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Category: Leadership (page 17 of 30)

The best evaluation question to ask

If you’re a leader, you evaluate.

Well…ahem…let me rephrase that.

If you’re a good leader, you evaluate. And there are plenty of activities, events, and procedures that you can and should evaluate regularly

Trainings
Meetings
Outings
New hires
New fires
System changes
New initiatives
Outreach events
Sermon series
New ideas
Old ideas
Development days
Financial spending
Outputs

…and that’s just to name a few.

Evaluation should happen across the board on a consistent basis. Here are the two questions I hear asked most often:

1. What worked?

2. What didn’t work?

They’re not bad questions. And, hopefully, changes will be made based on the answers to those questions. But more often than not, the ball stops rolling. Those two questions are momentum killers. Because most people can quickly tell you what worked. And what didn’t work? Well, let’s find someone or something to blame. OR let’s spin our wheels feeling sorry for ourselves and the money and time we wasted. *insert screeching brakes sound*

Here’s a better question:

What did you learn?

I know that seems like a subtle shift, but I think it’s an important one. Instead of just blindly evaluating what worked and what didn’t…and instead of just throwing your opinion into the ring of ideas as to who or what the culprit is for the flopping of an event, this keeps the ball moving forward.

It keeps you focused on the positives and the negatives. It helps you see that, even within the parts of an event that worked, there are things that you learned. And those things that you learned can help improve for next time. It also helps you really zone in on what you learned from the side of an idea that flopped. Instead of wallowing in your fail whale, you focus on what you can learn.

My pastor, Ron Edmondson, and I sat down after a leadership training event to evaluate. Let me be honest: it was an event that flopped. We had very little participation, very little feedback, very little growth because of the event, and to top it all off…it was expensive.

When we evaluated, we jumped right into the question: What did you learn? I had learned plenty. This question helped get the momentum moving in the right direction after progress had screeched to a halt.

Any initiative can improve if you’re willing to learn. Even the best ones.

Any failure can be a step forward if you learn from your missteps.

The question for you is this:

Are you willing to learn?

Have you learned from a flopped idea?

The #1 way a young leader can gain influence

June 14, 2011 / Ben Reed / 9 Comments

Young leaders often feel behind the curve.

Every meeting they attend, every team they lead, every trip they plan…they’re the youngest and least experienced. And, in my case, I’ve been in the room where everybody present had children older than me.

I can’t tell you how many looks I was flashed that said, “How cute…he’s trying to lead us…isn’t that neat?!?” As a leader, that’s frustrating.

When I started in my current role, I was the youngest on staff.

When I started in my current role, I was the younger than every one of the small group leaders at Grace.

But over time, I’ve been able to grow some level of influence. And here’s one principle I’ve learned:

Be faithful in the little things.

If I was given a task, even if it didn’t directly relate to my area of leadership, I worked to make sure I completed the task well. Not just half-heartedly, but with excellence.

If I took on a new responsibility, I made sure that I was 100% faithful, to the best of my abilities and even more so, to exceed expectations.

And this principle is biblical:

One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much… – Luke 16:10

It’s the little things, the smaller responsibilities, that are the greatest test of character, not the bigger ones. Letting the ball drop on the “little things” is a symptom of a heart that’s not ready for bigger, weightier things.

If you’re given smaller, less significant assignments and you fail to meet and exceed expectations, why would those who are in leadership over you trust you to meet and exceed expectations in more significant roles?

The insignificant tasks you take on early in leadership may be just that…insignificant. Except for one thing: they show your character. And if you want to gain influence, character (even more than age and experience) is key.

A certain level of trust must be granted to you because you’re young. But a deeper, more substantial level of trust, the one you’re looking for, is earned.

Trust is earned one faithful step at a time.

Be faithful in the small steps. It’ll pay off in time.

Have you ever dropped the ball on a small responsibility?

Did you see that affect your influence?

5 easy ways to make your small group fun

June 13, 2011 / Ben Reed / 1 Comment

How do you build enjoyment into your small group?

photo by iStockPhoto.com/nano

Because if you’ve ever been a part of a small group that’s boring, you know that humor, laughter, and fun don’t happen naturally. And what one person find amusing, another can find offensive. Fortunately, although the presence of humor and fun can’t be guaranteed, group leaders can help ensure there’s freedom and space to pursue it.

5 Easy Ways to make your small group fun

1. Don’t plan to start on time.

If you start right off the bat with the study questions, you show quickly that you don’t prioritize your group members as individuals. You only prioritize getting through the curriculum. Plan on a casual start to your group each week. My group builds in 30 minutes (at least) each week before we start the study.

2. Include food!

There’s something about food that seems to break down walls of resistance. Eating with your group around a table (or, if you prefer, standing up while eating snacks) helps to build a tight-knit community.

3. End on time, but don’t end on time.

When you finish with the study questions and close in prayer, make sure to be done in time for group members to hang around and enjoy each other’s company each week.

4. Plan for some fun.

Maybe your group needs to put down the book one night and just do a good old fashioned pot luck. Or game night. Or go bowling. Or go hang out at the park. Or grill out. Or have a chili cook-off. These events can lead to a much richer study time when you pick the books back up. Also, plan it during the time you normally gather for small group; this way, you can reasonably assume your group members have blocked off that time each week.

5. Plan extra-group activities.

Pick a random Friday night and have a girls’ night out. If you have children, have the dads gather to offer childcare for the night. Then switch for the next week. Or go on a camping trip. Or go to the lake. Or go out to eat on Sunday after church.

If you truly desire to build a community of people who love and care for each other, will go to bat for each other, and consistently encourage each other—find a way to have some fun. You’ll find yourself eagerly anticipating your meeting time together each week. You’ll be less likely to burn out. And your group will find a renewed energy each week.

They can thank me later.

If I haven’t yet, allow me to convince you why it’s vital for the health of your small group to incorporate “fun” into its life. Read my thoughts HERE.

*I originally published this for smallgroups.com

6 vital reasons to incorporate fun into your small groups

June 9, 2011 / Ben Reed / 5 Comments

Dear Small-Group Pastor,

I just want to take a minute to say that we’re all proud of the way you’ve done your research and found the most biblical curriculum. You’ve trained your small-group leaders to have airtight, foolproof theology. They can move from a discussion on the Nephilim to ecclesiology, then weave in a bit of distinction between Calvinism, the resurrection, and eschatology.

You’ve taught your group leaders how to facilitate a discussion, minister to the EGRs, fill the empty chair, raise up apprentice leaders, and plant new groups. You’ve helped groups become more “missional” by consistently serving their neighborhoods and communities. Group members are working to baptize and make disciples of all nations, starting with their families and neighbors.

But one thing is missing. Small groups aren’t fun. Sometimes they’re boring, actually. Sometimes people only come because they feel like they are supposed to.

So here’s my plea to you, small-group champion: incorporate fun, life, and humor into the small groups at your church.

Why to Focus on Fun

1. If it’s not fun, people won’t come back.

It’s possible to get more information in a more convenient time in a more convenient way through many other means. Podcasts, books, blogs, and forums offer information and discussion environments at any time of the day, every day of the year. What separates small groups from each of these environments is the relationship, face-to-face aspect. Make sure you maximize this!

2. If there’s no fun, it’s not reflective of real life.

If your group is intensely serious, it can drain the life right out of people. We’re only wired to take so much seriousness. And often, our work environments give us plenty of seriousness.

3. If there’s no laughter, people are missing out on great medicine.

“A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones” (Proverbs 17:22). Maybe what hurting people need isn’t more medicine, but a healthy small group. They need to laugh together so hard that they snort. They need to laugh at themselves. They need to laugh at a corny joke. Because God has wired us to receive healing through laughter. I’m not sure how it works, but after a difficult day at work—with the kids, with finances, with in-laws—laughing helps to melt away stress and anxiety, bringing healing to your aching bones.

4. Have you ever belly-laughed?

Seriously, there’s not much that’s more redemptive than belly-laughing with someone in your small group. If you’ve laughed that way, from your gut, you know what I mean. If you haven’t, then I sincerely weep for you. Join my small group, please—we’ll show you how to do it.

5. When we have fun together, we show others that we serve a good God.

Check this out: “Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with shouts of joy; then they said among the nations, ‘The Lord has done great things for them'” (Psalm 126:2). Did you catch that? When our mouths are filled with laughter, others are convinced that God has done great things among us. Could the flip-side be true? If our mouths aren’t filled with laughter, could people become convinced that the God we serve isn’t good? That he doesn’t take delight in loving is people? That the God we give witness to is ultimately boring, and the eternity with him that we say will be wonderful is painted as dull and lifeless?

6. Laughter builds community.

Laughing together can help your group bond in a rich way very quickly. Don’t neglect times of fun and laughing. Relish those times together. Jokes that carry from week to week, laughing at random things, and having fun together help set the stage for deep discussions, building trust among those in your group.

Convinced?

Have you ever been a part of a boring small group?

*I originally published this for smallgroups.com

My struggles

June 9, 2011 / Ben Reed / 10 Comments

I wouldn’t call myself an insecure child.

photo by Jason Harper

But little thoughts pop into my head, and it reminds me that I’m still human.

I’m still a sinner.

I still need encouragement.

I still need grace.

I still need Truth.

And I don’t lean in close to my King often enough.

Here are questions that pop into my head.

Why can’t I blog like him? He just started!
Why can’t I speak as well as he does? I went to school for this stuff!
Why can’t I write a book like she did?
Why can’t I think about systems as well as he does?
Why can’t I work out as often as he does?
Why can’t I be a stronger leader like him?
Why can’t I communicate as clearly as she does?
Why am I not as disciplined as they are?
Why can I not read as many books as he does?
Why can’t I be better at fixing things like he is?

See how my warped mind works?

I need to remind myself that my strengths are mine. Your strengths are yours. And that’s a good thing.

I need to get over the fact that I can’t be good at everything. I need to be good at where God’s gifted me and what He’s called me to be and do.

Reminder to self:

God’s not gifted you with all of the gifts. If He did, you’d be God. Learn from other people and marvel at the grace and beauty of God.

Am I the only one that asks these questions?

What insecurity struggles are you facing?

How to virally spread your idea

June 8, 2011 / Ben Reed / 12 Comments

According to Strengths Finder, I’m a “Learner.” Which means that I thrive in an environment where I get to learn and grow.

In fact, sometimes the process of learning is more exciting to me than the outcome. Weird, I know. Don’t judge me.

A few years back, I stepped into the role of small groups pastor at Grace Community Church. I had never been a small groups pastor before. I knew little to nothing about small groups. My past experience had been primarily with Sunday School. And my work in ministry had been primarily with people younger than me. I was in over my head.

But the prospect of learning a new skill, a new philosophy, gave me great energy. Maybe my process of learning, growing, and sharing can help you with your idea.

I get much more done through collaboration than working on my own. Here’s how I do it:

Build communities–>compile ideas–>implement locally–>compile ideas–>build communities

Build communities. Reach far and wide. Even outside of your normal circle. Talk with people in unrelated fields. At some level, innovation is innovation. And there’s something you can learn from Coca Cola, even if you’re in the business of selling cars. Skip this step and you’ll box yourself in to small ideas.

Compile ideas with a smaller group. This is industry-specific. Find the leading thought generators in your industry, and start picking their brain. Learn from them. Try to understand why they do what they do. What successes are they having? What failures have they experienced? These people may not be implementing concepts exactly like you would…mainly because only you are in your context. Skip this step and you’ll miss the learning from industry leaders.

Implement locally with your team. Take the ideas, principles, stories, and innovations from the entire funnel and begin integrating them into your organizational structure. This is where the hard work begins, in my opinion. It’s no longer about just generating ideas, and operating in the clouds of thought. This is where the rubber meets the road. And if you do the hard work necessary at this level, real change begins to happen. Skip this step and you’ll have no credibility in your industry…and you’ll have done no real work.

Compile ideas. As you implement locally, you have something to offer to others in your field. Continue to grow, expand, and effect change. Others within your line of work, who are trying to do what you’re doing but are having a tough time getting results like you are, will take notice. A word of advice at this level: share generously. Give away your knowledge, your stories, and your secrets. The new wave of marketing, sales, and online social media is built on being generous with information and insights…not with hoarding that information. You’ll get your payback, but it may not come in traditional forms. As you share with others in your field, you may gain coveted networking opportunities or even become a leader in your industry. Other highly touted workers in the field may begin seeking you out as a place of employment. Tangible results? You bet. Immediate? Not a chance. Skip this step and others in your industry who need your innovation will never see it.

Build communities. As you’ve implemented your strategy at the local and industry level, others outside of your industry will begin to take notice. Because, remember, innovation is innovation. Your strategy will likely work across multiple platforms. But you’ll never make it to this stage if you haven’t generously given of yourself and your time throughout the other stages. We need your idea. But if you don’t work to build communities, networking even with people not like you, we’re never going to hear it. Skip this step and your ideas and principles never leave your industry.

This is how I grew from knowing nothing about an industry (small groups) to sharing ideas globally.

Is your idea worth spreading virally?

If not, find a new idea.

Have you experienced influence at the “compiling ideas” level? How about at the “Broad community” level?

Do you desire to share ideas globally?

Let’s speak Gibberish

June 1, 2011 / Ben Reed / 5 Comments

My wife and I recently went to the beach, and saw a strange sight.

There were four ladies standing in a circle, obviously together and doing something. We, not being nosey, passed on by.

It’s blurred…don’t judge me for taking a “curious” pic

But I couldn’t help overhearing them talking. And I couldn’t help noticing that it was another language, one that I didn’t understand. I didn’t think anything about it. My wife and I moseyed on, looking for sea glass as the sun rose. But then I heard a little English.

Oh, look who’s here! It’s _____. Yeaaaaaaaah! (*said very loudly)

So apparently _____ is a popular person. Then I heard this little diddy drop:

You guys ready? Let’s speak some gibberish!

So…I figured out what that “foreign” language was that the ladies were speaking. Gibberish. Nonsense. Unintelligible words. They would speak this gibberish, and, from a distance, appeared to be having a perfectly normal conversation. Then they would force laughter (it wasn’t natural…just trust me on that) that was heard all the way across the beach.

And you know when you hear people laughing, and it makes you want to laugh, too? Yeah, this wasn’t that kind of laughter. It was just weird.

Confession: I don’t know what they were doing. They may have been practicing for improv. They may have been just purely being silly. They may be a strange cult. I don’t know. But as an outsider, it was strange. Borderline creepy.

And I think that this is how many people view our local churches. And when we don’t keep them in mind when we structure our Sunday morning experiences, we keep them at the edge. Here’s what I was thinking when I saw the women, and what I believe outsiders think of our local churches.

Local Churches & The Gibberish People

The closer I get the weirder they’ll be.

I heard enough to know that I didn’t want to get any closer to this group. Offer new folks the chance to see your church at a snapshot. Make it easy for them to try community out. Easy to serve. Easy to test the waters. You know that if they experience community, they’ll want more. So make it easier to get close.

They’re really speaking another language I don’t understand.

In our churches, we have to be careful with the language we use. Loading our services with “churchy” talk just makes people feel like we’re speaking another language. Using normal, everyday language communicates that we value “outsiders.”

They don’t want me or need me.

This group was completely self-sufficient and satisfied without me. Don’t let your church convey the same thing. Having a system in place for them to plug into healthy community and service is huge. Expose the holes you have on Sunday mornings. Expose the holes you have in accomplishing your vision to reach your community. And ask people to help plug in. Most people want to know that they bring something to the table and can contribute.

I don’t have a need for that silliness.

Churches should be careful to articulate why we do what we do. Cast the vision regularly for why you do small groups, take up the offering, serve your community, and sing songs. Don’t leave it up to people’s imagination. Help them understand why you do what you do.

They just care about themselves.

May this never be an attitude of our churches. Ever. We don’t exist for ourselves. (Philippians 2:4)

It’s not wrong for these women to do what they were doing. But it may be wrong for churches to adopt some of their practices.

Do you consciously think about “outsiders” when you enter the building on Sunday mornings?

How are you intentionally structuring things so that everyone feels welcomed?

Lessons from a plane ride

May 26, 2011 / Ben Reed / 7 Comments

You may never guess it, but you can learn a lot while riding on a plane.

Most people just blow right past social etiquette. It’s like those unspoken “rules” and understandings just don’t apply when you’re sitting beside someone on a plane. It’s a strange phenomenon.

When you break social rules, people feel awkward. It’s tough to build significant relationships if you ignore them. And if you’re convinced that your message is worth sharing, take note of the below “rules.” If you’re not convinced your message is worth sharing, please quit reading and go find a better message.

8 rules I learned while riding on a plane

Don’t be the guy that’s always late.

It’s okay to be late occasionally. But when you being late causes everybody else’s life to be placed on hold, you quickly become the enemy in the room.

Don’t be the guy that always complains.

I get it…life’s tough. Yours is, and so is mine. Quit whining and move on. Take responsibility for your growth and begin moving in the right direction. If you need help, ask. But don’t just complain.

Don’t be the guy that talks incessantly.

Learn to shut your mouth. Being a good friend means listening, too. If I know your whole life story and you don’t even know my name…something’s out of balance.

Don’t be the guy that’s always slamming pop culture.

If you hate it that much, just stop talking about it. Nobody else despises it as much as you do, and you’re just alienating people.

Think seriously about how you’re going to introduce yourself.

On one leg of my flight, the lady beside me opened with, “I have to warn you. I will probably kick you on this flight.” Not a great way to say hello. Being friendly goes a long way in building a relationship.

Don’t be the guy that turns every single conversation back to “Jesus.”

Jon Acuff refers to this as the “Jesus juke,” turning a normal conversation into a spiritual moment of shame. Just enjoy someone’s company. There are times to interject comments, stories, and experiences that help people understand who you are and who Jesus is. But if we’re talking about sports, don’t shame me for watching football instead of reading my Bible.

Don’t be the guy that farts on a plane.

Farting on a plane is like the ultimate dutch oven. For everyone on the plane.

Don’t be the guy that eats a hard-boiled egg on a plane.

It smells bad. It looks weird. And dredging your egg through salt on your tiny napkin is just strange.

Building relationships is tough work. Don’t make it harder by breaking these rules. Whether you’re working online in social media or sharing your faith or trying to build influence or investing in your small group ministry, relationships matter.

Ever broken any of these social “rules”?

What other social “no-no” rules would you add?

Building a better Airline

May 17, 2011 / Ben Reed / 10 Comments

I recently flew Delta Airlines, and noticed a promo sign that said this:

Building a Better Airline, not just a bigger one

Say what you want about Delta, but this (relatively) new initiative is a strong one. In an industry marked by frustration over lost baggage, TSA joys, and cancelled flights, Delta is trying to give the customer a better experience. They’re trying to build a better airline.

There are two key words here in their new strategy, “Building a Better Airline, not just a bigger one” that I think church leaders could learn from.

How can churches build better, not just bigger?

1. A Better experience

Delta is looking to build their company on standards and procedures that set them apart from everyone else. They’re changing things up and implementing new ideas that position them as the leaders in their industry because the services and conveniences they offer serve their customers more efficiently, effectively, and liberally. Case-in-point: there’s a TV on the back of each headrest. And they offer lots of free programming.

If you’re a part of a local church and you’re not thinking, “How can we serve our congregation and our community more efficiently, effectively, and liberally?” then you’re not asking the right questions. You’re not wrestling through the right things.

2. A “bigger” company

Notice one word: “not just a bigger one.” They are looking to build a bigger company, it’s just not the only thing they’re looking to do. See, there’s nothing wrong with growth. In fact, if they weren’t looking to build a bigger company, I’d wonder why they’re even in business. Individuals (or groups) launch a business to see it grow, no?

Should churches be any different? *

We want our churches to grow numerically, right? If not, why do we even exist? Of what value is the Great Commission? Why would the Bible include numbers when it referred to the early, New Testament church in the book of Acts, where God was adding thousands daily? If numbers didn’t matter, why include them?

Numbers aren’t just blind figures.

They’re people. They represent a person who is far from the Lord. One who needs to hear the Gospel. One who needs Hope. One who needs encouragement. One who needs to understand God’s grace.

“Numbers” aren’t our motivating factor…but sharing the Gospel and making disciples of people (in an increasing number) is our motivation. So numbers do matter. **

How is your local church working to offer a “better” experience for “customers”?

Do the numbers really matter?

* I understand that the strategy of some churches is to send people out, and keep the numbers on their campus lower. This is a viable strategy…but one in which these churches still should value numbers.

** This is a Ron Edmondson-ism.

Quit trying to be funny

May 9, 2011 / Ben Reed / 6 Comments

Want a snapshot into my thought process? Here you go.

image by Beaty Bass

Me: I could write a blog off of this thought:

If you’re not funny, don’t try to be.

Because I read something the other day where someone was trying to be funny, and they weren’t. It was painful.

My brain: But you write things that you think are funny. And they’re not. So they’re painful.

Me: Ouch.

My brain: Don’t judge people on a funniness scale.

Me: I don’t mean to jud…

My brain: And who made you the funny judge, anyway?

Me: …

My brain: And isn’t “funny” subjective? What’s funny to you may not be funny to everyone.

Me: Well, ok. But some things just aren’t funny. Case-in-point: well, um…I can’t think of one right now. But you know what I mean.

My brain: You mean that there are some things that just aren’t universally funny. Right?

Me: Yeah.

My brain: There you go again. Judging “funny” purely by what you find “funny.”

Me: But why would someone write something intending to be funny, when they’re not?

My brain: Hey, you don’t have to read their stuff…

Me: I guess not, but…

My brain: No, you don’t. Just quit reading.

Me: I guess you’re right. Nobody is forcing me to read. That would be weird if they did.

My brain: Don’t you write from your own experiences?

Me: Yes.

My brain: And aren’t your experiences sometimes funny to you?

Me: Yes.

My brain: Boom! Then you just contradicted yourself. You’re funny to you, but not to everyone. Isn’t this what you’re frustrated with other writers about?

Me: I suppose…

My brain: And are you forcing anyone to read your stuff?

Me: I sure hope not.

My brain: What kind of an answer is that? It’s either a “yes” or a “no.”

Me: I guess that realizing there are countless voices out there, and that those non-funny funny guys can have their voice, too, is good.

My brain: Finally. You get it. It doesn’t matter. They’re funny to someone.

Me: Be who you are, and let others be who they are. Hey, I think I’ll Twitter that. Wait, no. I’m having an important internal dialogue right now. Stick with it.

My brain: What just happened right there?

Me: Sorry. …But can’t I be a little critical? Bust on people a little when they’re not funny?

My brain: Nope. Again…you’re not that funny to most people.

Me: Ok, ok…I get it. I’m not funny either. Will you lighten up already?

My brain: You need to lighten up. Give people the freedom to express themselves however they want.

Me: Fair enough.

See what I have to deal with? Here’s my own takeaway from my own thought process:

I’ll let you be you.

In fact, let me take that one step further.

Please, please…you be you.

We need you. Your brand of humor. Your style of relating. Your way of leading. Your ideas, passions, giftings, and set of failures. Your training, your taste, and your family dynamics.

Don’t be me. I won’t be you.

And, I promise…I won’t judge you for being you.

Just as our bodies have many parts and each part has a special function, so it is with Christ’s body. We are many parts of one body, and we all belong to each other. In his grace, God has given us different gifts for doing certain things well. (Romans 12:4-6)