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Cherry-picking sins

benlreed —  May 18, 2012 — Leave a comment

I’ve heard some pastors cherry-pick certain sins, finding the biggest, juiciest sins to pick from the tree each and every week.

photo credit: Flickr user Robokow

Condemnation against these sins ends up weaving its way into the Sunday experience, whether it’s part of the notes or part of the while-we-are-talking-about-Jude-let’s-not-forget-_____. It’s not that the folly of these sins shouldn’t be exposed. The destructive nature of sin and the contrasting hope of the Gospel should always be proclaimed. But consistently highlighting sins that may be more public in nature or more far-reaching in their implications and natural consequences is a dangerous tactic.

3 Dangers to Cherry-picking

1. You pander to “itching ears.”

These sins are easy to “pick” on. Much of your church culture finds them offensive and repulsive, and they make for easy cries of “Amen!” in the congregation. You know that if you preach against “that,” you’ll have a room full of supporters. We often think that Paul’s warning in 2 Timothy 4:3  is talking to people who simply want to hear a motivational talk. Maybe, though, their “itching ears” are looking for a pastor who will rail against some sins, but not others. Maybe the 2 Timothy warning is for the cherry-picker, too.

2. You promote a weak theology.

Theologically, when you bang the drum against the same sin, you highlight that sin as if it’s more offensive to God. As if that sin sends you to a deeper level of hell and issue you a stricter punishment. As if that sin is more offensive to a holy God than others. As if God has to muster up a little more grace for others’ sin than yours. Though some sins carry a weightier earthly consequence, it’s shaky ground to stand on when you say that one sin is more evil than another, in the eyes of a holy God.

3. You hide in the shadows.

Practically, you have found a way to justify your own sin. When you consistently highlight someone else’s sin, you minimize your own. What you forget is that when you shine the light on somone else, you inadvertently cast a shadow on yourself, giving yourself room to hide in the darkness. Don’t simply highlight the sin that causes you the most offense. Instead, highlight the sin that you tend to minimize. The one that nobody notices. The one that you’re likely to think doesn’t offend the heart of God quite as dangerously. Highlight your drift towards laziness. Talk about your sin of gluttony. Mention your predisposition to choose people over God by sneaking white lies into your relationships. Drop in your next sermon your increasing impatience with your kids. Don’t hide your sin behind someone else’s.

Quit hiding behind the veneer of “bad” sins. Doing this only makes us look like impotent theologians, out of touch with our own depravity.

Choose authenticity instead. Be open and honest about your past, and current struggles.

In that, you’ll find freedom in being a living, breathing example of the Gospel of grace.

Question: Ever heard a pastor cherry-pick a certain sin time and time again?

 

 

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Creating art with my son

benlreed —  May 5, 2012 — 2 Comments

image credit: Creation Swap user http://creationswap.com/joshyates

We created art today,

my son & I crafting a masterpiece.

Weaving figure 8s, sweeping our brushes across,

we dominated the back yard.

 

We created art today.

He used the green, I the orange.

No blade stood a chance

as we blanketed every square inch of our canvas.

 

We created art today

amidst a stifling heat.

We left, covered in green bits of canvas

from which we had crafted.

 

We created art today,

art of the best kind.

Art that gives you hope

and makes you laugh.

 

We created art today,

art that displays real life.

And spotlights the best this life can offer.

Art that beckons others’ enjoyment.

 

We created art today

and we’ll do it again next week.

When the long blades call out

for a father and son to create a masterpiece.

 

 

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I was visiting a church recently (which I encourage anyone on a church staff to do periodically…you’ll learn so much), and I got called out from stage.

I was minding my own business, when the theological hammer came crashing down on my head.

Let me state this first: I’m a pro-Bible guy. I’m for it. I read it. I glean wisdom and life from it. I’m convinced that it’s the very Word of God.

But I’m not convinced that it has to be printed on a page to be the Bible.

image credit: Creative Commons user BigD

The service started out like 99% of every other service in America…a few songs, announcements, prayer, another song, then the sermon.

Here’s how it started, “Please get out your Bibles and turn to ______. If you don’t have your Bible, we have them available at the back…”

Normal, right? Nothing odd yet.

“And when I say Bible, I don’t mean your iPhone or your iPad or your digital device. I mean your physical Bible.” (he was shaking his Bible high in the air by now) He was peering over his invisible reading glasses…right at me and my iPad.

“THIS (he holds his Bible higher and shakes it more ferociously) is how Jesus had his. I think that’s good enough for us, too.”

I wanted to say, “Well, actually, Jesus opened the scroll in the temple, and it didn’t look like that neat, leather-bound, small book you’ve got above your head…” but I didn’t. At least not out loud. :)

I looked around me, to the people sitting close by. I was the only one with a digi-Bible.

Uh oh. I knew I was in for a long service.

Shades of Gray

There’s nothing wrong with holding convictions about gray areas. Things like watching TV, sending your kids to public school, listening to secular music, or drinking alcohol.

Scripture doesn’t say anything specific about any of these actions. It neither forbids nor condones these actions. Scripture may speak in principles, and how we should operate with respect to our freedoms, but with each of these areas, it’s relatively silent. (to these areas, I’d counsel someone to chase hard after wisdom.)

Turns out that the Bible also doesn’t say that, for a “Bible” to be legitimate, it has to be in print form.

Does God’s Word cease to be God’s Word when it’s on a digital screen? When it’s spoken aloud? When it’s written on a banner at a ball game?

Pastor: when you hold up “gray” areas as if they’re black-and-white, right-or-wrong issues, you needlessly alienate people.

The offense of the Gospel

If you’re going to offend someone, offend them with love. So overwhelm them with love and grace that they’re disgusted by it. Preach the Gospel so clearly and winsomely that they’re turned off by a God who loves and cares for them that much. Offend them with a community that loves and accepts them for who they are…people made in God’s image. Offend them with radical forgiveness. Offend them with scandalous grace.

But don’t offend them over what type of media they use to access God’s Word.

They’re accessing God’s Word…let’s rejoice!

Don’t raise gray issues to the level of black-and-white. When you do, you’re speaking authoritatively where God has chosen to be silent. Which is not ground on which I want to find myself.

Question:

Have you ever heard a pastor speak authoritatively on “gray” issues?

* image credit: creative commons user BigD

 

 

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I serve on staff with a team of young pastors. I love the guys and girls I get to do ministry with.

Our lead pastors (Ron Edmondson and Chad Rowland) know how to lead younger pastors unbelievably well. In fact, one of our pastors, Ron Edmondson, wrote a post yesterday on raising up young leaders that articulates some of the practices he uses with guys like me.

I know there are some pastors wondering, “How do I lead younger pastors?” I also know there are some younger guys frustrated because their pastor has no clue how to lead them well.

Here are some important principles I think will help older leaders to guide us young guys well.

10 principles to leading young pastors

Things to stop

Quit telling us what to do.

Nobody wants to be micromanaged. Especially high calibre leaders. The more you direct our every step, the more we’ll balk at your leadership. Lead us by doing hard, creative, meaningful work with character. Instead of telling us what to do, do the work and invite us into the process of planning, dreaming, and scheming you go through.

Quit telling us who to be.

With the advents of the internets, we have access to the greatest leaders, the most prolific communicators, and the sharpest minds in the world. We’re following a plethora of high-quality leaders through their podcasts, blogs, books, and webinars. But we don’t have access to other pastors’ lives like we do yours, working alongside you week after week. Instead of telling us who to be, model for us who we could be if we were to fully flesh out our God-given gifts.

Quit telling us “the why.”

We get your vision. In fact, that’s one of the major reasons we decided to work for you…we, at some level, bought into the vision. But if we’re constantly poking holes, asking questions, and stretching the box, we don’t need to hear “the why” again. More than likely, it’s “the why” that we’re questioning. Instead of telling us “the why” once again, let us help you see if there’s a better “why.”

Quit expecting less-than-exceptional work.

We’re capable of more than you expect. Throw projects, concepts, and ideas our way, and give us the freedom to accomplish those in a way different than you may have initially drawn up in your mind. Raise the bar. We’ll rise to it. Instead of expecting decent work, expect us to blow you away.

Quit telling us only what you’re disappointed with.

We need to hear where we need to improve. But we also need to hear which decisions we’re making are making an impact. The more you share the negative things exclusively, the less we’ll come to you for advice, wisdom, and counsel. Instead of telling us only what you’re disappointed with, give us consistent feedback.

Here’s the guiding principle:

If you want to lead young pastors well, stop “telling” us. Instead, lead us.

There’s such a difference between leading and parenting. Between leading and micromanaging. Between leading and controlling. Between leading and doling out tasks.

Things to start

Start giving young pastors the chance to make mistakes.

This is costly in the short run, but costly not to in the long run.

Start giving young pastors the chance to do things differently.

This means you may have to bend on the details of how you thought your vision would be accomplished.

Start giving young pastors the chance to stretch the box.

Change may be difficult, but box a young pastor in and you’ll suffocate them.

Start giving young pastors a seat at the leadership table, even when they haven’t earned it.

This is a move that will enstill confidence in younger pastors, and give them the chance to flesh out creative ideas. It also helps us see what it takes to be more influential in our leadership.

 

We young pastors may be a bit idealistic. We may be a bit rough around the edges. We may be quick to decide things you’d rather ponder on. We may be slow to move on something you’re ready to pounce on.

 

The bottom line is that we need to be led.

Question:

Do you serve with young leaders? What am I missing?

 

* image credit: background via Creation Swap, Divine Fusion // edits mine

 

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This is a guest post from Seth Caddell. You can follow him on Twitter or Facebook. Catch his blog, too. If you’re interested in guest posting, click HERE.

image credit: Creation Swap user Justin Knight

I’m a pastor, so I regularly hear about how Bible studies often don’t dig deep enough. People will want a deeper study, or more powerful teaching, or more notes and less discussion. I have to admit often times I’m the same way. I would rather sit in a classroom than a room full of strangers for a discussion. But as I thought about it more, I realized there was a problem.

Content is easier than relationships.

It’s easier to sit in a room with a bunch of other leaders, without ever getting my hands dirty. I’d rather takes notes than hear about the messiness of your life, or share mine for that matter. Most of us would, whether we’re willing to admit it or not. Instead, we mask it in spirituality, saying things like

I need a deeper study.

or

This isn’t meaty enough for me.

Sitting down to watch a DVD lesson is easier than talking about issues we’re dealing with at work. Taking notes is simple; talking about marriage issues is not. Sitting and absorbing content is one thing; engaging it and living it out is totally different.

To genuinely be growing, to really be leading people, we have to be in the midst of them. We have to be crying with them, laughing with them, praying for them. It requires getting our hands dirty and doing life together.

Don’t allow “I want deeper content” be a mask that you put on to hide your unwillingness to engage in the messiness of people’s lives. Don’t let it be a mask that hides the messiness of your life, either.

Most of us don’t need deeper studies, we need to wade into the hurting lives of those around us and walk through it with them. And we need to work to be vulnerable ourselves.

Question:

Have you ever been a part of a “deep” study?

* Image credit: CreationSwap user Justin Knight

 

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Insecure, lazy leadership

benlreed —  February 10, 2012 — 5 Comments

image credit: CreationSwap User Matt Gruber (edits mine)

 

There’s a buzz going around about ‘releasing people to _____.’ You can insert any of the following words in that blank:

  • lead
  • serve
  • start projects
  • launch ministries
  • do their job

On the surface, this sounds noble. It sounds like you’re fighting the dreaded “micromanagement,” a 4-letter word in churches, businesses, and any organization trying to move forward. Micromanaging is not the way to create a culture of healthy growth for leaders. It does not produce future leaders, nor leave current ones thrilled by any stretch of your imagination.

“We’re releasing people to _____” also sounds like you’re intentionally giving leaders the chance to lead, ensuring that you don’t box people into a  proverbial box…or a glass case of emotion, if you prefer. No leader worth their weight in homemade laundry detergent (it’s cheap…trust me) wants to be boxed in…so “release them to _______!”

My concern

I have concerns about this line of thought. Though it sounds noble, I’m afraid that in many cases this is just a mask for ‘I have no idea what I’m doing’ or ‘I am not really willing or able to put time into developing leaders.’ Instead of truly being a noble move, it covers over deeper issues of incompetency (I don’t know what I’m doing, myself), inadequacy (I’ve not been trained at all, myself), or insecurity (I’d rather people not know that I don’t know how to lead them).

Turning someone loose to lead doesn’t mean you abandon them. If you want them to help fulfill the vision for your organization, leaders need direction, oversight, and development. “Management” may not be popular, but it’s vital.

Let’s be fair

It’s organizationally unfair to “release someone to serve” if they haven’t properly developed. It’s not fair for the individual, who’s been thrown in over their head. It’s also not fair for the organization, who now has a leader in place without the necessary tools, and who’s not trusted to lead.

It’s okay to “release people to _____,” but don’t neglect development. Spend great care developing your leaders. The time, money, and resources you spend on development will reap huge dividends.

In the small group world where I operate, I’ve said this phrase, too. I have nuanced it like this: “I’m allowing group leaders to be the shepherds of their group.”

But I didn’t do a great job of developing leaders over time. So that’s going to change.

With our newly implemented coaching structure, combined with our leadership development pathway, we’ve made some major changes. Instead of having trainings as isolated events, they’re connected, increasing in depth through each step. This allows us to take a new leader from “I have no idea what I’m doing as a small group leader” to coaching other group leaders into deeper spiritual health.

We want to be able to “turn leaders loose” in good conscience, trusting them to lead their groups with great effectiveness. To do this, we’ve got to do our part of helping them develop.

Question:

Ever heard the phrase, “We’re releasing people to _____.”?

Ever seen it as an excuse for laziness?

* image credit: CreationSwap User Matt Gruber (edits mine)

 

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Merry Christmas from the Reeds!

benlreed —  December 24, 2011 — 2 Comments

 

 

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Wisdom for leaders young and old

benlreed —  December 14, 2011 — 11 Comments

Stuck Between Stages

I find myself in a strange stage of life at this moment. In many ways, I can appeal to two very different groups: older leaders and younger leaders.

To younger leaders, I’m older. I’ve been in vocational ministry for nearly 6 years, have experience writing, teaching, leading teams, and consulting. I’ve been married for more than 7 years and have a 3 year old son. To “young” leaders, I’m old…ahem…experienced.

To older leaders, I’m still young. I’m not yet 30, still have a young child, have not run as many ministry laps as others, and still have a lot to learn. The “wet” behind my ears isn’t yet fully dried.

I find myself stuck between new leaders and old leaders. Which leaves me categorically nowhere. Thanks a lot, late-20s.

Living the Tension

For many of the decisions in my life right now, I live in this tension. I’ve been around long enough to stand on my own feet…but l have also been around long enough to know I don’t know everything. There are still days I feel in over my head. There are still days where I doubt myself. There are still days when I desperately need the sage advice that experience brings.

But I’ve been around long enough that people are looking at me for that same kind of advice. Which frightens me…and should frighten many others, too.

Many days, I wonder whether the next step forward is a good one…or is just a creepy man with a white wigbeard. Should I tell him what I want…or look at him, like my son did, with much trepidation?

photo credit: me

 

Allow me, out of this tension, to speak to you.

To older leaders:

We need you. Urge us to proceed with caution or to run full throttle. Prod us to start something new. Encourage us to quit doing what we’re doing. Tell us what you would do if you were our age. We crave your years of experience. We long to learn from your failures so we don’t replicate them. Help us to stand on your shoulders and see further than our own vantage point offers.

To younger leaders:

Seek wisdom. It’s out there for you. In books, podcasts, and blog posts. It’s available in other men and women, screaming to shed light on the dark and confusing areas of your life. Don’t try to navigate the fog on your own. Life’s too short, and you haven’t lived enough of it.

Out in the open wisdom calls aloud, she raises her voice in the public square; on top of the wall she cries out, at the city gate she makes her speech. (Proverbs 1:20-21)

Whatever stage in life you find yourself, you have a role. Lead upwards and downwards, sideways and backwards. The Kingdom needs you.

 

 

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credit: iStock Photo user TommL

*The creative process is beautiful and frustrating and exhilarating and exhausting. Yet far too often, we put out a poor product. One we’re not even proud of. One that doesn’t inspire further creativity, but de-spires it. (kind of like when you create a new word, like “de-spire”)

I look back to work I did a few years back and I think, “How did I ever send that?” It’s not that it’s full of mistakes. It’s that it’s just not that good. I wasn’t being lazy or haphazard with my work. I just knew something was missing and that I could get better.

The Gaps

I noticed gaps between what I was producing and what I wanted to produce. Gaps between “good” art and “lousy” art. I knew what I was aiming for, and I was hitting as close to the target as I knew how. I recognized the gaps, be it ever so slightly, then but now looking back, those gaps are like chasms.

Closing the Gap

That process continues today. I feel like I’m getting closer and closer to the target, but I still miss. I can describe to you what a beautiful, finished piece of work should look like, but for some reason, my finished work falls short.

With every project, I’m getting a little bit better. One day, I know I’ll look back on my current works and wonder, “How did I ever send that?” But for now, I trust that the daily grind and evaluation is producing an increasingly better  and more beautiful work.

So I’ll keep producing the best art with the most care that I know how.

This video from Ira Glass is a great take on the creative process.

(HT: Z)

* I realize that this post is a bit outside of the normal scope of this blog. Thanks for hanging with me, though. This is what’s on my mind right now.

** photo credit: iStock Photo user TommL

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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We’re prone to thinking we have the toughest life, the most stressful schedule. That nobody understands how much we have to deal with. That nobody is as busy as we are.

photo credit: creation swap user Sharolyn Newington

Nobody gets us.

Nobody really understands.

And we can’t really imagine how life could get busier for you.

And if you think this is just as adults, you’re wrong.

Life in College

When I was in college, I remember feeling incredibly busy. I averaged 21 hours of classes each semester. I also played on the golf team. Most days, I’d go to class from 8-2, then play golf until it was dark. Then I’d either go to my room to study, go to the local collegiate ministry house, or both. I was busy. I felt like life couldn’t get any crazier. I needed others to speak into my life and say, My life is crazier, and God is still sustaining. I’ll walk with you. The reality was that life would get much busier and more difficult. 

Life in Grad School

The same pattern happened in graduate school. I took a full load of classes and I worked at least one job throughout my time there. I was also married. I’d go to class most days from 8-12, then work from 3-midnight. After that, my wife and I would often head out to the store. Sometimes it was for grocery shopping, other times it was just to get out of the house. Because she was also in grad school and working. Different from college, now I was carrying more weight personally, and felt the burden my wife was experiencing too…that’s just how married life works. We carry each other’s burdens. I needed others to speak into my life and say, My life is crazier, and God is still sustaining. I’ll walk with you. The reality was that life would get much busier and more difficult.

Life after Grad School

The same pattern happened post-graduate school. I’m now working full time, working on side projects, opening a small business, maintaing my house, leading a small group, and raising a son. And I thought that life was busy in college! Life has never been busier. Now, more than ever, I’ve needed others to speak into my life and say, “My life is crazier, and God is still sustaining. I’ll walk with you. The reality, based on the pattern I’ve seen, is that life will get much busier and more difficult. It’s not going to slow down.

Our need for community

We need other people in our lives. We need people who remind us that this stage in life will be over. People that remind us that the next stage is full of awesomeness. People that have been where we are, and can honestly tell us that they love us and that it’s going to be okay.

My life is crazier, and God is still sustaining. I’ll walk with you.

We desperately need community.

Question:

Do you feel like you’re busy right now? 

* photo credit: creation swap user Sharolyn Newington

 

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