Tag: millennial

10 principles to leading young pastors

I serve on staff with a team of young pastors. I love the guys and girls I get to do ministry with.

Our lead pastors (Ron Edmondson and Chad Rowland) know how to lead younger pastors unbelievably well. In fact, one of our pastors, Ron Edmondson, wrote a post yesterday on raising up young leaders that articulates some of the practices he uses with guys like me.

I know there are some pastors wondering, “How do I lead younger pastors?” I also know there are some younger guys frustrated because their pastor has no clue how to lead them well.

Here are some important principles I think will help older leaders to guide us young guys well.

10 principles to leading young pastors

Things to stop

Quit telling us what to do.

Nobody wants to be micromanaged. Especially high calibre leaders. The more you direct our every step, the more we’ll balk at your leadership. Lead us by doing hard, creative, meaningful work with character. Instead of telling us what to do, do the work and invite us into the process of planning, dreaming, and scheming you go through.

Quit telling us who to be.

With the advents of the internets, we have access to the greatest leaders, the most prolific communicators, and the sharpest minds in the world. We’re following a plethora of high-quality leaders through their podcasts, blogs, books, and webinars. But we don’t have access to other pastors’ lives like we do yours, working alongside you week after week. Instead of telling us who to be, model for us who we could be if we were to fully flesh out our God-given gifts.

Quit telling us “the why.”

We get your vision. In fact, that’s one of the major reasons we decided to work for you…we, at some level, bought into the vision. But if we’re constantly poking holes, asking questions, and stretching the box, we don’t need to hear “the why” again. More than likely, it’s “the why” that we’re questioning. Instead of telling us “the why” once again, let us help you see if there’s a better “why.”

Quit expecting less-than-exceptional work.

We’re capable of more than you expect. Throw projects, concepts, and ideas our way, and give us the freedom to accomplish those in a way different than you may have initially drawn up in your mind. Raise the bar. We’ll rise to it. Instead of expecting decent work, expect us to blow you away.

Quit telling us only what you’re disappointed with.

We need to hear where we need to improve. But we also need to hear which decisions we’re making are making an impact. The more you share the negative things exclusively, the less we’ll come to you for advice, wisdom, and counsel. Instead of telling us only what you’re disappointed with, give us consistent feedback.

Here’s the guiding principle:

If you want to lead young pastors well, stop “telling” us. Instead, lead us.

There’s such a difference between leading and parenting. Between leading and micromanaging. Between leading and controlling. Between leading and doling out tasks.

Things to start

Start giving young pastors the chance to make mistakes.

This is costly in the short run, but costly not to in the long run.

Start giving young pastors the chance to do things differently.

This means you may have to bend on the details of how you thought your vision would be accomplished.

Start giving young pastors the chance to stretch the box.

Change may be difficult, but box a young pastor in and you’ll suffocate them.

Start giving young pastors a seat at the leadership table, even when they haven’t earned it.

This is a move that will enstill confidence in younger pastors, and give them the chance to flesh out creative ideas. It also helps us see what it takes to be more influential in our leadership.

 

We young pastors may be a bit idealistic. We may be a bit rough around the edges. We may be quick to decide things you’d rather ponder on. We may be slow to move on something you’re ready to pounce on.

 

The bottom line is that we need to be led.

Question:

Do you serve with young leaders? What am I missing?

 

* image credit: background via Creation Swap, Divine Fusion // edits mine

 

The day I got into a fight with my wife’s grandmother

There are some blog post titles that people use just to draw you in.

“Sexy” titles, if you will.

Titles that build hype, often overselling and under delivering.

This happens to not be one of those titles.

image credit: Creative Commons user Robert Daniel Ullman

It was unintentional, really. I didn’t set out that warm Saturday afternoon telling myself, “I bet Laura’s grandma and I could scrap today. She’d probably love that.”

It just sort of happened.

Round 1

We were standing beside the door, she preparing to leave. In retrospect, I should’ve just given her a hug and opened the door. We launched into a conversation about a TV show that my wife and I watch. One that she, consequently, doesn’t. Her reasons for abstaining are moral convictions, which I can completely understand and respect. With respect to the show, she doesn’t appreciate how the children interact with their parents, how the wife interacts with her husband, and some of the lifestyle decisions that characters on the show have made. She laid out her whole case in about 5 minutes.

Round 2

When she finished, I felt like she has issued an invitation to me to lay out my thoughts. As I creeped closer, though, I realized she was siren-ing me to the edge of a cliff. Like a moth drawn to that strangely-buzzing blue light, I walked right into the trap. There was no winning this one. No way I could emerge a hero of informed reason and logic. Not a chance. I was peering off the edge of a cliff.

Round 3

As words came out of my mouth, I tried to catch them. The whole time I’m talking, I’m thinking, “What are you doing?!? Back away…back away!” I got that look from my wife. I don’t even have to describe it. Husbands, you know what I’m talking about.

But it was too late. Back out now, and I look like a heel. Keep going, and I look like a heel. Close my eyes and run…that was probably the best option, but Reeds aren’t cowards. We’re a bit foolhardy sometimes, but we’re not cowards.

The point I was trying to make was this:

I don’t get my theology from a TV show.

I can watch a TV show (note: the show in question is family-friendly), and completely separate it from informing my theological framework. In fact, when I watch a show, I view it through the theological lens I’ve constructed through hard work, sweat, and tears. I strive for a theology informed deeply by the Scriptures.

I can watch a show and say, “What they’re doing there…that’s not good. That’s not how I’m going to parent.” Not in a judgmental kind of way. But in a way where I’m exercising wisdom and discernment.

I’m not watching TV as my devotional time. Nor am I watching it in hopes that they’ll somehow slip in a good word about the local church. That’s not TV’s job. That’s my job!

In fact, the moment I allow TV to twist my theology is the moment I’ve headed down a slope more slippery than the one I was peering down with my grandma-in-law.

The eye of the tiger

She stood on the other side of this argument, urging extreme caution with what we fill our minds. She warned that subtle lies slip in back doors, and make their way into our lives. TKO. She just ‘eye-of-the-tigered’ me.

I don’t wholeheartedly disagree with her. I just happen to see the other side of the coin, enjoying 30 minutes of laughter, catching a slice of culture, and not succumbing to the subtle lies. I believe that this is a generational issue more than anything else. My generation can watch a show, laugh, enjoy the story, and separate that from how we live our lives. I believe that the generation that precedes me more closely intertwines real life with media content.

I’m not sure that one of us is right and the other wrong. In fact, in that moment, I waved my white flag of surrender. And made a future note to myself:

Don’t pick a fight with a grandma. Even if you win, you’ll lose.

Question:

Where do you stand? Is it acceptable to watch a show with questionable (though not offensive, cause-you-to-stumble) content? Or should we shield our eyes from anything that could depict something less than what we want for our lives and our families?

 * image credit: Creative Commons user Robert Daniel Ullman

 

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