Category: SmallGroups (page 20 of 20)

Are you accountable to anyone?

March 3, 2009 / / 0 Comments

I just had lunch with a guy in our small groups ministry, and we talked about the importance of accountability.  We talked about the fact that we all need to have those people in our lives who know everything about us, and are not afraid to ask us difficult, awkward, yet ultimately Christ-honoring, sin-defeating questions.  We need those people who know all of our junk, yet love us still the same.  They don’t love our junk, but they love the chance to help point out the sinful habits and blind spots that we have, and those things (whether good or bad) that ensnare us.  They’re not satisfied with letting us continue in our sin because they “know that he (Jesus) appeared so that he might take away our sins. And in him is no sin. No one who lives in him keeps on sinning. No one who continues to sin has either seen him or known him.” (1 John 3:5-6).  We are sinful creatures, and our sin loses its power when it’s confessed, and brought into the light.

How do you make sure you’re held accountable?  Are you accountable to anyone other than God?  Are you accountable to anyone other than your spouse?

How can you, as a group leader, help those in your group be accountable to each other?

1. Foster an environment of authenticity and vulnerability.  Be real with your struggles, failings, and sinful tendencies.  You’re not perfect, and your group members know that.  When you mess up, confess it!

2. Divide your group based on gender for times of prayer.  I don’t like to air out my dirty laundry in front of another man’s wife, and I’m sure that you feel similarly.  Guys can be more openly honest when it’s just guys in the room.  We understand each other better, know how we think and operate, and often know how to minister to each other and hold each other accountable better than you do.  The same holds true for girls.

3.  If you’re the leader, meet with group members (who share the same gender with you) outside of the normal group meeting.  These times are great for building relationship, and opening up with areas of your lives that are not as easy to bring up in a larger group setting.

4.  Choose curriculum, and ask questions in the group, that cover a wide variety of Scriptures and topics.  You won’t know what areas people in your group struggle with until you ask.

5.  Encourage group members to find somebody that can hold them accountable.  It can be another person in the group, or a believer outside of the group, but it does not have to be you, the leader.  Your role as the leader is to encourage others to put themselves into relationships full of confession, love, and vulnerability.

Accountability, just like spiritual growth, doesn’t just happen.  You have to desire it, and you have to seek it.  Accountability is crucial to your growth in Christlikeness.  How much do you care about your growth?

 

Gospel-focused small groups

February 23, 2009 / / 4 Comments

Like I said in the last post, I fully believe in our system of creating followers of Christ. However, I would be ready to throw it out today if the system were the problem.  I never want to be so connected to community groups, and the way that we do them at Grace Community Church, that I am unwilling to abandon them in favor of true discipleship.  My goal in ministry, in a broad stroke, is to “go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.” (Matthew 28:19-20)  My goal is not to start 5,000 community groups and train 10,000 leaders to host a group in their home.  I want to make passionate disciples of Christ!  Right now, the way that I do that is to start new community groups, shepherd our current community group leaders, and recruit new leaders.  Though these activities may seem mundane, I believe that true growth in godliness happens best in the context of community.  So, I willfully and joyfully take on the administrative burden and the difficulties that go along with assimilating people into group life at Grace.

Why are we not making disciples more quickly at Grace?  There are a variety of reason.  Here are five:

1.  Not everybody who hears the Gospel becomes a disciple the first time they hear it.  I know that I sure didn’t!  Did you?  Then why should I expect vastly different results from those in our community groups?  God didn’t give up on me when I rejected His call.  Instead, He continue to pursue me.

2. The devil is real!  “Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” (1 Peter 5:8)  Satan loves to distort the Gospel, remind us that it’s not relevant to us today, and snatch it from our hearts before it has the chance to take root.  In short, he’s vying for the worship of our hearts, and this is true whether the Truth is coming from the pulpit or from a couch in somebody’s living room in a small group setting.

3.  I need to take it upon myself to apply the Gospel to my life every day.  CJ Mahaney, in The Cross Centered Life, says it well,”If there’s anything in life we should be passionate about, it’s the gospel. And I don’t mean passionate only about sharing it with others; I mean passionate in thinking about the gospel, reflecting upon it, rejoicing in it, allowing it to color the way we look at the world and all of life” (15).

4.  Our group leaders need to take it upon themselves to ask difficult questions that drive their group back to the Gospel.  “How are you living out the Gospel today?  How are you more like Christ today than you were 12 months ago?  What part does the Gospel play in your everyday life?  What is the Gospel?  Why did Jesus have to die?  How is the truth that you are a sinner saved by grace affecting the way you parent your children, or love your spouse, or work at your job, or serve in your church?”

5.  Group leaders need to be reminded that they are the shepherd leaders of their group, and as such, should concern themselves greatly with the eternal state of the souls in their group.

Based on that, here are 5 things I resolve to do:

1.  I will not give up on people.

2.  I will create an atmosphere of openness and vulnerability in our groups.  It is only when group leaders, and group members, are open and honest about their struggles, that the more reluctant folks will feel the freedom to open up their lives, and the struggles they are facing.

3.  I will apply the Gospel to my life every day.  I need to preach to myself, reminding myself that I am a sinner saved by grace, that Christ died to free me from my sin, and that Satan wants to destroy the Gospel in my life.

4.  I will develop Gospel questions to put into group leaders hands that help them have intentional, Gospel-focused  discussions that are laid back enough that everybody feels comfortable asking even the most “simple” questions (though these tend to turn out to be some of the most profound questions).

5.  I will pray for all of my group leaders, that they will shepherd their group in a way that honors God and holds high the banner of the Gospel.

Are your groups structured so that basic Gospel questions and concerns can be brought to the table?  Or are you so laid back that the Gospel is never discussed?  Or are you so “holy” that you jump to “deeper” questions (as if there is anything more life-changing and “deeper” than the Gospel!)   Are you group leaders ready and willing to ask these questions?

Do you or your group leaders make the mistake of assuming that, just because a person is attending your church and frequents your small groups, he or she is saved?  How are you giving your group members the freedom to explore faith?

How are you living out the Gospel today?

 

Is your system working?

February 18, 2009 / / 13 Comments

I’ve been in my current ministry position now for a little over a year. Our church is structured around a three-fold strategy of creating followers of Christ: Gather, Commit, and Serve:

As we GATHER to celebrate Jesus and encounter biblical principles, COMMIT to one another in community groups, and SERVE by using the gifts God has given us to invest in the lives of others, we will grow in our passion for God, our compassion for God’s people, and our effectiveness in God’s work of developing growing followers.

That’s our system, and my role in the system is to facilitate, oversee, and help to develop community groups. I completely believe in our system, the simplicity of it (and the simplicity of what it means to be a be a follower of Christ), and am committed to it wholeheartedly. However, I’m always evaluating it, and specifically, the role of community groups in creating authentic community that fosters growth in godliness.

About two months ago, I was counseling a young man who had lots of questions about his next step in life. Basically, his question was, “What do I do next?” He needed help in thinking through future career options, future spouse options, financial next-steps, etc. He thought that his problem was that he struggled with change, and was afraid to take big steps. Over the course of only a few weeks, we determined that his problem was much greater. The next big step that he needed to take, the one that would determine the course of his life forever, was to become a follower of Christ. I told him that this decision would not necessarily make his life ‘easier.’ It would also not lay out in detail his exact next step. However, he would be resting his future in the hands of the One who created the universe (Genesis 1), who holds all things together (Colossians 1:17), and whose hand cannot be stayed (Daniel 4:35). So, this young man decided to place his faith in Christ!

That’s great news, right? I should be rejoicing, right?

I am, but I’m also saddened.

This man has been in one of our community groups for over a year. He has sat in a group every week, and still was troubled by the question, “What is the gospel?” This man is very intelligent, and can easily comprehend difficult, abstract concepts, but still had the question, “Why did Jesus have to die?” and “What does it mean to repent?” He didn’t know why we needed a sacrifice for our sins, and that Christ had offered himself as our perfect lamb.

If he was just a semi-regular Sunday morning attender, I could feel okay about this. But he’s there every single week, and is one of the most faithful members of his small group.

This bothers me. How could someone be plugged into what I thought was a disciple-producing ministry here at GCC and still have these questions? Let me reiterate that it was not for a lack of intellectual comprehension that this man did not know. He had simply not been asked the fundamental questions of the gospel and had the chance to interact with the Truth.

Is this an isolated issue, or pervasive? Is it a problem with the curriculum that we’re using? Is it a problem with the way that I communicate with my leaders? Is it our system? Is it a leadership training issue? Is it something that needs to be communicated more from the stage?

I realize that this post leaves me quite vulnerable as the leader of the small groups here at our church. But I want to be honest and say that this bothers me. I want to make sure that each of our group leaders is having gospel-centered discussions, both within the weekly group meeting and outside of it. So right now, I’m working through some ideas to ensure, as much as is humanly possible, that difficult questions are being asked, fundamental gospel concepts are being discussed and applied to life, and that those who attend our community groups have the chance to chew on and digest the great, life-changing truths of the gospel.

Is the goal of your ‘system’ discipleship? If not, what is the goal of your ‘system’? Is that goal being met? If it’s not being met, how willing are you to scrap the ‘system’ in favor of the goal?

Next post, I’ll fill you in on what I think the problem is. I actually think I may have nailed the issue. We’ll see.

 

The Value of Networking

February 16, 2009 / / 5 Comments

In my line of work, I see much value in networking. I have, despite heavy criticism at times, continued to use Twitter, in addition to Facebook, blogging, lunches and coffee meetings, to network with others. Do you see any value to networking? I wholeheartedly believe that there is. Here are 8 reasons that I think that it is worthwhile. I’ve tried to leave most of them vague enough so that if you don’t work in the church world, like I do, you can apply them in your sphere of influence, because networking is valuable in almost any leadership field.

8 Reasons Networking is Valuable:

1. I don’t have a corner on the market of ideas. In fact, I’m more of a task-oriented person than a guy full of grand ideas. I know that other people in other organizations have lots of ideas, and I benefit in hearing them. Of course, I have to do the work of processing them in our context.

2. Going outside of my organization gives a different, outside-of-the-box (Literally…our office looks like a box.) look. I work out of one office building, in one city, for one church. If I’m not careful, all of my ideas will revolve around one box. It’s helpful to get ideas from outsiders, those who don’t live and breathe the same air that I do.

3. I learn from others who do what I do, only better. I don’t claim to be the most talented, gifted leader. I want to continue to learn from those who perform better than I do.

4. Networking helps me move our organization to where we need to be. In looking at our structure, I see things that need to be improved, but often I’m not sure what our next step should be. In meeting with other leaders, I see that they’ve arrived at many of the places that I’d like for us to arrive, accomplishing moves and advancements that I would like for us to make. Seeing how they got there help my thought process.

5. I can learn from the mistakes of others. If I can have a heads up on ideas and practices that have failed, I can sidestep those failures. When I can sidestep a failure, it’s as if I take two steps in the right direction.

6. We can accomplish more in working together than in working separately. I can strive with all of my might to help grow the kingdom, but my efforts are multiplied when I collaborate with others. I have certain giftings and passions. I thank God for them, but I know that I am not gifted in every way, and don’t have passions in everything. The Church is the body of believers globally. I am not the Church unto myself.

7. Others help me to evaluate my system. Often, I make it a point to lay out our whole church strategy, making sure to show where my area of ministry fits within the system, to those I meet with, so that they can help me evaluate our system. It helps to think through why we do what we do, and to see how that sounds to someone outside of the organization. Maybe, because I’ve worked so long in our system, there are holes I haven’t noticed.

8. I’m encouraged when I hear of the Lord’s work in other churches and in other cities. It’s helpful when I’m reminded that the Lord’s not only at work in my little bubble of Clarksville, TN.

Do you make it a discipline to network with others?

 

Your Story

July 16, 2008 / / 4 Comments

I like to hear people’s life stories.  What has led you them to where they are now?  I love to hear how God’s been all about that person’s redemption.  From the good to the bad, from the neat to the messy, from the easy to the difficult, God has been using people and situations to work for their redemption.  

Last night in our small group meeting, we talked about prayer and asking God for “stuff.”  We ended with discussing the importance of trusting God to give good gifts.  God’s ways and thoughts are so much higher than ours (Isaiah 55:8-9), and that’s a good thing!  If God were to simply grant every one of our requests, our lives would be much more messed up than they already are!  He allows us to experience pain and suffering, choosing not to grant our every request in the way we think it should be granted.  God’s story of redemption for us often isn’t easy (then again, neither was God’s plan to bring that redemption about…the cross was agonizing, no doubt), but it’s good.  You’ve probably heard it quoted: “And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.” But what is our good?  Happiness?  Ease of life?  Pain-free living?  Financial success? Physical health?  No, the answer is found in the very next verse.  “For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers.” (Romans 8:28-29).  The way we measure whether a “gift” from God is good is whether or not it helps to conform us to the image of Christ.  Christ is our good, and anything that points us to a more faithful walk with him we can count as a good gift from God.

 

What’s your story?  Here are a few for you to see, and I really like this format for hearing how God’s worked in people’s lives.  Do you have another good idea for capturing people’s stories?

 

 

The Importance of Relationships

July 10, 2008 / / 0 Comments

At the church where I’m on staff, we’re getting ready to kick off our Fall launch of community groups.  We’ve placed a high priority on relationships here, and believe that life change happens in the context of relationships.  Tim Lane and Paul Tripp say it well, “Individual change and growth in grace…is not simply an individualistic [process].  It happens best – and primarily – within community.” (How People Change, p. 73)  How are your current relationships helping you to go deeper in your walk with the Lord?  Are you involved in relationships like that with other believers?

It’s sometimes pretty tough to feel like you’re really connected to your local church, isn’t it?  It’s easy to get lost in the shuffle, whether you’re a part of a big church or a small one.  You can come and go every Sunday and yet never have much personal connection with other believers.  The Christian life was not designed to be lived alone (see Genesis 2:18).  We were created with a need for God and a need for meaningful relationships with people.  When we choose to live life in isolation, we’re missing out on so many of God’s great blessings.  

Our relationships aren’t perfect.  In fact, they’re often really messy.  It all goes back to sin (see Genesis 3).  When you bring sinners into close proximity with each other, we tend to mess things up.  We sin against each other in our motives, thoughts, and actions.  At times, it’s not pretty!  But Scripture gives us hope that our relationships, while imperfect, can get better.  They can begin to be characterized by love, compassion, forgiveness, and humility where once impatience, pride, dishonesty, and divisiveness were given free reign.
That being said, you need meaningful relationships!  God knows our struggles, our pains, and our weaknesses.  Amazingly, He often helps us with these struggles in the context of community – authentic, life-changing, hope-inspiring, transforming relationships.  Would you like to be a apart of that?  How about starting a small group with folks at your church?  How about starting a Bible study and inviting your neighbors, who may or may not be saved?  If we want relationships that are life-changing and transforming, we’re going to have to work hard at it.  It doesn’t come easily, but it’s worth the effort.   There’s the real opportunity that you’ll get hurt…but, there’s the real opportunity that the Lord is going to use others to change you, if you’ll step out in faith trusting that He’s in control.  
It’s worth the risk.  I’m giving it a shot.  If you try it, let me know how it goes.
 

Small Group Study

June 25, 2008 / / 0 Comments

Every week, as we get started with our community group, I feel like the discussion is going to tank.  We typically get off to a slow start, and I get concerned that it’s going to be awkward as we get into the meat of our discussion.  Somewhere by the middle of our time, though, somebody shares a thought that leaves them vulnerable and transparent, or poses a tough question that we have to wrestle through.  Our group is very willing to go there, too, to the tough issues of life.  It’s really begun to bring our group closer, and I’m starting to see what “doing life together” is all about.

Right now, we’re going through the book of James.  We’re using a curriculum called “Live at Five”, but I’d be satisfied just looking to the Scriptures.  There’s nothing wrong with the DVD and questions (though the DVD is a bit cheesy and forced at times), but the discussion has been so dynamic because our group is reading through James every day.  Whatever chapter we’re talking about, we read that chapter in preparation for our group meeting.  I’m seeing some great spiritual growth in so many of the group members.

I’m pretty passionate about helping people experience authentic, God-centered, Biblical community.  Experiencing that myself makes me even more of a believer in it.  I need it.  You need it.  It is both a need and a responsibility of all believers to be involved in other’s lives.  Here at our church, that happens most often in community groups.  Where does it happen for you?

 
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