Author: Ben Reed (page 38 of 86)

Why I chose to be ordained

August 15, 2011 / / 5 Comments

Recently, my church, Grace Community Church, ordained me.   It was an unbelievable kind of an experience for me. It was so incredibly special, and will be a great marker for me for the rest of my life.

But I had a lot of people ask me why I wanted to get ordained. Why, especially because I was already licensed (which is the process that the state recognizes for me to be able to marry and bury)?   Why, especially because it wouldn’t change my title or job description at Grace?   Why, especially because it wasn’t something our church had ever done before?  Why, especially because it’s more of a ‘traditional’ church-y thing, and I’m not ‘traditional’ or church-y?

There are a few reasons why I wanted to be ordained, and why I wanted to do it at this point in my ministry.

Why ordination?

Ordination affirms your call to ministry.

In the process of ordination, I got to share my story, and sit before the elders and others at Grace for them to question me on my calling, my theology, and my future aspirations. We talked through safeguards I have in place in my life, and how I pursue God. Those men affirmed God’s working in my life.   And I needed that.

Ordination tells you that other people have your back.

In a sense, ordination is a time where other guys hear your story and say, “Yep, we understand what God’s calling you to do…now go do it! We’ve got your back.”  And I needed that.

Ordination is an important step for pastors.

People often associate “you know what you’re talking about” with ordination.   There’s a different level of respect.  And it’s not that I think I deserve or have earned that…I don’t think I’m entitled to it. Rather, I know that the title “ordained” carries weight with it.  And I’m ready for that weight.

Ordination helps others understand their call.

In the process of public ordination, a local church sees someone who has been called to full-time vocational ministry. And I’m convinced that when they see that, God works in their heart. And sometimes He begins to plant the seeds of ministry in their heart, too. Because I know that it’s been in hearing other people’s stories that mine has seemed to gain more clarity.  And the church needs that.

Why at this point?

Ordination shouldn’t be rushed.

I’ve been on staff now for nearly 4 years.  I could’ve been ordained sooner, but I wanted to wait until Grace really knew me and my character.   I wanted many people in the church to be able to honestly say, “I can also affirm God’s call on your life.”  If I’d gone through this process earlier, there would’ve been some people who would’ve come down to pray over me.   But it would’ve likely been those people who just felt like they had to do it.  Now, there were lots of folks who came down front to pray over me…and these people have actually done life with me for nearly 4 years. They’ve seen my character and served with me, and are truly willing to stand beside me as I continue fleshing out God’s call for my life.  That’s much more meaningful to me than a forced ceremonial ordination.

I’m glad I went through this process.  It’s help me sure up my call, surrounded me with men who know who I am, and given me a renewed sense of God’s call on my life.

Question:

Have you been ordained?  Was it a good experience for you?

 


 

 

5 Leadership Lessons Curious George Teaches us

August 10, 2011 / / 5 Comments

My son loves when we read Curious George to him.  It’s one of his favorites!  But I read everything with a critical eye.  And while I don’t always appreciate that part of me, I just can’t turn that switch off and just completely read for fun.  I wish I could.

Image via MyDorchester

Yesterday, I told you about the bad parenting lessons I’ve learned from Curious George. (you can read that HERE)

But I’d be remiss to say there aren’t some great jewels of life wisdom here, too!  Even wisdom that leaders can glean.  To be honest with you, I never thought I’d be learning leadership lessons from a cartoon monkey.  But, alas…the life of a dad…

5 Leadership Lessons Curious George Teaches us

Enjoying life is infectious.

When you enjoy life, you help others to do the same.  At the end of every book, the entire cast of characters is smiling.  Not to say that life’s easy or fluffy or always happy, but looking for ways to enjoy the gifts and opportunities God’s giving you is infectious for everyone around you.

Helping people is messy work.

George’s goal throughout the series is to help people.  But in helping people, he often gets into big messes.  Before it’s all said and done, many people are frustrated with George.  Even those who love him the most (the man with the yellow hat).  Which is what you’ll sometimes, unfortunately, find in life.  Helping people change, grow, and deal with life is often messy and frustrating.  But I can’t even begin to tell you how it’s worth the frustrations.

Creativity is messy and chaotic, but at the end of the day, it’s worth it.

If you pursue creativity in life, things will get messy and chaotic.  Rarely will you find yourself in the middle of creativity and in the middle of order.  Just know, going in, that you’re going to have to put up with a bit of chaos in the creative process.  But at the end of the day, it’s worth it.  The insights, new directions, and “art” you’ll create through the process make it worth the effort.

Curiosity will get you in lots of trouble.

The more you poke around, question systems, and look for new ways of doing things, the more you will frustrate some people.  Because, often, it’s easier to leave the status quo untouched.  To assume you can “arrive” and be done growing and changing.  And the more you push for those out-of-the-box changes, the more you’ll frustrate those who are satisfied with keeping things the way they are.

Curiosity will lead you to lots of fun.

Children naturally gravitate towards creativity and fun.  But life has a tendency of breaking many of us of that.  Curiosity is a beautiful thing.  It leads to new discoveries and new adventures, as long as you’re willing to pursue it.  Don’t get so tangled up in details, systems, and processes that you forget to have a little fun along the way.  There’s an adventure around every corner if you’re willing to look.

Question:

Have you seen any of these lessons come true in your life?

 

The most commonly used prayer phrase

August 9, 2011 / / 2 Comments

Growing up in the church, I’ve heard many, many different public prayers.

image via iStock Photo

Small group prayers are the best. They’re personal, genuine, and heart-felt. What’s better than requesting prayer, then having someone pray for you right there on the spot?!?  My most intense times of prayer, when I’ve felt closest to God, have been in the context of healthy community.

But there’s one thing I’ve noticed. And I don’t think I’m the only one who’s heard this. In fact, I think it’s the most commonly used prayer phrase. And when it’s used, it stands out like that one final nail that you still haven’t hammered in on the pergola in your backyard.  All you hear is this phrase.   It usually comes after a brief, awkward, I-don’t-know-what-to-say-now pause.  Maybe you’ve heard it.  It goes like this:

…and that situation…

“Lord, please be with Sally and Vick this week, and help them out…and that situation.”

“God, you know better than I do all of the difficulties John is facing in life…and that situation.”

“Lord, you love Gary, and I ask you help him out with his house…and that situation.”

“And that situation” becomes the way to close the deal. Hang up the phone with God. It sounds irreverent to say, “Later, God…” and so the question is, “How do I tell God, and the small group, that I’m done with that request?”

Enter “and that situation.”

It’s a fantastic catch-all, really. Because when you say it, everyone in the room goes, “Ohhh…that situation. Yeah, that’s bad. That situation.”

Here are 5 other times when “and that situation” fits beautifully.

5 Times for the “And That Situation”

1. When you’ve not listened closely enough to the request to remember the details, just drop a “and that situation.”

No reason to listen closely anymore when people share their prayer requests.  You’ve got a perfect fall-back, catch-all, I-love-each-and-every-person-in-my-group phrase.  Repeat after me: And. That. Situation.

2. When your group isn’t close enough to share the details of life, and you honestly don’t know the details of “that situation.”

Don’t press in to know people. That’s too difficult and too “honest.”  Let it ride.  “And that situation.”

3. When you have no idea what else to say, slip in a “and that situation.”

If it doesn’t naturally fit, it’s okay.  God will fist-bump you for hanging up the phone with class.

4. When you don’t know the person you’re praying for very well.

“Would they be comfortable with me repeating details before God?  Would God even want me to do that?”  Don’t make things too awkward.  Don’t try to get to know them later on so that next time you pray you won’t question things.  “And that situation” that thing and move right on.

5. When you don’t have the words to adequately express your heart, push things back on God.

The Holy Spirit intercedes for us, right? I bet his “groans” sound something like a holy “and that situation.” (see Romans 8:26)

Question:

Have you ever heard little phrases creep in to your prayers?

Have you ever heard “and that situation?”

 

 

 

Bad Parenting Lessons from Curious George

August 9, 2011 / / 12 Comments

Ever read a book from the series, Curious George?

image via Zap 2 It

I’ve got a 2 year old son, and we read a lot to him. Curious George is one of those books he likes. “Monkey book!” he says.

And I’m a critic. I read and listen to things with a critical eye. Sometimes, that’s really helpful. But many times, it’s just annoying.   I wish I could just read and flip that little switch off in my brain…because I’m sure that the author producer wasn’t trying to communicate the strange things that are now running through my head about his book…but I can’t help myself.

Curious George is a great children’s series…but when I read it, here’s what I see.

5 Bad Parenting Lessons from Curious George

  • Don’t worry about listening to your Dad. Everything will be okay. Even if you do what he would never want you to do, within 20 minutes, he’ll be laughing with you.
  • Don’t worry about listening to your Dad.  You’ll have more fun that way.  Especially if ice cream is involved.  And at the end of the day, the disaster you caused means everybody wins…except the ice cream shop.
  • Don’t worry about listening to your Dad. In the end, it doesn’t matter. Everybody will love you more.  The more trouble you cause, the more people will end up liking you.  Ignore the rules!
  • Don’t worry about listening to your Dad.  You won’t ever get punished. (The man in the yellow hat never dolls out any consequences).  That chocolate factory that you nearly destroyed…ahh…don’t worry about it, little guy!  Just laugh about them losing thousands of dollars of chocolate!
  • Your poor decisions don’t ever cause any real trouble. You may wreck the local library, let all of the animals out of the zoo, and ruin everything of value in your friend’s new restaurant, but just give it a few minutes…everything will be even better because of your mischief.  In fact, thank you for your bad decisions.

Question:

Ever read Curious George?  Am I the only one who sees these things?

 

 

No more excuses

August 8, 2011 / / 2 Comments

I saw this sign at a local food chain yesterday:

Last time I checked, being “sold out” meant you were selling things…which was good for business.  Right?

And if business is going so well that you’re selling out of supplies, shouldn’t you be looking for more suppliers?

I’m convinced that many people are just hunting for excuses to not do what they need to do.  Even when all of the signs are pointing in the same direction.  It’s easier to find excuses than it is to do the hard work required to be successful.

There’s rarely anything magical about success.

It’s more often about hard work, even when nobody else is looking, than it is about you being in the right place at the right time. (before you comment, know that I’m not taking God out of this equation at all.  He’s sovereign, and chooses what He wants to do…but I don’t think that God rewards laziness.)

Don’t let a lack of supplies become your excuse.

Don’t let a lack of volunteers become your excuse.

Don’t let a shortage of financial resources become your excuse.

Don’t let a hater’s discouragement become your excuse.

Don’t let, “We’ve never done it like that before” become your excuse.

Do the hard work, even when it’s not fun.

In the end, it’s worth it.

 

The Nines…online goodness

August 2, 2011 / / 5 Comments

The Nines is a conference (online) I look forward to every year. (you can register for it, for free, right HERE)

It’s a conference with 99 speakers, each with a 9 minute platform to share their thoughts, and for pastors and church leaders to learn from each other.  It’s proven to be a great idea generator for me.

They have a number of speakers that they choose beforehand, but they reserve a certain number of spots for “write-in” votes.  The “people’s choice awards” of the church leaders community.

And this year, instead of just giving my virtual “thumbs up” to the guys and gals I nominated, I thought I’d give a little explanation, and a further encouragement for you to “thumbs up” them, too.  Here’s my list.

My votes for The Nines:

Ron Edmondson

he’s a leader of leaders. He’s one of those guys that, when he speaks, I’ve got to have a pen and paper handy (err…your Evernote account just needs to be up) just to keep up with the flow from the fire hydrant of ministry goodness.  Connect with him on Twitter, Facebook, and on his blog.

He can share enough wisdom in 9 minutes to start a revolution.

Jonathan Pearson

He’s creative, he’s genuine, and he’s generous. He’s the communications pastor at Cornerstone Community Church, and few understand communications like Jonathan does. He speaks clearly to, and for, his generation.  Connect with him on Twitter, Facebook, and his blog.

Give him 9 minutes, and you’ll hear and understand the heartbeat of a generation.

Brandon Cox

Brandon is currently a church planter by profession. And a great one at that. But over the last year, as he and I have connected online and in person, I’ve been struck by his wisdom and winsomeness when it comes to networking. There are few as connected as Brandon. He’s a master with people.  Connect with him on Twitter, Facebook, and his blog.

In 9 minutes, you’ll believe in the power of social media to connect with the world.

If you agree with any of these nominations, head on over to The Nines site and give them a “thumbs up” HERE.

 

 

God behind bars

August 1, 2011 / / 4 Comments

I’m thrilled to be promoting a new ministry today, God Behind Bars.

There are close to three million prisoners now in the United States.  God’s prompting of the founder, Jake Bodine, and the skyrocketing number of incarcerated men and women in the United States has led directly to the creation of this one-of-a-kind prison ministry, God Behind Bars.

Check out this video:

Here is what makes God Behind Bars unique:

  • Unique four-step strategy that will allow a person to have full life change instead of some life change.
  • Partner with churches and faith-based organizations to stream live, dynamic, high-quality worship experiences into prisons all over the world.
  • Online campus called “Church With Inmates” that allows the families of prisoners to see and experience the same service that their loved one is watching from inside the prison.
  • Intentional about family reunification through outreach ministries such as their promising new children’s ministry “Project 22”, a ministry focused on providing children of inmates with a safe place to live and restoring the child and parents relationship through biblical principals.
  • Next-generation aftercare program that pledges to walk with and care for each former prisoner who completes the three prerequisite steps. Among some things that will be provided initially by the ministry are temporary living quarters, groceries, gas, a cell phone, clothes, employment training and placement.

If you’d like to connect with God Behind Bars, you can do so HERE.

 

 

My small group awesomeness contest

July 28, 2011 / / 10 Comments

My small group is way, way better than yours.  Why?

2 words: catfish fry.

Last week, we had our small group, including children, over to our house to fry up some catfish, french fries, and hushpuppies.  We topped that off with roasted marshmallows for dessert.  You. Can. Not. Beat. That.  Even if you get all “holy” and “we-study-the-Bible” on me.

But I’ll give you a chance, in just a moment.

Let me tell you about a new site, Only144.com.  It’s like Groupon, but for churches.  They’re a brand new company, trying to get word out about what they do.  They’ll be offering phenomenal deals for churches on various resources.  This has the potential to really help local churches out in a huge way.

In fact, they’ll be offering some small group curriculum that has the chance to shape your church culture in a huge way.

And in order to help get the word out about their new site, they’re willing to give away $600 worth of curriculum here through my blog!

If you win, you’ll get:

This contest on my blog is super-short…less than 24 hours!

If you’d like to enter, please do at least 1 of the following:

1. Leave a comment below trying to convince me that your small group is better than mine.  Good luck with that.

2. Tweet or Facebook the following: My small group’s awesomer than yours…about to win $600 in resources to prove it! Details: http://ow.ly/5PPaT

In your tweet, mention me using @benreed, or in your Facebook status be sure to tag me so I can find your post and include you in the drawing.

Feel free to enter the contest as many times as you’d like…each time you Tweet, Facebook, or comment, you’re entering your name into the pot.

The contest will end on Friday, July 29th, at 12:00 pm central time.  So hurry up and get those entries in!

 

Prolonging bedtime

July 28, 2011 / / 4 Comments

image via Naima Williams

At night, the last thing my wife and I do with our son is pray for, and with, him. One thing we always do is ask him who he’d like to pray for, because we want to get him in the habit of praying for people that he knows and loves. And he’s gotten pretty good at remembering people.

It’s a cool thing to be able to tell our friends and family, “Hey, Rex prayed for you by name last night.”

But lately, I think he’s picked up on the fact that the more names he suggests, the longer that “bedtime” is prolonged.

The more names he suggests, the longer mom and dad stay in my room.

The more names he suggest, the longer the light stays on.

He’s even begun naming, and praying for, things like his Mac Truck, the light (which he immediately reminds us that “Daddy” and “Poppy” fixed), his “Chloe” (a stuffed animal dog he likes to sleep with), his trains, and our family car. He’s prayed for fireworks, monkeys (jury’s still out on why he wants to pray for monkeys…), and lightning bugs. He’s prayed for his hat(s), his sucker, and himself. He’ll pray for my truck, “work,” and church.

And after a couple of these “extras,” I always say, “Ok, Rex, that’s enough. It’s time to go to sleep.” And I kiss him on the forehead, turn off the light, and close his door.

Faith like a child

But I wonder…is this really a ploy by my son to become more manipulative? Or is it a great example of the faith of a child?  Faith that says, “God’s provided these people in our lives…hasn’t He also provided these ‘things’ for our enjoyment and benefit?”

It’s reminded me to slow down. Because I don’t pray for the things he’s praying for. When was the last time I thanked God for my truck? Or for the lights in our home? Or for the beauty and wonder of lightning bugs?

When did I thank him for the simple joys of fireworks and…ahem…monkeys?

Have I ever thanked God for fun things like toys?

Or suckers?

I’ve got a lot of growing up to do. Never thought I’d learn that lesson from my 2 year old.

Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.” – Luke 18:17

 

 

 

Don’t be anonymous

July 27, 2011 / / 16 Comments

The more and more I’m active in social media, the more and more anonymous commenters I seem to attract.

Image via Guardian

 

And at one level, I get it. Anonymous comments are a chance to share what you really think, without the ramifications of having to deal relationally by asking hard questions, making pointed statements, and pushing someone in a way you wouldn’t normally do in person. I get it. But if you’re going to make some strong statements, don’t hide behind a false name. Be real.  Give the person you’re attacking the chance to talk to a real person…not just a fake name.

Here’s the principle behind what I’m saying:

If you believe in what you’re saying, sign your name to it.

This principle holds true with many things in life.

If you’ve got a good idea, and you believe in it, sign your name to it. If you don’t believe in it, why promote it?

If you’ve got a new policy, and you believe it’s worth implementing, sign your name to it. Stand behind it. If you’re not willing to stand behind it, and deal with the questions and complaints, why implement it?

If you’re ready to hire a new person, and you believe they’re the right person for the job, stand behind them. Let everyone know you believe in this person. If you don’t believe in them, don’t hire them.

If you’re leading your organization in a new direction, stand behind the decision. There may be bumps along the way, but if you believe this is the direction you should go, then show everyone you believe in it.

Anonymous people rarely get anything done.  It’s when you are willing to sign your name to what you believe that the ball can begin moving forward.

We don’t need more anonymity.  We need leaders.

Question: Have you ever gotten anonymous comments on something you’ve done?

 

 
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