Category: Parenting (page 5 of 7)

The anticipation

I love being a dad.

It’s not easy, by any stretch of the imagination.  But it’s good.

And one thing that we as a family love is laughing together.  And one way I personally promote that is by tickling my son.  It makes both of us laugh hysterically.

I don’t know if you’ve ever tickled a 2-year old, but it’s pretty funny.  It’s hard not to laugh along with them.

And I noticed this the other day: my son starts laughing before I even tickle him.

I just curl up my hand, like I’m going to tickle him…and just get it close to his belly, and he starts to cringe up in laughter.  And it’s not one of those courtesy chuckles.  It’s an all-body laughter.

The anticipation plays into his overall tickle experience.

 

And I’m convinced that Sunday mornings are similar.

From week to week, we should be building anticipation as to what’s coming next time.  Whether that’s through

  • sermon series
  • serving opportunities
  • small group/Sunday alignment
  • emails saying, “Get ready…”
  • social media connections
  • website resources
  • mixing things up on Sundays so people really don’t know exactly what to expect
  • building relationships that encourage continued gathering with other believers

We should be thinking, “What’s encouraging our folks to come back next week?”* Is there a reason for a newcomer (who may or may not be a follower of Christ) to return?  How are you communicating to them that coming back next week is vital?  Are you following up throughout the week?

If you believe that the message you’re presenting is valuable, why would you not create tension and anticipation for what’s coming next?

TV shows do it.  Movies do it.  Radio talk shows create it.  Teachers create it.  Guys who want a second date build it.

If you want a second round with a visitor, you’ve got to build anticipation.

How are you building anticipation?

Should we build anticipation, or should the message simply speak for itself, standing alone?

*Before you leave theologically charged comments, let it be known…I believe that God is the one who draws and changes hearts.  He is the Motivator.  It’s his kindness that leads us to repentance.  I just don’t want anything to get in the way of that, if I can help it.

 

 

 

What keeps you up at night…

…reveals what’s important to your heart.

Here are things I’m wrestling through:

  • Is our small groups system really creating disciples?
  • Is our small groups system a great picture of Gospel community?
  • What does it look like for our whole church to be moving in the same direction?
  • What’s next?
  • Am I leading in such a way that others are growing to love God and people more?
  • Is my ministry online truly helpful?  What needs to change so that it does more good?
  • Am I leading my family well?  How can I do a better job?
  • Is my son growing towards being a man of God?

These are the things keeping me up at night.

If you’re leading an organization…what is it that is causing you to sweat, go to work early, pray more, fast more, sleep less, and work harder?

If you don’t know what that is, maybe you should stay up at night and figure it out…

One day soon afterward Jesus went up on a mountain to pray, and he prayed to God all night. At daybreak he called together all of his disciples and chose twelve of them to be apostles… – Luke 6:12-13

 

 

Playmobil Apple Store

I’m getting this for my son.  Today.

 

Do you have yours yet?

 

The words of a father

I’m a father.  I have a 2 year old son that I love dearly.

And I’m often thinking about the future for him, and how I can raise him so that he becomes a great man who loves God, loves his family, and ministers the Gospel well.

I love that I get to be around him so much, and get to play a huge role in his life.  I don’t take that for granted at all.  I mean, we eat dinner as a family every night of the week…how awesome is that?!?

But when I read THIS STORY, I was immediately convicted, and began thinking about what I would do if I were to die young.

What am I doing to pave the way for the future growth of my family?

What if I die in the next couple of years…is my family prepared for something like that?

Have I invested my time in the things that matter most?

Check this video out.  And think through your own life and family, the way you spend your time, and the preparation you’ve done for the future.

(HT: @BenArment)

 

Pee Pee and steps of faith


(Rex on his 4-wheeler, 2-20-2011)

On Sunday, my son ran up and down the halls of our church building (a high school, in fact) yelling, “Pee pee!!  Pee pee!!”

Obviously, we’re in the middle (well, that’s probably a stretch.  We’re probably closer to the beginning of this stage) of potty training.

I could’ve gotten frustrated.  Embarrassed.  Angry.  Or indifferent.  But I was none of that.

I chose to laugh.  Why?

Because it’s funny!  My 2 year old son is telling the whole world that he just peed in the toilet, not his pants.

Was it embarrassing?  Yep.

Was it frustrating, especially because he also peed in his diaper?  Yep.

But in that moment, I chose not to focus on the growth that still needed to happen.  I chose to celebrate with my son.

And we’d do well to remind ourselves that our Father rejoices over even a small step of faith.  Good fathers don’t punish their children when they pee in their diaper, even though they’re learning not to.  I don’t scold my son, even though I’ve told him countless times that he’s supposed to pee in the toilet.

Because I have the future in mind. I know that, at some point, the battle with this will be over.  We’ll work through this.  This is just a step in his journey towards maturity.  He’ll mature out of this, and in the meantime, I’m going to celebrate small steps in the right direction.

And I can’t help but think that God has the future in mind with us, too.  He has the bigger picture of our growth and maturity in mind at all times.  And yes, at times, we need discipline.  But He celebrates small steps in the right direction because He can see what we cannot.  And while we’re sitting in our own guilt and shame, God’s seeing the future, and is ready to offer us grace if we’ll just step towards Him.

But we had to celebrate and be glad, because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found. (Luke 15:32)

Do you need to remind yourself that a step in the right direction is worth celebrating?

Do you need to remind someone else of that?

 

George Washington on Courage

George Washington was a courageous man.

I knew this to be true…you can’t go through the United States public school system without studying about our country’s first President.  But I’ve recently been reminded of his heroism while reading 1776 by George McCullough.

In September of 1775, Boston was under siege by British troops.  Washington was the commander of the American military forces (which were a mishmash of untrained and largely unorganized farmers and other Yankees), and he was ready to make a bold move to recapture Boston, ending the siege.  However, there were two problems.

1. The British forces were powerful and abundant.

2. An attack on Boston, to remove the siege, could mean the destruction of the city.

But Washington wasn’t one to sit around and wait for something to happen.  So he began petitioning Congress to move troops, and begin attacking the British at Boston, because he knew how strategic and valuable the city would continue to be for the future success of the Revolutionary War.

In a letter to the governor of Rhode Island, Washington said this:

No danger is to be considered when put in competition with the magnitude of the cause.

Washington was facing lots of dangers.  Loss of significant lives.  Loss of his power and authority.  Loss of his reputation.  Loss of the city of Boston.  Loss of supplies.  Loss of time.  Loss of effort.  Loss of the colonies to the British.  But he was willing to not consider those dangers when he compared them to the magnitude of the cause…winning independence.

We could learn something from this, even today.  Because far too often, when we count the cost, we show by our actions that we believe the task is too dangerous for us.  We show fear when we don’t

  • Share our faith
  • Press in to know our own heart
  • Have a tough conversation with a friend
  • Take on that new project
  • Stop and build a relationship with someone new
  • Press in to know the heart of our children
  • Give financially until it hurts
  • Serve expecting nothing back
  • Do what God’s clearly calling us to do
  • Step out of our comfort zone

When we put the above in competition with the magnitude of the cause…they pale in comparison.  They are still dangerous…highly dangerous.  You could get burned, misunderstood, shamed, abandoned, discouraged, and broke.  But, like Washington said, these dangers aren’t to be considered when we compare them with the magnitude of the cause.  What is the cause that has such magnitude?

  • The health of our family.
  • The health of our heart. (living a life worthy of our call, Ephesians 4:1-2)
  • Serving our King faithfully.

There’s nothing else greater.

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline. – 1 Timothy 1:7

Have you ever felt yourself crippled by fear?

What was it that got you going again?

 

Sometimes traditions should change

My traditions are changing this year.

And I’m thrilled.

(Photo by Karen Long)

When I was a kid, on Christmas Eve night, we’d head over to my Aunt and Uncle’s house, eat homemade lasagna with the whole family, then come back home in time to go to sleep.  We’d wake up early on Christmas morning, open gifts with my parents, eat homemade donuts my dad made, then spend the afternoon at my Grandma and Grandpa’s house.  That was our tradition.

When I got married, my traditions changed.  Nothing went away…but lots of traditions were added.  On Christmas Eve night, we’d go to a traditional candlelight service in Winchester, TN, then head to my wife’s grandma’s house to eat and exchange gifts.  We’d get back to Clarksville about midnight, wake up and head to my parent’s house to eat homemade donuts made by my dad, then spend the afternoon at my Grandma and Grandpa’s house.  Then we’d head to my wife’s Grandma and Grandpa’s house to finish the day thoroughly exhausted.  Christmas was special…but often felt rushed and hectic.

This year, our traditions are changing again.  In a big way.  Our son is getting to the age where we want to begin crafting his Christmas traditions.  We’re treating Christmas Eve morning as our Christmas morning.  And if our family wants to see Rex (which is the only person they care about in our family, if we were truly honest with each other), they have to come to us.  Christmas Eve night, I’m thrilled to be worshipping for the first time on Christmas Eve with my church family (details HERE).  Christmas will be much more relaxed, yet we’ll still be able to spend time with all of our family.  It’ll just be spread out over a few days.

Traditions change. And that’s okay.  When we’re unwilling to change, it’s easy to work ourselves into a rut.  In that rut, we forget why we do what we do.  And we begin doing things simply because we’ve always done them…getting frustrated with anyone who questions or challenges our traditions.

Traditions change. And they should.  Because we change.  Life doesn’t stay the same.  It takes us through many different roads.  People are added.  Taken away.  And that changes the flavor of our families.

Traditions change. And if you stick so closely to your traditions, you’ll alienate many newcomers.  Take, for instance, my son.  If we were unbending in our holiday routines, he’d always view Christmas as a rushed, tiring, hectic, gifts-focused time.  I don’t want that.

So this holiday season, evaluate why you do what you do.  What is it that you, as a family, value? Don’t just continue the same traditions because you’ve always done them. Because if you’re not careful, your traditions can block you from that which you value.

What is your favorite Christmastime tradition?

Is there something new you’re doing this year?

How do you handle change?

 

Family Devotionals

To me, family devotions are kind of cheesy.

I mean, I like the concept of sitting down as a family and talking through the truths of the Bible together.  But when it comes to sitting down and actually doing it, in my head it just comes off being silly.  I keep imagining a family all cozy in their den, with the children in the pajamas, sitting around a fire.  Dad gets out his guitar, and they sing a song together.  The children are gleaming as mom and dad, in their footed pajamas, talk about how God changed their soul…at breakfast that morning.

Weird, no?

This Christmas season, though, I’ve found a new resource I’m going to try.  And I won’t be wearing any footed pajamas when I read it.

Because I really want my son to understand the beauty of the Christmas season.  Why we give gifts.  Why we decorate our house.  Why we visit family.

Because in all of the hustle and bustle of getting ready, it’s incredibly easy to forget to instill in my son the values that are driving our generosity.  I want to raise a son that understands our traditions, and celebrates them with as much life and vigor as we do.  And not just because he’s excited about getting gifts from a fat man whose belly jiggles.

Here’s the new ebook, called Christmas Reboot, written by a good friend of mine, Alan Danielson.  You should pick up a copy.  It’s only $8.

My family and I are going to be working through this throughout the holidays.  I’ll let you know how it goes.  I’m pretty stoked about it.

Will you join us?

 

Reggie Joiner and The Slow Fade

I’m at Catalyst Conference this week, and I’ll be blogging through some of the sessions that I attend.

Reggie Joiner had this to say:

Here are some statistics taken from 20-29 year olds:

  • 95% say they attended church while in middle school
  • 55% say they also attended while in high school
  • 11% say they also attended while in college

Why are we as the church not doing anything to change this?

Of those age 23-30 who stayed in church from 18-22, a mere 6% don’t currently attend church.

The problem is that the church is programmed to draw a finish line at 12th grade.  At “graduate Sunday,” it’s like it’s all over.  So what if we moved the “finish line” from high school graduation to college graduation?

Myths about college ministries:

  1. That’s what campus ministries do…not local churches. But a campus ministry isn’t the same thing as a local church.  There’s a need for peer-to-peer interaction, but also a need for intergenerational relationships
  2. This isn’t a college town or community. Yet only 25% of 18-24 year olds attend college full-time.
  3. We tried doing it before and it didn’t work. Maybe you did a program, when what they needed was leaders.
  4. We don’t know how to appeal to college students. What they’re hungry for is authenticity.
  5. There’s not enough in the budget. Yes there is.  You make room for what you prioritize.
  6. We can’t hire another staff position. This isn’t something you can hire for.  This is changing the way people think about building relationships with college students.
  7. This isn’t a long-term investment. They’ll leave as soon as they graduate.  This isn’t about a long-term investment…it’s about protecting the investment you’ve made throughout middle and high school.
  8. It’s hard to see how this benefits our church. Maybe this is just one of those things that’s bigger than your church.
  9. These are the years they should solidify their faith on their own. But there’s a difference in owning your faith and doing your faith.

Questions for your church to ponder:

What is your church doing to invest in the lives of those who are college-aged?

What are you doing to invest in the life of someone who is college-aged?

 

Me and my son

I can’t even begin to tell you how much I love my son.  While some fathers may dread spending an entire day with their son while their wife works, I truly relish it.

My son loves being silly and making people laugh.

I think he’d like your response to this video.

Rex & his silliness from Ben Reed on Vimeo.

Song from the album Slugs, Bugs, and Lullabies by Andrew Peterson and Randall Goodgame

 
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