My wife and I just got back from a trip to the United Kingdom.  While there, we visited the city of Windsor.

Windsor is a charming town, with cobblestone streets, vendors selling pastries, and lots of people roaming the markets.  The queen also resides occasionally at Windsor Castle, and while we were there, she happened to be in town.

There were a whole lot of tourists visiting…many, I’m sure, hoping to spot the queen.

For whatever reason, we didn’t look like tourists that day (even though it was our first day there, and I’m sure we still had that wide-eyed look that tourists seem to have), and were stopped and asked the question, “Do you know where the McDonald’s is?”

Don’t mind the irony of the situation (the fact that they were asking a couple of Americans, who weren’t in America, where an American restaurant was located).  We really weren’t sure where the McDonald’s was located.  It seemed like we had passed one (and passed we did…we refused to eat American food while in the UK) earlier, so we pointed them in the direction we thought best.  Turns out we were right.

Turns out we were right.

But we could have just as easily have been wrong.

Just because we were American didn’t mean we knew where the McDonald’s was.

I’ve been thinking a lot about the whole process of mentoring lately.  Maybe because I’m at that stage where I need a lot of help. (will I ever get out of this stage?  Would it even be healthy if I did exit this stage?)  Maybe it’s because I see others’ errors more easily than I see my own (that’s a problem, I know).  Maybe it’s because I thoroughly enjoy learning from others.  But I’m not going to just choose to learn from anybody.  I mean, I’ll read lots of books.  Listen to lots of podcasts.  Read lots of blogs.  But when it comes to asking somebody to specifically speak truth into my life, I’m being very picky.

And I think you should as well.

Because the people who are influencing me now really are influencing me.  They’re shaping the way that I look as a husband, a dad, and a pastor.  And for some odd reason, I think that’s pretty important.

In looking for help thinking through your current stage in life, choose wisely.

Just because someone’s a dad doesn’t mean that they know what they’re doing.

Just because someone’s a pastor doesn’t mean they can help give you the counsel you need.

Just because someone’s a leader doesn’t mean that they can help you take the next steps you need to take.

They may be right.

But then again, they may not even be in the right country.

The people who are influencing you now really are influencing you.

 

Whether you like golf or not, Phil Mickelson is a likable kind of guy.  I love how he’s willing to take the risky shot from behind a tree that everybody else would be afraid to take.  He’s not scared to fire a 4-iron at a pin that’s tucked into the back corner of a green guarded by bunkers and water.  Instead of playing it safe, he’ll flop a wedge from a buried lie in the trap to a pin position that’s running away from him on a green that is slicker than putting in your bathtub.  Though it is that same “grip it and rip it” attitude that costs him championship titles, you’ve got to love his win-at-all-costs attitude.

What I also respect about Phil is his devotion to his family off of the course.  I remember the 1999 US Open.  His wife, Amy, was pregnant and was due any day.  He was fighting for the lead (and this would be his first Major win, so this tournament was really important to him) with Payne Stewart, but the tournament wasn’t of first importance.  Of first importance was his wife and soon-to-be-born daughter.  So he carried a pager with him all week, ready to walk off the course the instant he received the page from his wife.

Now, nearly 10 years later, Amy has been diagnosed with breast cancer.  So what is Phil to do?  Continue traveling with the PGA tour?  Pour more and more hours into his job to avoid the difficulties of home?  No.  Phil is taking time off to be with his wife and family (granted, Phil has more money than most, and so has the freedom to take time off and still financially survive).  To me, that’s a noble move.

Phil has put his reputation on the line in order to make his family more important than his job.  Investing in his family is more important than getting that next big win.

Maybe we husbands could learn something from Phil.  Lets evaluate what is of utmost importance to us.  Is it our job?  Our reputation?  That next “big win”?  Or is it our family?

Here’s a tribute to one of the craziest shots I ever saw Phil make.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PslA4WcSos&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en&feature=player_embedded&fs=1]