Even if you’re not versed on the language of the Myers-Briggs test, you know what the first letter means.
On the test, your first letter is either an “E” (for extroverted) or an “I” (for introverted). Even without taking the test, you probably know where you would land.
I’m an “E.”
But that “E” isn’t incredibly strong. I always test as an “E,” but am not far from testing as an “I” (for introverted). If extreme “I” were on one side of a scale and extreme “E” on the other, I’d lean about 60% towards “E.” Which means one of two things:
1. I’m weird. Which is entirely possible.
2. I can identify with both introverts and extroverts.
Small group life presents its challenges to both sides of the scale. But it’s not equally challenging to both groups at every stage of group life. So I’ll lay a group life into 3 stages: Beginning, Middle, and End. In this post, I’ll talk about what group life looks like for an extrovert and an introvert as the group launches. While these descriptions may not be 100% on point for you, look for similar challenges you’ve faced.
The Beginning of a Small Group:
Extroverts find great comfort in meeting new people as the group launches. They easily forge relationships with people they didn’t know, and can quickly become the “life” of the group. It feels natural for them to step into unknown environments, even if they’re not fully bought into the whole system (of building relationships for the purpose of taking steps of faith together).
A word of caution to the extroverts: Just because everybody’s not comfortable right off the bat (like you are) in this environment doesn’t mean that they’re not glad to be there. They just need time to acclimate. Give them that freedom.
Introverts find it difficult to step into a room full of people that they don’t know. Instead of feeling at ease around lots of new faces, they feel intimidated and closed off in this unknown environment. Instead of jumping right into all of these new conversations, they’d rather sit by themselves, or with the one or two people they know in the group. Not because they don’t like people. They just don’t find strength in mingling with lots of people, which makes the beginning of the life of a small group rather difficult.
A word of caution to the introverts: Don’t write off those folks who seem to only be worried about surface-level conversations and interactions. Your comfort zone is likely having a few truly meaningful conversations…that’s likely not their comfort zone.
Remember, this isn’t a “right” or “wrong” thing. You haven’t committed some sin that causes you to be introverted or extroverted. It’s just how God wired you. Don’t feel like you have to be something you’re not…be who God created you to be. But know the challenges that you (and your brothers and sisters in Christ) are facing.
Next time, I’ll talk about what the middle phase of group life looks like for introverts and extroverts. Don’t miss it!
Are you introverted or extroverted?
