Tag: christmas (page 2 of 2)

The art of small talk

December 22, 2010 / / 5 Comments

As Christmas rolls around, you’re going to be spending a lot of time with a lot of people you don’t normally spend a lot of time with.  People you don’t know or care about remember much about because you don’t get to see them that often.  And for most, the holidays involve sitting around and…talking.

So what do you do when your random uncle plops down beside you and it gets awkward because he doesn’t say anything?  Or your grandpa’s younger cousin that you’ve never seen before…what happens when she insists on sitting in the recliner across from you, and you have nothing in common?

Enter the art of small talk.

Small talk can carry you through the thickest difficult moments.  And it can help you seem like a hero who knows everybody.

Or, just like years past, if you don’t do it right, it can make you look like the jerk that hates Christmas.  And nobody wants to be that guy.

The art of small talk

1. How’s work going? Not a bad leading question.  Since most people work, you’re pretty safe here.

2. Where’s the rest of your family? Whether they’re somewhere else in the house, or they didn’t make it down this year, you’ve got your bases covered.

3. Did you try that ______? (examples include ham, turkey, pork tenderloin, pecan pie, etc.)  In this, you don’t even have to say whether you like the item in question or not.  Don’t show all of your cards right off the bat.

4. Gosh, how long has it been? Classic.

5. How are the kids? Everybody likes talking about their own children.  Everybody.

6. Talk about your kids. Easy, no?  See…told you you could do this.  Remember, everybody likes to talk about their children.  You included.

6. So what keeps you guys busy these days? Hobbies, pastimes, TV shows, and movies are always easy to talk about.

7. How was the drive in? Since we’re in the Christmas season, traffic was probably bad.  The kids probably complained.  They probably left later than they wanted.  This is a guaranteed winner.  Trust me.

8. You guys have any snow yet back home? If you live in a warm climate (like I do), this is a time to lament not having any snow in your area.

9. It’s so _____ (either ‘cold’ or ‘warm’) outside! Think quick on your toes.  This one’s not so tough.

10. I see you’ve been all over Facebook lately. Oh, wait…that’s what my family tells me.  Scratch that.

11. How long are you guys hanging around?

12. The _____ (sports team from their area) is doing ______ (either ‘good’ or ‘bad’) this year. This is a dangerous one.  If you don’t remember where the person’s from, or don’t know which team(s) are in their area, just steer clear of this one.

13. Have you seen Uncle ______? He’s looking good this year, isn’t he? Gotta be careful here, too.  If Uncle _____ isn’t looking great, your cover will be sniffed out.

14. Look at all those gifts! By the time all of the family arrives, there will likely be lots of gifts under the tree.  Capitalize on it.

15. So what else is going on? Keep this one in your back pocket.  After all other questions are exhausted, you can come back and back to this one.

Now you’re ready for any Christmas moment that your family may throw your way.

Got any additions for me?

 

A generous Christmas

December 20, 2010 / / 2 Comments

(image by Dan Johnson)

Logan’s Roadhouse is running a holiday special right now.  Buy a $30 giftcard for a friend and get a $10 giftcard for yourself.

Great deal, right?!?

Great marketing, right?!?

It gets people in their restaurant three ways…once, for the person buying the gift card, once on their return visit (with their $10 giftcard), and once for the receiver of the $30 card.  Brilliant.  And I’m sure they’re going to sell lots of those this season.

I know why.  And it’s not simply because all of your friends love Logan’s.

It has to do with greed.

You see, it’s true that it’s more blessed to give than to receive (Acts 20:35).  But our human hearts are dark cauldrons that are deceptive, even to ourselves (Jeremiah 17:9).  And if there’s a way that we can get a gift at the same time we give one, we’re going to do just that.

What’s motivating the sales of these giftcards is the promise that your money won’t be solely spent on someone else.  That the joy you’ll get in giving isn’t simply in serving someone else, rather it’s in  getting a slice of the pie that you’re giving away.  This is a great way to give, expecting something in return.  In that process, you rip the true blessing out of the gift.

I’m not upset with Logan’s in the least.  They have no reason to promote generosity…their goal is to build a successful business, and their principles here violate no laws.  Their practices just happen to play into the tendency of our hearts.  “Their mouths speak of love, but their hearts are greedy…” (Ezekiel 33:31)

The Apostle Paul said it well, “…what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.” (Romans 7:15)  As much as we strive for generosity, greed continues to creep in.  In subtle, seemingly insignificant, seemingly generous ways.  Like expecting something in return when you give a gift.

But I believe that it really is more blessed to give than to receive.  I’ve experienced it.  The joy in giving your resources to someone else who can never pay you back is unexplainable.  It’s in those moments that I feel as connected to my Maker as much (or maybe even more than) as any other time.  Because He’s done that for us.  He’s given (and continues to give) blessings “pressed down, shaken together, and running over.” (Luke 6:38)

So this Christmas, try being truly generous.  Give.  Share.  Sacrifice.  And don’t expect anything in return.  Not a return gift.  Or a returned hug.  Or even a “thanks.”

You’ll get your payment.  It’ll be in the form of joy.

Have you ever been given a gift, but known it wasn’t given out of a generous heart?

How are you serving someone this Christmas, expecting nothing in return?

 

Sometimes traditions should change

December 16, 2010 / / 2 Comments

My traditions are changing this year.

And I’m thrilled.

(Photo by Karen Long)

When I was a kid, on Christmas Eve night, we’d head over to my Aunt and Uncle’s house, eat homemade lasagna with the whole family, then come back home in time to go to sleep.  We’d wake up early on Christmas morning, open gifts with my parents, eat homemade donuts my dad made, then spend the afternoon at my Grandma and Grandpa’s house.  That was our tradition.

When I got married, my traditions changed.  Nothing went away…but lots of traditions were added.  On Christmas Eve night, we’d go to a traditional candlelight service in Winchester, TN, then head to my wife’s grandma’s house to eat and exchange gifts.  We’d get back to Clarksville about midnight, wake up and head to my parent’s house to eat homemade donuts made by my dad, then spend the afternoon at my Grandma and Grandpa’s house.  Then we’d head to my wife’s Grandma and Grandpa’s house to finish the day thoroughly exhausted.  Christmas was special…but often felt rushed and hectic.

This year, our traditions are changing again.  In a big way.  Our son is getting to the age where we want to begin crafting his Christmas traditions.  We’re treating Christmas Eve morning as our Christmas morning.  And if our family wants to see Rex (which is the only person they care about in our family, if we were truly honest with each other), they have to come to us.  Christmas Eve night, I’m thrilled to be worshipping for the first time on Christmas Eve with my church family (details HERE).  Christmas will be much more relaxed, yet we’ll still be able to spend time with all of our family.  It’ll just be spread out over a few days.

Traditions change. And that’s okay.  When we’re unwilling to change, it’s easy to work ourselves into a rut.  In that rut, we forget why we do what we do.  And we begin doing things simply because we’ve always done them…getting frustrated with anyone who questions or challenges our traditions.

Traditions change. And they should.  Because we change.  Life doesn’t stay the same.  It takes us through many different roads.  People are added.  Taken away.  And that changes the flavor of our families.

Traditions change. And if you stick so closely to your traditions, you’ll alienate many newcomers.  Take, for instance, my son.  If we were unbending in our holiday routines, he’d always view Christmas as a rushed, tiring, hectic, gifts-focused time.  I don’t want that.

So this holiday season, evaluate why you do what you do.  What is it that you, as a family, value? Don’t just continue the same traditions because you’ve always done them. Because if you’re not careful, your traditions can block you from that which you value.

What is your favorite Christmastime tradition?

Is there something new you’re doing this year?

How do you handle change?

 

Family Devotionals

November 29, 2010 / / 1 Comment

To me, family devotions are kind of cheesy.

I mean, I like the concept of sitting down as a family and talking through the truths of the Bible together.  But when it comes to sitting down and actually doing it, in my head it just comes off being silly.  I keep imagining a family all cozy in their den, with the children in the pajamas, sitting around a fire.  Dad gets out his guitar, and they sing a song together.  The children are gleaming as mom and dad, in their footed pajamas, talk about how God changed their soul…at breakfast that morning.

Weird, no?

This Christmas season, though, I’ve found a new resource I’m going to try.  And I won’t be wearing any footed pajamas when I read it.

Because I really want my son to understand the beauty of the Christmas season.  Why we give gifts.  Why we decorate our house.  Why we visit family.

Because in all of the hustle and bustle of getting ready, it’s incredibly easy to forget to instill in my son the values that are driving our generosity.  I want to raise a son that understands our traditions, and celebrates them with as much life and vigor as we do.  And not just because he’s excited about getting gifts from a fat man whose belly jiggles.

Here’s the new ebook, called Christmas Reboot, written by a good friend of mine, Alan Danielson.  You should pick up a copy.  It’s only $8.

My family and I are going to be working through this throughout the holidays.  I’ll let you know how it goes.  I’m pretty stoked about it.

Will you join us?

 
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