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Category: Theology (page 9 of 21)

Authentic community and stinging honesty

Confession 1: I’m not a huge fan of American Idol.

Confession 2: I kind of like the first few weeks of auditions.

It’s probably completely the sinful side of me that enjoys those awful auditions that make our ears bleed. Oftentimes though, I’ll watch the first few weeks of a season then check out once the competition officially begin.

I watch as people who think they can sing like an angel crash and burn in front of 3 judges and millions of TV viewers. As the hour progresses, I’m struck by a strange combination of emotions, wanting to laugh, cry, and scream at my TV all at the same time.

The whole time I’m wondering why so many of these people’s friends told them that they were good. You know that they didn’t arrive at this conclusion all by themselves. Someone else must have told them, “Umm…yeah, that’s good. You should try out for American Idol!” Or, “You’ll really go somewhere with that voice.” Or, “Yes, you are a superstar!”

I began to wonder if we try to do similar things in “community,” encouraging people where they’re not gifted. Praising people when they don’t need to be praised.

Dishonest community

In the short-run, it’s easier to choose a ‘white lie” and preserve the peace than to find a way to lovingly speak the truth.

If I think I have the gift of teaching, but I’m awful at teaching, don’t tell me I’m good. If I didn’t do a good job, don’t tell me, “That’s the best sermon I’ve ever heard!” Be honest! It’ll sting in the short run, but like momma always said, “Honesty’s always the best policy.”
If I think I have the gift of hospitality, but I’m a jerk when I’m hosting people in my home, don’t let me keep thinking I’m doing a great job. Authentic community is honest.
If I think I’m a good writer, but my writing stinks, it would be unloving of you to tell me that it’s wonderful. And ultimately, if I think my writing is good, and I don’t work on it, in the long run I’ll never try to improve. And what I think I’m a superstar at will make me look foolish. I would bear the responsibility for that, but those along the way who were not honest with me would bear the load, too.

Authentic community is others-focused, not just you-focused.

Helping people understand their gifts is vital to the success of any leader. But don’t lead them to believe they’re awesome in something that they’re not. Speaking the truth in love (Ephesians 4:15) to those you participate in community with is a difficult thing to do. But it’s incredibly honoring as you seek to help someone improve a gift they’re using. Your words are setting them on a path to utilizing their gifts, not just embarrassing themselves with it.

Gifts are like muscles…they need to be exercised in order to be effective. Sometimes exercise has to start with a little honesty. And honesty is best received in the context of healthy, authentic, loving community.

Do not lie to each other. – Colossians 3:9

Palpable, conquerable fear

January 25, 2012 / Ben Reed / 4 Comments

image credit: Creation Swap user Jon Davis

There are times in our lives where fear is as palpable as the key in the ignition of your car.

You sit there, wondering if you really have to start the engine. You wonder if it would be easier to plant, unencumbered by the stress that awaits you the next time the engine will go silent. When the engine returns to its resting state, you’ll be much closer to the fear you dread.

There are times in our lives where fear seems to grip our hearts so tightly it squeezes every the life out of each ounce of authentic, unconjured courage. Our past failures fuel the fire where fear slowly burns, the warm coals pulsing red-hot. Out of nowhere, a flame sparks upward and we’re reminded of the heat contained within. The gray coal we thought dormant shows life once again, and our past rears its head and cripples us again.

Fear seeks to destroy you, and the beautiful future laid out before you. It wants nothing less than to maim and leave you insecure. It takes the gifts God has given you and twists them so they appear weak and inert.

And you can do one of two things with that paralyzing fear.

What to do with your fear

You can let it keep you in the driveway, effectively out of the game of idea-sharing, problem-solving, healthy community, where fear and insecurities dominate.

Or you can dominate your fear. Reminded that you weren’t created out of fear, but out of love, you can stoke the flame of your God-given gifts. Laughing at fear’s potential to cripple, you can begin to help others become conquerers. (2 Corinthians 1:3-11; Romans 8:35-39)

If you’re afraid, work through it and let it propel you to work harder, dig deeper, and fight with all the strength you’ve got.

If you’re afraid, use that fuel to charge your creativity to go places it’s not gone. Instead of stuffing fear under the proverbial rug, find a way to explore it, using it for good. (Genesis 50:20)

Whatever you do, don’t let fear win.

For this reason I remind you to fan into flame the gift of God…for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self-control. – 2 Timothy 1:6-7

Playing a Jedi mind trick on yourself

January 23, 2012 / Ben Reed / 15 Comments

image credit: creation swap user Ron Loveday

I’m reading through the whole Bible this year, on the chronological plan via YouVersion. I might have started a little later than you did, but this plan is a great way to read through the entirety of Scripture.

But can I be honest with you?

Sometimes when I read, my eyes gloss over, I finish reading, and I have no idea what I’ve read.

I know, I know…not very holy, right? Not what you’d expect of a pastor. A pastor should 100% internalize every passage…nay, every word. Pastors should read a passage, and instantly be able to explain it using alliteration starting with the letter K. A pastor should read a passage and pretty much have it memorized, able to recall it at just the right time in just the right situation.

I guess I’m not a normal pastor.

Just trying to be honest.

This problem often happens when I read a familiar passage. It feels like I’m not really reading it, my eyes scanning the page like I’d scan a newspaper article I’ve been forced to read. A couple of key words jump out, but the passage feels very little like God’s authoritative, life-giving Word. My scanning eyes wander across the page, but my mind will wanders to other, less important tasks.

The Jedi Mind Trick

So I have decided to trick my mind by introducing the unfamiliar. Instead of reading one of the Bible translations I have read for years (English Standard Version, New Living Translation, New International Version), I’ve started reading the Holman Christian Standard Bible for my daily reading. It’s different enough that I can’t just scan a passage and instantly know what it’s going to say, my scanning habits having to slow down because my mind doesn’t recognize the cadence of the familiar.

Will this work?

Maybe. It’s working so far.

As I read through the book of Genesis, a book I’ve read countless times, it feels fresh again, alive with a renewed sense of beauty. It’s refreshing, my heart and mind approaching each passage as if I’m reading it for the first time. It’s what I needed to do.

Maybe it’s time for you to consider switching translations for your daily reading. Maybe it’s time to trick your mind into doing what you want it to do. Thinking what you want it to think. Meditating on what you want it to meditate on.

Question: What’s your preferred translation?

*image credit: creation swap user Ron Loveday

Fresh starts don’t have to be trendy

January 17, 2012 / Ben Reed / 14 Comments

image credit: Creation swap user Branden Shape

I started my 1-year Bible reading plan today.

16 days after the start of the new year.

Which is neither trendy nor inspiring.

Nobody wants to show up late to a party. Or be the last one to leave. Or catch on to the cool things after everyone else.

I was reading my Bible, but wasn’t in a specific plan, because quite frankly, I forgot to start one. (I was reading my Bible daily…just not as a part of a specific plan) With my trip to Costa Rica, I simply forgot to get cranking on the new plan.

Why does this matter?

Why does it matter that I’m starting my Bible reading plan 16 days after the rest of the world has started their plan, their diet, and their life changes?

Because there are changes that you haven’t made yet, either. There are things you know you need to do, but for whatever reason, you haven’t. And looking at the calendar could leave you paralyzed, because you had good intentions of making those changes over 2 weeks ago.

Maybe you forgot. Maybe you didn’t realize you needed to start. Maybe you intentionally chose to put things off.

Start now! No more procrastinating!

Whether what you’ve been wanting to do is start a Bible reading plan (I’m reading the chronological plan on YouVersion), start a blog, or quit smoking.

It’s time you forgave that person who wronged you.

It’s time to write that book.

It’s time to reach out to your neighbor.

It’s time to break that addiction.

It’s January 17th. It’s not the trendy time to make life changes. But who needs trendy times, anyway?

Instead of standing still, paralyzed by the mountain of changes that need to happen to move you where you need to be, do something. Take a step in the right direction, and God will reward that step.

Don’t wait until everyone else is making changes. Change now!

January 17th is my fresh start.

Care to join me?

What changes are you going to work on?

* image credit: Creation swap user Branden Shape

The power of a homely testimony

January 5, 2012 / Ben Reed / 21 Comments

image credit: Creation Swap User Rob Gros

I grew up in a Christian home. My parents were, and still are, amazingly solid followers of Jesus. I look to them and, when I grow up, want to

Have a marriage like theirs
Follow Jesus like they do
Lead like they do
Find wisdom like they’ve found

They did a great job pointing me to Jesus and, at the ripe age of 6, I began following Him. I didn’t understand it all. But I understood enough to know that, without Jesus, I didn’t have a relationship with God. And I desperately wanted a relationship with Him!

So my journey began.

As I got into high school, I started hearing “those testimonies.” You know which ones I’m talking about. The radical conversions. The “I was a drug addict when I walked in tonight, and now I follow Jesus and I don’t even want for those drugs anymore.” The “I slept with every guy I looked at for 5 years…and now I love Jesus.”

Part of me, the sinful part of me for sure, wished I had a testimony like that. I mean, come on…I began following Jesus when I was 6. What kind of serious trouble can I get in by then? If I’d waited a few years, say, at least 10, maybe I could’ve added a bit of flair to my testimony. I wish I had a cool story. For a few reasons:

1. I bet they had a crazy amount of fun. Sure, it was empty. Sure, it didn’t ultimately satisfy. But dang, they had a good time doing it! (I know…don’t judge me. You’ve had those thoughts too). I know Christians can, and should, have fun, but…

2. They can look back on their life and assuredly say, “I’m different now that I follow Jesus.” From drugs to hugs. From passionate love with the opposite sex…to passionately following Jesus. From fights with classmates to fights with the devil. From…ok, I’ll stop. You get the picture.

That second reason really hung over me. And if I can be honest, some days it still tries to hook me in. “You’re not really different” I hear whispered. “What has Jesus really done in your life?” is shot my way. “Are you sure you’re following Jesus?” enters my doubt.

If I only had a sexy testimony!

The homely testimony

But wait. My testimony is sexy. It is radical. It is powerful.

Once I was lost, and now I’m found. Once I was an enemy, and now I’m a son. Once I was bent against God, and now He’s my friend. Once I was pointing towards an eternity apart from Jesus, and now eternity with Him has begun.

The radical part of anyone’s salvation isn’t the “sin” part. It’s not in highlighting the depth of depravity that the human soul can dive. It’s in highlighting the love of a beautiful King who’s kind enough to save a sinner like me. It’s in pointing people to a God who rescues the powerless. Pointing people to a God who is gracious enough to save someone who, at the age of 6, doesn’t even fully grasp the depth of His love. Someone who, at the age of 6, has no idea what life holds and how grace will be such a powerful part of it.

A word to the doubters

I share this because I know I’m not the only one who has doubts. I’m not the only one who doesn’t have a radical conversion story. I’m not the only one who has sinned more after I began following Jesus than before.

And I’m not the only one who needs a reminder that salvation is about highlighting the love of a good King whose willing and able to rescue.

Question:

Ever doubted?

*image credit: creation swap user Rob Gros

My #1 post in 2011: How a Young Leader Can Gain Influence

January 1, 2012 / Ben Reed / 3 Comments

Young leaders often feel behind the curve.

Every meeting they attend, every team they lead, every trip they plan…they’re the youngest and least experienced. And, in my case, I’ve been in the room where everybody present had children older than me.

I can’t tell you how many looks I was flashed that said, “How cute…he’s trying to lead us…isn’t that neat?!?” As a leader, that’s frustrating.

When I started in my current role, I was the youngest on staff.

When I started in my current role, I was the younger than every one of the small group leaders at Grace.

But over time, I’ve been able to grow some level of influence. And here’s one principle I’ve learned:

Be faithful in the little things.

If I was given a task, even if it didn’t directly relate to my area of leadership, I worked to make sure I completed the task well. Not just half-heartedly, but with excellence.

If I took on a new responsibility, I made sure that I was 100% faithful, to the best of my abilities and even more so, to exceed expectations.

And this principle is biblical:

One who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much… – Luke 16:10

It’s the little things, the smaller responsibilities, that are the greatest test of character, not the bigger ones. Letting the ball drop on the “little things” is a symptom of a heart that’s not ready for bigger, weightier things.

If you’re given smaller, less significant assignments and you fail to meet and exceed expectations, why would those who are in leadership over you trust you to meet and exceed expectations in more significant roles?

The insignificant tasks you take on early in leadership may be just that…insignificant. Except for one thing: they show your character. And if you want to gain influence, character (even more than age and experience) is key.

A certain level of trust must be granted to you because you’re young. But a deeper, more substantial level of trust, the one you’re looking for, is earned.

Trust is earned one faithful step at a time.

Be faithful in the small steps. It’ll pay off in time.

Have you ever dropped the ball on a small responsibility?

Did you see that affect your influence?

*Image credit Creation Swap user Drew Palko

#2 in 2011: Why you wouldn’t like my small group

December 30, 2011 / Ben Reed / 0 Comments

I’m taking a break from my blog between Christmas and New Year’s. I’m re-posting a couple of your favorites (based on clicks) and a couple of my own favorite posts from 2011. I hope you enjoy! I’ll be interacting in the comments section, so if you comment, I’ll respond. Merry Christmas and a happy New Year!

If you’re looking for a small group, you probably wouldn’t like mine.

photo credit: iStockPhoto user Digital Skillet

Why you won’t like my small group

Nobody’s perfect. Our group is rather messy…in fact, much messier than I ever thought it would be. If your life is clean and put together, and messiness frustrates you, you’ll hate our group.
We celebrate small steps, not just the ‘huge’ ones. And small steps may seem insignificant to you, so if you’re not willing to get excited over a step towards Jesus (no matter how seemingly insignificant), you’ll not feel at home with us.
There’s no teacher. Just a facilitator. And the facilitator doesn’t have all of the answers, so if it’s merely answers you’re looking for, mosey on.
We talk about challenging stuff. And I don’t mean that we debate obscure theological dogma. I mean that we work to apply the Scriptures to our lives. If you love a great, obscure theological debate, you may not enjoy our group.
We expect full participation. Nobody in our group is lazy. In one way or another, every member participates, and is vital to the success of the group as a whole. If you want to be a lazy sponge, don’t join us.
We know each other’s stories. No hiding in our group. Our group kicked off its first month by encouraging everybody in the group to share their faith story. Comfortable? Nope. This group’s not for you.
We’re transparent. Mere platitudes aren’t acceptable. If all of your answers start with, “Someone once said…” instead of, “I am dealing with…” then you’ll never be comfortable in our small group.
We’re diverse. If you’re looking for people that are just like you, who look, smell, act, read the same books, live on the same side of town, have the same number of kids…keep moving. You’re not going to find that here.
Our group is going to end soon, and I’m going to ask each group member to take a step of faith and lead a new group…each one of them. No moss will be gathering with us. If you like moss, find another group.
We serve together. Don’t want to serve? That’s fine. Just don’t get frustrated with us when we ask you to join us in making a difference in our community.
We have fun. Every week. We laugh so hard that we snort. We play games, share stories, and study the Bible…all while having fun. I wrote more extensively about the importance of having fun in small groups HERE. If you don’t like having fun, you’re an old codger. And old codgers don’t last long in our group.

* image credit: iStockPhoto user Digital Skillet

#3 in 2011: Dear Church,

December 29, 2011 / Ben Reed / 2 Comments

image via iStock photo user Anthia Cumming

Dear local church,

You do weird things. And please don’t tell me you have no idea what I’m talking about.

You eat tiny crackers and drink tiny glasses of grape juice.
You sing. Loudly and passionately. And it’s 8:30 on a Sunday morning. Seriously, who sings, out loud, where others can hear them before 9:00?
You ask people to come down front. Nobody at my son’s baseball game has ever asked me to make a big life decision right in front of the whole stadium.
You tell me I need to go somewhere else, into someone else’s home, to really connect.
You pass a bucket for me to put money in. Do I have to pay to worship here?
You lay hands on people to pray for them. Never seen that one done in a helpful way in a PTA meeting. Never.
You preach from the Bible, and keep referring to it as an authority in your life, but I don’t see it like that. It’s a bit strange that you would put such weight into such an old document.

I’m not saying that these things are wrong. They’re just weird to me. I need you to help me understand why I need to do them. Why they’re important. Why you do them every week. Why I need to join in. Why I feel like such an outsider when I’m there.

I don’t want to be an outsider. Nobody does. I’d like to feel like I’m a part of you guys…but I need you to be patient. Walk me through understanding and doing. It took you lots of years to get where you are…help me get there. But don’t assume that, after 2 weeks, I’m going to “get” it.

Because when you don’t help me understand, you push me away…and it seems you don’t care that I come back.

Signed,

-Church visitors

* image via iStock photo user Anthia Cumming

#4 in 2011: Does your mind wander when you pray?

December 28, 2011 / Ben Reed / 0 Comments

image credit: Creation Swap User Krist Adams

Have you ever been praying, and start to think of what you have to do for the day?

Suddenly, things pop into your mind out of nowhere that take you off to another place.

I’ve been told that those things are a distraction. That I just need to concentrate harder and seek God more, and that when my mind wanders, I need to have more discipline to stop thinking about ______, or ______. I’ve been told that my wandering mind is a sign of weakness.

I’m beginning to wonder if it’s not so much a sign of weakness, but a sign of

what I’m valuing at the moment. This is both a heart-check (what’s really important to me?) and a “Wow, I’ve really been thinking about that a lot…maybe I should pray about it.” Our mouths speak (or, in this instance, “our minds think”) what our hearts are full of. (Luke 6:45)
God helping me remember things that I need to do. Is it not God that is the creator of the mind? Does He not know all things, including what we need to be in the business of doing? Does He not hold all things together? (Colossians 1:17) We are commanded to ask God for wisdom…don’t be shocked when He gives it. (James 1:5)
God reminding me people and situations I need to pray for. Ever have someone or something, seemingly random, pop into your head when you’re praying? I do. And I’m not so sure that’s a bad thing.

I know that prayer is not all about me and my situation and my relationships and my life…I realize that connecting with God through prayer is essential for simply building my relationship with my Creator.

But I’m going to be easier on myself when my mind starts to wander. I’m taking every thought captive. (2 Corinthians 10:5)

Do you think that God speaks in this way?

Does your mind wander when you pray?

* image credit: Creation Swap user Krist Adams

#5 in 2011: Spiritual Procrastination

December 27, 2011 / Ben Reed / 3 Comments

I’m taking a break from my blog between Christmas and New Year’s. I’m re-posting a couple of your favorites (based on clicks) and a couple of my own favorite posts from 2011. I hope you enjoy! I’ll be interacting in the comments section, so if you comment, I’ll respond. Merry Christmas and a happy New Year!

The most dangerous word for your spiritual growth is “tomorrow.”

image credit: Creation Swap User Jeff Borriss

I’ll share my faith with my friend…tomorrow.

I’ll start praying more regularly…tomorrow.

I’ll start reading my Bible…tomorrow.

I know God want me to _____, so I will…tomorrow.

I’ll start treating my wife with respect…tomorrow.

I’ll become a better parent…starting tomorrow.

I’ll quit doing ______…tomorrow.

I’ll choose to forgive…tomorrow.

I’ll choose joy, not anger…tomorrow.

I’ll choose to serve…tomorrow.

I’ll take charge of my spiritual growth…tomorrow.

Stop. Saying. Tomorrow.

Today is the day.

Look here, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we are going to a certain town and will stay there a year. We will do business there and make a profit.” How do you know what your life will be like tomorrow? Your life is like the morning fog—it’s here a little while, then it’s gone. – James 4:13-14

*image credit: Creation Swap User Jeff Borriss