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Looking but not listening

March 24, 2011 / / 3 Comments

My wife said something to me the other day.  I was in the other room, so I didn’t hear her.

Valid excuse, no?

My wife said something to me the other day.  I was right beside her, doing something else, so I didn’t hear her.

Valid excuse, no?

My wife said something to me the other day.  I was looking her right in the eyes, and I didn’t hear her.

Valide excuse, no?

No?

Have you ever done that?  You’re looking right at someone, and they’re talking and you hear what they’re saying, but at the same time you’re hearing none of what they’re saying?

I feel dumb saying, “I know you thought we were engaged in a good conversation right then, and I was even nodding my head, but I have no idea what you said.”

Ever done that with God?

We’re surrounded by God speaking.

In our Bibles.  In podcasts.  Sermons.  Songs.  Through our friends.  Our small group.  Books.  Movies.  Creation.

He is speaking through success.  Through failure.  Through closed doors and open ones.

And yet we don’t listen.  We have no idea what God is saying, or calling us to do.

 

So how do we actually start listening to what He’s telling us?

 

How to hear God’s voice

  • Read your Bible. God has spoken most clearly there, and He has guided people for centuries with the Truth found in the Scriptures.  Through reading more and more of the Bible, you begin to understand what moves the heart of God, where and how He’s working, and how your life can more closely reflect that of Christ.  I call that a win.
  • Listen to solid Bible teaching. Hopefully your church offers it.  If not, feel free to supplement with a Podcast from another church.  There are hundreds of great ones out there.  I listen to this one Matt Chandler HERE and Andy Stanley HERE. (though, thankfully, my church, Grace Community Church, offers amazing teaching).  Hearing the Bible taught and applied is a great way to understand what God may be calling you to do.
  • Serve. Serving others is a great way to get you outside of yourself, and remind yourself that you’re not the center of the universe.  It’s also a great way to find out what things you’re gifted at and where your passions lie.
  • Pray. Ask God to reveal to you what He wants you to be and do.  If you want to hear from God, ask Him to speak.
  • Listen to your friends. Asking those who know you well (especially those in your small group) and you to grow in your faith, to help you know what God may be calling you to do, can be incredibly insightful.  If your friends can be honest with you, they have probably seen God working in your life, and can help you know what things you may be gifted at (or not) that may be worth pursuing.
  • Spend some time enjoying beauty. Whether it’s in the form of nature, art, music, or movies, you can hear God speaking there, too.  I’m not promising an audible, booming voice, but God can move you, and speak to you, in significant ways when you acknowledge His role in creating those things.
  • Be still.  For me, this is probably the toughest one.  I struggle to be still and silent and patient.  (Psalm 46:10)

If you want to know what God’s calling you to do, both right now and in the future, try these things.  And when you get finished with these things, try them again.  And again.  And again.

 

Have you heard God speaking to you lately?

 

What’s He calling you to do?

 

 

 

 

Healthy community is not comfortable

March 22, 2011 / / 11 Comments
Reid Smith (on Twitter and Facebook) is the Director of Adult Ministries for the 20,000 member multi-site Christ Fellowship Church in South Florida and is a regular contributing author to smallgroups.com and rightnowtraining.com through his small group training and resource ministry called 2orMore.  This is a series of posts where small group experts share how group life has impacted them personally.  The entire series can be found HERE.

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One of my first small group experiences is still fresh in my memory.

In college I remember falling in love with God’s Word through the Bible study I did in community with others. The contributions of others revealed the richness of the Scriptures to me. Each discovery energized the faith of those of us huddled in Jesus’ Name, drawing out further insights and encouraging conversation.

My small group helped me to take risks in sharing my thoughts about spiritual things with others. This too was foundational for what God was preparing me to do in the future. I walked away stronger from the Bible studies in my small group because I knew I was growing closer to God and I wasn’t alone in the process.

I don’t think I realized how much that small group was encouraging me in things that seasoned Christ-followers can far too easily take for granted like praying aloud in the company of others, sharing a revelation that may (or may not) be obvious to others reading the same Bible passage, or responding to a prompting by the Holy Spirit to serve another in God’s household in some unique way.

My pursuit of the divine felt like an adventure with my band of brothers. They gave me permission to add to the conversation and influence. The power of the Word was demonstrated to me in how God inspired each one through our sharing. I loved the fact that even though I read a passage repeatedly, I could never see everything that came out in our conversations.
One other empowering experience through this early small group experience was our road-trip to downtown Washington, D.C., where we fed the homeless and talked with people on the sidewalks of Georgetown about Christ. It was one of the most terrifying and uplifting experiences I had as a newer believer. I remember my hesitancy, but knowing that what we were doing was right.

It was the prayer and encouragements of those in my small group that help me and everyone else to step out of our comfort zones. As a result, I encountered Jesus through our serving (Matthew 25:40). I saw God break-through to a seeking heart that received the Gospel despite the mocking of his friends. Community brought me to places where I saw God at work. Places I would never have visited if it weren’t for the fellowship of others in Christ.

Small groups may not always seem glorious from the outside looking in, but somehow God used that community of young believers to turn me inside-out for His glory. I fell in love with small groups early on because they helped me fall in love with God, His Word, and the communion of saints that enabled me to be Jesus to those who were in search of Him.

Have you ever been a part of a community that stretched and shook you?

Are you willing to do whatever it takes to have that healthy community?

 

Leading with integrity

March 21, 2011 / / 3 Comments
It doesn’t matter where you are, what you’re doing, or how you’re wired…you can lead with integrity.

It’s easy to get frustrated in your work because

  • you’re not working where you want to be working
  • you’re not making the money you want to be making
  • you’re not making the difference you want to be making
  • you are in a dead-end job
  • your boss is tough to work for
  • you’re not maximizing your strengths
  • you work behind a desk
  • you work outside in the elements
  • you have to answer too many emails
  • you’re given too much structure
  • you aren’t given any structure
  • you have too much on your plate
  • you have too little on your plate

And maybe those are all things that you need to work on changing.  Maybe you should change positions.  Or careers.  Or cities.  But one fact remains.

You can always lead with integrity.

Joseph did.

  • Potiphar, the captain of Pharaoh’s guard, left all that he owned in Joseph’s care because he trusted Joseph. (Genesis 39: 3-6)
  • Potiphar’s wife tempted Joseph to sleep with her…Joseph chose to run away.  (Genesis 39:6-12)  That takes some character.
  • Joseph led and influenced while he was in prison (though he was unjustly accused and prosecuted), gaining the favor and trust of the keeper of the prison. (Genesis 39:19-23)
  • When he was finally released from prison, he didn’t choose bitterness, but trusted God and spoke the truth to Pharaoh. Pharaoh said of Joseph: “Can we find a man like this, in whom is the Spirit of God?”  That’s leading with integrity.
  • Joseph fairly sold food to the Egyptians during the famine.  Integret-ous?  Yeppers.

Was Joseph treated fairly?  Did he have a loving boss?  Was he consistently working in an optimum working environment?  Was he always able to maximize his strengths?

Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope.

But he led with integrity.  Always.

And so can you.

Integrity isn’t based on your circumstances.  It’s rooted in your heart.

Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for human masters (Colossians 3:23)

 

How to get your inbox to Zero in 1 click

March 21, 2011 / / 3 Comments

Michael Hyatt has some great suggestions for staying on top of your email HERE.

But personally, my way is much faster, cleaner, and lets you get on with the rest of your day before 8:05.

How to get your email inbox to zero in 1 click:

 

The new social media

March 18, 2011 / / 4 Comments
This is a guest post by Jeremy Chandler, social media director at Souls 4 Souls, a charity that collects shoes and distributes them around the world.  Jeremy is all over Twitter and Facebook.

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Let’s go back a few years to when you first started noticing the potential social media could have (circa 2006). Back to the days when the idea of creating a community of friends in a digital world excited you.  Remember the days you actually had to ask someone if they were on Facebook?

 

Social Media not only connected us with friends from high school and new acquaintances, but people around the world who shared our same interests. It was a new and easy way for us to bond together for something greater than ourselves. With social media, we had the power of a new collaborative technology to impact the world in a way we never had before. People were joining together on sites like Facebook Causes to partner together to make a greater impact in the world. And it was awesome.

 

Since then, there’s been a shift of sorts in the fundamental thinking about social media. As more and more people are getting into it, the less “social” it is becoming. Over time, the chance to become a social media rock star has captivated our focus & intentions. It’s become more about the “me” than about the “we”.

The problem is that we’ve forgotten what made these elements so intriguing in the first place.

 

Think about it this way, when someone gives you a compliment in front of their friends in person, you don’t repeat what they just said about you or pull them off to the side & whisper thanks in their ear. Yet, in social media, we are quick to retweet nice words someone has said about us or send them a direct message saying thanks. I’m just as guilty as the next guy.

When we stop being social, we lose what this new media is all about. We’ve forfeited an opportunity to make a real difference in the world.

There is still hope. Jon Acuff has worked hard to develop his platform, but decided to use it to make a tangible difference in the lives of kids in India & Africa. TwitChange is an organization that is leveraging the fame celebrity twitter accounts have accrued to help nonprofits increase their impact.

So what does this mean for us? As social media continues to develop, no matter if its Facebook or Twitter or Quora, may we never forget the reason social media became so popular in the first place, and carefully guard against forfeiting something bigger than ourselves to make our name big.

What advice do you have about guarding yourself from social “ME”dia?

Have you seen how social media has become all about “Me”?

 

Blogging’s not cool anymore

March 17, 2011 / / 8 Comments

Blogging isn’t cool anymore.

There, I said it.

It seems that almost every person on the planet can say either, “I have a blog…” or, “I used to have a blog…”

You used to be cutting edge if you had a blog, back when the first ones launched in 1999.  Now, in 2011, bloggers are a dime a dozen.

And there are so many mediocre blogs out there that if yours doesn’t significantly stand out, you’ll get lost among the noise.  Here’s what I mean:

There’s no guarantee today that if you start a blog, it’ll become successful.

There’s no guarantee today that if you have a blog, it’ll continue to be successful.

And though this may frustrate you, it thrills me.  It drives me to work harder, faster, more creatively, and more passionately.  Creating art that is relevant, helpful, and sharable is difficult, given the level of noise that social media is creating in our world.  But the product that successful bloggers are creating is getting better and better.

In the long run, the fact that blogging is difficult will make you a better writer, communicator, and artists (assuming you stick with it).  And it will force better artists to step up and continue to create better art.  And in the long run, the number of active blogs may decrease.  And that competition is good for the system.

People aren’t just clicking on blogs anymore.  They’ve got to have a reason.

What reason(s) are you giving them?

Why should someone read and subscribe to your blog?

 

Markers

March 15, 2011 / / 4 Comments
This is a guest post by Greg Bowman (on Twitter & Facebook) lives in Elgin, Illinois, where he is on staff with West Ridge Community Church as the Pastor of Spiritual Formation. He is co-author of Coaching Life-Changing Small Group Leaders and co-founder of the Communitas Network.  This is a series of posts where small group experts share how group life has impacted them personally.  The entire series can be found HERE.

 

For more than 30 years I’ve been a fan, student, proponent, leader and practitioner of group life. Dozens of significant mile markers stand out in my journey, but none more than the first time I felt genuine love and the invitation to be vulnerable and open in community.

I was the group’s pastor, and our group life ministry was in its infancy. We were in the honeymoon phase where everything was wonderful. We couldn’t even spell the word conflict in our groups.

In the church a series of events had led to the dismissal of a much loved staff member. The rumor mill was working overtime and people were hurting. An emergency leadership meeting forced a hard call–I needed to miss our life group on Monday night in order to attend.

Unfortunately, yet predictably, the church-wide pain spilled into the group that night. The lesson topic for the night was set aside and the group spent the evening questioning the wisdom of the church’s. At least that was my take on what happened when my wife filled me in later.

I spent the following week preparing to rescue the group from the conflict at the next meeting. I had it a great discussion scripted out. But it didn’t quite go as I planned.

After the usual coffee and snacks we gathered in the living room. I opened brilliantly. “So I am aware of the discussion last week, and I’m glad for the openness and honesty we feel as a group. I’m just wondering how is everyone doing this week?” There. It’s out in the open.

What happened next is what blew me away. From across the room one of the group members looked me in the eye and said, “We’ve all been in conversation with each other this week, Greg. We’re all fine. We support the leadership and we understand the decision. But knowing what you have been through, our question is, how are you?”

I was completely caught off guard. It was a level of maturity and care beyond what I was expecting from the group. Instantly I broke. To be honest, in the three months of conflict I had been through no one had cared enough to ask me that question. And so we processed my pain as a group. And then they put me in the center, laid hands on me and prayed.

That moment marked me. I realized that I could no longer simply teach community, or lead community in the local church. From a leadership perspective that’s inauthentic. From a personal perspective it’s not how I want to do the rest of my life. I want and need to do my life connected deeply to people who are authentic with their struggles and successes and who are open to share life in the context of community.

What experiences have marked you deeply in community? Helped form your core values?


 

Saying the right thing

March 14, 2011 / / 20 Comments

Confession: I’m no grammarian.  And I’m no grammar police.

Seriously, I corrected someone once, and it was at that point that I realized that nobody likes their grammar corrected right there on the spot.  Nobody.

But there are certain things that, when I hear them, I want to correct them.  In the moment, I tell myself, “Don’t be a nerd.  Don’t be that guy.  It’s not worth it.”  So indulge me, for just a minute.  Maybe you’ve heard some of these.  Maybe you’ve uttered them.

Misspoken words & phrases

  • It may be the fastest way to get your caffeine, but it’s not expresso. It’s espresso.
  • The phrase isn’t “flush out an idea.” It’s “flesh out an idea.”  Unless, of course, it’s a bad idea…and you can flush those down the tube.
  • Feeling trapped?  You’ll never be able to “exscape,” because that’s not a word. However, you may be able to “escape.”
  • “I could care less.” Yes, you probably could.  And you’d probably get to where you “couldn’t care less.”
  • You can’t walk “acrossed” the parking lot. You walk “across” it.  Or you have “crossed” it.
  • There is no such thing as a Chester drawer. Many companies produce “chest of drawers,” though.
  • “For all intents and purposes,” you should never say, “For all intensive purposes,” unless you’re trying to illustrate a point of what not to say.
  • Supposedly never, ever has a “b” in it (ala, “supposebly”).
  • The word nuclear only has one “u.” It never has two.  Even if you’re my 7th grade science teacher (seriously, she said “nucular” every single time)
  • You can be  doing “especially” well, or offering “exceptional” service, but it’s just not possible to be “exspecially” happy about things.
  • Ever said “a-whole-nother”? All you’re doing is splitting “another” apart by adding an entire word in the middle.  Don’t do it.  Don’t make “a-whole-nother” word like that.

What phrases bother you?

Are you the “grammar” police?  Say it ain’t so!

 

I hate…

March 13, 2011 / / 10 Comments

I hate…

…when I fart, thinking I’m all alone, then someone walks up to talk with me. (ok, come on…you know you do it)

…when I can’t find something I know is right beside me

…when I’m dead tired, but have to stay awake

…working inside on beautiful days

…”Say Yes to the Dress”

…sparkling water

…being late

…lima beans

…sitting still

A little heavier

I hate…

…that “church people” are often the reason that the unchurched don’t attend.

…to see fathers not engaged with their children.

…to see husbands not treating their wife like their princess

…to see people who are paralyzed by their fears.

…when people won’t accept grace, but live in guilt and shame.

…that some moms have to raise their children alone.

…injustice.

…that the Church isn’t a healthier community.

…to see people making bad choices after bad choices.

What do you hate?

 

It’s time to run

March 12, 2011 / / 4 Comments

There was an AA meeting going on at this church building. And I saw this truck parked there.


Paul urges us to put “off” our sin, and put something “on” in its place (Ephesians 4:22-32).  So if you struggle with lying, you should consciously start going out of your way to share the truth.  If you struggle with anger, go out of your way to seek reconciliation.  If you struggle with stealing, you should consciously “put on” honest work and generosity.  If you struggle with a loose, corrupting vocabulary, you should “put on” words that give grace to others.

If you struggle with alcoholism, maybe it’s time to find an occupation that doesn’t feed that temptation.*

There’s a time to stick it out and work through your sins and weaknesses.  But there’s also a time to run.

Look carefully then how you walk, not as unwise but as wise… (Ephesians 5:15)

Have you ever had to quit a job because it tempted you to dishonor God?

Have you ever been in a situation where you should’ve run, but decided to stay?

* This is not a statement against AA, or against drinking alcohol.  I’m simply urging cautious wisdom, and learning how to do battle against our sin natures.

 

 
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