Leaders should dream, because without dreaming there’s no forward momentum.

But dreaming without leading can leave you out-dreaming your team.

Photo Credit: Creation Swap User Rob Gros

A good friend of mine has a boss that lives in her dream world. Her boss is living out her dream of owning her own small business…this is what she’s wanted to do her whole life. And she gets frustrated when those she’s hired don’t have hearts that beat for the business like hers does, and when her employees aren’t as personally invested in her dream as she is. Though she has great employees (case-in-point, my friend), they feel like they can never measure up to the standard that their boss sets as a pace for the organization, even when they’ve accomplished their job well.

I’d love to say that this only happens in the secular world, but I’d venture to reason that you’ve seen this dynamic on Sunday mornings at church. Maybe you’ve even fallen into this trap.

Ever have a volunteer you’re responsible for not show up? Ever been frustrated by that?

When church leaders grow frustrated because they’re out-dreaming those they’re leading, they often heap guilt on others. Here’s a scenario for you:

Sorry, I can’t make it this Sunday…it’s been a crazy week…I’m tired, my kids are tired, and I’m just not going to be able to make it to volunteer in the parking ministry…

Sorry I can’t make it this Sunday, we’re going out of town next week and I need to get things ready…

Sorry I can’t make it this Sunday, I’m going to the _____ game Sunday afternoon…

To which every church staffer thinks

I’ve had a hard week too…I’m tired…and I want to go to that game!!

And the follow-up thought, if you’ll be honest with yourself right now, is this:

Do they really love Jesus? Because if they did…

Confession Time

I’ve fallen into the trap of out-dreaming those on my team. See, I’m living my dream right now. I absolutely love what I do. I love my church, the team I get to work with, and what I get to do within it. And sometimes…*shocker*…I have some volunteers that aren’t as committed to leading their small group as I am to leading this ministry.

I find a part of me growing frustrated that they’re not as invested in this as I am. Frustrated that I put long, hard hours into leading the ministry, while they have other dreams they’re pursuing (which, in the moment, I’d call less important). I’ve even thought, “If it were me, I’d give up _____ so I could lead my small group.” Or, “If I were them, I’d not let my kids do _____ so that I could love people and lead my small group well…” Those are some low moments for me.

In those moments, I have to take a deep breath and remind myself that this is my dream, not theirs.

Leaders: your dream is your dream. Don’t expect that everybody is going to be invested in it like you are.

Sure, you cast vision well. Sure, you recruit leaders well. Sure, you sell the mission well. But at the end of the day

• It’s your vision, not theirs.
• It’s your job, not theirs.
• It’s your passion, not (necessarily) theirs.
• You live for this, they don’t.
• They have other dreams, you don’t.

This shouldn’t discourage you from dreaming. But if you’re going to dream, dream well.

Leaders that Dream Well

• Allow people to dream with them. Maybe you’re dreaming too small. If you’re going to accomplish your dream, you’ve got to have other people on board. More people = more laborers = more ideas = more solutions = bigger, more effective dreams.
• Allow flexibility in their dream. In this, you may have to actually give up part of your dream, but in the process, your give your dream the chance to go further. Allowing flexibility means you work from a modified, but unified dream. More flexibility = more buy-in = more unified vision = bigger, more effective dreams.
• Equip people, but don’t leave them hanging. It’s not their job, after all, to make sure your dream is accomplished. Equip them to work well, but don’t send them out to do a job because you don’t want to do it. Help them accomplish the vision you’ve given them, don’t simply heap a burden on them. More support = more effective work = less burnout = bigger, more effective dreams.
• Lead well. Lead people to adopt your vision. Don’t look at this from the “You’re either all-in or all-out” vantage point. Lead people to buy in to your vision. Cast vision well, love well, and be patient. After all, how long did it take before you fully followed what God was calling you to do? More leadership = more leaders involved (leaders attract leaders) = more followers involved (leaders also attract followers) = bigger, more effective dreams. 

Have you ever out-dreamed your team?

Have you ever been expected to adopt someone else’s dream that wasn’t your own?

 

Recently, my church, Grace Community Church, ordained me.   It was an unbelievable kind of an experience for me. It was so incredibly special, and will be a great marker for me for the rest of my life.

But I had a lot of people ask me why I wanted to get ordained. Why, especially because I was already licensed (which is the process that the state recognizes for me to be able to marry and bury)?   Why, especially because it wouldn’t change my title or job description at Grace?   Why, especially because it wasn’t something our church had ever done before?  Why, especially because it’s more of a ‘traditional’ church-y thing, and I’m not ‘traditional’ or church-y?

There are a few reasons why I wanted to be ordained, and why I wanted to do it at this point in my ministry.

Why ordination?

Ordination affirms your call to ministry.

In the process of ordination, I got to share my story, and sit before the elders and others at Grace for them to question me on my calling, my theology, and my future aspirations. We talked through safeguards I have in place in my life, and how I pursue God. Those men affirmed God’s working in my life.   And I needed that.

Ordination tells you that other people have your back.

In a sense, ordination is a time where other guys hear your story and say, “Yep, we understand what God’s calling you to do…now go do it! We’ve got your back.”  And I needed that.

Ordination is an important step for pastors.

People often associate “you know what you’re talking about” with ordination.   There’s a different level of respect.  And it’s not that I think I deserve or have earned that…I don’t think I’m entitled to it. Rather, I know that the title “ordained” carries weight with it.  And I’m ready for that weight.

Ordination helps others understand their call.

In the process of public ordination, a local church sees someone who has been called to full-time vocational ministry. And I’m convinced that when they see that, God works in their heart. And sometimes He begins to plant the seeds of ministry in their heart, too. Because I know that it’s been in hearing other people’s stories that mine has seemed to gain more clarity.  And the church needs that.

Why at this point?

Ordination shouldn’t be rushed.

I’ve been on staff now for nearly 4 years.  I could’ve been ordained sooner, but I wanted to wait until Grace really knew me and my character.   I wanted many people in the church to be able to honestly say, “I can also affirm God’s call on your life.”  If I’d gone through this process earlier, there would’ve been some people who would’ve come down to pray over me.   But it would’ve likely been those people who just felt like they had to do it.  Now, there were lots of folks who came down front to pray over me…and these people have actually done life with me for nearly 4 years. They’ve seen my character and served with me, and are truly willing to stand beside me as I continue fleshing out God’s call for my life.  That’s much more meaningful to me than a forced ceremonial ordination.

I’m glad I went through this process.  It’s help me sure up my call, surrounded me with men who know who I am, and given me a renewed sense of God’s call on my life.

Question:

Have you been ordained?  Was it a good experience for you?

 

Though I could write for days and days on the University of Tennessee Volunteers, that’s not what this post is about.

I’m writing this post to thank the great volunteers that we have at Grace Community Church.

You see, each and every week, we have to set up and tear down our entire audio equipment.  And video equipment.  The entire stage.  And preschool areas.  And preschool stage.  And their computer check-in stations…which so often don’t work.  And children’s areas.  And their stage.  And their audio.  And their video.  And their computer check-in stations…which so often don’t work.  The hallway, with the banners and the tables and the countless handout cards.  The coffee.  The welcome areas.  Volunteer central.  Information central.

We couldn’t do what we do without our amazing volunteers.

 

Laura’s (my wife) Grandpa has lots of “Grandpa-isms.” You know…things that only Grandpa would say.

Things that he has said tens of thousands of times. Things that he has said so many times that, when he begins to say them everybody around him can finish his sentence.

Things like, in speaking of children picking up toys,

If he sees it, he’s got to touch it, if he touches it, he’s got to tote it. To tote something means to take it with you.

Or

When I grew up in Memphis, I would eat anything. I was never finicky. If you’re finicky you will starve to death!

Or

Children…they’re the most precious thing you’ve got.

If he saw a piece of paper on the floor, he would repeatedly point to the paper, then to the trash, saying,

Paper…trash…paper…trash…(repeat 10 times).

When somebody would fall down, he’d say,

You gotta hold on with those prehensile hands.

All male under 5 are greeted with

Hey hardrock!

Finally

There are 4 P’s that I do for my family: provide, procreate, protect…and make memories.”

I know…there are only three P’s…that’s ok, we just don’t point that out to him. If you hear these once, you hear them 10,000 times…and I’m not kidding. When he starts with just one part of one of these phrases, the rest of the family can finish them for him. He says them exactly the same way every single time.

Part of his repeating things like this is just his personality. The family sometimes jokes about this, but in a loving way. They love him, and respect the way that he has led his family and loved his wife. And there’s a great lesson we can learn from this.

Find your own “isms”

You know that people have truly caught the vision of your ministry or organization when they can repeat it to others. It’s so important to have these defining sayings, goals, and values. These values need to be repeated until you’re tired of hearing them.

Are there any “isms” define you and your ministry? What idea is repeated so often that your area of leadership becomes it? What characteristic, or action, or vision, needs to be repeated until people can finish your sentences when you begin to talk?

How can you instill in others the values that you are aiming for? What opportunities do you have to repeat your core values, even to the point where people begin to roll their eyes because they know exactly where you’re headed?

If you don’t yet have anything that is so engrained into you and those you influence that it has become your DNA, what would you like for your “isms” to be?

Here’s a video of Grandpa I put together. Everything he says here would also be included in his “Grandpa-isms,” and our family can attest to that.

 

I’ve been in my current ministry position now for a little over a year. Our church is structured around a three-fold strategy of creating followers of Christ: Gather, Commit, and Serve:

As we GATHER to celebrate Jesus and encounter biblical principles, COMMIT to one another in community groups, and SERVE by using the gifts God has given us to invest in the lives of others, we will grow in our passion for God, our compassion for God’s people, and our effectiveness in God’s work of developing growing followers.

That’s our system, and my role in the system is to facilitate, oversee, and help to develop community groups. I completely believe in our system, the simplicity of it (and the simplicity of what it means to be a be a follower of Christ), and am committed to it wholeheartedly. However, I’m always evaluating it, and specifically, the role of community groups in creating authentic community that fosters growth in godliness.

About two months ago, I was counseling a young man who had lots of questions about his next step in life. Basically, his question was, “What do I do next?” He needed help in thinking through future career options, future spouse options, financial next-steps, etc. He thought that his problem was that he struggled with change, and was afraid to take big steps. Over the course of only a few weeks, we determined that his problem was much greater. The next big step that he needed to take, the one that would determine the course of his life forever, was to become a follower of Christ. I told him that this decision would not necessarily make his life ‘easier.’ It would also not lay out in detail his exact next step. However, he would be resting his future in the hands of the One who created the universe (Genesis 1), who holds all things together (Colossians 1:17), and whose hand cannot be stayed (Daniel 4:35). So, this young man decided to place his faith in Christ!

That’s great news, right? I should be rejoicing, right?

I am, but I’m also saddened.

This man has been in one of our community groups for over a year. He has sat in a group every week, and still was troubled by the question, “What is the gospel?” This man is very intelligent, and can easily comprehend difficult, abstract concepts, but still had the question, “Why did Jesus have to die?” and “What does it mean to repent?” He didn’t know why we needed a sacrifice for our sins, and that Christ had offered himself as our perfect lamb.

If he was just a semi-regular Sunday morning attender, I could feel okay about this. But he’s there every single week, and is one of the most faithful members of his small group.

This bothers me. How could someone be plugged into what I thought was a disciple-producing ministry here at GCC and still have these questions? Let me reiterate that it was not for a lack of intellectual comprehension that this man did not know. He had simply not been asked the fundamental questions of the gospel and had the chance to interact with the Truth.

Is this an isolated issue, or pervasive? Is it a problem with the curriculum that we’re using? Is it a problem with the way that I communicate with my leaders? Is it our system? Is it a leadership training issue? Is it something that needs to be communicated more from the stage?

I realize that this post leaves me quite vulnerable as the leader of the small groups here at our church. But I want to be honest and say that this bothers me. I want to make sure that each of our group leaders is having gospel-centered discussions, both within the weekly group meeting and outside of it. So right now, I’m working through some ideas to ensure, as much as is humanly possible, that difficult questions are being asked, fundamental gospel concepts are being discussed and applied to life, and that those who attend our community groups have the chance to chew on and digest the great, life-changing truths of the gospel.

Is the goal of your ‘system’ discipleship? If not, what is the goal of your ‘system’? Is that goal being met? If it’s not being met, how willing are you to scrap the ‘system’ in favor of the goal?

Next post, I’ll fill you in on what I think the problem is. I actually think I may have nailed the issue. We’ll see.