Been Reed - Life and Theology. The musings of a young pastor.

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Small Group Success

I’m a small groups pastor, and part of my job is training up new small group leaders. In addition to philosophical/theological/boring stuff that I talk about in new leader trainings, I give practical advice to help them make their small group a success (I know, I know, some of you would argue that good theology is always practical…don’t get all up in arms about my wording…you know what I mean). Lots of this I learn because I lead a small group myself, and see group dynamics in action every week. Part of this I learn through reading books. Part I learn through reading blogs. But this time, I want to learn from you.

Have you ever been in a small group? How about a Sunday School class? How about a Bible study with at least a few other people? Still no? Have you ever been a part of a group of guys from the office, just sitting around and talking? (If you cannot answer “yes” to any of these questions, please close down your computer and get a real friend…j/k) If so, you can help me out.

What makes a small group successful? We may all define the “win” differently based on our context and goals, but what is it that helps you to acheive the goals you are setting out to accomplish? What can/should a small group leader do in order to be the best small group leader God is calling them to be? Leave a comment and let me know two things that you have learned from being a part of a small group. Your two answers won’t be comprehensive, but that’s ok. Here are mine:

1. Make your small group “fun.” If it’s not fun, people won’t come back. You may have the most Biblical discussion that has ever happened in the history of the church, but if it’s boring, you’ll lose people the following week.

2. Open a discussion. Give people a chance to voice objections, concerns, questions, and life experiences (and actually listen to their answers). They’re a part of the story, too, you know?!?

Those are my two. What do you think?

A Story of Redemption

July 15, 2009 / Ben Reed / 2 Comments

I twittered this the other day, and thought it fitting to fill you in on who Josh Hamilton is:

Just saw Josh Hamilton interviewed @ Home Run Derby say last year’s win paled in comparison to witnessing to millions about Jesus!

Not everybody has a story as vivid and raw as Texas Rangers’ homerun slugger Josh Hamilton. He was drafted number one straight out of high school, touted as a “can’t-miss prospect.” With this in mind, last season’s unbelievable stats should be no surprise (he’s gotten off to a slow start to this first-half of the season this year). He broke the single-round record for most homeruns in the Home Run Derby (28), and for the year, amassed a .302 batting average, pounded in 132 RBI, and slugged 32 homers.

The only thing that’s odd about his performance is that he was drafted 9 years ago.

He’s had a long, hard road that has included multiple failed drug tests, eight stints in drug rehab, and the realization that he was fast becoming a failure as a husband and a father. But he’s been clean since October of 2005, attributing his rapid success to a grand work of God. Here’s a quote from Josh:

This may sound crazy, but I wouldn’t change a thing about my path to the big leagues. I wouldn’t even change the 26 tattoos that cover so much of my body, even though they’re the most obvious signs of my life temporarily leaving the tracks. You’re probably thinking, Bad decisions and addiction almost cost him his life, and he wouldn’t change anything? But if I hadn’t gone through all the hard times, this whole story would be just about baseball. If I’d made the big leagues at 21 and made my first All-Star team at 23 and done all the things expected of me, I would be a big-time baseball player, and that’s it.

What’s your story? Are you at the bottom right now? If so, maybe Josh’s redemption can give you hope.

Not hope that Jesus will make you healthy, wealthy, and wise.

Not hope that Jesus will make life easy.

Not even hope that he will end suffering here on earth.

His story offers hope because it shows us that God is in the business of redemption. God cares about you more than you could ever care for yourself. He has not abandoned you or forsaken you. He has not left you to figure out life on your own. He may have given you more than you can bear (for a further explanation of this thought, see Ron Edmondson’s post HERE), but His purpose is to show you that life is tougher than you can handle on your own, and that He is ready and willing to save. He longs to redeem His people.

If you’re at rock bottom, now is the time to turn to the Lord. He’s ready. He always has been (Luke 11:15-32).

Bike Riding & Community

July 12, 2009 / Ben Reed / 3 Comments

I rode bikes a fair amount in college.

I was into mountain biking for a while, but going to school in West Tennessee, the flattest part of the state, doesn’t afford many mountains. So I traded the mountain bike in for a road bike. I rode some with my roommate, but also a lot by myself. I would tell people, “I love just getting out there and riding by myself.” I must not have liked it that much, because after college I gave up biking.

In the last couple of months, I’ve picked it back up. I ride three times/week. Twice it’s a shorter sprint, and once/week is a long ride. I’m loving it! And I’m sticking with it. Why?

I experience community when I ride my bike.

You see, I don’t ride alone. I ride with three guys from my community group, one of their sons, and my uncle. Somehow, in riding 30 miles with people, life happens. Significant conversations happen. The distractions of normal life are stripped away, and riding through the country opens up the heart. I’ve built great relationships with these guys, and I look forward to our rides together.

Biking alone is ok, but I

get tired more quickly
don’t have the motivation to keep going
don’t have the motivation to get up early and push myself
get bored
go shorter distances
quit earlier than I intended.

When I bike with the guys, I am encouraged to get up early, to keep riding, to push myself even harder, and to finish the ride.

That’s what authentic, God-honoring community does.

And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all. -1 Thessalonians 5:14

Disappointment

July 10, 2009 / Ben Reed / 7 Comments

Can I be honest with you for a minute? I’m a bit disappointed. Though you would think that an increase in blog traffic would leave me excited, in reality it leaves me shaking my head.

Most of the time, my blog posts have substance. Though a few, such as “A Waste of 3:41,” “Do you ChaCha?,” and “John Piper and Michael Jackson” were of no substantive value, the vast majority of my posts carry some weight. In one way or another, they are written to effect change in you, the reader.

A change in action.

A change in thought.

A change in attitude.

A change in direction.

A change in leadership.

However, my latest post, “Caption this and win!,” though it gave me the chance to highlight one of our small groups, brag on one of our small group leaders, and have a laugh at her expense (sorry, Katrina!), it did not ask anything of the reader beyond posting a funny comment caption. So what’s the problem with this?

This post received over 2.5x the number of hits as compared to my normal posts.

I’m not opposed to bloggers giving prizes away to promote traffic to their blog. Really, I’m not. But it bugs me that shallow content often receives more attention than weighty. An “easy” (fluffy content) read seems to be preferred over a “difficult” (challenging content) read.

I’d like to say that I know the answer to this, but I don’t. I’m just throwing it out there.

Have you found this to be true for you? In your blog? In your sermons? In your teaching? In your small groups? In the daily conversations you have at work? At home? On vacation?

Maybe we as a culture prefer comfort over conversations of value.

What do you think?

Caption this and win!

July 8, 2009 / Ben Reed / 18 Comments

Katrina Watts is the director of Grace Acres (the preschool ministry) and Family Ministry Coordinator at Grace Community Church. She also helps out with Remix on Wednesday nights, and is a community group leader. She, and her co-leader, do an amazing job leading their group, and I’m so glad that the Lord is using her to build community and help people take steps of faith.

She and her group had a cook-out the other night, and this picture was taken (Katrina’s the one standing up, with a black shirt on). What caption would you put under it for her? What’s Katrina thinking? Is she mad? Confused? Why is she not smiling? Leave your caption as a comment (and feel free to leave more than one comment!). I’ll give you guys a few days, and the winning caption will receive a copy of the book that Katrina’s group is going through, Crazy Love, by Francis Chan. I’ll alert the winner by email.

??????

Do you ChaCha?

July 6, 2009 / Ben Reed / 1 Comment

Have you ever had an unsolvable argument with somebody because neither of you knew the answer to a certain, random, completely unimportant question? Like “What was the final score from the 2007 NFL Super Bowl football game?” or “How many stop signs are there in the state of TN?” or “How many hours would it take watch all 3 extended versions of Lord of the Rings?” You can wait until one of you has time to look it up, or…enter ChaCha. It’s a mobile answer service. Just text any question you have to the phone number 242242 (which spells ChaCha), they’ll route your question to a knowledgeable person, who will text you back with the answer. ChaCha gets hundreds of thousands of questions a day.

I’ve been using it for a while now, and really love it. Laura doesn’t like it…she says it’s not reliable (of course, she usually says that when it proves her wrong!…hah…j/k…kind of). It’s about as reliable as any web engine search or Wikipedia. It’s answered lots of questions I have. Most of my questions are completely random. Here’s an assortment:

Ques: Where did the chicago cubs get their name? I haven’t heard of any bear sightings in the Chicagoland area.

Ans: The name ‘Cubs’ was imposed upon the team in 1902 by a newspaper writer who thought the team looked very young.

Ques: How many Sham-Wows would it take to soak up the water in a typical baptismal?

Ans: Probably at least 5,000 sham wows, but if you only had one sham wow, you could just keep wringing it out!

Ques: What is the line on the University of TN/University of FL game this weekend?

Ans: There isn’t a line. They are not playing this weekend.

My response: Yes they are. 615 est.

Ans: yeah, you’re rt. Fl by 14.

So, what question are you going to ask ChaCha? Post them here as a comment!

Do you love your family?

July 3, 2009 / Ben Reed / 0 Comments

Whether you like golf or not, Phil Mickelson is a likable kind of guy. I love how he’s willing to take the risky shot from behind a tree that everybody else would be afraid to take. He’s not scared to fire a 4-iron at a pin that’s tucked into the back corner of a green guarded by bunkers and water. Instead of playing it safe, he’ll flop a wedge from a buried lie in the trap to a pin position that’s running away from him on a green that is slicker than putting in your bathtub. Though it is that same “grip it and rip it” attitude that costs him championship titles, you’ve got to love his win-at-all-costs attitude.

What I also respect about Phil is his devotion to his family off of the course. I remember the 1999 US Open. His wife, Amy, was pregnant and was due any day. He was fighting for the lead (and this would be his first Major win, so this tournament was really important to him) with Payne Stewart, but the tournament wasn’t of first importance. Of first importance was his wife and soon-to-be-born daughter. So he carried a pager with him all week, ready to walk off the course the instant he received the page from his wife.

Now, nearly 10 years later, Amy has been diagnosed with breast cancer. So what is Phil to do? Continue traveling with the PGA tour? Pour more and more hours into his job to avoid the difficulties of home? No. Phil is taking time off to be with his wife and family (granted, Phil has more money than most, and so has the freedom to take time off and still financially survive). To me, that’s a noble move.

Phil has put his reputation on the line in order to make his family more important than his job. Investing in his family is more important than getting that next big win.

Maybe we husbands could learn something from Phil. Lets evaluate what is of utmost importance to us. Is it our job? Our reputation? That next “big win”? Or is it our family?

Here’s a tribute to one of the craziest shots I ever saw Phil make.

Is “both” too much to demand?

July 1, 2009 / Ben Reed / 4 Comments

I hate the expression, “You can’t have your cake and eat it, too.” I want both! I recently posted this to Twitter:

Would U prefer 2 sit under a pastor who knows Scripture really well but communicates poorly or who’s a gr8 speaker but knows less Scripture?

I received lots of feedback, ones that brought up more questions:

Which is easier to learn, Scripture or speaking?

What is our faith really built upon? Polished speaking or sound theology?

Isn’t that why God made a concordance? (personally, this question made me laugh)

Here’s my thought. Is “both” too much to demand?

Is the Gospel not worth our every ounce of effort to “get it right?” Should we not study historical theology, systematic theology, original languages, multiple translations, other pastors, commentaries, dictionaries, surveys, hermeneutics, biblical theology, all with the end goal of communicating the “correct” Gospel? What we believe is so important. Paul rips the Galatian Christians because of their wrong belief:

I am astonished that you are so quickly deserting the one who called you by the grace of Christ and are turning to a different gospel— which is really no gospel at all. Evidently some people are throwing you into confusion and are trying to pervert the gospel of Christ. Galatians 1:6-7

What we believe, and what we lead others to believe, is highly important. We owe it to those we are leading to get it right!

On the other side of the coin, is the Gospel not worth every ounce of our effort to communicate it effectively? If we communicate poorly, we are really saying, “The Gospel is not valuable enough to me or for you for me to work on my communication skills.” It’s not enough to just “get the Gospel right” because the Gospel was never meant to stay with you, but was meant to spread to the ends of the earth. How does that happen? (hint: It doesn’t spread through the water). We need to continue to improve the way that we articulate it, thinking through the way that it lands on those to whom we are preaching. Are you communicating in a way that leaves people offended at the Gospel (which is, by nature, offensive…you’re telling somebody that they’re a sinner, can’t do any good for themselves, and need someone to rescue them!), or offended that you continue to harp on your “pet” sins, elevating gray issues and condemning those who don’t have the exact same convictions? Are people left more confused about God than when they came? Or do they walk out left with a real choice, knowing full-well the meaning and implications of your message? I’m not talking about the Gospel needing your eloquent speech (1 Corinthians 2:1-5). I’m talking about the Gospel deserving a clear explanation, given in a way that people can understand and digest.

So, is it too much to ask for the true Gospel to be communicated well? I don’t think so.

Proclaim Christ. Proclaim him often. Proclaim him well.

Michael Jackson’s legacy

June 30, 2009 / Ben Reed / 0 Comments

Josh Patterson is one of the pastors at The Village Church in Dallas, TX, and writes for their blog. I love what he has said concerning the passing of Michael Jackson. His response reflects a Biblical worldview. I thought I’d share it with you.

I have tried to “moonwalk” a thousand times. I used to think the “Thriller” video was the coolest thing ever…and a little scary. I might have owned a red leather jacket with a bunch of zippers. In the third grade, I performed a moving rendition of “Beat it” for the school talent show and brought the house down. “Billie Jean” still has the most memorable beat to start a song and the sure fast way to get a party started. I really did think Michael Jackson was “Bad” and a “Smooth Criminal.” You know you cried the first time you realized it really did start with the “Man in the Mirror” and “We are the World.” If ever we saw an icon fall from grace, it was Michael Jackson.

He was a man who was never comfortable in his skin. He always wanted to be something other than he was. Money afforded him the opportunity to chase a thousand fantasies from morphing his image (literally) to building Neverland. It the end, he was a sad commentary on the truths found in the book of Ecclesiastes. Vanity of vanity…life is all vanity. The pursuit of wisdom, riches, fame, fortune, safety, security, simplicity, chastity, fidelity, friendship or solitude is all a vain pursuit. Death is the great equalizer. Christ is the great hope.

Are you speaking another langugage?

June 29, 2009 / Ben Reed / 2 Comments

I had the opportunity to preach at a Korean church yesterday. It was definitely a different kind of an experience. I’m not sure if your experience at the church where you attend is anything like mine, but typically the American church experience goes something like this:

1. Arrive 5 minutes late.

2. Sit in the back.

3. Say hey to a couple of friends on your way to lunch.

My experience yesterday flew in the face of this, in a good way. The music started 20 minutes before the service started, to get people in the mood to worship. We sang hymns (first in Korean, then in English for the few English-speaking spouses…and me and my family), read Scripture (again, first in Korean, then in English), heard announcements (I don’t think I have to say it again, but I will anyway…first in Korean, then in English), then I preached…first in English, then in…just kidding. I preached, then the English-speaking people were dismissed while the Korean pastor preached. We discussed the implications of my sermon, very much like what we do in small groups at Grace Community Church. After that, everybody stayed around to eat lunch and fellowship.

Here’s what struck me: when the congregation was worshipping in Korean, I had no idea what they were saying. I don’t speak or read Korean. However, I knew what they were doing. I could tell that they were worshipping, and were going at it with all of their hearts. I so wish I could have joined in their songs and prayers. But I had to wait until they spoke my language.

In your church, are you “speaking another language”? You may be communicating in English, but are you using words that outsiders don’t know? Do people who attend your church have to have a theological degree, or at least have been going to church for their whole lives, in order to follow you as you preach, pray, and sing? Is the theological vocabulary you are armed with alienating “outsiders?” If I remember correctly, Jesus could communicate the life-transforming power of the Gospel to the Pharisees AND the people who had no clue about Scripture.

This is not a call to “dumb down” your worship services. This is a call to make them accessible to a wide audience. Not by muddling the truth and preaching a false Gospel. Preach the Truth! But preach it in a way that lost people are left with a choice to respond to the Gospel…not merely wondering what “atonement,” “depravity,” “Gospel,” “redeemed,” and the vast array of other insider language that we use.

May those we minister to be left amazed by the love of our Savior and not the complexity of our language.