Today marks 2 years for my blog!
If you’ve just gotten on board, welcome! Here’s a snapshot of what goes on here at Life and Theology:
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Rex, our 1 year old son, is walking. Well…sort of. He’s taking lots of steps. But he’s taking lots of falls, too. In fact, at least half of every attempt at walking ends up with him falling to the ground. Does that mean that I scold him and shame him for even trying to take a step? Constantly tell him he should’ve tried harder? Should’ve asked God for more help? That now he may never be able to walk?
We’d like to think that change happens overnight. But in reality, it rarely does. I mean, we reward the overnight change. We give those people stage time. We herald their stories on videos and movies. We stand shocked when those folks share their stories with us. We want to capture them on video so that the rest of our church can see them. We venerate the “big” salvation experiences.
Oftentimes, change is much slower than we’d like.
More often than not, it’s, “I got saved 2 years ago, and I’m still struggling.” or “I got saved 6 months ago, and still have to fight against sin on a weekly…daily…hourly…basis.” or “I’ve been saved since I was 16, and I’ve been fighting against sin, but I still mess up…but with the power of Christ, I soldier on.”
I’ve written about Josh Hamilton before, HERE. He’s got one of “those stories.” However, even after having gone public with his fight against drugs and alcohol, after having been saved, after having been restored to his family, he messed up. But you know what he did after he messed up? He told his wife and his family. He sought their forgiveness. And they granted it.
Change, at one level, happens in an instant. We are saved, from one specific point in history, forever into eternity. But from another, very real aspect, we’re still in the process of being saved. Let’s be honest about this.
You’re not perfect. Neither am I. Lets take off the mask and quit acting like something we’re not.
I cheer for Rex every time I see him take a step. Because that’s one step closer to walking.
Do you need encouragement? I’ll clap for you.
How can you celebrate and encourage someone today who’s taken a step towards Christ?
My son had his first birthday yesterday. I can’t believe how quickly this year has flown! I’ve learned a lot about parenting, about children, about faith, and about myself.
Anne Jackson, at a breakout session at the recent Catalyst Conference in Atlanta, said that it’s dangerous to blog about difficulties that you’re in the middle of. It’s good to be open and honest about your struggles, but she wisely pointed out that it’s better to write about issues which you’re already having victory over. I agree with this. Which is why it makes it so dangerous for me to write on parenting…I’m right in the middle of it!
So, knowing that it’s dangerous for me to write about parenting, I’ll limit it to this first year:
I left my list at 9 so that you could add number 10.
What did you learn/are still learning from your first year of parenting?
For a list of my other parenting posts, click HERE.
I serve at an unbelievably awesome church. I won’t go into all of the reasons why I feel that way, but I’ll talk about one reason here.
We are a church that cares about families. One way that we do that is by giving parents and children opportunities to talk about important matters of faith. Children and parents typically go their separate ways on Sunday mornings, right? Children to the children’s area, parents to the sanctuary…or Starbucks, if they really don’t like the preacher. I’m not challenging this at all. In fact, it’s probably best that parents have a separate area on Sunday mornings (the whole Starbucks thing, though…yeah, that’s probably not best). However, this does not negate the fact that parents and children need to talk about God…together!
This may be revolutionary to you, but it is not the job of the local church to be the primary voice of truth and training for your children. That’s the job of their parents! Parents should not abdicate their role to the youth pastor or children’s pastor.
Deuteronomy 6:4-7 says, “Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” (emphasis mine)
Talking to children “when you sit at home…walk along the road…lie down and get up” only makes sense in the context of a family…not the local church. The local church’s role is to equip parents to do what God has called them to do, helping them to live out their faith with their children.
So, in order to not step on the toes of parents whose job it is to teach their children how to honor the Lord, in addition to giving parents tools each week on Sunday morning (to continue the conversation started in their child’s small group), we have a once/month event. This event, called Cross Street Live (for children k-5th grade), is designed to communicate the truths of Scripture in a way that is fun and engaging for children. The catch is that the parents are required to attend as well, thus exposing them to the truth and giving them topics to talk about with their children.
Sound like something you’d be interested in? Great! It’s open to the public, and it starts this Sunday, September 20th! All of the information is listed on the Cross Street Live website.
Will you be there?
Check out this video. (sorry, I’m having trouble embedding videos onto my blog, so I had to provide a link)
My son is only 10 months old, but I can already see that he loves it when I show him that I’m proud of what he’s done. He beams with pride when I am excited about his accomplishments.
Children need their parents’ support. They need us to be proud of their achievements. They need us to get down in the dirt and play. Be made to look silly sometimes. Sacrifice time, resources, energy, and our free time…to attend one of their games…one of their dance competitions…to play in the back yard…to teach them how to ride a bike…how to drive a car. In short, they need us to love them.
Isn’t that what God did?
Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of a servant,
being made in human likeness.
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death—
even death on a cross!
Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
and gave him the name that is above every name,
that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord,
to the glory of God the Father. –Philippians 2:3-11
Whether you like golf or not, Phil Mickelson is a likable kind of guy. I love how he’s willing to take the risky shot from behind a tree that everybody else would be afraid to take. He’s not scared to fire a 4-iron at a pin that’s tucked into the back corner of a green guarded by bunkers and water. Instead of playing it safe, he’ll flop a wedge from a buried lie in the trap to a pin position that’s running away from him on a green that is slicker than putting in your bathtub. Though it is that same “grip it and rip it” attitude that costs him championship titles, you’ve got to love his win-at-all-costs attitude.
What I also respect about Phil is his devotion to his family off of the course. I remember the 1999 US Open. His wife, Amy, was pregnant and was due any day. He was fighting for the lead (and this would be his first Major win, so this tournament was really important to him) with Payne Stewart, but the tournament wasn’t of first importance. Of first importance was his wife and soon-to-be-born daughter. So he carried a pager with him all week, ready to walk off the course the instant he received the page from his wife.
Now, nearly 10 years later, Amy has been diagnosed with breast cancer. So what is Phil to do? Continue traveling with the PGA tour? Pour more and more hours into his job to avoid the difficulties of home? No. Phil is taking time off to be with his wife and family (granted, Phil has more money than most, and so has the freedom to take time off and still financially survive). To me, that’s a noble move.
Phil has put his reputation on the line in order to make his family more important than his job. Investing in his family is more important than getting that next big win.
Maybe we husbands could learn something from Phil. Lets evaluate what is of utmost importance to us. Is it our job? Our reputation? That next “big win”? Or is it our family?
Here’s a tribute to one of the craziest shots I ever saw Phil make.
I ended up buying a card for my dad for Father’s Day, but felt lame doing it. I think that most of that canned stuff is lame…I didn’t write it, but I’ll sign my name to it as if I did! Anybody else feel like that? Basically, in getting a card, I feel like I’m saying, “How can I be heartfelt and lazy at the same time?” Can those two even go together?
I’ve been ruminating a lot about my relationship with my dad and my new relationship with my son (he’s 8 months old this week!). In honor of him, and of his day yesterday, here’s what I’ve got going through my head.
If you don’t know my dad, I wish you did.
Dad,
Thanks for taking time to show me
how to swing a club and sink a putt,
kick, shoot, throw, and catch a ball,
run, jump, and practice,
drive a stick shift and start a mower,
dig a hole and cut the grass.
You’ve modeled for me
how to be a good dad to my son
and a good husband to my wife,
how to read my Bible
and memorize a verse
and live out my faith.
You’ve shown me
that it’s important to work hard at everything
and strive for excellence in all I do
but that work is never more important than being with family.
I’ve seen you laugh, cry, teach, coach, love, serve, grow, succeed,
invest in church, community, your work, and your family.
You’ve gone out of your way to show me how to be a man.
A Christ-follower.
A leader.
A servant.
A friend.
A husband.
A father.
You’ll probably never see the full fruits of your investment.
But it’s worth all of your effort.
Thanks for 27 years of being a great dad.
Have you ever read the childrens book, Where the Wild Things Are? I loved that book when I was a kid! I recently heard about the movie that’s coming out this Fall (update: Released October, 2009), and I’m already getting excited about it. I’ve posted the trailer below, but thought I’d give a few thoughts on the book first.
I never realized how weird the book is. Honestly, it’s a bit strange on first reading. If you haven’t read it in a while, here’s a video of a reading of Where the Wild Things Are:
Here is my take from the book.
The pros:
1. It paints quite an accurate picture of the mind of boys. Boys long for adventure. They long for something bigger than themselves. Max’s imagination runs wild as he sails across the sea, meets monsters, and rules over these mean, dangerous beasts. What boy doesn’t want to rule over dangerous creatures? Boys don’t want to be subdued by them!
2. The book shows that there is punishment for misbehavior. However you choose to discipline your children, you must discipline them!
3. Max’s parents show him love when they put a hot plate of food in his room. Discipline must be followed up by love (though I would argue that discipline is a loving act, I’ll do that in another post). At the time that I am writing this post, my son is almost 6 months old. He would not quite understand discipline yet. However, when he does, rest assured that we will discipline him. Each and every time we discipline him, though, we will end with hugging him and affirming our love for him. We never want him to equate discipline with only punishment. We discipline because we love, and want him to be 100% certain that we love him even though discipline is painful.
4. The artwork is fantastic. This is one thing that I loved when I was a child, and continue to appreciate today. There are many pages of monsters romping through the forest (Ok, I know…even as I write this, I feel silly talking about how I like to see monsters romping through the forest, but hang with me…), who, though they’re monsters, aren’t overly scary for children. The unique artwork is definitely a strength of the book.
The cautions:
1. First of all, be careful what you allow your children to read. Introduce material to your children with caution. Just because a book, or a movie, or a TV show, is for “children” does not mean that it’s appropriate for your child. Be discerning when it comes to stories you share with your children.
2. Is withholding food from your children the best form of punishment? I’m just saying…
3. I know that this may be a stretch, but we never see Max’s parents explain to him why he was punished, or why they gave in after some time. It’s important that children fully understand why they are being disciplined, both before and after. Max showed a heart of rebellion and pride, both in the home and in his imagination. He is disciplined because of this, but it’s important for him to understand why this is a problem, that his parents are the ones with the authority (though not in a smothering, exasperating kind of way (Ephesians 6:4)), and that his words and actions reveal deeper problems (Luke 6:45 says, “Out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.”).
4. Max is never required to obey. His parents give in after a while (they really have to give in, so that Max eats, which furthers my point…is withholding food the best form of punishment, especially if you have to give in?). Max does not obey, yet the punishment eases. Is that how real life works? If you steal money at work, and are punished for it, does the punishment simply go away after a short period of time? No! There are steps of reconciliation you must make. Proverbs 29:15 tells us, “A child who gets his own way brings shame to his mother.” Does Max truly regret rebelling against his parent’s authority?
In conclusion, I recommend reading the book, and doing so with discernment. It is a fun read for your children, and a good way to talk about deeper life issues.
Here’s the trailer for the new movie:
Have you seen the movie? What do you think?
I posted some “Grandpa-isms” last week here. One of my favorites is, “There are 4 P’s that I do for my family: provide, procreate, protect…and make memories.” I have had many laughs as I try to figure out why he continues to call them the 4 P’s. However, I think that the final one, making memories, is an important piece for dads.
I have lots of memories from childhood. Things that will stick with me forever. I still remember Mom and Dad picking me up from school and taking me and my brother to the Smoky Mountains for the weekend. Or spending every Christmas Eve with my whole family at my aunt and uncle’s house eating lasagna. Or throwing the baseball with my dad for hours on end until my arm felt like it was going to fall off. Or my dad teaching how to swing a golf club with an old cut-off, duck-taped driver he constructed for me. Or having to go to sleep early the night before a big trip to Florida so that we could wake up and get on the road before God turned the lights on, only to have to change a tire that exploded while we were pumping it up after the sun rose. These were wonderful family-building times, and memories that I cherish dearly.
I want to make memories that Rex will cherish. I want him to look back on his childhood and have fond memories of the things we did as a family. I don’t want us to be a family who is so tied up with work and ministry that we don’t carve out time daily, and extended time regularly, to be with each other. I don’t have a naive view of life that says that everything will be rosy. But I’m confident that if I invest time in my son and “bring him up in the training and instruction of the Lord,” not “exasperating him,” and work to love him, be patient with him, and encourage him daily, the Lord will shape him into a godly man. I don’t have that hope because I’m some kind of super dad. Instead, I have that hope because I serve a God who changes hearts (Ezekiel 36:26), who loves despite our failings, and ultimately works all things for our redemption (Romans 8:28-29).
One year ago today, I shared with the GCC staff that my wife and I were pregnant with our first child. I remember this exact day because it was April Fool’s day, and there were some who thought I was playing a mean joke on them. Well, turns out I wasn’t. Now, one year later, I have a 5 month old son, Rex, of whom I am incredibly proud. This last year has been unbelievable, experiencing 8 months of pregnancy with my wife (well, I can’t take much credit for that, but thought I’d throw that in there), paying hospitals and doctors SO much money, going through the stressful event of my son 4 weeks before his due date, then having to have surgery before he was 3 months old, finding out what it means to be a parent and not get more than 3 hours of sleep per night for months on end, experiencing joy like nothing else at coming home and having my son smile at me, and falling in love with my wife all over again as I see her growing into a God-honoring mother.
I can’t wait to see what the future holds for our family. I’m confident, though, that if we continue to fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and founder of our faith, God will work all things for our good (Hebrews 12:2, Romans 8:28-29). My prayer is that our marriage and parenting might point others to the life-transforming power and love of the Gospel.
Rex cheering for the greatest college, UT!
Rex and his friend, Story Vaden, hanging out
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