I noted a few things HERE that we can rightly say our circumstances are not.  Today, let’s look at a few things our circumstances are.

When “life” happens, remember

1. Circumstances give you a chance to slow down. Moving through life at blazing speeds is something that most of us do well.  When trials happen, you’re forced to slow down, and given the chance to evaluate things.  Use that time wisely!

2. God is in control of all things. Even when everything seems to fall apart, reminding yourself that God is ultimately in control is a great source of hope. (Ecclesiastes 7:14; John 10:27-29; Colossians 1:17)

3. You need others to help you discern the hand of God. We gravitate to quick, rash decisions…and paralyzation, waiting forever before doing anything.  But it is within the counsel of other godly men and women that wisdom is found. (Proverbs 13:20; Proverbs 15:22)  Others who love you, have your best interest at heart, and are committed to helping you grow rightly give counsel to help you see where God’s working.  (see my related posts on the value of small groups HERE)

4. Circumstances don’t control the outcome of your life. Your relationship with God does.  If they begin to control your life, it’s because you’ve given them that power, because Christ is greater than he who is in the world.  (1 John 4:4)

This is what the Lord says:
Cursed are those who put their trust in mere humans,
who rely on human strength
and turn their hearts away from the Lord .
They are like stunted shrubs in the desert,
with no hope for the future.
They will live in the barren wilderness,
in an uninhabited salty land.

But blessed are those who trust in the Lord
and have made the Lord their hope and confidence.
They are like trees planted along a riverbank,
with roots that reach deep into the water.
Such trees are not bothered by the heat
or worried by long months of drought.
Their leaves stay green,
and they never stop producing fruit. -Jeremiah 17:5-8

Ever felt like you were controlled by your circumstances?

Ever worked through the difficulties and found God at work the whole time?

Today marks 2 years for my blog!

If you’ve just gotten on board, welcome!  Here’s a snapshot of what goes on here at Life and Theology:

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Would you ever ban somebody from being a part of your small group?

That question has been going through my mind after I read an article about some  American pastors who went to Uganda to speak against homosexuality.  They preached in support of a bill that

…creates a new category of crime called “Aggravated Homosexuality,” which calls for death by hanging for gays or lesbians who have sex with anyone under 18 and for so-called “serial offenders.”

The bill also calls for seven years in prison for “attempt to commit homosexuality,” five years for landlords who knowingly house gays, three years for anyone, including parents, who fail to hand gay children over to the police within 24 hours and the extradition of gay Ugandans living abroad.   ABC News article

So these American pastors are encouraging people to hunt down homosexuals because homosexuality is wrong and destroys the family.  They have also met with the Ugandan government and preached their message to them.

Is this the way the church should treat lost and broken people?

NO!

Even if you agree that homosexuality is a sin, and destroys the family, inciting a manhunt is not what God would have us do.

Here are a couple of tips on dealing with the lost and broken when they’re in our small group.  Though the sin of homosexuality may make you uncomfortable to talk about, I encourage you, for the sake of those who need your grace and love, to consider the following:

1. Remember that Christ didn’t die for you because you were good. He died for you while you were still his enemy.

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:6-8

2. Remember that sanctification doesn’t happen overnight.  It’s a process. And processes take a lot of time to finish.  In fact, the process of sanctification won’t be complete in this lifetime.

3. Remember that God hates your sin. He hates it so much that He would deny you a relationship with Him, if it weren’t for Christ.

4. Listen. People appreciate when you ask them to share their story.  But they feel loved and valued when you actually listen and engage them while they’re sharing.

5. Speak the truth in love. Speaking the truth is good.  But truth without love is abrasive.  And hurtful.  And unhelpful.  It doesn’t have the other’s best interest at heart.  It’s self-serving and self-focused.  It’s un-Godlike.

6. Be open and honest about your own struggles. This helps you to fight against pride, and makes others feel more comfortable in being honest about their struggles.

7. Invite an open dialog. Instead of condemning the lost and broken, ask if they’d be open to thinking through what the Bible has to say.  And don’t let the conversation drift into a discussion that slams one sin, and minimizes another.  It’s easy to condemn the sins that we don’t struggle with.  It makes us feel better about the sins we constantly have to battle. Don’t fall into that trap.

8. Be quick to forgive. Those quick to forgive understand the true nature of their sin against God.  Those not quick to forgive don’t truly understand the nature of their own sin, and the loving mercy of God.

9. Offer prayer and further pastoral care and counseling to those open to it.

Notice that I didn’t say, “Ask them to leave.”  OR, “Point out every passage in the Bible that condemns their sin.”  OR, “Petition the government to hang them.” (see article above that does just that)

Those who are broken and lost don’t need our heaping condemnation.  They need our pursuing, relentless love. Jesus, to an adulterous woman, said these words:

At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?”

“No one, sir,” she said.
“Then neither do I condemn you,” Jesus declared. “Go now and leave your life of sin.”John 8:9-11

A sin is a sin, no matter how small.

Do you treat some sins as worse (in God’s eyes) than others?

I recently wrote a sports editorial piece for a local paper here in middle Tennessee, the I-24 Exchange.  For your convenience, I thought I’d re-post it here on my blog, though you can also find it HERE.  Keep in mind…this was written last Thursday, before the news of Tiger’s indefinite leave from the game of golf.

Tiger Shanks it in the Woods

Unless you live in a hole, you’ve heard the news about “the greatest golfer of all time.”  Tiger Woods was taken to the hospital for an accident he had in his SUV just outside of his Ocoee, FL, home, at 2:25 AM on Friday, December 2^nd (momma always said that nothing good happens after midnight).

It was suspected that Tiger was driving under the influence that night.  Rumors of marital troubles between he and his wife, Elin, only led to confirmation of years of infidelity on Tiger’s part. Elin, at this point seems to be sticking around…for the kids.  His sponsors are sticking with him (though who knows for how long).

Tiger’s life is spinning out of control.  To say that more accurately, Tiger’s life has already spun out of control.  He’s reaping the fruit of years of poor decisions.

Why are we as a society drawn to stories where people’s lives seem to be spiraling into an absolute dumpster fire?  Maybe it helps us to feel better about our own life. Maybe we see ourselves somewhere in the story.  Maybe it’s because we have a morbid fascination with the failure of others. Maybe we’re just thankful it’s not us.

Tiger messed up.  But so have I.  And so have you.  None of us have lived a life immune from bad decisions and moral failures.  Tiger, on his website, says, “I have not been true to my values and the behavior my family deserves. I am not without faults and I am far short of perfect.”  You may, or may not, have cheated on your spouse, but you’re not perfect either.  I’d venture to guess that, at least one point in your life, you’ve been in need of someone’s forgiveness.  You were guilty, and there was no denying it.

There’s hardly a greater feeling in life than being forgiven.  To be granted a fresh start.  To have your slate wiped clean.   It’s as if a heavy, unbearable burden has been lifted off of you.

Is Tiger’s career over?  Is he going to be counted as “the greatest golfer of all time?”  Or has this exposure marred his fame and fortune forever?  Only time can tell.

But instead of our eyes and hearts that are quick to judge, and quick to thirst for more and more dirt, maybe we would be better off extending grace and forgiveness.  Tiger doesn’t deserve that.  But by very definition grace is not deserved.  It is not earned.  It’s granted by the one who has been wronged.

I vote to give him a second chance.  And I’m thankful that others have done the same for me.

Why can a person read 2,444 pages of the Twilight Saga but barely find 10 minutes to read their Bible?

I ask difficult questions.  Not difficult in that you couldn’t follow along because they’re intellectually difficult, but difficult in the sense that they’re not surface-level, “easy” questions.

I was talking with a person recently, asking them about how they’re doing spending time reading their Bible (because I’m convinced that if a person’s not reading their Bible consistently, they’re not growing consistently).

Them: I’m just not a reader.

Me: I don’t buy that.

Them: I just don’t like to read.

Me: How many pages are in Twilight?

Them: I don’t know…probably over 1,000.

Me: How long did it take you to read that?

Them: Less than a week.

Me: …

You make time for what matters most to you.  Not sure where to start with the Bible?  Here’s a reading plan for you.

I rode bikes a fair amount in college.  I was into mountain biking for a while, but I was going to school in west Tennessee, the flattest part of the state.  Not a ton of mountains out there.  So I traded the mountain bike in for a road bike.  I rode some with my roommate, but also a lot by myself.  I would say, “I love just getting out there and riding, by myself or with someone else.”  I must not have liked it that much, because after college, I pretty much gave up biking

In the last couple of months, I’ve picked it back up.  I ride three times/week.  Twice it’s a shorter sprint, and once/week is a long ride.  I’m loving it!  And I’m sticking with it.  Why?

I experience community when I ride my bike.

You see, I don’t ride alone.  I ride with three  guys from my community group, one of their sons, and my uncle.  Somehow, in riding 30 miles with people, life happens.  Significant conversations happen.  The distractions of normal life are stripped away, and riding through the country opens up the heart.  I’ve built great relationships with these guys, and I look forward to our rides together.

Biking alone is ok, but I get tired more quickly, I don’t have the motivation to keep going, I don’t have the motivation to get up early and push myself, I get bored, and I end up going shorter distances, quitting earlier than I intended.  When I bike with the guys, I am encouraged to get up early, to keep riding, to push myself even harder, and to finish the ride.

That’s what authentic, God-honoring community does.

And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.  -1 Thessalonians 5:14

Whether you like golf or not, Phil Mickelson is a likable kind of guy.  I love how he’s willing to take the risky shot from behind a tree that everybody else would be afraid to take.  He’s not scared to fire a 4-iron at a pin that’s tucked into the back corner of a green guarded by bunkers and water.  Instead of playing it safe, he’ll flop a wedge from a buried lie in the trap to a pin position that’s running away from him on a green that is slicker than putting in your bathtub.  Though it is that same “grip it and rip it” attitude that costs him championship titles, you’ve got to love his win-at-all-costs attitude.

What I also respect about Phil is his devotion to his family off of the course.  I remember the 1999 US Open.  His wife, Amy, was pregnant and was due any day.  He was fighting for the lead (and this would be his first Major win, so this tournament was really important to him) with Payne Stewart, but the tournament wasn’t of first importance.  Of first importance was his wife and soon-to-be-born daughter.  So he carried a pager with him all week, ready to walk off the course the instant he received the page from his wife.

Now, nearly 10 years later, Amy has been diagnosed with breast cancer.  So what is Phil to do?  Continue traveling with the PGA tour?  Pour more and more hours into his job to avoid the difficulties of home?  No.  Phil is taking time off to be with his wife and family (granted, Phil has more money than most, and so has the freedom to take time off and still financially survive).  To me, that’s a noble move.

Phil has put his reputation on the line in order to make his family more important than his job.  Investing in his family is more important than getting that next big win.

Maybe we husbands could learn something from Phil.  Lets evaluate what is of utmost importance to us.  Is it our job?  Our reputation?  That next “big win”?  Or is it our family?

Here’s a tribute to one of the craziest shots I ever saw Phil make.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PslA4WcSos&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en&feature=player_embedded&fs=1]

Josh Patterson is one of the pastors at The Village Church in Dallas, TX, and writes for their blog.  I love what he has said concerning the passing of Michael Jackson.  His response reflects a Biblical worldview.  I thought I’d share it with you.

I have tried to “moonwalk” a thousand times. I used to think the “Thriller” video was the coolest thing ever…and a little scary. I might have owned a red leather jacket with a bunch of zippers. In the third grade, I performed a moving rendition of “Beat it” for the school talent show and brought the house down. “Billie Jean” still has the most memorable beat to start a song and the sure fast way to get a party started. I really did think Michael Jackson was “Bad” and a “Smooth Criminal.” You know you cried the first time you realized it really did start with the “Man in the Mirror” and “We are the World.” If ever we saw an icon fall from grace, it was Michael Jackson.

He was a man who was never comfortable in his skin. He always wanted to be something other than he was. Money afforded him the opportunity to chase a thousand fantasies from morphing his image (literally) to building Neverland. It the end, he was a sad commentary on the truths found in the book of Ecclesiastes. Vanity of vanity…life is all vanity. The pursuit of wisdom, riches, fame, fortune, safety, security, simplicity, chastity, fidelity, friendship or solitude is all a vain pursuit. Death is the great equalizer. Christ is the great hope.

Laura and I celebrated our 5 year anniversary together this weekend.  Wow, how time flies!  Here are some things we’ve done that I would consider significant, in random order:

1. Moved five times.

2. Finished graduate school.

3. Bought a car and a truck.

4. Bought a house.

5. Bought a dog.

6. Had a child.

7. Led a small group

8. Learned how to love each other.

9. Laughed together.

10. Cried together.

11. Dreamed about ministry together.

12. Went on a lot of dates.

13. Invested in other couples.

14. Found couples that would invest in us.

15. Cleaned house together.

16. Worked hard to find the best, most unique gifts for each other, instead of only doing that for others.

17. Fell asleep on the couch together

18. Worshiped together.

19. Read Scripture together. (which leads back to #18)

20. Grow a garden together.

____________________________________________________________

What have you done in five years?

This year, I’ve taken up gardening.  I wrote a little bit about that here.  Before you write me off as a girly man, hear me out.

I built four raised plant beds to plant some mini-gardens in my back yard.  I don’t have room for a full-on garden, and raised beds tend to look tidier.  In addition, they’re supposed to cut down on weeds.  Based on the word supposed, you can guess that that’s not exactly the case.  At least it’s not so when you use dirt that’s full of weed seeds.  You see, I got the dirt from my grandfather’s farm, and though the dirt is unbelievably rich, it had some weed seeds in it.

My wife and I planted lots of vegetables: carrots, bibb lettuce, red cabbage, tomatoes, cucumbers, squash, and other stuff I can’t remember.  We also have herbs and flowers in the garden.  As they began to germinate and eventually sprout up out of the ground, we got really excited.  Except that we weren’t sure whether these new green sprigs were veggies or weeds.

“Jesus told them another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like a man who sowed good seed in his field.  But while everyone was sleeping, his enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat, and went away.  When the wheat sprouted and formed heads, then the weeds also appeared.” (Matthew 13:24-26)

There will always be “weeds among the wheat” in the church.  You can be upset about that if you’d like, or do something about it.  Does the fact that there are “weeds” (and by “weeds,” I mean that there are those there who don’t really belong to the kingdom of God, i.e., they’re not saved) bother you?  I hope it does, because it should!  Weeds are not meant to be there!  Someone else, not the true Gardener, has placed them in the garden.  What should we, the Church, do about these unwelcomed, ugly, ultimately life-sucking weeds?  Cut them off?  Cast them out?  Try to build our garden so that no weeds enter (which is not possible, by the way)?  No.  That is unloving and un-Christlike.  The answer to the question, “what do we do with the weeds?” is that we love them.  We evangelize them.  We live and preach the Gospel in hopes that God transforms them from a weed into a beautiful plant that bears fruit for the Kingdom.  Instead of sucking the life out of the Church, we plead with them to give the desire of their heart to Christ and begin pouring life back into the Church!

Don’t forget…you were a weed once, too.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.” (Matthew 5:43-45)