Have you ever read the childrens book, Where the Wild Things Are? I loved that book when I was a kid! I recently heard about the movie that’s coming out this Fall (update: Released October, 2009), and I’m already getting excited about it. I’ve posted the trailer below, but thought I’d give a few thoughts on the book first.

I never realized how weird the book is. Honestly, it’s a bit strange on first reading. If you haven’t read it in a while, here’s a video of a reading of Where the Wild Things Are:

Here is my take from the book.

The pros:

1. It paints quite an accurate picture of the mind of boys. Boys long for adventure. They long for something bigger than themselves. Max’s imagination runs wild as he sails across the sea, meets monsters, and rules over these mean, dangerous beasts. What boy doesn’t want to rule over dangerous creatures? Boys don’t want to be subdued by them!

2. The book shows that there is punishment for misbehavior. However you choose to discipline your children, you must discipline them!

3. Max’s parents show him love when they put a hot plate of food in his room. Discipline must be followed up by love (though I would argue that discipline is a loving act, I’ll do that in another post). At the time that I am writing this post, my son is almost 6 months old. He would not quite understand discipline yet. However, when he does, rest assured that we will discipline him. Each and every time we discipline him, though, we will end with hugging him and affirming our love for him. We never want him to equate discipline with only punishment. We discipline because we love, and want him to be 100% certain that we love him even though discipline is painful.

4. The artwork is fantastic. This is one thing that I loved when I was a child, and continue to appreciate today. There are many pages of monsters romping through the forest (Ok, I know…even as I write this, I feel silly talking about how I like to see monsters romping through the forest, but hang with me…), who, though they’re monsters, aren’t overly scary for children. The unique artwork is definitely a strength of the book.

The cautions:

1. First of all, be careful what you allow your children to read. Introduce material to your children with caution. Just because a book, or a movie, or a TV show, is for “children” does not mean that it’s appropriate for your child. Be discerning when it comes to stories you share with your children.

2. Is withholding food from your children the best form of punishment? I’m just saying…

3. I know that this may be a stretch, but we never see Max’s parents explain to him why he was punished, or why they gave in after some time. It’s important that children fully understand why they are being disciplined, both before and after. Max showed a heart of rebellion and pride, both in the home and in his imagination. He is disciplined because of this, but it’s important for him to understand why this is a problem, that his parents are the ones with the authority (though not in a smothering, exasperating kind of way (Ephesians 6:4)), and that his words and actions reveal deeper problems (Luke 6:45 says, “Out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.”).

4. Max is never required to obey. His parents give in after a while (they really have to give in, so that Max eats, which furthers my point…is withholding food the best form of punishment, especially if you have to give in?). Max does not obey, yet the punishment eases. Is that how real life works? If you steal money at work, and are punished for it, does the punishment simply go away after a short period of time? No! There are steps of reconciliation you must make. Proverbs 29:15 tells us, “A child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother.” Does Max truly regret rebelling against his parent’s authority?

In conclusion, I recommend reading the book, and doing so with discernment. It is a fun read for your children, and a good way to talk about deeper life issues.

Here’s the trailer for the new movie:

Have you seen the movie?  What do you think?

 

I posted some “Grandpa-isms” last week here. One of my favorites is, “There are 4 P’s that I do for my family: provide, procreate, protect…and make memories.” I have had many laughs as I try to figure out why he continues to call them the 4 P’s. However, I think that the final one, making memories, is an important piece for dads.

I have lots of memories from childhood. Things that will stick with me forever. I still remember Mom and Dad picking me up from school and taking me and my brother to the Smoky Mountains for the weekend. Or spending every Christmas Eve with my whole family at my aunt and uncle’s house eating lasagna. Or throwing the baseball with my dad for hours on end until my arm felt like it was going to fall off. Or my dad teaching how to swing a golf club with an old cut-off, duck-taped driver he constructed for me. Or having to go to sleep early the night before a big trip to Florida so that we could wake up and get on the road before God turned the lights on, only to have to change a tire that exploded while we were pumping it up after the sun rose. These were wonderful family-building times, and memories that I cherish dearly.

I want to make memories that Rex will cherish. I want him to look back on his childhood and have fond memories of the things we did as a family. I don’t want us to be a family who is so tied up with work and ministry that we don’t carve out time daily, and extended time regularly, to be with each other. I don’t have a naive view of life that says that everything will be rosy. But I’m confident that if I invest time in my son and “bring him up in the training and instruction of the Lord,” not “exasperating him,” and work to love him, be patient with him, and encourage him daily, the Lord will shape him into a godly man. I don’t have that hope because I’m some kind of super dad. Instead, I have that hope because I serve a God who changes hearts (Ezekiel 36:26), who loves despite our failings, and ultimately works all things for our redemption (Romans 8:28-29).

 

One year ago today, I shared with the GCC staff that my wife and I were pregnant with our first child. I remember this exact day because it was April Fool’s day, and there were some who thought I was playing a mean joke on them. Well, turns out I wasn’t. Now, one year later, I have a 5 month old son, Rex, of whom I am incredibly proud. This last year has been unbelievable, experiencing 8 months of pregnancy with my wife (well, I can’t take much credit for that, but thought I’d throw that in there), paying hospitals and doctors SO much money, going through the stressful event of my son 4 weeks before his due date, then having to have surgery before he was 3 months old, finding out what it means to be a parent and not get more than 3 hours of sleep per night for months on end, experiencing joy like nothing else at coming home and having my son smile at me, and falling in love with my wife all over again as I see her growing into a God-honoring mother.

I can’t wait to see what the future holds for our family. I’m confident, though, that if we continue to fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and founder of our faith, God will work all things for our good (Hebrews 12:2, Romans 8:28-29). My prayer is that our marriage and parenting might point others to the life-transforming power and love of the Gospel.

Rex cheering for the greatest college, UT!

Rex and his friend, Story Vaden, hanging out

 

I obviously believe in the value of community (my work at Grace centers on community groups).  In fact, I think it’s absolutely essential to living life.  We were created to be dependent on each other, and when we aren’t, there’s something that’s missing.  God lives life in community (that whole Trinity thing), and expects that the community that we have with Him we would also have with others.  We were never created to live life alone.  Which is why I am writing you this blog today.

We need you all right now.  Rex, our 11-week old son, is having surgery tomorrow (Tuesday, January 13th).  It’s ‘routine,’ so we’re told, but nothing is really routine when it comes to sending your child in for surgery.  He has an inguinal hernia that has to be repaired.  It’s only on one side, but they’ll scope the other side to make sure it’s not about to do the same thing.   We’re also told that it’s ‘normal’ (though that word doesn’t offer a lot of consolation right now).  It’s more common in boys than in girls, on the left side than the right, and is more common in premature babies (Rex was born 4 weeks early).  We would greatly appreciate your thoughts and prayers, because even though this is ‘normal’ and ‘routine’ it’s still stressful.  The main cause for concern with the doctors is the anesthesia.  Babies who were born prematurely are at an increased risk of apnea, which is why they’re keeping us one extra day.

We trust deeply in the sovereignty of God.  We know that Rex’s life is in His hands, and I don’t mean that in a trite kind of way.  We trust that Christ upholds the universe (Hebrews 1:3) and that, in Him, all things hold together (Colossians 1:17).  Please pray that we would find hope, comfort, and rest in our Savior, that we would remain steadfast in our faith, as He has remained steadfast to us, and that we might see His mighty hand woven throughout this whole process.

Thank you in advance for your prayers of support.

 

Should we plan for the future? It seems that the Israelites did:

Deuteronomy 6:20-21, “In the future, when your son asks you, ‘What is the meaning of the stipulations, decrees and laws the LORD our God has commanded you?’ tell him: ‘We were slaves of Pharaoh in Egypt, but the LORD brought us out of Egypt with a mighty hand.’”

There was the assumption that children would ask their parents in the future, thus the need for planning. That verse strikes me especially sharply now that I’m a father. I want to be prepared to answer the questions of life that my son will ask. I want to be able to point him to the Scriptures as the source for life. I want my answers to always paint a picture of the big God that we serve. I don’t want to answer the question, “Why are you disciplining me?” with “Because I said so.” Rather, I want to point my son back to the biblical responsibility I have as a parent to honor God and love him (my son). See Hebrews 12:7-11. I have a mere 18 years with my son at home to influence him and point him to the gospel. I want to take full advantage of every opportunity to weave in the grand news of God’s offer of salvation.

How might I do that? Here’s where my plan starts (I’ll be using the RSS feed). What’s your plan for answering the spiritual questions your children will (or are) going to ask in 2009?

 

I was reminded over Thanksgiving of the fact that I was created for community.  We all have heard that “it’s not Thanksgiving without the _______,” right?  Fill that blank in with Turkey, dressing, cranberries, or punkin’ pie, and you have the typical answer given in response to the essential component of Thanksgiving.  But I was reminded of the more cohesive component, that of family (which takes on a whole new meaning for me now that I’m a dad).

No longer did I wait in eager anticipation for the pineapple and cheese concoction that my mom makes (which, by the way, is awesome!).  I eagerly awaited the arrival of my brother and his wife, my parents, and all of my in-laws.  Everybody came to our house this year, and it was beautiful.  The food was great, but sharing it with those I love was even greater.  There’s something inside of me that longs to live life in community with others.  Food may enhance that, but it can’t replace it.

I was talking with a guy in the hallway at church yesterday, and he told me that his plan was to eat Thanksgiving dinner alone, but at the last minute, a friend invited him to share dinner with their family.  His eyes lit up when he told me about being invited to their home and not having to do Thanksgiving alone.

I believe that our dissatisfaction in living life alone was woven into our souls by God.  Look at God’s words to Adam in Genesis 2:18: “Then the LORD God said, “It is not good that the man should be alone.”  Adam wasn’t created to be his own friend!  There was something out of whack when it was just Adam and the animals.  He, just like us, was created to live life in relationships with other people.  There’s something wrong when we find ourselves isolated and self-sufficient, and something about the holiday season brings this God-given need to the surface.  We were created to depend on others.

I keep coming back to this in my thoughts and in my blogs, but I really want my son to catch the value of traditions.  I hope and pray that our Thanksgiving traditions ring the bell of truth that God created us to be dependent on Him and dependent on others.

 

What are your Christmas traditions?  I’ve been thinking about what my family’s will be now that we’ve added one more (I had a son about a month ago).  As a Christian father, I long to pass on the faith to my son, and the story of Christmas is the story of faith.  Although change is often a much-needed breath of fresh air, traditions can and should be valued, and I want to craft traditions that help me, my wife, and my son, remember well the great story of Christ’s coming to earth in the form of a man (incarnation).  Is the answer found in painting a picture of a fat man in a red suit that flies across the whole earth and climbs through chimneys and gives kids what they want?  Is that what most honors God?  I’m not necessarily opposed to Santa Claus, but it seems to fall well short of the beauty of Christmas that God intended in the gospels.

I want our family’s traditions to make sense.  I expect a host of questions from my son.  “Why do we put up a Christmas tree?”  “Why do we put ornaments on it?”  “Why do we hang garland?”  “Why do we give gifts?”  “Why do we put fake candles in the windows?”  I’d like to give a more helpful response than, “Because that’s how we did it when I was a child.”  Traditions serve to help us remember.  Exodus 12:26-27 says, “And when your children say to you, ‘What do you mean by this service?’ you shall say, ‘It is the sacrifice of the Lord’s Passover, for he passed over the houses of the people of Israel in Egypt, when he struck the Egyptians but spared our houses.’”

I am feeling the weight of wanting my family to exalt Christ at Christmas.  I want my traditions to help us achieve this goal.  What kinds of traditions do you and your family do year after year?  Are they helping you to remember the great story of God’s redemption?

Check out this video, and be challenged.

 

My wife and I just found out that we’re having a son!  I’m still in a state of awe.  Sometimes, I just walk around with a smile on my face for a while before I even realize I’m smiling.  It’s hard for me to believe that I’m having a son.  This new season of my life has been filled with a myriad of emotions, from excited to overwhelmed, from nervous to overjoyed, from awe-struck to helpless.  I’ve been scared, proud, and everything in between.  Sometimes I feel pretty big (“I’m having a son!”), and sometimes pretty small (“This whole birth thing is way beyond me, out of my control.”) I have not even seen my son (well, sort of, through the ultrasound) and yet I have this deep love for him that goes beyond words.  How?  How could I love a person, that I’ve never seen, so much?

I’ll write more thoughts as I have them.  For now, I’m kind of speechless.  Here are a couple of books I’m reading that, hopefully, will help me to parent my children in a God-honoring way:

Shepherding a Child’s Heart by Ted Tripp

Withhold Not Correction by Bruce Ray

The Bible by God

Have you read any other books that are helpful?  I’m open to suggestions.  I want to read stuff that helps me understand how to glorify God in my parenting.  My goal in life is to glorify God in all that I do (1 Corinthians 10:31), and parenting is what’s on the docket for me.