I never joined a fraternity.

I wasn’t a recluse at all…I had my circles of relationships.  I just didn’t ever join a fraternity.  And part of my reason for not joining was that I thought the whole thing was just weird.

They wore different colors.  They were always busy with fraternity activities.  They had their own house.  Their own chants.  Their own jokes.  Their own handshakes.  Their own sections at the games.  Their own language.

While fraternities had many positive things to offer (community, sense of belonging, lifelong friends, etc.) here are some negatives I noticed.

Where Fraternities missed the mark, they:

1. Were exclusivistic. If you weren’t one of them, you were treated like you were an outsider.

2. Seemed to lose the individual to the collective whole. After a person joined a fraternity, their identity became wrapped up with that fraternity.

3. Sent candidates through a long initiation process that, to those on the outside, was silly and pointless.

4. Dominated people’s time, and kept them from integrating with the rest of the student body.

I think this is what unhealthy churches do, too.  I know, I know…we should be developing healthy communities of people that love and care for each other.  But shouldn’t we want to grow?  Our goal as the Church isn’t to add just a certain type of the incoming class of freshmen…because our Savior died for people from every race and every tribe! If you want to add people to your local church (evangelism), you have to start thinking about how they will perceive what you do.

So how do we do that?  Take a cue from what fraternities do.

Growing churches…

1. Aren’t exclusivistic. *Before you comment, please read below* Rather, these churches take an inclusive stance to those outside of the faith, positioning and presenting their local church in a way that doesn’t offend, but invites, outsiders to come and see.  These churches consistently think, “How will a first-time guest perceive, and understand, what we do here?”

2. Give people the space to process, and the freedom to be themselves. If you’re producing drones that simply parrot back the “right” answer, never thinking and processing for themselves, then you’re doing a disservice to the individual God has created.  God has created us unique, and our uniqueness as individuals makes for a beautiful Church.

3. Don’t make the integration process difficult. If someone is seeking and curious, give them the chance to explore.  Immediately!  Don’t make them go through a 12-week membership process before they can serve, join a small group, or feel like they’re a part of your church family.  Strike while that iron’s hot.

4. Don’t dominate people’s time. Intuition says that more programs = more spiritual growth.  But if you have church activities every night of the week, how do you expect your church to truly be a vital part of the community?  How do you expect individuals to invest in their family?  How do you expect staff members to have any time of their own?  Advocating a simple model in your local church shows that you value investing in your community and in your families.

What other things do growing churches do?

*I’m not meaning theological exclusivity, as in the exclusivity of the Gospel (John 14:6).  My defense of that can come in another post.