Category: Theology (page 6 of 21)

The 3 Failures of How we see Sin

August 2, 2012 / / 9 Comments

This is a guest post from Tyler Braun (Twitter, Facebook, Blog). He’s a 27 year-old writer, worship leader, and pastor from Portland, Oregon where he lives with his wife Rose. If you don’t know Tyler, you should get to know him. He speaks winsomely and with great conviction for my generation. His blog (and his book) are worth the read for sure.

Tyler’s first book has just released, through Moody Publishers. If you buy a copy before August 10, he’ll throw in all kinds of goodies. Click HERE for details, and to pick your copy up.

AND…I’m giving a copy away here on my blog. Just leave a comment below with your mailing address, RT this post, share it on Facebook (being sure to tag me), and I’ll pick one winner.

____________________________________

image credit: CreationSwap user uncredited

Sin is a subtle and deceiving creature. Often masked in my life as a new adventure, new opportunity, or new discovery about myself, sin pulls me away from the purposes of God into a world where I become the main character, rather than being a part of the subplot.

I often see sin being reduced to only the biggest of mistakes I’ve made in my life. Is that the totality of sin?

Sin is lying to our parents or children. Sin is committing adultery. Sin is breaking the law. Sin is slandering others.

Sin is all those things, but when we reduce sin to only the worst mistakes of our lives we’re slowly allowing sin to become a bigger part of our lives without ever noticing it. Remember, sin is a subtle and deceiving creature, and it goes far beyond the worst mistakes we’ve made in life.

I saw this happen quickly in my life while watching a few seasons of a television series. What pulled me in was the riveting storyline, but soon enough it was effecting my thoughts and how I lived my life. I noticed lust entering into my mind. I began to have more violent thoughts, and before long it was apparent all of my thoughts revolved around me. All this from just watching a television show.

In making sin out to be merely the worst offenses of our lives we commit 3 grievous failures.

Failure to See the Subtle Sin

Sins such as pride, a calloused heart, and lust can run so far underneath the surface of our lives that we never recognize how powerful they are until it’s too late.

Often we view living the Christian life as more of a sin management strategy than a pursuit of a deep relationship with the Creator. When we do this we become good at making sure we stay away from the “big” sins but often fail at evaluating how our hearts are wandering.

We’re all prone to wander. Failing to see the subtle sin can make the wandering devastating.

Failure to Recognize Sin’s Communal Repercussions

The ministries of many of the minor prophets in the Old Testament were often more focused on how our relationship with God flows naturally in how we relate with those around us. God used the prophetic ministry of Amos to the nation of Israel to explain His coming wrath against them, not for the sins of individuals, but the sins of the whole nation.

The prophets understood the reality of corporate and social sin.We look at sin as an individual, personal issue, often overlooking the overwhelmingly strong, yet difficult to see, connection between humans.

The sins impeding our lives affect more than just the person committing the sin.

All sin affects the whole body of Christ.

Failure to Understand the Sin of Not Doing What We Ought

We spend the large majority of our time focused on the sins of commission (the sins we commit) while failing to understand the sins of omission (not doing what we should).

The sins of omission are powerful because they take time to evaluate.

I try spend time every night evaluating the entire day in order to see where I missed opportunities.

It’s easy to overlook or brush aside not doing something we should. Be careful though, inaction is often the worst sin, because we slowly slide into a comfortable life where we fail to grow into who God desires us to become.

What failures do you see in how we view sin?

What other ways have you seen sin deceive you, or others?

 

 

Christian Fatigue Syndrome

July 25, 2012 / / 9 Comments

Growing up, I went to church (I know…that’s a theologically loaded phrase. Just hang with me) a lot. A lot. (read that last sentence slowly for dramatic effect, please)

image credit: CreationSwap user bokeh20

On any given week, we had Sunday morning services, Sunday school, youth choir, discipleship classes, student ministry, Tuesday night outreach, Bible drill, Royal Ambassador’s, and Friday night at the gym. Sprinkle in the occasional Saturday brunch, outreach event, and Judgment House, and our lives revolved around being at the church building. (I’m incredibly thankful for the commitment my parents made to raising me in a godly home…it set me on a trajectory that would shape my life in massive ways)

I remember vividly one late Sunday afternoon sitting on the back deck grilling with my dad. My little brother was swimming in our blue kiddie pool, and mom was there taking it all in. I felt guilty the moment this thought passed through my head, but I let it pass anyway. I guess I was just a little devil child.

I sure wish we could just skip out on going to church tonight.

As I thought it, fire from heaven spit down into my eyes and scorched me.

Turns out, though, the rest of my family was thinking the same thing. We weren’t trying to be heathens, choosing to indulge in our sin rather than worship Jesus. We just all wanted to be together as a family and relax…ahem *Sabbath*…instead of cleaning up, putting on our “Sunday best,” and driving across town to our second worship service of the day.

Maybe you grew up in that sort of environment, too. It’s not that churches set out to heap burdens on people and create guilty feelings when they even think about not attending a Sunday evening service. “Stuff” just happens. One good idea gets thrown on top of another, and before you know it, every night of the week is loaded with a different event.

The Simple Life

“Simple church” (HT: Thom Rainer) doesn’t happen unintentionally. No church drifts into simplicity. Currents take a church towards complexity. Towards an increasing number of functions, events, and opportunities to “go to church.” Since each of these events is linked with a grand idea, a dynamic leader, and the heart of a person who wants to lead people to Jesus, they’re incredibly difficult to stop even when the timing is right.

“Simple” churches give families the time to invest in one another. Time to serve their community. Time to enjoy a Sunday Sabbath. Time to minister to their neighbors. Time to invite people into their home. Time to be the church, rather than simply go to church.

Complex churches give people “Christian Fatigue Syndrome,” wearing people out with good things and not freeing them up to do what’s best. When people are hit with CFS, they become desensitized to authentic worship, boil evangelism down to sharing a tract, and treat biblical community as just another activity on their already-too-busy schedules rather than the life-giving gift God intended it to be.

Time to quit giving people Christian Fatigue Syndrome.

Question:

What does your church ask you to do? Is it increasingly simple? Or complex?

 

 

Beautiful scars

July 16, 2012 / / 2 Comments

I tore my ACL (anterior cruciate ligament…in other words, I broke my knee) in high school. As a senior, I had to go to prom and graduation hobbling around on crutches…just how I’d always dreamed.

ACL reconstructive surgery, then 6 more weeks of crutches and therapy later, I’m left with a scar. 3 scars, to be exact. They stand out on my right knee as reminders of that painful injury.

And they’ll never go away.

image credit: CreationSwap User Jaret Benson, edits mine

No matter how much I pray, how much I wish them to, or how much vitamin E oil I put on them, they’re stuck on my knee for good as a permanent testimony and constant reminder of that injury, the surgery, and the pain associated with it all.

The most embarrassing part of the scars, though, isn’t the scars themselves. It’s how I tore my ACL. But that’s another post for another day. 🙂 I just keep telling myself that chicks dig scars. That’s still a thing, right?

Scars of a Different Kind

Lots of us, though, carry scars from different injuries. Scars not from a physical accident, but from pain of a different kind. Pain from broken relationships, broken dreams, unrealized potentials. Some have been the product of our own bad choices. Others have been forced on us without our consent. Our scars remind us constantly that we have been injured, marked, and forever changed. Behind the scars lie the most horrific events in our lives. The scar is the outward-facing result of pain we wish had never happened.

We try to hide those scars, but a pair of pants and a long-sleeved shirt won’t do the trick. So we hide behind beautiful masks, thinking nobody will notice. But they don’t go away, do they? We begin to look at the scars not as battle wounds we can be proud of, but as a mark of disgrace that spreads to the inner fibers of who we are and of the story God has thrust upon us. A reminder that life’s not fair, not easy, and that even our own stories are broken.

A deeper reality

Do you know what scars really represent, though?

Healing.

They represent that an injury is gone. You’re forever marked, but not plagued by a constantly open wound. The wound scabbed over, then scarred. It leaves you looking different, but healed.

Scars represent healing from a traumatic event. They remind us that though life was seemingly unbearable, God has mended the wound, reminding you constantly of the healing that happened.

Look at your scar as a disgrace if you’d like. As an ugly part of you that everybody stares at, questions, and judges you for.

Or embrace that as part of your story. As part of your healing and restoration. As a unique piece of your journey that God intends to use to heal others.

Life-Changing Scars

Scars will change your life, if you’ll let them. It’s someone Else’s scar that will bring you ultimate healing (Isaiah 53:5), and your own scar, as tarnished and sensitive as it may be, that God can use to speak hope into someone else’s. (2 Corinthians 1:3-7)

Life leaves us with ugly scars that stand out, occasionally still hurt, and attract attention.

But scars are a symbol of healing and the restoration that only God can bring.

 

 

The power of food

July 11, 2012 / / 13 Comments

It was a normal workout at Crossfit solafide. Tough, but normal. Time trials get my adrenaline pumping.

image credit: Flickr user CrossFit Pulse

I blew through the 400m run. Smoked it. I felt a little more gassed than normal. “No big deal, though,” I thought. “I’ll recover.” At least I didn’t tear my quad.

Next was 100 pullups. Normally, this is something I could blaze through. But by 30, I was spent. My energy was zapped. I bumped it up to 62 by the 5 minute mark. A bit of encouragement helped.

100 situps, 100 squats. Got ’em.

But then I thought I was going to die. Right then and there, on the black gym mat that smells like rubber and sweat and stale, crusty socks.

I was staring into the face of 100 push ups.

Realize this: Cross Fit is often as much of a mental exercise as it is a physical one. And you’re not going to beat me mentally. I’m like the Evander Holyfield of mental exercises. Or, wait…that’s too early-2000s.

Turns out that this day, it was the physical side of the workout that got the best of me.

I made it through the 100 push ups, but thought that my lunch was going to join that cursed black mat.

Finally, it was a 500m row. Done and done.

Immediately afterwards, I still felt like I might get the distinct privilege of seeing lunch again. I’ve had this feeling before, but this time I couldn’t shake it. Then came a case of the dizzies. Lightheadedness. ‘I can drive home,’ said my sweet wife. “Nah…I’m ok.” Note above: you’re not going to beat me mentally.

Driving home, I couldn’t bring myself to talk much. Dizziness continued and I felt like I needed to lay down.

Then my hand cramped so hard I had to pry it open with my other hand. A few times. Then came the chills, and I had to lay on the floor in our den to hold myself together. Turns out it smells a little better than the gym floor.

It was only after I ate a little food and drank a protein shake that I began to return to normal.

I had been dangerously close to…something. I don’t know what, but I was dangerously close to it. (just hang with me…being dangerously close to something adds dramatic value, right?). All because I hadn’t eaten much throughout the day. A small breakfast, smaller lunch, and some water were not enough for me to sustain a tough workout. I ran out of gas. When I was at the bottom, I had no reserve to draw from. My tank was empty, and I still had a few miles to go.

The turn

Isn’t the same thing true for us spiritually? You get out what you put in…or what you don’t put in. Spend time away from God, and you’ll find yourself drying up spiritually. Quit feeding your soul, and when tough times come, you’ll have nothing left to give.

It’s when life falls apart that these inadequacies come to light. It’s after a few tough rounds that you realize you’re not where you want to be spiritually. Or, at the very least, not where you thought you were.

Listen to the Psalmist:

Oh, the joys of those who do not
follow the advice of the wicked,
or stand around with sinners,
or join in with mockers.
But they delight in the law of the Lord,
meditating on it day and night.
They are like trees planted along the riverbank,
    bearing fruit each season.
Their leaves never wither,
    and they prosper in all they do. – Psalm 1:1-3

Plant yourself beside the River and you’ll not wither under the burdens of life.

The way you handle life is a reflection of what you have put in to your body. And the training starts now. Not tomorrow. Not next week. Now. If you wait to work on your spiritual life until things fall apart, you’ll find yourself face-down on a crusty-sock-smelling gym floor.

Want to grow up spiritually? Start now.

Want to be a better mom? Start now.

Want to mature in your leadership? Start now.

Whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. – Philippians 4:8

 

 

6 Social Media Rules Every Pastor Should break

July 5, 2012 / / 8 Comments

There are lots of social meda “rules” that form over time. Just as with any product or service, usage often determines the unspoken set of ground rules. And if you’re not careful, those “rules” can pigeon-hole you.

And nobody likes a pigeon hole. Well, nobody but pigeons.

image credit: CreationSwap user Paule Patterson, edits mine

Whether you’re a pastor that’s a casual user or a power user, a rookie or a veteran, there are certain rules that you should adhere to. Rules that will help you with engagement…and help you not come across as

1. Completely out of touch with culture.

2. A self-centered self-promoter.

3.  A person that others unfollow when they read your updates.

So here are 6 rules that every pastor should break daily with social media.

6 Rules Pastors Should Break

1. Only quote the Bible

We know that you’re in love with the Bible. We get it. But there’s got to be more to who you are than random quotes from Scripture, right? Didn’t Martin Luther say anything good? CS Lewis? Can’t you come up with anything worth saying that’s at least remotely original? How about reading your Bible and applying it…and making that an update?

2. Keep up your “professional pastor” persona.

You’re not a walking Christian zombie, are you? You don’t only read Christian books, only watch Christian movies, and only eat at Christian restaurants, do you? There has got to be more to you than the Christian subculture. Building relationships with those outside of the faith isn’t going to happen if you’re tweeting YouTube videos out like this one, of Michael W Smith from the late 80s. Gotta love the vest. I think the song should’ve gone, “Nobody knew I could rock a vest like this…”

3. If you’re frustrated, complain. A lot.

Twitter can become a megaphone for you to voice your complaints about a lot of things: culture at large, politics, “other” pastors, or even your own church. Complaining doesn’t become you, though. In fact, Paul urges us

Don’t grumble about each other, brothers and sisters, especially on Twitter… – James 5:9 (additions mine)

 4. Never update during “work” hours.

Give people an inside peek into who you are and what you do during your normal day. A behind-the-scenes, if you will. Social media can be a great voice for Truth and engagement throughout your week. Don’t have time to update during your work day? Schedule updates when you’ve got a few minutes.

5. Never share personal information.

Bologna. Share who you are. Share what you value. Talk about your family. Talk about your struggles. Share your pain. Your joy. Your victories.

6. Only follow other Christians.

If pastors want to bring hope to the hurting, grace to the downtrodden, and Truth to the places where people engage, we’ve got to track along with those outside of our Christian bubbles. And here’s a freebie for you…nobody judges your theology by who you follow on Twitter and Facebook.

 Question:

Do you interact more on Twitter, Facebook, LinkedIn, or on your blog?

 

Roots, Fruits, & Getting it Right

June 26, 2012 / / 3 Comments

I’ve made it no secret that I’m loving me some amateur gardening. My wife and I have tinkered with raised bed gardens now for a few years. We’ve moved the garden, planted different vegetables, started from seeds, started from plants, experimented with fertilizers, sprayed for deer, thrown oranges at deer (and hit them, thank you very much), and had a blast doing it.

But do you know one thing that’s never happened?

We’ve never had a plant that shot its roots towards the sky and its fruit down into the ground.

We’ve never had to say,

Aww shucks (because that’s what gardeners say…), this plant got it wrong…we need to dig it up and turn it over.

Wouldn’t it be weird to see roots growing towards the sky? To have to dig into the ground to get your fresh tomatoes? To wonder, when you planted your squash, whether the plants would guess, correctly or incorrectly, which direction was “up” and which was “down”?

Plants grow the “right” way because God intended them to grow that way. Science may have pinpointed the reason why this happens, but that doesn’t discount the hand of God to sovereignly direct things for His good and our benefit.

The crazy plant

I wonder how often a plant questions its Maker, though.

Wow, how great would it be for me to do things my way? I so hate growing towards the sun. If I could only sink my flowers down deep into this dark soil, things would be much better.

Ridiculous, no? We all know that that won’t work. Roots have to go into the soil. Fruit grows in the sun. (well…unless you’re a potato. But that’s another post for another day) It doesn’t work if this process is reversed. It’s not how plants are supposed to function.

We’re like a crazy plant

We do the same thing, though, in our lives, when we think we know better than God. We ignore the full life that God offers us. We go at life our own way, ignoring the wisdom God offers through others, through Scripture, and through life experiences. We think that we must know better. That our way must be the best. That roots don’t grow deep into the soil. That our roots need a bit of sunshine, and our fruit a bit of darkness.

There is a way that seems right to a man, but its end is the way to death. (Proverbs 14:12)

But life doesn’t always happen as we’d like it to, does it? What we thought would happen by the time we turn 25 hasn’t. We’re not married. Or we don’t have children. Or we’re not in our dream job yet. Or we don’t have a house. Or we don’t have much money. Or we haven’t finished our degree. Or our dad still doesn’t want a relationship with us. By 40, our kids don’t like us. We’re on our 3rd marriage. Still in debt. Still have a dead-end job. Maybe life has left us trashed.

And life itself has stopped making sense.

If God is who He’s claimed He is, our natural inclination would be to accuse, blame, and turn our backs on the One who has created it all.

But let me challenge you with a better way. I think it’s time to trust the Guy who knew us before He crafted us in the womb (Psalm 139:13-16). Who knew what He was doing before we were born.

Even when it doesn’t make sense. Even when things are chaotic. Even when things are falling apart.

The One who created all of this knows what’s best. His perspective is bigger than ours. His ways are higher than ours. (Isaiah 55:8-9) His love is deeper than ours. His joy is more full than ours. And He’s able to bring beauty out of ashes. (Isaiah 61:3)

Choose to scream and rail and throw your hands in the air if you’d like.

Or choose to let your roots sink deeper…and let your fruit grow upwards.

 

 

Summer Reading List

June 14, 2012 / / 14 Comments

I love summers. For me, they feel much more relaxed than the frenetic pace of normal life.

image credit: Creation Swap user http://creationswap.com/tgitt

They offer time to slow down, plan, dream, and…read.

For me, reading over the summer involves more fiction reading. Since it’s a season of relaxing and dreaming, fiction gives me a chance to think outside of my normal box and think creatively.

Not to mention that I love getting lost in a good story.

With that said, here’s my list.

Fiction

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (Book 6), by JK Rowling
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (Book 7), by JK Rowling
The Hobbit, by JRR Tolkien
Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring, by JRR Tolkien
Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, by JRR Tolkien
Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, by JRR Tolkien
The Great Gatsby, by F Scott Fitzgerald
Great Expectations , by Charles Dickens

Non-Fiction

The Life You’ve Always Wanted: Spiritual Disciplines for Ordinary People, by John Ortberg
Mere Christianity, by CS Lewis
The Explicit Gospel, by Matt Chandler
Do the Work, by Steven Pressfield
What’s on your summer reading list?

 

 

5 Things Small Groups Do Well

June 13, 2012 / / 4 Comments

I’ve lived and served in small group life for nearly 5 years, on staff at Grace Community Church.

Small groups have become my heartbeat. Connecting people in biblical, authentic community has become the thing that gets me out of bed in the morning, and what keeps me up late at night.

photo credit: iStockPhoto user Digital Skillet

Over the past 5 years, I’ve seen lots of folks thrive in small groups…and many die on the vine. I’ve noticed that there are certain things that small groups can never be…and certain things that at which small groups excel.

Those qualities that a small group does well are summed in 1 Thessalonians 5:14:

And we urge you, brothers, warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone.

 5 Things that Small Groups Do Well

1. “Brothers” 

Small groups help people “belong.” This is absolutely essential in our walks with Christ. That we have brothers and sisters to whom we belong, and are connected with at a deep level. This is the foundation for the rest of the verse, and the foundation for living life in community.

2. “Warn those who are idle”

We’re not talking about an “idol.” The word here is “idle.” Speak truth and hope into the lives of people who are stuck. Who forget that living life as Jesus follower is one of action. One of serving and loving and giving and going. Some of us need to quit planning, and start doing.

3. “Encourage the timid”

Fear is a reality for us in many different seasons of life. It grips our hearts and keeps us in bondage. Which is why we need other people. We need others to encourage us when we need to take that step of faith. We need to know that others have our back when we might fail.

4. “Help the weak”

Oh, how often I’ve needed this. And how incredible a bond you form with someone when they help you in need. When small groups rally around people in their group, or others in their community, there’s a deeper level of relationship than is found in most other areas of life. Helping the weak is something that healthy groups do well, especially when we realize that we can use our pain to help others.

5. “Be patient with everyone”

We’re all at different points in our spiritual journeys. And at various points, each of us can be a difficult person. The way we treat each other reveals our theology. Whether we’re walking through a mess ourselves, helping others deal with a mess, or trying to figure out what God’s got next for us and we’re just fearful or resistant, we need others to be patient with us…and we need to learn to be patient with others. Just like God’s patient with us. And it’s impossible to practice patience on your own. Being that we’re all broken sinners…small groups give us a great chance to exercise patience with one another.

Notice one key component of all of these: they’re active. None of these can be accomplished while you’re passive. None can be accomplished if you just look at group life as a sponge. If you expect that following Jesus is about sitting around.

If you go expecting to sit and soak, you’ll dry up. If you go expecting to give deeply of yourself…expect to be filled.

Question:

Have you seen any of these fleshed out in group life? What else do small groups do well?

 

 

 

 

Quantity time, Quality Time, & a Clingy son

June 11, 2012 / / 4 Comments

Recently, I had a bit of traveling to do for work. Nearly 2 weeks worth, to be exact.

Confession: Though I see great value in getting out of your normal environment to dream, plan, and stretch, I hate being away from my family. I hate it.

My son is at the age where he definitely understands that I’m gone. But he doesn’t understand when I’ll be back. Every morning I was gone, he expected I was still going to be there to play with him.

"Show me your 'mean' face!"

Every night before he went to bed, he expected I’d be there to tuck him in.

My wife told him that I’d be home next Friday, but that meant nothing to him. Next Friday is just like tomorrow…or next year. He has no concept of time.

So when I returned home, he didn’t want me out of his sight. Everywhere I went, everything I did, every time took a sip of coffee, he was right by my side. He didn’t want to take the chance that I’d get on another plane without him. That I’d go somewhere and leave him back home. If I grabbed my keys, he heard them jangling together from across the house and came running.

It reminded me that in raising children, neglecting “quantity” time is a big deal. (I know that there are people that travel much more than I do, the demands of their job pulling them away. I interact lots with military families…I get it.) And when I neglect quality time, my son feels it.

Quality Not Guaranteed

You can’t avoid “quantity” time together and be guaranteed “quality” time.

Culture would lead us to believe that it’s the “quality” of your time with your family that is most important. That “quantity” time is a waste, and just isn’t feasible. With the demands of work, hobbies, church, etc., “quantity” family time is a thing of the past.

Truth: you can tell what you value by what fills up your calendar.

“Quality” time is found when you spend “quantity” time. In other words, “quality” time isn’t truly “quality” without a bit of “quantity” to go with it.

Oftentimes, I hear families say they focus more on the quality of their time together rather than the how much time they truly spend. Which is code, every time, for, “We’re too busy to spend much time together.”

Life takes on a different pace for most people through the summer months. A slower, more relaxed pace.

This summer, uncover quality through quantity.

Put your phone down. Don’t “Facebook” the moment. Instagram can wait. Instead of watching life unfold before you on your 3-inch LCD screen, watch it unfold in all its beauty.

Check voicemail later. Respond to emails after bedtime. Your Twitter feed can wait.

And take advantage of every moment.

Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your God with all your heart(K) and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. (Deuteronomy 6:4-7, emphasis mine)

 

 

The best way to love your enemies

June 5, 2012 / / 1 Comment

image credit: Creation Swap user Stephen Hay

My wife and I don’t watch a ton of reality TV.

But there are a few we catch each time around:

I find myself drawn in as personalities take shape, and characters are revealed. Within the first few weeks of a season, I’ve got “my” contestant. The one I want to see win it all.

I can usually nail who will win it, who will lose it, who the network’s keeping around for ratings, and who has no chops to hang with the big dogs.

I also find myself instantly being frustrated by certain people.

“Why could she say that?”

“Why would he treat ____ that way?”

“How could she be so callous with _____?”

In just a few weeks of watching a show, I can develop intense emotional responses to negative contestants. Not in a sinful way, but in a very real way. I know that being in an intensely stressful environment with other contestants in a competition brings out the worst in people, but goodness me…these guys can get downright nasty. And I can jump on the “Down with ____ bandwagon” as quickly as the next guy.

Maybe this is to my shame.

But you can’t tell me you don’t have that guy or that girl you don’t like either. Come on. Don’t lie. You’re rooting against them, too.

The Change

When I hear a snippet of people’s stories, though, my “I don’t like that person” goes out the window.

There was a contestant on one of the cooking reality TV shows that I was watching who was a cut-throat villain. I’m not saying that to exaggerate…she really was. She was mean. Sly. Cutting. And she took no prisoners. She was the person that everybody loved to hate.

But then I found out she’s a single mom, and loves her daughter like crazy. Much of what she does is to provide a living for her daughter. She broke down when she was telling her story about raising her daughter by herself.

And part of me broke with her. I understand a small slice of single parenthood because, living in a military town, I get to walk that road with families regularly. It’s tough. Tougher than one parent should ever have to shoulder alone. And it breaks the toughest of parents.

In watching this person’s story unfold before my eyes, I shifted from seeing her as the villain to seeing her as a fighter, battling for her family. Grinding it out so her daughter would understand hard work, success, making an impact on our culture. Stepping on toes so her daughter could stand on her shoulders.

Beyond TV

When you hear someone’s story, it humanizes them. Instead of just being the person who insulted you, their cutting words become a cry for help.

Instead of being your enemy, a person becomes a chance for you to extend love in a new way.

Instead of being a villain, your enemy presents a new opportunity to serve.

Instead of being a homeless man on the side of the road, they become a dad who’s been beaten up by life.

Instead of being a cut-throat business man, they become a man who’s never understood real love.

On hearing this, Jesus said to them, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” – Mark 2:17

When you react defensively, you ruin a chance for redemption. You spoil an opportunity to extend grace. You heap shame and condemnation and anger on someone who needs none of that.

Next time someone says something hateful, humanize them. Get to know their story. Understand their pain. Put yourself in their shoes.

I’m not saying that you should justify sinful behavior.

I am saying that it’s time to build relationships.

Let’s get to know people.

Especially your enemies. (Matthew 5:44)

Question:

Have you ever been shocked to be broken by someone else’s story?

 

 
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