Don’t think long and hard about this. Just give me your gut reaction.
What word(s) or phrase pops into your head when you think “small group?”
It could be good, bad, beautiful, ugly, off-base, off-color, or off-putting. I just want to know what people think about when the word “small group” comes up.
I asked this question on Twitter:
I was hoping to get a list of the conferences that people I know and trust are attending. I did. And the list was huge. It included men’s conferences, pastor’s conferences, conferences close by, and others far away. Some designed to equip you to be a better leader. Others focused on spiritual growth. Some were for men with funny accents. Others for pastors whose last name ended in “Q.” And still others designed for pastors whose wives graduated from a state university 2 years prior to their husband graduating from seminary. And, I’m sure, all great conferences in their own right.
But a couple of people mentioned The Summit conference. They said that small group experts were gathering together to talk through small group-related topics. Since I’m involved in small groups ministry, I checked into it.
For budget reasons, I pick and choose the conferences that I attend with much discretion.
For ministry-related reasons, I pick and choose the conferences that I attend with much discretion.
For conferences-mean-I-get-further-behind-with-regular-work reasons, I pick and choose the conferences that I attend with much discretion.
For I-love-my-family-and-don’t-want-to-do-a-ton-of-traveling-if-I-can-help-it reasons, I pick and choose the conferences that I attend with much discretion.
I think that The Summit answers all of these reasons.
The Summit is:
Quote from The Summit site:
These men represent decades of experience with small groups including the six basic types: free market, closed, open, organic, multi-group, and cell church. We’ll use a question-and-answer format to tap into their collective knowledge and give you real-world answers to your small group challenges.
Sign up HERE for the event that happens on Thursday, February 18th, from 10:30-12:00 CST.
I’ll be watching. What about you?
I have lots of conversations with people from areas other than Tennessee (aka, God’s Country).
If they’re from further south, they think Tennessee weather is cold.
If they’re from the north, they laugh when we Tennesseans say, “It’s cold outside!”
A 50 degree day in the middle of July in Tennessee is freezing…in January, that same temperature would make for a beautiful day.
Cold…hot…it’s all relative, to a degree (pun intended).
One of the most important aspects of small group life at Grace Community Church is discipleship. I often say to group leaders that making disciples is the #1 priority of their group. Everything else falls under this. If your group ends up bringing 50 new people in, meet 5 times/week, and blaze through 100 curriculums/month, but don’t help those in the group become more faithful disciples of Jesus, the group is a failure.
But I quickly follow that up with the fact that discipleship is relative.
Before you write me off as a post-modern, left-wing, “what’s right for you isn’t necessarily right for me,” spiritual person, hear me out…
A step of faith for me looks different for a step of faith for you. It looks different for the guy who’s just checking out Christianity. It looks different for the guy who’s grown up in Church but is far from God. It looks even different for the student who’s been saved for 6 months and is working through different issues at school. It looks even different for the wife whose husband is deploying (to see what we’re doing to help these women out, check this out HERE).
I’m not sure we can boil “discipleship” down to 4 easy steps. It’s never easy…and it’s not going to be the same 4 steps for everybody.
Taking a step of faith, similar to your perception of “hot” and “cold,” is a matter of where you find yourself in life.
Has your small group helped you take steps of faith?
If you live in the Clarksville, TN area, and are the spouse/girlfriend of a soldier who is, or will be, deploying, then you need to get connected with The Lantern. Started as a small group, it’s grown to a once/month gathering focusing on specific topics that those affected by a deployed loved one will face. I absolutely love the direction that this ministry is headed!
Here’s a quote from their website, telling a little more about who they are:
Our story is similar to that of most Military wives. We are a group of women made up of mothers, professionals, students, exercise-aholics, scrap-bookers, and divorcees from all over the country and all faith backgrounds, who are married to the Military, er, men in the Military. We have learned, often through painful trial and error, that we cannot continue to burden the challenges that come with a Military lifestyle alone. We have learned that when we rely on our own strengths, experiences, and plans to get through deployment and reintegration periods (often many periods), we fall short and our marriages, children, careers, and mental sanity suffer. It is only when we give our lives back to the One who made them that we are able, through His strength, love, and incredible grace, to live full lives despite our current circumstances.
Here’s a video we put together to help promote this ministry that will start on Thursday, February 18th, and continue every 2nd Thursday of the month, but check the calendar for specifics.
Whether you’re a church leader, a business leader, a small group leader, or the leader of a local gang, you should constantly evaluate your system.
We just had a small groups launch yesterday at Grace Community Church. 10 new small groups launched, with over 150 people committing to joining new groups. Amazing, right?!?
There’s room for improvement.
There was room for improvement last time we had Connect.
There was room for improvement this time.
I’m not a prophet, but I’m going to make a statement that will inevitably come true: There will be room for improvement next time.
We don’t allow these problems to cripple us, but rather we learn and grow from them. Some we can’t help. But others we can.
I’m willing to change the system, if that’s what’s needed, in order to more effectively carry out our vision.
As the old saying goes, “Don’t throw out the baby with the bathwater.” But what’s often not said:
“Go ahead and throw out that bathwater.”
This video does a great job showing group leaders what not to do.
(HT: Ron Edmondson)
What have you experienced that “kills” community?
Looking back over my spiritual growth, I can definitely notice ups and down. I have had periods of no growth and periods of slow growth. I’ve also had a few times when I’ve grown rapidly.
The most memorable time of spiritual growth for me was when I was in late high school. Every Friday night, I met with a group of my friends (about 10-12 guys) to study the Bible and talk about life. We chose various curriculums to guide us, but it was the relationships that were formed in that group that really helped me to grow in my walk with the Lord. They helped me to see the possibilities God had for me, pointed out areas of my life that needed to change, prayed for me, and helped my walk with the Lord to expand and prepare me for what God had next. Little did I know that those Friday nights would be a training ground for the call to full-time ministry that God would call me to 5 years later.
Andy Stanley says that there are 5 things God uses to grow our faith:
1. Practical Teaching
2. Providential Relationships
3. Private Disciplines
4. Personal Ministry
5. Pivotal Circumstances
I see small groups as the place where each of these is realized. Fleshed out. Nourished. Given the chance to succeed.
Looking back over my life, I can see how God has used small groups to shape me and help define the calling God placed on my life.
Have you had a similar experience? Leave a comment and brag on what God has done in your life through small groups.
God has used small groups to change my life. Have groups changed yours?
Have you ever been “Cc’d” in an email? Not even sure what I’m talking about? Let me enlighten you.
Here’s a normal email field:
See the “Cc:” line below the “To:” field?
Cc stands for Carbon Copy. You know those forms you have to fill out that have multiple copies where, if you press down hard enough, the image is stamped on all of the subsequent attached copies? The first one’s white…the second is yellow…the third, pink…the last page is black. Follow?
Carbon copies are a way of sharing multiple copies of the exact same information with people.
The same holds true with emails.
If I send an email to you, and Cc Joe, it means that I want Joe to have the same information that you have. It’s not directly addressed to him, but he needs to be included in the conversation.
There’s one more thing you need to know about: “Reply All.”
If you “reply” to said email, I will get your reply. But Joe won’t.
If you “reply all” to said email, I will get your reply, and so will Joe.
Here’s my point: I included Joe for a reason. I wanted him to be included in the conversation. I want him to know what we’re talking about. And for him to know what we’re talking about, you have to “reply all.”
It would be the same if I am having a conversation with you and Joe about an upcoming event that you will be leading. I say, “Hey, do you know who else will be coming to the event?” And you whisper back to me, “Yes, Don will be there, too.” Then Joe says back (to both of us), “I don’t know anybody else who will be there.” Then I have to say (to both of you), “Sorry, Joe, _____ whispered to me, but he should have said it out loud. Don will be there.” Then you whisper (to me), “Can’t wait to see you both there!” Then I have to tell Joe what you just told me.
Confused?
If I send you an email, and Cc somebody else, please, please, please “reply all.” There’s a reason I sent them a Cc. I want them to be in on the conversation!
Email can be a conversation…if you know how to use the Cc. The same principle can hold true in a small group, too.
If I’m leading a small group, and consistently find myself talking with the same one or two people, that’s not a small group…that’s a clique.
A good small group leader involves everybody in the discussion. They’re listening to what Joe says…and connecting it with what Sean says…and the prayer request that Debbie shared last week…and the fact that I know John lost his job. Because they, as the good small group leader, are convinced that everybody’s story matters. And they are convinced that, though Rose is quiet in the back, she’s dealing with real life issues. And, even though everybody rolls their eyes when Chris starts to talk because he dominates the conversation, Chris is a vital part of the growth of the group (because learning how to interact with Chris teaches the group patience, love, and grace).
Sure, it would be more fun to talk with “that couple” that you’ve been friends with for years. Or that girl that you think you may have a chance with. But the role of a small group leader is to pastor the whole group, which means learning to help the whole group have a conversation.
Learn to listen well. In email. And in small groups.
What kinds of things have you done in your small groups to help elicit discussion out of the whole group?
Looking for a way to discuss New Year’s resolutions with your small group? Below are some discussion questions I put together for our small groups at Grace. Feel free to use them with your group. If you’d like, you can listen to Ron Edmondson’s sermon from this past Sunday HERE (the questions were designed to somewhat parallel Sunday’s sermon).
Are you interrupted very often? How do you normally take an “interruption?”
Have you ever set out to do something, yet realize half-way through, that there was no way you could finish that project? How did that make you feel?
What were a few of your New Year’s resolutions for 2009? How long were you able to keep them?
Read the Christmas story, as told by Matthew 1-2.
Somehow, I doubt that Mary’s goal was to have a baby out of wedlock. I don’t imagine that she had always hoped and dreamed that she could one, special day, tell her fiancé that she was pregnant…and that it wasn’t his baby.
God had different plans for Mary than she likely had for herself.
How did Mary respond to the interruption by God? Women, how would you have responded?
How did Joseph respond to the interruption by God? Men, how would you have responded?
Where have you seen your plans for your life changed by the plans God had for you?
Ultimately, God’s plans for Mary were much bigger, farther-reaching, and glorious than any Mary could have dreamed up herself.
Has this felt like a relatively good year or a relatively bad year? Were you able to accomplish all of your goals, or did “interruptions” get in your way?
What kind of plans do you have for the new year? How do you plan to do things differently in 2010 than in years past?
What kinds of things do you see that God may use you to do?
Turn to the person on your right. What kind of plans do you think God could use them to do this next year? What could He do in and through them?
Never quit dreaming.
…you can walk into church without anybody knowing you
…you leave church without anybody knowing you
…you’ve backslidden
…you want to grow in your faith
…you want to help others grow in their faith
…you need a place to serve
…you need a place to grow
…you need a place to belong
…you’re curious about God
…you don’t even know where to start
…you are a new believer
…you are a mature believer
…you are divorced
…you have children
…you cannot have children
…you “have it together”
…everybody else knows you don’t “have it together”
…you have a great family
…your family is rotten
…you don’t have any family
…you have lots of friends, but none that share your values
…you don’t have any friends who encourage you
…you don’t have any friends who hold you accountable
…you don’t have any friends, period
…life has fallen apart
…you know life will soon fall apart
…you have lots of free time
…you don’t have any free time
…you don’t have parenthood figured out yet
…you don’t have marriage figured out yet
…you don’t have singleness figured out yet
…life is tough right now
…you find that living the Christian life is difficult
…you erroneously think living the Christian life is easy
…you can never seem to think of things to pray for
…you have a house (or apartment) that can seat more than 2 people
…your story is still in progress
What would you add to this list?
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