…you can walk into church without anybody knowing you

…you leave church without anybody knowing you

…you’ve backslidden

…you want to grow in your faith

…you want to help others grow in their faith

…you need a place to serve

…you need a place to grow

…you need a place to belong

…you’re curious about God

…you don’t even know where to start

…you are a new believer

…you are a mature believer

…you are divorced

…you have children

…you cannot have children

…you “have it together”

…everybody else knows you don’t “have it together”

…you have a great family

…your family is rotten

…you don’t have any family

…you have lots of friends, but none that share your values

…you don’t have any friends who encourage you

…you don’t have any friends who hold you accountable

…you don’t have any friends, period

…life has fallen apart

…you know life will soon fall apart

…you have lots of free time

…you don’t have any free time

…you don’t have parenthood figured out yet

…you don’t have marriage figured out yet

…you don’t have singleness figured out yet

…life is tough right now

…you find that living the Christian life is difficult

…you erroneously think living the Christian life is easy

…you can never seem to think of things to pray for

…you have a house (or apartment) that can seat more than 2 people

…your story is still in progress

What would you add to this list?

 

Rex, our 1 year old son, is walking.  Well…sort of.  He’s taking lots of steps.  But he’s taking lots of falls, too.  In fact, at least half of every attempt at walking ends up with him falling to the ground.  Does that mean that I scold him and shame him for even trying to take a step?  Constantly tell him he should’ve tried harder?  Should’ve asked God for more help?  That now he may never be able to walk?

We’d like to think that change happens overnight.  But in reality, it rarely does.  I mean, we reward the overnight change.  We give those people stage time.  We herald their stories on videos and movies.  We stand shocked when those folks share their stories with us.  We want to capture them on video so that the rest of our church can see them.  We venerate the “big” salvation experiences.

Oftentimes, change is much slower than we’d like.

More often than not, it’s, “I got saved 2  years ago, and I’m still struggling.”  or “I got saved 6 months ago, and still have to fight against sin on a weekly…daily…hourly…basis.”  or “I’ve been saved since I was 16, and I’ve been fighting against sin, but I still mess up…but with the power of Christ, I soldier on.”

I’ve written about Josh Hamilton before, HERE.  He’s got one of “those stories.”  However, even after having gone public with his fight against drugs and alcohol, after having been saved, after having been restored to his family, he messed up.  But you know what he did after he messed up?  He told his wife and his family.  He sought their forgiveness.  And they granted it.

Change, at one level, happens in an instant.  We are saved, from one specific point in history, forever into eternity.  But from another, very real aspect, we’re still in the process of being saved.  Let’s be honest about this.

You’re not perfect.  Neither am I.  Lets take off the mask and quit acting like something we’re not.

I cheer for Rex every time I see him take a step.  Because that’s one step closer to walking.

Do you need encouragement?  I’ll clap for you.

How can you celebrate and encourage someone today who’s taken a step towards Christ?

 

My blog may seem random to you.  And if that’s what you think it is…you’re probably right.  In talking with successful bloggers, I’m often told that I should choose one or two things to blog about, and blog at least a couple of times a week about each of those topics.

But that’s not me.

And my blog is a snapshot of my life.

And I am dealing with much more than one or two things per week.

It’s about my life, how I process things, and what I’m dealing with.  It’s leadership, small groups, and parenting.  It’s theology and counseling.  It’s a devotional thought and a book review.  It’s sometimes about adoption or a post from a friend.  In short, it’s my life.  I’m trying to process all of life through the grid of Scripture, thinking through things theologically.  Sometimes I hit the mark…sometimes I miss it badly.  Hopefully you’ll see growth in my own life through my blog, but if you see me miss it, please give me some grace.  I’ve still got lots of growing and learning to do.

I guess I’ve been thinking about this because I want my blog to be effective for my readers.  If my blog ceases to be relevant and helpful for my readers, I need to rethink and restructure things.  If it ceases to be effective for me, I need to stop blogging.  I hope that it always will be a helpful source of information for readers, but one thing that I’m certain of right now is that it’s effective for me.  It really helps me to flesh out my thoughts and communicate them in a way that others can understand.  Writing forces me to shape my thoughts into some form of definable action on my part.  If I put them on “paper,” I’m more likely to act on them and live them out.

Thanks for all of you who put up with my rambling, often random blog.

 

I just had lunch with a guy in our small groups ministry, and we talked about the importance of accountability.  We talked about the fact that we all need to have those people in our lives who know everything about us, and are not afraid to ask us difficult, awkward, yet ultimately Christ-honoring, sin-defeating questions.  We need those people who know all of our junk, yet love us still the same.  They don’t love our junk, but they love the chance to help point out the sinful habits and blind spots that we have, and those things (whether good or bad) that ensnare us.  They’re not satisfied with letting us continue in our sin because they “know that he (Jesus) appeared so that he might take away our sins. And in him is no sin. No one who lives in him keeps on sinning. No one who continues to sin has either seen him or known him.” (1 John 3:5-6).  We are sinful creatures, and our sin loses its power when it’s confessed, and brought into the light.

How do you make sure you’re held accountable?  Are you accountable to anyone other than God?  Are you accountable to anyone other than your spouse?

How can you, as a group leader, help those in your group be accountable to each other?

1. Foster an environment of authenticity and vulnerability.  Be real with your struggles, failings, and sinful tendencies.  You’re not perfect, and your group members know that.  When you mess up, confess it!

2. Divide your group based on gender for times of prayer.  I don’t like to air out my dirty laundry in front of another man’s wife, and I’m sure that you feel similarly.  Guys can be more openly honest when it’s just guys in the room.  We understand each other better, know how we think and operate, and often know how to minister to each other and hold each other accountable better than you do.  The same holds true for girls.

3.  If you’re the leader, meet with group members (who share the same gender with you) outside of the normal group meeting.  These times are great for building relationship, and opening up with areas of your lives that are not as easy to bring up in a larger group setting.

4.  Choose curriculum, and ask questions in the group, that cover a wide variety of Scriptures and topics.  You won’t know what areas people in your group struggle with until you ask.

5.  Encourage group members to find somebody that can hold them accountable.  It can be another person in the group, or a believer outside of the group, but it does not have to be you, the leader.  Your role as the leader is to encourage others to put themselves into relationships full of confession, love, and vulnerability.

Accountability, just like spiritual growth, doesn’t just happen.  You have to desire it, and you have to seek it.  Accountability is crucial to your growth in Christlikeness.  How much do you care about your growth?