Ben Reed, Author at - Page 24 of 86

Author: Ben Reed (page 24 of 86)

5 Super Simple Keys to Changing the World, Mike Foster, Catalyst 2012

Mike Foster is the cofounder of People of hte Second Chance as well as working with Plain Joe Studio. He most recently wrote Gracenomics.

5 Super Simple Keys to Changing the World:

1. The fuel for world change is a truthful and trustful you.

So often in our own passions and dreams, we’re not honoest with those. We get boxed in with expectations and what we should be about. Only you can bring what only you can bring. Our callings are different from each other. Reinventing comes from a place of truth, from who and where we are…good things, and things that we’ve failed at.

The greatest gift you can give the world is becoming the person you were uniquely meant to be. (You’re not meant to be anyone except who God created you to be.)

Freedom is found when we let go of who we think we’re supposed to be…and embracing who we really are. When you’re doing someone else’s calling, you’ll be frustrated and tired.

There is nothing holy, godly, or admirable about a “calling” that leaves you drained, empty and exhausted. When that’s you, you may be in the wrong role/place. Numbers can become an idol to us.

“I have done my best” is a great philosophy for life and for your mission.

2. Courage is required. Safety is deadly.

Our world is in a constant deficit of courage…and is drowning in fear. Our culture often limps along because so few people act courageously.

POTSC definition of courage: to truthfully live your story, being who you really are, unashamed and with all your heart.

Quit preaching and teaching safety…that’s anti-Jesus and anti-faith!

3. A pound of doing is better than a ton of promising

World change requires you to be action biased. Grow to hate meetings…instead, love doing things.Most everyhting is a crap-shoot anyway. Get out there and start practicing it.

God is in the “yes” business.

If you’re 100% sure, then your strategy is a 100% wrong. The military works on an 80% rule…they ahve to be 80% sure before they move. Don’t wait on 100% certainty!

Grow a backbone, not a wishbone. Don’t have another meeting…do it!

4. Don’t fix problems that are not really problems.

We’re guilty of dealing with sysmptoms rather than core problems.

Target the 51. Don’t just target the top 50…target the people who are on the outside. We all come across people who are overlooked, marginalized and minimalized. Go for the people everybody else is passing by.

Be a friend to those who others leave behind.

5. Don’t let someone who gave up on their dreams talk you out of yours

Never be the critic and cynic that steals dreams.

Those who can do. Those who can’t teach. Those who won’t can only criticize.

“You can’t beat the person who refuses to give up.” – Babe Ruth

Question: What’s your world-changing idea? What’s stopping you from going after that?

Wish You Were Here, Jon Acuff, Catalyst West

April 19, 2012 / Ben Reed / 0 Comments

Speaker and author Jon Acuff (StuffChristiansLike & JonAcuff.com) opened Catalyst West 2012, speaking to this year’s theme, “Be Present.”

Sometimes in your life, it’s easy to focus on what’s “next” to be disconnected from what’s “right now.”

At these points, we can hear family and friends tell us, “I wish you were here.” Instead of being present, we find ourselves distracted, seeking to please others rather than enjoying the people in front of us.

3 Ways to be Sure you Remain Present

1. Don’t get lost in the comparison game.

This is hard. You see this at events, when you hear what other people and organizations are doing, and you wish you could be more like them. You never do “fair” comparisons, either. You compare yourself to the best of the best. What we often do is compare our “beginning” to someone else’s “middle.” The Enemy loves when we get lost in this comparison game, making us feel “entitled” and “deserving.”

2. Be smart about social media.

In some ways, we’re all becoming reality TV stars in our own little world. When Jon went on vacation, he disengaged from social media. And in the process, he was able to be present for the vacation, rather than just a documenter. It’s time to be present…not time for everybody around you to say, “Please pay attention.”

3. Quit listening to the voices.

Nobody’s internal voices are ever positive. You think they’re your friends, but voices of fear and doubt are foes. Voices of fear and doubt want to take us away from being “present.” 90% perfect and published is always better than 100% perfect and stuck in your head.

“Who are you to do that?” is often a voice we hear. One of fear’s greatest goals is isolation. Fear fears community.

What if the reason that God is silent is because He’s planning your party? (Re: Prodigal Son)

Jesus was always present

1. He was available.

He had long, slow dinners with people though he could’ve been teaching tens of thousands every evening.

2. He rested.

Jesus rested, so why do we think we don’t have to? Isaiah 30:15: “In repentance and rest is your salvation. Quietness and trust is your strength.” We’ve rewritten this, because it’s hard to yell this at people. We’ve rewritten this to say, “Efficienty and repentance” or “productivity and repentance” instead of “rest and repentance.”

3. He knew his role.

We often get confused about out roles. We put too much pressure on ourselves…pressure that God doesn’t even put on yourself. God’s not surprised or disappointed by the size of our ministry. Proverbs 21:1: The king’s heart is in the hands of the Lord.” Some days, water moves rapidly. Some times itit slows down to go deeper. And water doesn’t ever get to talk back to the water maker and give suggestions. It just gets to be water.

Question: What is your biggest source of distraction right now?

7 Truths about encouragement I learned from the gym

April 11, 2012 / Ben Reed / 4 Comments

I started working out at the gym a couple of months ago. CrossFit is my deal. I find it much more enjoyable…ahem…as *enjoyable* as lifting weights can be.

It’s a combination of lifting weights, aerobic activities (running, rowing, etc.), jumping/climbing, and gymnastics-type moves. Whereas normal weight-lifting can get boring through repetitive movements, I’ve never once been bored.

I’ve also never once gone home not sore.

As I was finishing up one of my runs just the other day, rounding the last corner before the mile run was over, I was about to go into cruise control. The last 400 meters were going to be easy, I thought. I was a sizable distance behind the next runner, and…who cares? It’s just a run…I don’t have to win this.

image credit: Creative Commons, user ConvergingPhoto

Until one of the coaches barked a word of encouragement my way.

I didn’t see it coming. I had already pushed the cruise button. I had taken my foot off the gas and was ready to coast. But the coach jarred me back to the grind. When I was tempted to coast, I was reminded to work even harder.

There have been a number of times where I’ve been directly encouraged. Sometimes it’s been in a cheerleading-type, “Way to go!” way. Other times it’s been a more constructive, “If you’ll just change ____, things will be easier” way.

In the process, I’ve learned much about how encouragement works.

7 truths about encouragement

1. Encouragement speaks things into existence that are not yet.

Am I good at working out? I don’t know…ask my stick arms. But they won’t be stick arms forever. Encouragement sees things that will be, based on trajectory instead of current circumstances. It focuses on potential, not only current reality.

2. Encouragement breeds hope.

When I’m ready to quit, a word of encouragement gives me a burst of energy. It breathes a bit of life into my fatiguing body. Encouragement is the breeding ground for hope, where none currently exists.

3. Encouragement builds relationships.

I feel a closer connection with those that have given me a timely encouragement. I feel like they believe in me when I didn’t even believe in myself. And I’m convinced that relationships are an under-valued key in so many areas of life. Especially decision-making.

4. Encouragement propels you further, faster.

I felt a surge of adrenaline when I heard, “You can do it, Ben!” When you encourage someone, your words help carry someone a little further. Even when you’re trying to climb a couch.

5. Encouragement tells you what can be.

Encouragement tells me that I could be better than I am right now. That I could run a bit faster. Lift a bit more. And not give up. Encouragement helps close the gap between the deficiencies you see in yourself right now and the picture of who you could be in the future.

6. Encouragement communicates, “I believe in you.”

Everyone needs to hear this. You need to know that someone else sees the same vision you do. Someone else believes you can close that gap. Someone else believes you can produce more, and become the better version of you that God intended.

7. I don’t always want encouragement.

Strange and twisted, no? Sometimes, I just want to give up. My body’s tired and my mind is mush. I’d rather throw in the towel for the day. But when I press through, I find potential that I didn’t know existed. “When you feel like you’ve used every ounce of energy you possess, you’ve still got extra reserve you can draw on,” my friend told me. Turns out he was right. And I hated him for it. 🙂

You’re an influencer of someone. Maybe you’re a pastor. Or a banker. Or a small group leader. Or a dad. Or a coach.

Those you lead can’t continue to do what God’s called them to do without a timely word of encouragement. Daily.

You’re also influenced by someone. Maybe your pastor. Or your banker. Or your small group leader. Or your dad. Or your coach.

Those who lead you can’t continue to do what God’s called them to do without a timely word of encouragement. Daily.

Time to put this on your to-do list.

Genuine encouragement is a gift you can give.

But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called “Today,” so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. – Hebrews 3:13

Question:

Who needs your encouragement today?

Open-door decision making

April 9, 2012 / Ben Reed / 13 Comments

When people are talking about what next step they should take, whether they should take a new job, buy a new house, or start a new relationship, they often talk about ‘open’ or ‘closed’ doors.

“I was going to get married to _____, but God closed that door.”

“I didn’t know what school I was going to go to, but God just kept opening doors to _____, so I just kept walking through them.”

Ever heard a statement like that?

image credit: Creative Commons user Documentarist

If the door is metaphorically closed, it’s like trying to get into Ft. Knox. Or like trying to get your cable guy to shrink the time frame of when he’ll show up to fix your problem. Forget it. You’re not getting through.

If the door is metaphorically open, it’s like a magical door opened with the help of magical elves. And if you walk through it, everything smells like a fresh rainbow.

There’s a problem that exists with the swinging door. And I’d like to propose a better way to know what your next step should be.

Here’s the problem: you’re depending on something that could just as easily be the work of the Devil himself as the work of God.

An open door doesn’t always mean you need to walk through it. Likewise, a closed door doesn’t always mean you need to stop. If the apostle Paul used this theory, he would’ve given up on the Galatians. And he would’ve never gone to Spain.

If Jesus would’ve relied on the “open door” to follow God’s will, he wouldn’t have gone to the cross. He walked through a “closed door” with confidence. (Luke 22:42-44)

Don’t depend on swinging doors in trying to determine your next step.

3 Things to Depend on in Decision-Making

Depend on God’s Word.

This is the one thing that we can depend on every time. If the Bible clearly instructs us on something, we should follow its teachings. If you’re trying to decide whether to murder someone or not, I’d say not…Exodus 20:13. If you’re trying to decide whether to take a job that will keep you from your family, think again. The Bible instructs us to make a priority out of our home. If the Bible has clearly instructed, you’ve found your first answer. Sometimes the Bible guides by specific directives…other times it’s by principles. But it’s always to be trusted.

Depend on prayer.

I’ve never prayed and, as a result, seen the heavens open up and drop me a note with the answer I was looking for. But I often get much clarity through prayer. That’s a great gift God gives through the Spirit when we depend on Him. When you depend on God, He honors that. And not necessarily in giving you the answer you want to hear. Often, His answer is, “Keep trusting me. I’ll reveal the next step you should take.” Depending on prayer is important, too, because we see that the heart of God is moved when we pray. Last time I checked, that was a big deal. (Exodus 32:11-14)

Depend on people who know and love you.

Don’t make decisions by yourself. Ultimately, the decision may be yours to make and yours to deal with the consequences, but it’s foolish to operate alone. You may have your best interest at heart, but it’s hard to see the best course of action to take because you’re zoomed in too closely to your own situation. Find a group of people (I believe these people are often found in small groups) who have your back, have your best interest at heart, and will encourage you to seek God’s best.

Don’t depend on your circumstances, though they inform. Don’t depend on past decisions, though they also inform. Don’t depend on open or closed doors, though they may help sway.

There are 3 things you should depend on: The Bible. Prayer. And people who love you.

Question:

Ever heard people use “open doors” as the primary way they decide what course of action to take?

Holding on to fortune cookies

April 5, 2012 / Ben Reed / 2 Comments

Parenting is tough. And I hear it never gets any easier.

image credit mine

It’s easy to feel like a failure, too. Like all of the effort you pour into the work, all of the love you give, all of the consistency in discipline, all of the enforcing bedtimes and pointing your children to God is worthless. Especially when you have friends over and your child is the heathen child of the bunch that runs his Power Wheels into the back of another, smaller kid’s Power Wheels…twice.

But just last week, we opened fortune cookies together after a particularly delicious meal at one of our favorite Chinese restaurants. He hadn’t eaten a huge dinner, but of course, he had room for a fortune cookie (or two). I asked him to read his to me. (bear in mind…he’s 3. Which makes “fortune cookie time” rather interesting.) What he “read” I’ll never forget.

“What does yours say, Rex?”

“It says, ‘We have to go to church and to small group.” Before you jump to conclusions that I’ve raised a legalistic Pharisee, let me translate that for you: “I like to go to church on Sundays, and I like mommy and daddy’s small group. Can we go to either one now?”

That’s one of my prayers for him. That my son would grow up enjoying Sunday mornings. That being the son of a pastor wouldn’t burn him. That he wouldn’t look back with disdain on the evenings when my wife and I attended small group. That he would catch just how vital relationships are to his spiritual growth. That ministering and serving and worshipping on Sunday mornings would be a well of joy in his life.

Did he say all of that in his “reading” of the fortune cookie. Probably not. But don’t ruin it for me. Let me think that’s what he meant. 🙂

That’s one of those moments I’m going to tuck away in my back pocket on the days when my parenting seems to be a flop. On the days when I look at other parents and wish I were more like them. On the days when my child is the heathen, I’ll lock back in to this fortune cookie.

Fortune cookie moments are rare in any parenting’s life. But they’re a diamond worth holding on to.

What “fortune cookie” do you hold on to in parenting?

An open letter to church staffs for Easter

April 4, 2012 / Ben Reed / 0 Comments

image credit: Creation Swap user Chris Kennedy

Easter, for a church staff, is an administrative beast.

Whereas a normal staff meeting would cover multiple weeks and months of planning, most staffs devote an entire meeting (or two or three) to Easter alone. Planning details, follow-up, worship elements, volunteers, and extra chairs, churches pour great time and energy into Easter services.

Because we know that we have the chance to impact the lives of people who don’t regularly participate in our worship services.

And we want every note, every letter, every light to be perfect.

But sometimes, church staffs can get lost in the fog of planning. And that’s an incredibly dangerous place to be.

I don’t know about you, but my call to the ministry wasn’t a call to planning and administrative paper-pushing. My call to the ministry was a call to do. A call to be. A call to live the Gospel and proclaim it.

So here’s my open letter to church staffs everywhere.

Church staff and leadership,

As you prepare for Easter this year, don’t get locked down in the planning. Don’t get lost in the details.

Don’t let the fog overtake you as you rehearse.

Don’t let the glitz grip your heart.

The reason we have Easter services is because Jesus didn’t stay in the grave.

The tomb of death is empty.

The cross wasn’t the final chapter.

At the cross, our fears and failures and pain were killed.

Easter is more than just our biggest service of the year.

The fact that it’s the biggest service of the year means that more people get to inhale a fresh breath of life.

A fresh hook of hope.

And get to discover, maybe for the first time or the first time in a long time, how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ.” (Ephesians 3:18)

Plan, scheme, and detail the mess out of Easter. But don’t lose sight of that empty tomb.

Sincerely,

Ben

This is awkward, but…I need some help

April 3, 2012 / Ben Reed / 7 Comments

Creative Commons user Marc Wathieu, edits mine

I have something you don’t. And you need that. So ask me for it.

Maybe it’s my lawn mower.

Maybe it’s a pinch of salt.

Or maybe it’s $100.

Maybe it’s some wisdom I have.

Maybe it’s a ride to the airport.

Learning to ask for help is vital to your spiritual growth.

But it’s awkward, isn’t it?

Culture would like us to believe that this is just a “guy” problem. That since guys don’t want to ask for directions, they’re the ones that feel it’s awkward to ask for help. But this awkwardness and self-dependent isolation isn’t just limited to the “y” chromosome.

Men and women deal with this.

Asking for help gives the appearance of weakness. Because, if you were stronger, you wouldn’t need help, right? You wouldn’t need money. Or advice. Or guidance.

Asking for help signifies you don’t have all you need for life. It screams, “I’m not independently self-sufficient.” It rails against our culture of independence and isolation.

Nobody wants to say that. Nobody wants to show the chink in their armor. Nobody wants to appear weak and vulnerable and exposed. Nobody. We want to appear to have more insight and more capabilities than we actually do, that we don’t need outside wisdom or influence. We especially never need correction.

But it’s our weaknesses that expose the way that God created us, because He didn’t create us for complete independence. He created us to be dependent on others.* He created us to live in need of encouragement. He created us to live in need of biblical counsel. He created us to live in need of sex advice. He created us to live in need of advice for our present circumstances.

I bet you need a pinch of salt right now. Or $100. Or life’s falling apart, and you need much, much more.

Love is an unbelievably transformational and redemptive force that we need extended to us. If we’ll just ask.

Time to get off your high horse and ask. You were created to do just that.

Time to say, “This is awkward, but…I need some help.”

*Yes, we’re supposed to be dependent on God. No doubt about that. But for the purposes of this post, depending on God alone becomes a ruse to really go at life alone. Because you can still hide your inadequacies.

Tip: Try to go home at 5:00

March 30, 2012 / Ben Reed / 0 Comments

Josh Tandy is a student pastor. He’s written an ebook for “Rookie Pastors” that I think is worth checking out.

It’s called 30 in 30: How to Start or Restart Well. In the eBook you will find 30 practical tips for those just getting started in ministry and those looking to start over. Here is 1 of the 30 tips that Josh gives. It’s worth a look!

Find out below how you can get it for free!

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Go Home at 5

First time parents talk about the adrenaline that gets them through those sleepless nights and the never-ending feeding/changing cycle. Much of this adrenaline wears off by kid #2.

As a Rookie Pastor, especially if it is your first paid ministry you are going to be pumping full of adrenaline ready to get after it. You can make the argument that you have to maximize the honeymoon period and get as much started as possible. Except you forget that in those first 30 days you have the unique opportunity to communicate some values and set precedents.

Going home at 5, or whenever the office closes up for the day, is going to be difficult for some but don’t underestimate the importance of it. So much of pastoring and leadership is about what you do and how those actions communicate what you value. Modeling what a healthy work/family balance has more impact than a sermon on it, and a great sermon will be undermined by a contradictory example.

When you join a church with multiple staff positions you can also give a gift to those you work with and/or supervise by going home at 5. Particularly if you are supervising other staff you are going to be setting the pace in those first 30 days. They will be looking to you to see what to expect moving forward, and I don’t know any pastor who would say they wish their boss would make them stay at the office more.

Use this time to stress the importance of good time management and maximizing time spent in the office, but give permission to others and yourself to go home. There will be times when 60-70 hour weeks are required but make that the exception not the rule.

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To get the rest of the book (for free) visit RookiePastor.com and sign up for the free email updates, on the right side of the page.

Friday favorites, 3/20/12

March 30, 2012 / Ben Reed / 0 Comments

Here are a few of my favorites from around the web this week.

Trevin Wax, 4 Things to Remember While in Seminary

Not too long ago, I enjoyed a cup of hot chocolate with a friend from seminary. He graduated not long after I did, and he was telling me about how involved he was in his local church. As we were reminiscing about our seminary days, he said something that stunned me:

“I regret seminary.”

Come again? I asked him to explain.

Jonathan Dodson, This is Who a Disciple is

A disciple of Jesus is someone who learns the gospel, relates in the gospel, and communicates the gospel. This definition of disciple shows us that the gospel both makes and matures disciples. We see this in Jesus’s ministry. Jesus proclaimed the same gospel to the crowds that he taught to the disciples. He did not have the twelve on a special, gospel-plus track to study advanced subject matter.

DiscipleUs, Disciples Fail

When I look back at the life of the twelve, I can say with certainty that they failed in may ways. One of them sold him, others abandoned him, and Peter denied him. Those weren’t their only failures, but it was their biggest.

The beauty of their failures was that Jesus wasn’t looking for perfection from them. They were not capable of pleasing Jesus in all things, let alone in most things, but what Jesus was willing to do was work with fragile vessels so that He Himself is glorified through their failures.

Jared Wilson, The Subtle Art of Sabotaging a Pastor

Dearest Grubnat, my poppet, my pigsnie,

The reports of your progress warm my blackened heart. When you were assigned to one of the Enemy’s ministers ten years ago, his infernal Majesty and I knew you’d have a rough go of it. The zeal of one new to the pastorate can be a daunting challenge to even the most cunning of our comrades, but we also believed that time breeds all wounds and that your task would become easier the longer your patient remained. You now prosper from that sweet spot of pastoral fatigue and assimilation. The shine of newness is gone. And up pop the cracks in the ministerial armor.

Finally! An espresso machine for my car!

This is awkward, but…how’s your present?

March 28, 2012 / Ben Reed / 4 Comments

Creative Commons user Marc Wathieu, edits mine

It’s “sexy” to talk about your past. Where you’ve been. The grit you’ve experienced. The pain you’ve had to bear. The crazy life you used to live. When you talk about your past, you get looks that say

Wow. You’ve come so far!

Wow. You’ve overcome so much!

Wow. You had a lot of fun!

It’s “sexy” to talk about your future, too. Nobody gets upset when you’re talking about where you’re headed in life. Whether you’re talking about heaven (where there will be no tears or crying or pain) or something a little shorter in focus (your goals and aspirations), these are fun conversations. When you talk about where you’re headed, it’s cast in a bright, positive light. Nobody clams up talking about that!

But your “present”? It’s not so sexy to talk about where you are right now. In fact, it’s quite awkward. And I’m convinced awkward conversations need to be had.*

It’s not cool to say,

“Yeah, I still struggle with ____.”

“I still need help with ______.”

“That thing that we talked about last week…I messed up again.”

The awkward humiliation

It’s humiliating, really. It’s like saying, “I know I told you I was headed to Nashville, but somehow I ended up in St. Louis. You told me to turn left, but I just went right.” Silly, no? Turns out they didn’t listen to directions, look at their map, or heed the signs that said, “Nashville, turn left.” And they did this for 450 miles.

Talking about your present struggles is like swallowing a spoonful of medicine. You know it’s going to help, but it tastes rancid going down.

Talking about your present struggles admits, “I’m not where I need to be,” “I’m not who I appear,” and, “I don’t really know how to get where I want to go.”

The beeline to shame

Where we go wrong when someone begins “talking about their present” is that we make a beeline for shame. Instead of the Prodigal’s father, we play the role of the older brother (Luke 15:28-30). Our arms are crossed and our head swiveling back and forth in judgment. We say things like “How are they going to ever learn?” or “Someone’s got to give them the truth.” or “If they’d only followed God like me…” We think it’s our job to convict their hearts with the truth.

When we’re quick to convict, we inadvertently shut down a potentially life-changing moment of confession.

The good news about grace is that grace doesn’t keep a record of how many times you’ve messed up. In fact, “where sin increased, grace increased all the more.” (Romans 5:20) Grace celebrates a step in the right direction. Even when it’s followed by two steps backwards.

Grace welcomes home

Grace doesn’t mean that you become a doormat that’s walked on. It means you welcome someone home when they “talk about their present.” More than likely, conviction’s already happened. (hint: that’s why they’re talking with you!) Your role isn’t to convict…you can let the Holy Spirit do that. He’s better at it than you are, anyway. What someone needs, in their moment of taking a step of faith by saying, “I’ve messed up…again” is a “welcome home!” embrace.

Next time someone opens up an awkward conversation by sharing something they’re counting to struggle with, try being full of grace. Try showing them that we serve a God who never leaves or forsakes us (Deuteronomy 31:6), even when we’ve followed a stupid decision by a stupid decision. In those moments, you’ll find that truth acts more like a weapon.

Grace is what’s needed, because grace moves the ball forward. Shame throw it backwards.

* catch up with the “this is awkward” series HERE.