growing frustrated that they’re not as invested in this as I am. Frustrated that I put long, hard hours into leading the ministry, while they have other dreams they’re pursuing (which, in the moment, I’d call less important). I’ve even thought, “If it were me, I’d give up _____ so I could lead my small group.” Or, “If I were them, I’d not let my kids do _____ so that I could love people and lead my small group well…” Those are some low moments for me.

In those moments, I have to take a deep breath and remind myself that this is my dream, not theirs.

Leaders: your dream is your dream. Don’t expect that everybody is going to be invested in it like you are.

Sure, you cast vision well. Sure, you recruit leaders well. Sure, you sell the mission well. But at the end of the day

  • It’s your vision, not theirs.
  • It’s your job, not theirs.
  • It’s your passion, not (necessarily) theirs.
  • You live for this, they don’t.
  • They have other dreams, you don’t.

This shouldn’t discourage you from dreaming. But if you’re going to dream, dream well.

Leaders that Dream Well

  • Allow people to dream with them. Maybe you’re dreaming too small. If you’re going to accomplish your dream, you’ve got to have other people on board. More people = more laborers = more ideas = more solutions = bigger, more effective dreams.
  • Allow flexibility in their dream. In this, you may have to actually give up part of your dream, but in the process, your give your dream the chance to go further. Allowing flexibility means you work from a modified, but unified dream. More flexibility = more buy-in = more unified vision = bigger, more effective dreams.
  • Equip people, but don’t leave them hanging. It’s not their job, after all, to make sure your dream is accomplished. Equip them to work well, but don’t send them out to do a job because you don’t want to do it. Help them accomplish the vision you’ve given them, don’t simply heap a burden on them. More support = more effective work = less burnout = bigger, more effective dreams.
  • Lead well. Lead people to adopt your vision. Don’t look at this from the “You’re either all-in or all-out” vantage point. Lead people to buy in to your vision. Cast vision well, love well, and be patient. After all, how long did it take before you fully followed what God was calling you to do? More leadership = more leaders involved (leaders attract leaders) = more followers involved (leaders also attract followers) = bigger, more effective dreams. 

Have you ever out-dreamed your team?

Have you ever been expected to adopt someone else’s dream that wasn’t your own?

 

Dat cool, Daddy?

October 21, 2011 / / 11 Comments

Photo Credit: Back Drop Express

My son asked me to go outside and play football with him yesterday. Mind you, he’s 3. So football for him looks a lot safer for me now than it will in a few years.

We were throwing the ball back and forth, and he was loving every minute of it. I’d throw it as high as I could, and he’d watch it come crashing down to the ground and bounce strange directions. He’d mimic me and watch it bounce again.

He’d say, “Daddy…watch me!” And I’d watch him throw the ball up in the air and hear him squeal with delight that he did it.

Of course, when he would, I’d go nuts, making a big deal and encouraging him that he threw the ball.

Then one time, unintentionally, I didn’t encourage him. I didn’t tell him he did a good job. I watched him throw the ball, then walked over to pick it up and continue the cycle.

It’s not that he didn’t do a good job…I just didn’t tell him that he did.

And he asked me a question that caused me to stop mid-stride:

Dat cool, daddy?

He wanted to know if he was still doing it right. He wanted validation from someone who knew the ropes, and knew what a “good throw” was supposed to look and feel like. He wanted to hear from his dad that I thought what he was doing was cool.

Don’t we all have a bit of that longing inside of us?

We all want to be validated by someone who knows the ropes. By someone who’s been in our shoes and walked where we’re going. Who can shed a little light on our paths to make the journey a little more navigable.

Older leaders: we need your encouragement. We need your ‘atta-boy!’ We need your wisdom and insight. We need your gut-level response to our gut-level response.

Don’t give up on us. We need you.

But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. – Hebrews 3:13

*Photo credit: BackDrop Express

 

5 Steps to Moving Your Whole Team Forward

October 18, 2011 / / 6 Comments

Photo Credit: Creative Commons User: Pavement Pieces

I love a good competition. Whether we’re talking about sports, board games, or racing to the car, I love the rush of adrenaline you get when the heat is on.

But when it comes to an organization, competition can be healthy or unhealthy. Unhealthy team competition says, “If you win, I lose. If I win, you lose.” Healthy team competition says, “I want to continually improve…because I see you continually getting better. If you win, I win. If you and I win, WE win.”

Many teams, unfortunately, operate on the “win/lose” spectrum of competition.

How do you know if you’re on that kind of team? Here is a test. Check any of the following that apply

  • I get frustrated when another team member “takes” my leader.
  • I have no concern for who I recruit for my team…it doesn’t matter what other team they serve on or what their other commitments are.
  • I have never suggested a leader to be a part of another team…I’ve only recruited for my own.
  • I have said this: “I can’t believe how much budget money the _____ team gets. We need more money than they do because we’re having an impact with ______.”
  • I better have a conversation with that new guy. He’s solid, and I don’t want _____ to snatch him up first.
  • I have said this: “I know you’re helping out with the ______ team, but you’re better than that. If you want, we can give you a more important role with us.”
  • I have thought this: “If I sit down with _____ to recruit them to leadership, I’m only thinking positions on my team. I don’t have the time, energy, or desire to think and recruit for other teams.”
  • I have thought this: “It doesn’t matter how a person is gifted or what their passions are…we have a need on our team, and this person could fill it.”

If you checked any of the above boxes, you have a “win/lose” mindset that is detrimental to your organization’s overall success. And it’s time to shift to a win/win mindset.

Win/win is not simply a personality trait. It’s also not that the person who strives for win/win in an organization is afraid of conflict. Teams that strive for win/win know that a win for another team in an organization is a win for the everyone. Your win is our win. Your loss is our loss.

How do you make this transition with your organization?

Shifting to a Win/Win Mindset

1. Quit viewing your team as a silo.

Instead, begin to view your team as a part of the whole organization, with everybody contributing to the overall health. If the organization is simply one silo, then every “win” means the whole silo “wins.” Every “loss” means the whole silo “loses.”

2. Meet with other team leaders to find out their needs.

Gather multiple team leaders together and find out what needs they have. I recently met with our church’s small groups team, and we shared with each other the leadership holes we each have. It’s important for us to know cross-ministry leadership roles so that when we’re recruiting a potential leader, we each have in the back of our mind, “College ministry needs 5 new leaders, adult small groups needs 2, elementary groups needs 4, etc..” We’re on the lookout for potential leaders in multiple areas, not just our own. Our team operates on the win/win principle.

3. Listen for gifts and passions.

As you recruit leaders, listen for their gifts and passions. Finding the best fit for a leader is more important than fitting them somewhere on my team simply because we have a need. If I sit with a leader and recruit them for college, instead of preschool, it’s not that college “wins” and preschool “loses.” College “wins” and our organization “wins” because when college ministry is better, we’re all better.

 4. Intentionally invest in another team, expecting nothing in return.

Once you’ve listened to the needs present in other teams, you are aware of the holes that they have. Don’t just sit on that information…send some leaders and resources their way! Be generous. If you’re thinking “win/win,” then you’ll trust that if another team takes a step forward, that doesn’t force you to take a step backwards. It helps the whole organization progress.

5. Congratulate another team member on his or her accomplishment.

Instead of festering over how she’s succeeding, genuinely congratulate her. Be excited for the steps forward she and her team are taking. When you create an environment of mutual encouragement, you’re less likely to look for areas to undercut other team members.

When everybody on the team understands the win/win concept, you have a better chance of experiencing forward momentum. Without it, expect backbiting and disunity to dominate.

What kind of team are you on right now?

 

 

Scott Boren & missional communities

October 14, 2011 / / 5 Comments

Scott Boren (Twitter, Facebook, blog) has written an incredible book…one you should read. In fact, you can read it for free…just keep reading to see how!

Scott wrote MissioRelate as a way of prodding small group systems to move towards life-changing, relational experiences that draw people into missional group life.

The word ‘missional’ seems to be abuzz acros the landscape of the American church. It’s ‘hip’ to be ‘missional’ right now. What I love about Scott’s work is that he plainly lays out the foundations of what it takes for small groups to be truly missional, both theologically and practically. This book just might change the way you think about small groups…in a very good way.

Check out this interview I did with Scott (sorry…for some reason, my video froze. I’ll figure out the whole recording thing soon enough!).

Here are the questions Scott answers:

1. You talk a lot about rhythms in your book…why are rhythms so important to group life?

2. You’re pretty critical of current small groups systems. What churches are doing it ‘right’ now?

3. How do you see the typical American mindset influencing church life these days?

5. Give us a couple of practical steps that a small group could take to really draw people in to missional group life.

Scott mentions a few resources in the video. You can see those HERE.

I’m giving away 2 copies of Scott’s book! To enter, just do one of the following:

1. Tweet a link back to this post. You can use this if you’d like: Check out a great new book on missional small groups from @mscottboren: http://ow.ly/6Xery

2. Facebook a link back to this post. You can use this if you’d like: Check out a great new book on missional small groups from Scott Boren: http://ow.ly/6Xery  // (make sure you tag me so I can enter you into the drawing)

3. Leave a comment telling us whether you think that ‘missional small groups’ are a good idea or not.

In your comment, please be sure to leave your email address so I can contact the winners!

I’ll complete the drawing on Saturday evening, October 15th, at 8:00 pm.

But even if you don’t win, you can pick up a copy of the book HERE.

 

The #1 principle in Biblical Leadership

October 13, 2011 / / 3 Comments

I tend to forget.

I get wrapped up into systems and organizational health and execution.

I get wrapped up into “best practices” and “change” and “techniques.”

I get wrapped up into “what’s next” and “what’s not working” and “who needs to be at this table.”

I tend to forget.

Not that leadership principles are wrong, or we shouldn’t be thinking about “what’s next.”

Or systems aren’t important.

Or learning “best practices” from others isn’t something we should be doing consistently.

But may we never that without God’s presence, none of this matters.

Without God’s presence, organizational execution is meaningless.

Without God’s presence at the table, nobody else’s presence matters.

I tend to forget.

Moses said to God, “Look, you tell me, ‘Lead this people,’ but you don’t let me know whom you’re going to send with me. You tell me, ‘I know you well and you are special to me.’ If I am so special to you, let me in on your plans. That way, I will continue being special to you. Don’t forget, this is your people, your responsibility.”

God said, “My presence will go with you. I’ll see the journey to the end.” – Exodus 33:12-14, the Message

Do you ever forget?

 *Photo credit: iStockPhoto user CourtneyK

 

Dave Ramsey, Catalyst 2011

October 6, 2011 / / 3 Comments

Dave Ramsey, author, radio host and TV host, started his talk at Catalyst 2011 with the question:

What does it really mean to be present as you’re engaging in leadership?

He has decided he’s going to run his business God’s way.

Leadership matters.

5 things about leadership that matter:

 

1. In order to be present, you’ve got to understand that people matter.

  • The #1 correlation between your success and failure is your relational IQ.
  • When you’re having an interaction with someone, listen for their story.

2. An incredible team and a culture of excellence matters.

  • If we’re not careful, we’ll be surrounded by people who need more help that they can give.
  • You can’t win the Kentucky Derby if you’ve got a donkey.
  • When you put someone in the wrong seat on a bus, the whole organization suffers.
  • Spend time on the staffing/interview process.
  • Don’t intentionally bring ‘crazy’ into the building.

3. Slow and steady matters.

  • Don’t let your ministry, workplace, and life go faster than your resources.
  • When you’re growing faster than you’ve got money, you’re about to have problems.

4. Financial principles matter.

  • Stay out of debt
  • Save.
  • Have a plan.
  • Spend less than you make.
  • Learn to be generous.

5. A higher calling matters.

  • Do your work as unto the Lord.
  • Opportunity will be attracted to excellence.

Care about the “why” not just the “what.”

The “why” is the most important part. Readdress your higher calling each and every day.

Do you see leadership as essential?

 

Andy Stanley, Catalyst 2011

October 6, 2011 / / 1 Comment

Andy Stanley, pastor at North Point Community Church, opened the main sessions at Catalyst 2011.

He challenged those at the conference with these statements as they related to the theme, “Be Present.”

The more successful you are, the less accessible you will become.

For many this is frustrating. For others, this is liberating. But this is simply a leadership truth. And it’s not a bad thing.

There’s part of us that reads this and says, “Not me. I’ll always be accessible.”

 Refuse to face this reality and burn out by trying to be accessible to everyone.

You get stretched really thin if you ignore this principle. You can only be really, truly accessible to very few people. Over time, your body is in many different locations, and your mind goes with it.

 Some people use success as an excuse to become more inaccessible than necessary.

We see people using success as an excuse. Over time, the one who spreads himself too thin is no longer “present.”

Some people like to live with the mantra:

Unawareness is bliss.

The more aware you are of the needs around you, the more you often feel helpless and put-upon. Because no problem is fixed in 30 minutes, is it?

Being aware of the problems around us wears us out.

The Apostle Paul helps us with this.

Let us not become weary in coing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers. Galatians 6:9-10

Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. Galatians 6:2

You have limited time and opportunity, but as you have time and opportunity…

Here’s the truth from this passage:

  • You can’t shut it all out.
  • You can’t hide in your office from people.
  • You can’t take it all on.

In ministry, this is one of the primary tensions you have to manage. There is no solution for this. If you ever solve this problem, your heart is hard towards people.

This is the phrase that Andy lives by, and the one he lives out with his family all of the time:

Do for one what you wish you could do for everyone.

In school, when people asked the lunch lady, “Can I have an extra cookie?” she’d respond with, “If I give it to you, I have to give it to everyone.” To which you reply, “No you don’t…you can just give it to me!”

Fairness ended in the garden of Eden.

Nothing has been fair since. Fair is nothing to shoot for.

Don’t be fair. Be engaged.

3 tips to be engaged:

  1. Go deep rather than wide.
  2. Get involved with an individual couple.
  3. Go long-term rather than short-term

If you give every single one of your leaders who’s struggling an hour…you’ll be burned out. You’d be better off giving one couple 20 or 30 hours. If you don’t, it’ll rob your joy.

This is a challenge for me, personally. I would like to be able to “fix” everything. I’m grateful for Andy’s wisdom here. I needed it for sure.

Are you tempted to “fix” everything and everyone?

 

Michael Hyatt, Catalyst 2011

October 5, 2011 / / 1 Comment

I’m at Catalyst Conference this week, and I’ll be blogging what I feel are some of the most important sessions.

In this lab session, Michael Hyatt spoke on the importance of the leader’s heart.

On a retreat in college, Michael’s pastor said this:

Based on my experience, by the time you are 55 years old, 10% of you will act like you never knew Jesus at all. 70% of you will be compromised. 20% of you will still be following Christ, and if you want to be a part of that 20%, you have to make a commitment to be in it for the long haul.

This had a profound impact on his life.

What happens to the 80% that don’t make it? Those people lose heart in some way.

This truth is particularly important for leaders.

You will maximize your influence as a leader when you embrace 5 truths about the heart.

5 Truths About Your Heart

1. Your heart is the essence of your identity.

This is particularly important to grasp in a world of social media, where the image triumphs the reality. Don’t lose yourself in your image! The Bible uses the word, “heart” over 1,000 times. Matthew 5:8. Matthew 6:23. Matthew 15:18. Matthew 22:37.

Today, you are you. That is truer than true. There is none alive that is you-ier than you. – Dr. Seuss

The essence of who you are is your heart. It’s where your dreams, hopes, fears, love, and disappointment live in this sanctuary. But the world’s focus is too often on the external image.

In 1 Samuel 16.7, we see that the Lord looks at the heart, because that’s what matters most.

A question that John Eldredge asked rocked Michael’s world:

How is your heart?

2. Your heart is the most valuable leadership tool you have.

Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” It doesn’t say, “If you can squeeze ‘guarding your heart’ into your to-do list…” Your heart is the wellspring of life!

We often think that leadership is about your knowledge, experience, or skills. But it’s about your heart…because it’s the wellspring of life.

A few things about springs:

  • If you stop up a spring, it stops flowing.
  • If you pollute a spring, then what comes out is toxic.

The same is true for your heart.

3. Your heart directly impacts your influence.

Physically, your heart keeps you alive. Your body can’t survive without this vital organ.

Hyatt was brought to the hospital and treated for pneumonia, but 4 days later, he was rushed back to the hospital because of a ruptured gall bladder. But he has found out that, as important as it is, he’s really okay without a gall bladder. But if you lose your heart, you’re dead.

This is also true in a spiritual sense. Your heart is what keeps your organization alive. As a leader, you pump personality into every person and project you meet. Your organization can survive without your skills and knowledge, but it can’t survive without your heart. Your heart is the greatest gift you bring to your organization.

4. Your heart is either healthy or unhealthy

Cardiovascular disease happens in our bodies when arteries harden and blood flow is constricted. Cardiovascular disease is the quiet killer.

Spiritually, it is as well. It takes leaders out when they don’t even know it. And the truth is this: your heart is either open or closed.

When your heart is closed, it looks like this:

distant, aloof, lost in your own problems, can’t connect with people, communication shuts down, leave people on your team to fend for themselves, and people feel oppressed as life and possibility dries up.

But when your heart is open, it looks like this:

When you’re a leader with an open heart, you’re fully present and accessible. You’re focused on others, you connect to people, communication is wide open, you’re a resource to your people, you may focus on what is missing but you don’t focus on what’s wrong (be careul…it’ll suck the life out of your team), people feel free, you’re pumping life and possibility into the organization.

It matters if your heart is open or closed.

5. Your heart is under constant attack.

Satan’s primary objective is to take you out and render you ineffective for God. We do have an enemy, and he takes us out at the level of the heart. We can allow disappointment, disillusionments, and failures to steal our heart if we don’t guard it.

You’re never too old to do something stupid. Don’t ever give up!

Proverbs 4:23 encourages us to guard our hearts. Because there’s something valuable and precious there that needs to be guarded.

Satan is particularly adept at taking out the hearts of Christian leaders. Because he knows that if he takse you out he can take many others out with you. People are watching and hoping that you’re going to make it.

Having close friends is a key to keeping your heart alive, especially considering that pastor burnout is such a massive problem.

The heart is like a drawbridge. Sometimes it needs to be drawn up. But other times it needs to be let down and let others in.

We’re called to love and lead from our heart.

 

 

A Key To Leading Volunteers

October 3, 2011 / / 8 Comments

Make volunteers feel special!

image via Creation Swap

When I was a senior in high school, I was a part of the organization called National Honor Society. And though it felt at times that we existed as an organization purely to meet in between 4th and 5th periods, we did do some good.

One afternoon, we took a trip to an elementary school to help them promote their Fall Halloween Festival. We read books to the students, interacted them, and encouraged them to invite their families to the event that night. My main role was to hand out little trinkets to each student as they left the auditorium. I know…incredibly exciting and important. But I took it upon myself to make each and every student feel special.

So I’d act like each each student coming through was the only person on the planet who got that little spider ring. That spider ring was, according to all standards of financial reason, worthless. But according to that student, their little plastic spider ring was more valuable than a brand new diamond ring.

It’s all about perspective and value.

Which relates to all areas of leadership.

Value and Celebrate Volunteers

If you value those you lead, they’ll feel valuable.

Treat them like they’re a hired hand, and that’s exactly what they’ll feel like.

Treat them like without them you’d suffer. Let them know that their contribution matters.

Email them. Call them. Text them. Take them to lunch. Buy them a cup of coffee. Write them a letter. Have a dinner where you honor them. And give them a plastic spider ring while you’re at it.

Whatever you do, make them feel valued. Make them feel like they’re insiders.

Better yet…make them insiders.

*image via Creation Swap user: Amber Sprung

 
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