Been Reed - Life and Theology. The musings of a young pastor.

Page 44 of 86

5 ways to create trust online

For any leader, creating trust is essential.

Merriam-Webster.com defines “trust” as “reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something : one in which confidence is placed.” So creating that trust in relationships formed is crucial for the growth of the organization that you lead. And when it comes to social media, trust is absolutely crucial. Since you’re one voice among millions, you get one shot with potential followers. One eye-grabbing tweet. One game-changing blog post. And if you don’t capture people there, you’ve likely lost them forever. Hate it if you want, but that’s the game.

Without trust, people won’t follow you. Well…they’ll follow you for a little while. But positional leadership will only get you so far. With trust, you can develop healthy, robust communities.

5 ways to create trust online

Consistency – I’ve given up on trying to figure out which posts are going to do well and which aren’t. I’ve resorted to this: post consistently. I’m bound to strike a nerve with someone at some point.
Quality – Add value, create discussion, spark interest, share an idea, encourage change, or share your story. If it’s anything less, then why post?
Honesty – people are looking for transparency and relate-ability…not just someone who has got it all together. Don’t just tweet the good things…tweet the bad ideas, the failed initiatives, and ways you’ve struggled.
Generosity – it’s not just all about you, promoting your stuff, making a name for yourself. It’s also not just about giving products away. Give away ideas, encouragement, and insights.
Uniqueness – if you start something new, then you are, by nature, unique in that area. If you’re jumping into an existing area, let your platform set you apart from the rest of the pack. Your story’s not the same, your passions aren’t the same, your job’s not the same, and your family’s not the same. Don’t try to be me, and I won’t try to be you.

Trust is essential in building any relationship. Social media is no different.

What am I missing? How do you build trust? Jump in the conversation HERE!

Connecting in Communities

April 22, 2011 / Ben Reed / 2 Comments

Eddie Mosley (on Twitter HERE, Facebook HERE), executive director for group life at LifePoint Church in Smyrna, TN, has just released a book through NavPress entitled Connecting in Communities.

Eddie, a good friend of mine, is a practitioner. He has successfully led small groups around the country, and is consistently helping churches raise the value and health of small groups. This book is a gem for anyone in the small group world.

I had the chance to Skype with Eddie about his book. Check out the interview below.

Eddie Mosley final project from Ben Reed on Vimeo.

If you’re a small group leader, small group pastor, or are a part of a church that offers small groups, you need to read this book. Pick up your copy of the book HERE.

The anticipation

April 20, 2011 / Ben Reed / 9 Comments

I love being a dad.

It’s not easy, by any stretch of the imagination. But it’s good.

And one thing that we as a family love is laughing together. And one way I personally promote that is by tickling my son. It makes both of us laugh hysterically.

I don’t know if you’ve ever tickled a 2-year old, but it’s pretty funny. It’s hard not to laugh along with them.

And I noticed this the other day: my son starts laughing before I even tickle him.

I just curl up my hand, like I’m going to tickle him…and just get it close to his belly, and he starts to cringe up in laughter. And it’s not one of those courtesy chuckles. It’s an all-body laughter.

The anticipation plays into his overall tickle experience.

And I’m convinced that Sunday mornings are similar.

From week to week, we should be building anticipation as to what’s coming next time. Whether that’s through

sermon series
serving opportunities
small group/Sunday alignment
emails saying, “Get ready…”
social media connections
website resources
mixing things up on Sundays so people really don’t know exactly what to expect
building relationships that encourage continued gathering with other believers

We should be thinking, “What’s encouraging our folks to come back next week?”* Is there a reason for a newcomer (who may or may not be a follower of Christ) to return? How are you communicating to them that coming back next week is vital? Are you following up throughout the week?

If you believe that the message you’re presenting is valuable, why would you not create tension and anticipation for what’s coming next?

TV shows do it. Movies do it. Radio talk shows create it. Teachers create it. Guys who want a second date build it.

If you want a second round with a visitor, you’ve got to build anticipation.

How are you building anticipation?

Should we build anticipation, or should the message simply speak for itself, standing alone?

*Before you leave theologically charged comments, let it be known…I believe that God is the one who draws and changes hearts. He is the Motivator. It’s his kindness that leads us to repentance. I just don’t want anything to get in the way of that, if I can help it.

What keeps you up at night…

April 18, 2011 / Ben Reed / 2 Comments

…reveals what’s important to your heart.

Here are things I’m wrestling through:

Is our small groups system really creating disciples?
Is our small groups system a great picture of Gospel community?
What does it look like for our whole church to be moving in the same direction?
What’s next?
Am I leading in such a way that others are growing to love God and people more?
Is my ministry online truly helpful? What needs to change so that it does more good?
Am I leading my family well? How can I do a better job?
Is my son growing towards being a man of God?

These are the things keeping me up at night.

If you’re leading an organization…what is it that is causing you to sweat, go to work early, pray more, fast more, sleep less, and work harder?

If you don’t know what that is, maybe you should stay up at night and figure it out…

One day soon afterward Jesus went up on a mountain to pray, and he prayed to God all night. At daybreak he called together all of his disciples and chose twelve of them to be apostles… – Luke 6:12-13

Play the back 9

April 16, 2011 / Ben Reed / 4 Comments

You may have seen this, but let me fill you in.

Kevin Na, 27 year old PGA Tour golfer from South Korea, turned pro at age 17. He skipped his senior year of high school. He’s no slouch of a golfer.

He was playing in the PGA Tour’s stop in San Antonio, the Valero Texas Open. During round 1, on the 9th hole, Na had…um…one of those holes. If you’re a golfer, you know what I mean. It’s one of those holes where nothing goes right, and you feel like you have no clue what you’re doing. You begin to wonder why you’re even playing golf, and if in fact you have ever played before.

After going right, into the trees, off of the tee, re-teeing, going right again, and proceeding the knock it around in the woods for a while, Na finally sunk a 6-footer for a cool 16. He set the record for the most strokes in a PGA tour event on a par-4.

Here’s his meltdown.

But here’s the rest of the story. Na turned and played the back nine at -3. He didn’t give up, even after an epic meltdown! Here’s what he said in an interview:

“I was pretty proud of the way I handled the situation. And after that, I shot -3 on the back nine.”

That takes some courage, doesn’t it? Likely many people would’ve just walked off of the course and quit the tournament. They would’ve packed up their bag and been done for the day. But not Na. He knew he still had work to do.

Maybe you’ve felt like Na.

You’ve had an epic meltdown. You’ve failed your work, your church, your home, your family. And it feels like it’s time to hang it up. Call it quits. Give up on any significant dreams or goals. And just give in to a life of insignificance.

But thankfully, God’s in the business of restoration. And He loves to redeem His people. He’s done it throughout history. And He can do it again in your life.

Na may have still missed the cut. But he didn’t quit.

You may have lost your job, your career, and some significant relationships in your failure. You may feel like there’s nowhere to go from here.

But don’t quit. If you’re still alive, God has plans for you on this Earth.

Take a step of faith in the right direction.

Thankfully, God hasn’t quit on you.

Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you. – God (Hebrews 13:5)

Love is patient and kind; love never gives up. (1 Corinthians 13:4, 7)

An open letter from church visitors

April 15, 2011 / Ben Reed / 5 Comments

Dear local church,

You do weird things. And please don’t tell me you have no idea what I’m talking about.

You eat tiny crackers and drink tiny glasses of grape juice.
You sing. Loudly and passionately. And it’s 8:30 on a Sunday morning. Seriously, who sings, out loud, where others can hear them before 9:00?
You ask people to come down front. Nobody at my son’s baseball game has ever asked me to make a big life decision right in front of the whole stadium.
You tell me I need to go somewhere else, into someone else’s home, to really connect.
You pass a bucket for me to put money in. Do I have to pay to worship here?
You lay hands on people to pray for them. Never seen that one done in a helpful way in a PTA meeting. Never.
You preach from the Bible, and keep referring to it as an authority in your life, but I don’t see it like that. It’s a bit strange that you would put such weight into such an old document.

I’m not saying that these things are wrong. They’re just weird to me. I need you to help me understand why I need to do them. Why they’re important. Why you do them every week. Why I need to join in. Why I feel like such an outsider when I’m there.

I don’t want to be an outsider. Nobody does. I’d like to feel like I’m a part of you guys…but I need you to be patient. Walk me through understanding and doing. It took you lots of years to get where you are…help me get there. But don’t assume that, after 2 weeks, I’m going to “get” it.

Because when you don’t help me understand, you push me away…and it seems you don’t care that I come back.

Signed,

-Church visitors

Spiritual procrastination

April 13, 2011 / Ben Reed / 36 Comments

The most dangerous word for your spiritual growth is “tomorrow.”

image by Jeff Boriss

I’ll share my faith with my friend…tomorrow.

I’ll start praying more regularly…tomorrow.

I’ll start reading my Bible…tomorrow.

I know God want me to _____, so I will…tomorrow.

I’ll start treating my wife with respect…tomorrow.

I’ll become a better parent…starting tomorrow.

I’ll quit doing ______…tomorrow.

I’ll choose to forgive…tomorrow.

I’ll choose joy, not anger…tomorrow.

I’ll choose to serve…tomorrow.

I’ll take charge of my spiritual growth…tomorrow.

Stop. Saying. Tomorrow.

Today is the day.

Look here, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we are going to a certain town and will stay there a year. We will do business there and make a profit.” How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone. – James 4:13-14

Social media as Amuse Bouche

April 12, 2011 / Ben Reed / 2 Comments

Recently, my wife and I ate at a 5-star restaurant. It was a fantastic experience. you can read about it HERE.

For the first time, I started the meal off with an amuse bouche.

I had to Google it.

Amuse bouche is, according to Wikipedia HERE, a small, bite-sized hors d’oeuvres. Sounds pretty…un-filling, right?

It was.

But that wasn’t the point.

The point was for the chef to show his artistry and skill in combining flavors, textures, and temperature. It was for him to put his heart and soul into one bite, so that you take that bite and instantly see his skill, care, precision, and love of food.

And I’m pretty sure that social media is quite similar.

Social media as amuse bouche

Communicate more through communicating less. With Twitter, you have 140 characters. On my blog, I try to keep it less than 500 words. And that doesn’t mean that you can’t communicate much…it means that you’re required to craft your message to be consumed in one bite. So that, in one pass, a reader comprehends your message and knows what you’re calling them to.

It’s not intended to be a full meal. Don’t think that you have to flesh out a thesis in social media. Communicate one message clearly, and be okay with the fact that you’re not going to be able to dispel all arguments in 140 characters. That can’t be your goal…you don’t buffet-style an amuse bouche. If the thought takes more time and words to develop, consider spreading the post(s) out over the course of a few weeks. Think: bite-sized.

Pour your heart and soul into the effort. You only get one shot. One bite. One read. If you don’t capture their attention quickly, they’re gone, moving on to someone who has perfected the craft better than you. Highlight your artistry and creativity.

Use multiple ingredients that don’t apparently go together. In an amuse bouche, artistry is highlighted when the chef pairs flavors and textures that one wouldn’t naturally pair. Social media is strong when you challenge people to think differently about each aspect of life, drawing truth from environments and situations that others may overlook.

Do you tend to ingest social media in broad, quick passes?

Do you create social media knowing that this is how it’s consumed?

The limited value of guest-posts

April 11, 2011 / Ben Reed / 6 Comments

I’m in the middle of a series of guest posts. You can read it HERE.

And I’ve had people asking me how my blog traffic is changing because of these guest posts from big-name players in the small groups world.

You’d think that it would drive traffic up. These guys I’m getting to guest-post are well-known in the small groups, social media, and church conference world. You’d think I would get a significant hit the day that these posts go live, and a residual effect moving forward.

Because not only are these guys well-known in these spheres, they’re putting great posts together! So I’ve got consistent, high-quality guest posts…the numbers should go up, no?

Nope. The numbers have stayed relatively the same. There have been no positive gains.

But that’s not why I solicit guest posts. I’m not looking at my blog asking, “What’s in it for me?”

Benefits of the guest post:

Helping someone else get their name out. When you allow a guest to post, you open up their content to your readers. Their “name” can then extend to the people who visit your site regularly, and thus their message is broadcast to a wider audience.

Using your platform to benefit someone else. You’ve spent time and energy building your platform. Through consistent, quality content, you’ve crafted an image of who you are. Allowing someone to guest post gives them the chance to build on your success. Especially when the guest poster is new to the blogging scene.

Continuing to reinforce your brand. As long as the guest post fits within the normal range of your topics, you can reinforce your personal (or corporate) brand by adding another voice to the conversation.

But you know what the best part of guest posts are?

Being generous. And this generosity goes both ways. It’s extended to the blog, because this guest author is sharing his or her valuable insights and wisdom. And it’s extended to the author, because that author is given a platform that he or she didn’t work to attain.

Social media is at its best when people are being generous.

How have you seen the generosity of social media in action?

Have you guest-posted on a blog before?

Leadership Lessons from an iPhone game

April 7, 2011 / Ben Reed / 14 Comments

I don’t play iPhone games often, but one that I’ve found incredibly addictive is Flight Control.

Never played it? Just don’t. It’ll suck you in, and you’ll be so concerned about landing those silly little planes that your eyes will start to twitch.

But there are a few lessons about leadership you can learn from Flight Control.

Leadership lessons from an iPhone game

1. Things gets progressively busier, and there’s nothing you can do about that.

Life never slows down, does it? Don’t expect that, once you hit “that spot,” or “that season,” things will slow down. Learning to manage your commitments is key, because those commitments will only increase in number and responsibility.

2. It’s okay to hit the pause button.

In fact, you need to do that. Take a vacation. Get away. Put the phone down. Disengage from social media. I did recently. And it was incredibly refreshing.

3. You can set something in motion, but in order for it to reach its destination, you’ve got to check back in and help change things around.

In leadership, you can’t always expect that everything you start, every other leader you empower, will never need you to check in. Managing is an important aspect of leadership.

4. It’s okay to quit and start over.

An idea you’ve been trying quit working? Not as effective as you’d like? Then quit trying to make it work. Scrap it and start from scratch. If you’re not willing to scrap your program for the health of the organization, you may be too closely connected to your idea.

5. Looking towards the future keeps you motivated to do better each time.

You’re not going to perfectly execute everything you start. If you did, you’d be un-human. Failure is an important component to success.

So…you ready to buy this game?

* for more ‘lessons from an iPhone game’, see my friend Jonathan Pearson’s post HERE