My friend, Brad House (on Twitter HERE), has written a book, Community: Taking Your Small Groups off Life Support, that calls on you to wake up to the life-changing, community-altering reality of biblical, authentic, Gospel-centered community.
This book will challenge you to take your groups to the next level, equipping your church to facilitate small groups focused on transformation through the Gospel.
Check out this promo, then pick up a copy HERE.
Creative Commons: Dustin and Jenae
Confession: I just may have learned more while working at a coffee shop than I did in graduate school.
I learned plenty of theory in school…but it was ‘real life’ that I learned while working for slightly more than minimum wage with a group of folks who could care less about what I was studying in books written by dead guys.
I developed some amazing relationships while I worked there. With real people who had real problems and real objections and real passions. It became a way that I stayed grounded while being immersed in the world of ivory towers.
Many days, my coworkers and I would talk back and forth about religion, theology, and finding God. They coworkers were always open to an honest dialog, and their responses were much more…*colorful*…than most “church” people share. Which I found refreshing.
We rarely agreed on any matters of faith. But it was okay. We could still work together and serve together even though we were on opposite pages on many key issues.
But I found that there was one thing that caused everyone in the store to bristle up. It didn’t matter if you were a theologian or a hater of all things faith-based. Injustice trumped all of that.
I could be having a dialog about why God exists, with the other person digging in their heels as to why they believe that all of life is just an accident…when out of the blue, one of our coworkers would get chewed out by a customer. And you know what didn’t matter at that moment?
What we believed about God.
We would all rally around that coworker and find out how we could remedy the situation.
One night, we were closed for the evening, and a customer tried to come through drive thru and order a drink. The customer ripped the barista apart for being closed. Injustice. You think the only ones who responded were the ones who believed in an ultimate Creator? Nope. Everyone did.
Fighting injustice together was much more powerful than my talks on apologetics and theology.
One time, 3 people went out of their way to give 5-star service selflessly. The customer stormed off, still angry that her coffee wasn’t perfect, not even acknowledging the sacrifice that the barista made. Injustice. The rest of the baristas felt that injustice and were angry for them.
Once, our ‘tip jar’ was stolen. Which meant that, for that week, each person lost out on a grand total of $1.23. Not a huge deal, right? But that injustice caused all of the workers to get fired up, angry that they (and their friends) were unjustly treated.
I share these things to point out that it doesn’t matter what you believe about God. Whether you’re a 5-point Calvinist, an Evolutionary Creationist, a Deutero-Isaiah-ite, or admittedly a non-follower-of-Christ, injustice is injustice. You don’t’ even have to believe in God for injustice to find you and stir you up.
So is injustice a better apologetic?
We talked in grad school about the theological concept that God’s law is written on even the hearts of people who don’t believe in God (Romans 1:19-23). I got to see this practically fleshed out.
Finding common ground is essential any time you’re trying to defend your faith. But instead of just finding common intellectual ground, you may find more unity around the concept of injustice. Because we all hate it.
He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God. – Micah 6:8
Question:
Does ‘injustice’ get you fired up?
Is injustice a better apologetic than traditional, rationally and intellectually-driven methods?
*Photo by Dustin & Jenae
Creative Commons: Will G
Love is a lot like fire.
The more you give, the more it grows.
Come to think of it, so is
Try to hoard any of these, and the flame goes out. For you and for others.
Share them copiously, and you’ll see the blaze take over your life.
What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? – James 2:14
image via Naima Williams
At night, the last thing my wife and I do with our son is pray for, and with, him. One thing we always do is ask him who he’d like to pray for, because we want to get him in the habit of praying for people that he knows and loves. And he’s gotten pretty good at remembering people.
It’s a cool thing to be able to tell our friends and family, “Hey, Rex prayed for you by name last night.”
But lately, I think he’s picked up on the fact that the more names he suggests, the longer that “bedtime” is prolonged.
The more names he suggests, the longer mom and dad stay in my room.
The more names he suggest, the longer the light stays on.
He’s even begun naming, and praying for, things like his Mac Truck, the light (which he immediately reminds us that “Daddy” and “Poppy” fixed), his “Chloe” (a stuffed animal dog he likes to sleep with), his trains, and our family car. He’s prayed for fireworks, monkeys (jury’s still out on why he wants to pray for monkeys…), and lightning bugs. He’s prayed for his hat(s), his sucker, and himself. He’ll pray for my truck, “work,” and church.
And after a couple of these “extras,” I always say, “Ok, Rex, that’s enough. It’s time to go to sleep.” And I kiss him on the forehead, turn off the light, and close his door.
But I wonder…is this really a ploy by my son to become more manipulative? Or is it a great example of the faith of a child? Faith that says, “God’s provided these people in our lives…hasn’t He also provided these ‘things’ for our enjoyment and benefit?”
It’s reminded me to slow down. Because I don’t pray for the things he’s praying for. When was the last time I thanked God for my truck? Or for the lights in our home? Or for the beauty and wonder of lightning bugs?
When did I thank him for the simple joys of fireworks and…ahem…monkeys?
Have I ever thanked God for fun things like toys?
Or suckers?
I’ve got a lot of growing up to do. Never thought I’d learn that lesson from my 2 year old.
Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.” – Luke 18:17
Did you know that studies show that toddlers who wear cloth underwear tend to potty train faster than those that wear disposable pull-ups?
I have a two year-old now, and we’re in the middle of potty training. And 9 times out of 10, we have cloth on him. Because we’re ready to be done with this stage!
Do you know why children who wear cloth underwear train so much faster?
Because when they go to the bathroom, they feel the discomfort. It’s not immediately wicked away by a disposable diaper. They feel the same discomfort you’d feel if you wet your pants right now.
It’s not a pleasant feeling.
Discomfort is a great motivator for a child to not pee their pants. Because they instantly feel the discomfort, and until someone changes their pants, they remain in that discomfort.
It’s as if part of their growth comes through pain. And part of their immaturity is allowed to hang around if they are never exposed to that difficulty. In other words, their difficulty is wasted (no pun intended) because they don’t feel it.
The exact same thing can happen in our lives.
Difficulties have the chance to grow us. To help us take steps of faith towards God. Or, we can move so quickly past them that we waste them.
If you never feel the sting of defeat, the pain of losing someone you love, the failure of your plans, the loss of a job, a bad decision, rejection, heartache, or just the dark side of the soul…then you can’t grow through the pain. Difficulty incubates growth.
Some of the greatest times of growth in my life have come on the heels of great failure.
I don’t know what you’re going through right now. But I know something about your struggles. You can act like the pain’s not there.
Or you can acknowledge it, feel it, invite others into it, and grow through it.
God allows difficulties to fall on us because He’s interested in our growth. Because without pain, growth ekes.
Don’t waste pain. Let God use it for good.
And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. – Romans 8:28
I have a good friend who’s a soldier in the US Army. He and I run together regularly, and we talk about life.
As expected, his life as a soldier is much more exciting than mine as a pastor.
We were talking about his last deployment, and the times he had spent at the base. Mid-sentence, still as cool as the other side of the pillow, he dropped this line on me:
…a rocket exploded close by…
I stopped him right there. Never. Ever. Has that happened to me. “Do you not have bunkers on the base? Where you can take cover when a rocket blows by your base?” He responded, “There are concrete slabs set up that you can get under, but most guys don’t even bother.”
He told a story about a time he had just arrived on the base.
We heard this sound going over our head, and my buddy and I looked at each other and both said, ‘What was that?’ Then we heard the huge *BOOM* down range. We ran into the nearest living unit, frantically scurrying around, asking everyone there, ‘Where’s the bunker?!? Where’s the bunker?!?’ Nobody was 100% certain. One guy said, ‘I think it’s somewhere over there, pointing off into nowhere.’ And the strange thing to us was that nobody was frantic. They weren’t worried about the rocket that had just exploded.
I, still baffled that a rocket would explode so close, probed for more explanation.
The guys shooting the rockets had to be within 2 miles of our base to even come close to hitting us. Which doesn’t leave much time from when the rocket is fired to when it hits the base. So by the time the sirens go off signaling an incoming rocket, you’ll have about 10-15 seconds before the rocket hits. Most of the time, you’ll just take your chances and not sweat it. Nobody in our unit died from rocket fire the whole time I was there.
What’s happened is that these guys have been lulled to sleep because they’ve been in the war for so long. Nobody in their unit had died from rocket fire, so it was as if it weren’t really that dangerous.
I guess I’ll never get it. I keep getting hung up on this line:
…a rocket exploded close by…
And the exact same story can easily be ours spiritually. May we not forget that our Enemy is on the prowl, looking to devour us (2 Peter 1:5). May we not let our guard down. The battle we fight is a spiritual one that’s unseen, but it’s a real battle nonetheless.
The battle for our hearts is a fierce one. When you let down your guard, you’ll find yourself weak and vulnerable to defeat.
It’s when we don’t see the effects of the battle for months and months that we can be lulled into thinking that the battle is over…and that things aren’t still dangerous. If you haven’t heard any “rockets” lately, it’s time to buckle down. You’re in danger.
So my wife and I thought it would be a good idea to save a few bucks on some furniture for the office in our home by buying it unfinished. Sounds like a good plan, right? I mean, it can’t be that much trouble to stain and paint a desk and chair. That’s what I thought.
To make the story shorter, I’m not good at painting or staining.
image by Sam HughesWe bought the things a few months ago and I’ve just gotten around to finishing them. I’m not good at it, I don’t enjoy it, it took up a lot of room in our garage, it made a mess of the floor (well, I should probably go ahead and claim that as my fault), and it caused a fair amount of stress because of how long it took for me to finally finish.
But isn’t this sometimes how the Christian life goes? It’s not easy, it takes up a lot of “space” in our life (as if it’s ours in the first place!), it’s messy, stressful, and not fun. Often, God calls us to do things that we don’t want to do. Don’t believe me? Check Matthew 18:21-22
Then Peter came to him and asked, ‘Lord, how often should I forgive someone who sins against me? Seven times?’ ‘No, not seven times,’ Jesus replied, ‘but seventy times seven! I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.'”
Imagine if someone sinned against you in the same way seven times in one day. That’s pretty rough, right? Peter’s no slouch. He’s saying he’ll forgive a person seven times in the same day for the same sin. But Jesus completely blows him out of the water by saying that you are to forgive a person, not just seven times, but seventy times seven! Jesus calls us to forgive…and forgive…and forgive…and forgive…etc. The reason we are to forgive is rooted in God’s forgiveness of us, first of all. We offer grace and forgiveness to others because we realize that we are sinners in need of God’s forgiveness. Secondly, we offer forgiveness because judgment is coming. After the parable of the unforgiving servant (Matthew 18:23-34), Jesus says that God will not forgive us if we do not forgive our brothers from our heart.
This verse causes me to lose sleep at night.
We’re not called to forgive others because we feel like it. If we were to wait until we felt like forgiving people, most of us would never get around to it. We’re called to forgiveness whether we feel like it or not because God has forgiven us, and our debt to Him was beyond anything that any person could ever “owe” us.
I forgive others, not always because I just want to, but because I trust God knows what He’s doing (it’s usually a good idea to trust a God who created the earth and rose from the dead, neither of which I can do).
Ultimately, I’m glad that I bought the unpainted furniture. I saved some money, I am proud that I finished it, and it looks good in our office. It also pointed me to my relationship with God.
What’s He calling you to do today that you don’t want to do?
Everybody’s good at something. How do I know?
We serve a God who gifts people. (check out Exodus 35:30-35)
And your gift was given to you to benefit yourself others.
You’re talented at something. There’s something that, when you do it, you just come alive. And when you use that gift, it feels as if you’re doing what you were created to do.
And when you use those gifts well, folks stop and stare. They’re in awe of your gift…because it’s awesome!
So…brag on God. Tell us what you’re good at! (*leave a comment below)
I just want to take a minute to say that we’re all proud of the way you’ve done your research and found the most biblical curriculum. You’ve trained your small-group leaders to have airtight, foolproof theology. They can move from a discussion on the Nephilim to ecclesiology, then weave in a bit of distinction between Calvinism, the resurrection, and eschatology.
You’ve taught your group leaders how to facilitate a discussion, minister to the EGRs, fill the empty chair, raise up apprentice leaders, and plant new groups. You’ve helped groups become more “missional” by consistently serving their neighborhoods and communities. Group members are working to baptize and make disciples of all nations, starting with their families and neighbors.
But one thing is missing. Small groups aren’t fun. Sometimes they’re boring, actually. Sometimes people only come because they feel like they are supposed to.
So here’s my plea to you, small-group champion: incorporate fun, life, and humor into the small groups at your church.
1. If it’s not fun, people won’t come back.
It’s possible to get more information in a more convenient time in a more convenient way through many other means. Podcasts, books, blogs, and forums offer information and discussion environments at any time of the day, every day of the year. What separates small groups from each of these environments is the relationship, face-to-face aspect. Make sure you maximize this!
2. If there’s no fun, it’s not reflective of real life.
If your group is intensely serious, it can drain the life right out of people. We’re only wired to take so much seriousness. And often, our work environments give us plenty of seriousness.
3. If there’s no laughter, people are missing out on great medicine.
“A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones” (Proverbs 17:22). Maybe what hurting people need isn’t more medicine, but a healthy small group. They need to laugh together so hard that they snort. They need to laugh at themselves. They need to laugh at a corny joke. Because God has wired us to receive healing through laughter. I’m not sure how it works, but after a difficult day at work—with the kids, with finances, with in-laws—laughing helps to melt away stress and anxiety, bringing healing to your aching bones.
4. Have you ever belly-laughed?
Seriously, there’s not much that’s more redemptive than belly-laughing with someone in your small group. If you’ve laughed that way, from your gut, you know what I mean. If you haven’t, then I sincerely weep for you. Join my small group, please—we’ll show you how to do it.
5. When we have fun together, we show others that we serve a good God.
Check this out: “Then our mouth was filled with laughter, and our tongue with shouts of joy; then they said among the nations, ‘The Lord has done great things for them'” (Psalm 126:2). Did you catch that? When our mouths are filled with laughter, others are convinced that God has done great things among us. Could the flip-side be true? If our mouths aren’t filled with laughter, could people become convinced that the God we serve isn’t good? That he doesn’t take delight in loving is people? That the God we give witness to is ultimately boring, and the eternity with him that we say will be wonderful is painted as dull and lifeless?
6. Laughter builds community.
Laughing together can help your group bond in a rich way very quickly. Don’t neglect times of fun and laughing. Relish those times together. Jokes that carry from week to week, laughing at random things, and having fun together help set the stage for deep discussions, building trust among those in your group.
Convinced?
Have you ever been a part of a boring small group?
*I originally published this for smallgroups.com
I wouldn’t call myself an insecure child.
But little thoughts pop into my head, and it reminds me that I’m still human.
I’m still a sinner.
I still need encouragement.
I still need grace.
I still need Truth.
And I don’t lean in close to my King often enough.
See how my warped mind works?
I need to remind myself that my strengths are mine. Your strengths are yours. And that’s a good thing.
I need to get over the fact that I can’t be good at everything. I need to be good at where God’s gifted me and what He’s called me to be and do.
Reminder to self:
God’s not gifted you with all of the gifts. If He did, you’d be God. Learn from other people and marvel at the grace and beauty of God.
Am I the only one that asks these questions?
What insecurity struggles are you facing?
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