I delivered a talk (what are you supposed to call something like that when it’s not a sermon?) to a group of pastors the other day on the value of small groups.  I wanted to give them a snapshot of what we do at Grace Community Church, and introduce them to the world of small groups (they all come from churches who have on-campus Sunday School as their form of small groups).  It was not my goal to convince them all that they needed to abandon their way of doing groups, but to challenge them to think strategically about their system, and whether it was accomplishing what they were wanting it to accomplish.  Whether you’re in a Sunday School environment, a small group/home group culture, or a mixture of the two, here are three things your church needs to be doing:

1.  Cast the vision.  Seek to answer the questions, “Why do we need each other?” and “Why are we deficient without small groups?”  Use any of the 38 one-another passages found in Scripture (e.g., 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, Ephesians 4:1-3, James 5:16) to point out the fact that we need each other.  Sunday morning, large gathering services alone are not enough for your spiritual growth.  This vision must be cast from the pastor on stage on Sundays.  The vision must be cast repeatedly, with the pastor sharing both theologically and practically (the pastor himself must be involved in a small group, so that he can share what God is doing in his own heart, and how God is changing the hearts of those in his small group as well) the value of small groups.

2.  Recruit leaders.  How do you count a person as qualified?  Instead of looking at spiritual position, I look at spiritual velocity.  I also don’t lock myself into looking for the gift of teaching.  I’m not asking small group leaders to teach, in the way we traditionally understand teaching.  I’m asking someone to facilitate, lead, shepherd.  That frees me up to recruit tons of more well-qualified people to be small group leaders.  I look for spiritual maturity in the way Jesus defined it in Matthew 22:36-40, as an increasing love for God and others.

3. Define your church’s win.  If a win for you is increasing numbers, don’t be discouraged if disciples aren’t produced.  If you count it a win to see giving increased, don’t scrap your system if numbers decrease.  Know what your win is, define it clearly, and be ready to use that as your measuring tool.  I count it a win when a person takes a step towards becoming a more faithful disciple, and that looks different for every person.  For some, it looks like committing to attend church regularly.  For others, it may look like forgiving their spouse.  For another, it may look like pursuing reconciliation with their mother.  God rejoices in small steps in the right direction, and so should we.

What is your church doing to make small groups a place of dynamic spiritual growth?  If they’re not doing any of the above, maybe it’s time to start.

 

I feel a bit like a hippy, now that my wife and I have switched over to cloth diapers. For a few reasons, we decided to make the shift, and it’s honestly been a pretty good one. I saw this clip on Saturday Night Live, and immediately was grateful that we only made the switch to cloth. If you’re eating lunch right now, do yourself a favor and put it to the side. Trust me.

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Who is your hero?  Do you have a person you look to who has displayed courage in the face of danger, and after whom you can emulate your life?  What is it about that person that is hero-worthy?  What have they done, or are they doing, that causes you and others to take notice?  If you don’t have a hero, find one.  Is there someone in your sphere of influence that you can and should be learning from and following?  If not, then who, throughout your life (maybe even looking into the past), can look to?

Once you find one, be one.  Be a person who lives a life worthy to be repeated.  Paul says it like this, “As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.” (Ephesians 4:1)  Live a life that looks like the God of the universe has saved you.  Live your life in such a way that others cannot help but say, “Wow, that guy’s different, and I want to be like him.”  What does this “different” life look like?  Does it look like a monastic society, removing oneself from the “comforts of the world” in favor of living in communities that are separate from the rest of society?  Does it mean listening to only Christian music and watching only Christian movies?  Does it look like never smoking or drinking, going to a Christian school, wearing Christian t-shirts, drinking Christian water, and being known more for what you are against rather than what you are for?  Let me offer you a different perspective, one that I think Paul (who said, “Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice.” (Philippians 4:9)) would agree with, primarily because he wrote it.  Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.  Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to one hope when you were called— one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all,” (Ephesians 4:2-5) and “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (Philippians 4:8).  This, by no stretch of the imagination or search of Biblical texts, exhausts what it means to be a follower of Christ.  It does, however, paint a picture of what a “hero” of the faith looks like.  Need more examples?  Check out Hebrews 11, where you’ll find tons of heros of the faith.

Are you becoming a hero?

If you need another example of a hero, watch this video of a “true” hero.  Laughter is a good thing.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gn8EQ0azXpQ&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0]

 

I just had lunch with a guy in our small groups ministry, and we talked about the importance of accountability.  We talked about the fact that we all need to have those people in our lives who know everything about us, and are not afraid to ask us difficult, awkward, yet ultimately Christ-honoring, sin-defeating questions.  We need those people who know all of our junk, yet love us still the same.  They don’t love our junk, but they love the chance to help point out the sinful habits and blind spots that we have, and those things (whether good or bad) that ensnare us.  They’re not satisfied with letting us continue in our sin because they “know that he (Jesus) appeared so that he might take away our sins. And in him is no sin. No one who lives in him keeps on sinning. No one who continues to sin has either seen him or known him.” (1 John 3:5-6).  We are sinful creatures, and our sin loses its power when it’s confessed, and brought into the light.

How do you make sure you’re held accountable?  Are you accountable to anyone other than God?  Are you accountable to anyone other than your spouse?

How can you, as a group leader, help those in your group be accountable to each other?

1. Foster an environment of authenticity and vulnerability.  Be real with your struggles, failings, and sinful tendencies.  You’re not perfect, and your group members know that.  When you mess up, confess it!

2. Divide your group based on gender for times of prayer.  I don’t like to air out my dirty laundry in front of another man’s wife, and I’m sure that you feel similarly.  Guys can be more openly honest when it’s just guys in the room.  We understand each other better, know how we think and operate, and often know how to minister to each other and hold each other accountable better than you do.  The same holds true for girls.

3.  If you’re the leader, meet with group members (who share the same gender with you) outside of the normal group meeting.  These times are great for building relationship, and opening up with areas of your lives that are not as easy to bring up in a larger group setting.

4.  Choose curriculum, and ask questions in the group, that cover a wide variety of Scriptures and topics.  You won’t know what areas people in your group struggle with until you ask.

5.  Encourage group members to find somebody that can hold them accountable.  It can be another person in the group, or a believer outside of the group, but it does not have to be you, the leader.  Your role as the leader is to encourage others to put themselves into relationships full of confession, love, and vulnerability.

Accountability, just like spiritual growth, doesn’t just happen.  You have to desire it, and you have to seek it.  Accountability is crucial to your growth in Christlikeness.  How much do you care about your growth?