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11 Encouragements Young Pastors Need to Hear

I’ve been a pastor on staff at a local church now for over 7 years. In that time, I’ve been the new guy. I’ve been the young guy. I’ve been the guy with dumb ideas. I’ve been the idea killer. I’ve been the guy that made stupid mistakes.

image credit: TheBibleQuotes.org

And I’ve learned a couple of things. Not everything. Not even close to everything. Every day I feel like I’m being bombarded with new ways of thinking, new ways of operating, and new ways of leading here at Long Hollow.

Along the way, I’ve had to remind myself of some truths. And I’ve had to hear words of correction from others. Neither of which is immediately joy-inducing, but each of which has propelled me forward in ministry.

11 Encouragements Young Pastors Need to Hear

1. You don’t know it all.

You’re not the savior of our church staff. You’re not “all we hoped for.” You don’t have all of the answers to all of the questions we’ve been wrestling with. And the answers we’ve landed on have been wrought with prayers, tears, and sweat.

Encouragement: Bring your ideas with humility.

2. Not every hill is worth dying on.

This is a hard one for me, because I can easily find myself making mountains out of molehills. There are ideas, principles, and dare I say…*theological stances* that are better left untouched and buried for the time being. Triage the most important aspects of your ministry, and fight for those. If you go to battle for every one of the ideas you birthed in the seminary classroom, you’ll breed a staff of people who can’t stand to be around you.

Encouragement: Let someone else die on the molehills. Don’t cash in your relational chips on things that don’t matter.

3. The way you love your family now is the way you’ll love them in 5 years.

If you struggle with spending too much time at work now…you will in 5 years, too. If you tend to bring your job your best…and your family your leftovers…that won’t change. You’re dredging out a trench that will grow more and more comfortable to plow through as the years go on. If you don’t like the way you’re loving your family, change now.

Encouragement: Problems, solutions, and emails can wait until tomorrow. Your wife and children can’t.

4. Not everything is urgent.

This is a mashup of #2 and #3, but it stands on its own feet. Email seems urgent. Phone calls seem urgent. Sunday morning seems urgent. But if you don’t carve out time to dream and plan for the future, you’ll look up and 3 years will have passed you by.

Encouragement: Make sure you’re thinking forward for your ministry. Don’t let the urgency of today drown out your dreams for tomorrow.

5. Not everyone will love your ideas.

Whether you’re a small groups pastor or not, all of your ideas won’t be instantly loved and adopted. That shouldn’t persuade you from remaining silent, though. Learn how to lead up, down, and across. Learn how to innovate and build a team. Learn how to lead people well and integrate your ideas into the life of your church’s culture.

Encouragement: Get a thicker skin, take criticism seriously, and lead people well.

6. You’re not God.

God doesn’t sleep. You need to.

God changes hearts. You don’t.

“There is a God, and it is not you.” – John Ortberg

Encouragement: “Reminding ourselves of the gospel is the most important daily habit we can establish.” – CJ Mahaney, The Cross Centered Life

7. Time with God isn’t easier because you’re a pastor.

Many people naively assume that pastors just sit around, read our Bibles all day, and sing Kumbaya. Let the record show: I’ve never sang Kumbaya in my office. Just because you’re a pastor doesn’t mean that carving out personal time with God happens easily. Emails, meetings, phone calls, tragedies, meetings, videos, and meetings happen naturally.

Encouragement: Don’t neglect personal worship.

8. Leadership will be more important than theology on a day-to-day basis.

Before you hang me out to dry, know that I’m a theologian. I love to dig in and wrestle through theology. I love a good theology book and a good lecture. But nobody cares what you believe about your thoughts on the authorship of the book of Hebrews when their marriage is falling apart. When life doesn’t make sense, nobody leads with, “Who are the Nephilim, really?” Are there potentially important things about the authorship of Hebrews that come to bear? Yep. But the way you lead your staff and congregation will be more important than what you believe about the Nephilim. Or about Calvinism.*

Encouragement: Get your hands on some good leadership books. Maxwell, Osborne, and Godin are all pretty good places to begin.

9. Seminary is good. But it won’t prepare you for much of ministry.

It’s easy to get comfortable in the ivory tower. But real ministry rarely happens there. It happens on the street-level. I learned lots there…but not everything.

Encouragement: Don’t let your seminary education get in the way of you loving people.

10. Investing in the next generation doesn’t come naturally.

Look at your role as preparing the next generation of leaders. Even if you’re 22 year old. Or 32. Or 62. The next generation needs you! Spend time investing in people by bringing them along with you when you are doing the work on ministry. Help them to know what you know, see what you see, lead how you lead, and love how you love. Then turn them loose to use their gifts and passions!

Encouragement: Bring people with you when you do ministry.

11. Build in individual accountability, because nobody will do that for you.

Spoiler alert: you’re going to be tempted to sin. Maybe even more so as a pastor. Satan would love nothing more than to destroy your marriage, your local church, and your ministry. Asking other people to speak in to your life on a consistent basis will help guard against this.

Encouragement: Surround yourself with people whom you can be open, honest, and transparent with.

*I think that these things are incredibly important. Especially Reformed theology. What you believe informs how you live, how you preach, and how you counsel. But it’s easy to become a “Calvin-ite,” a “John-Piper-ite,” or a “Mark Driscoll-ite,” making a bigger deal out of them (what they believe and how they operate in ministry) than out of the way you are to contextualize the Gospel for the people you are called to lead. Be careful in how you wield your theology.

What will your last words be?

November 30, 2012 / Ben Reed / 0 Comments

What will your last words be?

Will they be something eloquent? Or more like the last words of a redneck:

Hey y’all. Watch this!

Ever think about the legacy you’re going to leave? And whether your last words will be worth quoting…or worth forgetting?

It’s easy to focus on people’s last words. Looking throughout history, there have been a lot of people worth quoting on their deathbed, in their final hours.

It’s easy to get lulled into thinking that our last words are the most important of our lives. That what really matters is what we will say on our way to heaven.

I love the focus of this video, though, that our team at Longhollow put together.

A good life lived will be better heard than famous last words.

p.s. Jason Dyba is a creative genius.

Famous Last Words from Long Hollow Creative on Vimeo.

10 Things Nobody Told Me about Being a Small Groups Pastor

November 26, 2012 / Ben Reed / 12 Comments

image credit: CreationSwap user Tim Mossholder. Edits mine

I’ve been a small groups pastor now for more than 7 years. I’ve led at Grace Community Church, Long Hollow, and I’m now at Saddleback Church.

I love group life. I love recruiting, training, equipping, challenging, scheming, planning, dreaming, and writing. I believe that groups are the heartbeat of a local church, and one of the most beautiful expressions of the authentic Christian life.

But being a groups pastor isn’t all rainbows and butterflies. Or if that’s not your thing…it’s not all coffee and bagels. Turns out, this is hard work. but it’s hard work worth every ounce of sweat, every drop of creativity, and every inch of effort you can give.

I’ve had lots of folks tell me that they’d love to get in the small groups space. Some have been high school students ready to jump in to ministry. Others have been guys who are currently in a ministry that they don’t love. Each person has experienced life change through small groups, and would love to invest their lives making that happen. Here are some of the things I’ve told them as a “heads up” before they dabble their toe in the water.

10 Things Nobody Told me about Being a Small Groups Pastor

1. Not everybody will like you.

Especially when you tell them, “I don’t have a small group for you right now.” Or “No, we don’t have that kind of group.” Or, “I’m sorry that small group life is difficult.” Or, “Ouch…she said that in your small group?” because no perfect people are allowed. Or, “No, we won’t have a small group where you teach for 2 hours every week about the coming rapture…about the evils of smoking cigarettes…about how our society is going to Hell because we watch rated R movies…about how all single moms are dirty rotten sinners.” Small group pastors must have tough skin.

2. Small groups are messy.

If you enjoy coloring in the lines, and having everything neat, pretty, and always on schedule, find another ministry. Small groups are messy and difficult because people are messy and difficult. Small group pastors have to find the beauty in the mess. It’s there, like a diamond hidden among the rough. God’s at work right in the midst of the nastiest junk in people’s lives, and that junk comes out in small groups. Get ready for it.

3. Not all of the staff will be fully supportive.

I naively thought that every staff member would wholly embrace small groups with no explanation, no push-back, no confusion, and with arms wide open. Turns out they’ve got thoughts, questions, and legitimate concerns, too. This isn’t all bad, because it pushes you to answer some hard questions. Just a heads up. Knowing is half the battle, right?

4. Getting life change stories from small groups will be tough.

Mining stories is unbelievable valuable in shifting people’s hearts towards group life. Figuring out the best way to mine those is tough, though. And there’s no one “right” way to do it. Sometimes it’s best to shoot videos, other times to simply send out emails. Other times interviewing on stage is best. But capturing those stories is tough. Get ready for a challenge.

5. If you don’t do anything, nothing will happen.

Small groups ministry doesn’t run on a weekly cycle like student ministry (with Wednesday night programming), children’s ministry, or the worship team (with Sunday morning programming). So if you’re not a self-motivated, self-driven starter, you’ll languish. There are certain times every year where groups are launching, but in between those times, you’ve got to keep the wheels moving. If you don’t, things don’t naturally happen. Community doesn’t bubble up from the ground. Structures don’t naturally form. Schedules and timelines don’t magically happen. Know that if you don’t do anything in the down times, nobody else will.

6. You’d better be awesome at recruiting.

A big chunk of the role of the small groups pastor is in recruiting. Whether you’re recruiting a group leader, a coach, a potential hire, a current staff member, or a small group leadership board, the small groups pastor never gets a day off. Recruiting can and does happen anywhere, anytime. You’d better be good at it. Or learn to be.

7. You’ll have to constantly teach people what small groups are.

You may not be teaching from stage every week, but “teaching” is a key function of the groups pastor. No matter what your culture is, you’ll have to be teaching people the value of healthy community. Teaching people your process for assimilation, your process for discipleship, and your groups structure. You’ll teach new members, existing ones, staff members, and new recruits. Always be on your toes.

8. Small group coaches are vital.

The group leader that’s not coached will not be all he or she could be. And you, the groups pastor, can’t coach every leader. Unless, of course, you just have 1 or 2 other leaders. If you have more than 2 leaders, recruit a coach. They’ll help you invest time in leaders, give them a support structure, let them have a voice, and ensure they’re being encouraged, corrected, and cared for. Every small group structure has to involve coaches. Or assimilators. Or champions. Or directors. Or advocates. Or whatever you call them.

9. Get a team of supporters. Now.

Build a base of people who understand and support your vision. They don’t have to be small group leaders themselves, but they need to be strong leaders who buy what you’re selling. Vision leaks, and you want others leaking your vision across the landscape of your local church. Know who your friends are. And give them insider information.

10. This is the most fun job in the whole church.

It’s messy. It’s difficult. It’s frustrating. But at the end of the day, your role exists to help people find God’s beautiful gift of community. You get the chance to create environments where people are free to explore faith, and experience church in a transparently safe way. It’s an amazing ride.

Are you a small groups pastor? Know one?

What did I leave out?

27 things I’m thankful for

November 22, 2012 / Ben Reed / 2 Comments

image credit: CreationSwap user Rich Aguilar

This has been a tough year for us. Transitioning churches, cities, and completely overhauling our relationships has been a tough row to hoe. And we wouldn’t have made it but for the grace of God. We’ve found that God’s grace often comes packaged as friends. And occasionally coffee. 🙂

27 Things I’m Thankful for

1. God’s not done with me yet.

2. God’s grace is still for me, not just for everyone else.

3. My wife loves me, and still puts up with me. 🙂

4. My son’s an adventurer. I don’t have to teach him to live dangerously and take risks. I don’t have to push him be a boy. He does it naturally.

Rex & the crab

5. I’m in a healthy, growing, vibrant church that’s open to change.

6. My job is challenging. Nothing worse than being in a mundane job where you coast and aren’t needed.

7. Our house will be done soon. We’re living with my in-laws. It’s awesome, but I’m excited about our the project coming together. Here’s what we’ve got now:

our lot

8. My coffee station. It’s the little things, right?

my office coffee station

9. That I don’t have to put up with cats. But you already knew that. Again, the little things. 🙂

10. To be in a job that I enjoy.

11. To serve on staff with a leader that I enjoy. Thanks Derek.

12. The burgeoning small groups team. We’re small, but scrappy. 🙂 thanks Micha!

13. The staff that has supported us in great ways. Especially Nick and Parker. And Calvin and Erica. Oh yeah, and Eric. Tony. Cyndi. Jason. Nate. Bill. The Dybas. Rog. Angie. Jeff. J Lo. Jeff. LT. Robyn. Lynne. Shannon. Brian. Shane. The Lamberths. Amanda. Todd. Henry. Julie. Andrew. Heck, you can see them all here.

14. The work I get to do with Steve Gladen and the Small Group Network. It’s awesome.

15. Being in a job where my gifts are maximized and my heart and mind are challenged. I know I kind of said that already, but I’m super thankful. So it bears repeating.

16. The countless small group leaders that have made it a point to encourage me in this transition.

17. Our family, that we’re living with. They’re so gracious.

18. My family, who has been so supportive of the craziness that has been our life over the past few months.

19. Grace, with whom we spent 5 amazing years.

20. Chad & the rest of the staff team at Grace, that were incredibly gracious and supportive of us as we made the hardest move of our lives.

2!. Good friends like David and Tony and the Anthonys and the Wolfes that have come to see us in Hendersonville.

22. Guys in my life that mentor me from far off. Thanks Ron.

23. My buddies that helped me move. Thanks John, Tony, Brad, Brandon, and Byron.

24. Friends that have still stayed in touch, even though I’ve moved. Thanks Jesse, Michael, and Peter.

25. Chocolate chip pecan pie. With a piping hot cup of good coffee.

26. Our Clarksville realtor, who helped us sell our house in 3 days. Thanks Jackie.

27. Our Hendersonville realtor, who showed us that it’s possible to be patient with a young couple as they look through 50+listings…only to end up buliding something new. Thanks Jeff.

What are you thankful for? Anybody you can thank, and tag here?

Measuring what matters in small groups

November 21, 2012 / Ben Reed / 2 Comments

I attended the ReGroup conference at North Point this year. I decided to post some of the notes. To see all of them, click HERE.

Introduction

How do we know if our ministries are working? Is it stories or is it statistics? Yes. Stories and statistics are not mutually exclusive. The measurements that we track help us tell the story of our ministry…about what has happened, what is happening, or what will happen. They help us know if we are “winning.” Measurements matter, so we measure what matters.

I. Where stories and statistics intersect

A. “Story” people and “statistics” people

Stories engage the heart
Statistics engage the head.

B. As a church, we are both organism and organization.

Organism without organization is chaos
Organization without organism is lifeless

II. Involve the right people

A. Establishing measurements must be a collaborative effort.

B. Establishing measurements requires diverse perspectives.

Ministry involvement offers the perspective of ownership.
Manager involvement offers the perspective of oversight.

III. Leverage best practices

A. Tie to the strategic

Vision (life is better connected, which is why they measure “connection”), mission (to lead people into a growing relationship with Christ, which is why they send out a survey 2x/year to people in groups), and strategy (to create environments where people can grow, which is why they track the number of groups and the number of people in groups) must drive all measurements
For each area of the organization, measurements must be developed around a clear win and critical factors of success. They measure 4 things: group participation, leader apprentice (for future growth), leader retention, and leader training

B. Tips on the tactical

If you can’t or won’t change something, then don’t ask for feedback
When relevant, use rations 100% of the time. This makes it easy to compare over time.
Track over time to establish targets. You have got to have trends.
Don’t marry your metrics.

IV. Follow up the right way

A. We don’t make decisions based on measurements alone.

B. We do…

Open conversations. We believe the best, and don’t assume the worst.
Start explorations
Plan ahead…use numbers to look forward
Benchmark standards
Celebrate success. Don’t just focus on gaps.

Conclusion

The church is people and every one of them has a story. Our measurements must always be complemented with the stories of the people they represent. But stories, like numbers, can be manipulated. Therefore, it is not one or the other. We must walk the path between the ditches of the lifeless, organization-only mentality and the chaotic, organism-only approach. This is wise and skillful leadership; this is where sustainable growth is found. What you manage shows what you value.

Why I’m a small grouper for life

November 20, 2012 / Ben Reed / 2 Comments

I attended the ReGroup conference at North Point this year. I decided to post some of the notes. To see all of them, click HERE.

Andy Stanley taught in this main session.

Leading a group is the hardest and the best thing that a volunteer at North Point can do.

The only numerical goal that they’ve set as a church is groups. The goals you set focus the attention and affection and resources of your church. The goal was to connect 100,000 people in groups. Because of that, it’s impacted how they’ve budgeted and staffed. Groups is central to their entire congregation.

They say this often:

Life change happens in circles not rows.

Andy Stanley started a small group because he couldn’t attend Sunday school. And his first groups experience as a couple wasn’t a part of a program. It was just a need that he knew he could meet.

However,

There are no perfect groups. Because people are there.

They have a closed groups model, and their secret to adding and growing groups is Group Link. This year they’ve connected over 6500 people in groups. 50% were new to small group life.

I’m not a small group lifer because:

I’ve learned so much in small group.
I like to connect with new people.
I’m expected to participate.
I look forward to Monday night.

I am a lifer because:

Group provides a relational first step for disconnect new or non believers.
It’s an environment where Sandra and u can nub user together and use our complementary gifts.
I’m faced with a variety of faith journeys that never fail to build my faith
Our children witness firsthand the importance of community.
We believe life change happens within the context of relationships.

North Point says this often:

Everybody needs to be in a group and when you’re ready, you need to lead a group.

Why circles are better than rows

November 20, 2012 / Ben Reed / 3 Comments

I attended the ReGroup conference at North Point this year. I decided to post some of the notes. To see all of them, click HERE.

Andy Stanley kicked the conference off in his opening session.

He started off by saying

Your greatest investment in the local church may be in preparing the way for your child or grandchild. – Andy Stanley

He also dropped this jewel

The best thing you can do for your church is develop a groups strategy. – Andy Stanley

8 Lessons why Circles are Better than Rows

A groups model frees adults to serve on the weekend. Sunday school is a system that doesn’t allow everyone to experience groups. I you’re serving, you can’t ge in a group. Now they want people to worship for an hour and serve for an hour.

1. A groups model provides an opportunity for everyone to participate in a group…even the staff.

If you are really committed to spiritual formation, you’ve got to have a system that allows everybody to participate. Vision/selling point: we want everyone to grow spiritually. We want everybody to be in circles, not just rows.

2. A groups model provides the optimal environment for care.

Relational care is far superior to pastoral care. Te most difficult situations are the ones where people are not connected. If you have a pastoral care problem in your church, the answer is not that you need more staff. You need more groups. Groups also allow students to serve younger students.
A groups model is a growth engine for the weekend services. The problem with on campus groups is that you have to basically double the size of your campus.

3. Groups allows you to double your capacity.

It’s easier to invite people to one hour programming than 2+ hours. 1 hour programming allows you to use a smaller facility to reach more people.

4. A groups model is far less expensive than an on campus classroom model.

When you do small groups in homes, you never run out of parking or space. Paying for babysitters is much cheaper than building a building. Not spending money on a building also allows you to spend resources on hiring staff, not paying for a building.
5. A groups model is a growth engine for connecting people.

With on-campus groups, you often find yourself not wanting to build a building big enough to connect that many people. And they won’t come because you don’t have anything for them. And the cycle continues.

6. A groups model allows us to deliver message content and critical information beyond rows and into circles.

This gives the chance to give content that you can’t deliver on Sunday morning. North Point calls this the ‘insider edition’ and they put it online and on DVDs they give to groups.

7. A groups model is a catalyst for identifying, enlisting, and developing leaders.

In the classroom model, teachers surface quickly. In groups, leaders surface quickly, because every group needs a leader.* If you care for people, you care for people.

The true Church is never facility dependent. And neither is it preacher dependent. Small groups open up tremendous opportunities to lead people to Jesus.

*25% of North Point staff served as an adult group leader before being hired.

Unengaged, Unreached North Africa

November 19, 2012 / Ben Reed / 0 Comments

We sent a team, under the leadership of my friend Parker Manuel, recently, to North Africa to a completely unreached, unengaged people group. People who have never heard the Gospel before, and whom no evangelical has made it a priority to engage with Truth.

Our Long Hollow team shot and edited this video. It gets me fired up for what God’s doing in North Africa, and how He’s going to use our folks to engage the unengaged, unreached peoples there!

Enjoy the video…and get fired up with me!

Pray for North Africa from Long Hollow Creative on Vimeo.

Small Groups, My Insecurities, & 9 Ways to Respond to the Quiet Guy

November 15, 2012 / Ben Reed / 8 Comments

I was in a small group my junior and senior years of high school that was absolutely monumental in my spiritual journey. That group helped me more than years and years of sermons I heard. More than years and years of sitting under a Sunday school teacher. More than years and years of individual study.Even though I didn’t talk much.

You know why I didn’t talk much during group time?

I was afraid.

I was afraid that I’d say something and be wrong.

Afraid I’d misquote a Scripture.

Afraid I’d say something and be disproven.

Afraid I’d say something dumb.

image credit: Matt Gruber, Creation Swap, edits mine

There were a handful of times when I’d share something, only for someone to immediately respond with, “Well, why would you say this if ______ is true? What about the verse that says, “______.”

I’m sure that the guys saying these things weren’t trying to strike fear in me. Surely they weren’t intentionally trying to undercut every little step of faith I took to kick my fear in the teeth. They couldn’t be backhanding slamming my little serve across the net, like the guy that toys with you in ping pong, only to make you look silly with a flick of his wrist.

But every time I put myself out there, and they gave a quick retort, I retreated into my shell.

It’s a fear of man issue, I know. I’ve worked through it. I’ve dealt with my issues. I’m still dealing with them. I’m more and more comfortable being harshly corrected and chastised in a small group. My skin has toughened, and I’m more and more confident in who God has created me to be, rooting my identity in Christ. But here’s a word of wisdom to every small group leader:

Be careful how you respond to the quiet guy.

It’s easy to break people. Inadvertently, you squelch courage, winning the battle you didn’t even know existed. Winning the battle for the wrong team.

Instead of jumping all over the guy that says something you don’t agree with, let me offer a few responses you could give:

Helpful discussion engagers from a small group leader:

1. Hmm…that’s interesting. Can you explain that a little more?

2. Hmm…that’s interesting. Anybody else have a different take?

3. Thanks a ton for sharing that. We so value your perspective.

4. Good thought. Sounds like you’re pretty passionate about that. Where did you first hear that?

5. Thanks for that. I love the diversity of thought here.

6. Thanks for sharing. Let’s bounce that thought around the group.

~~7. But the Bible says, “_____,” so you’re wrong…~~ (trust me, even if the person stands in stark contrast with the Bible, this is never, ever the best response right out of the gate)

8. I’ve not heard that angle before. Help me understand where you’re coming from.

9. So, let me try to repeat what you said so we can all be sure to understand your point…

There is a time for correction. A time for pointing out the Truth, and letting people choose to fall into the arms of Truth or run from them. There is a time for brutally honest feedback. But that time isn’t from you, the group leader, the “expert,” right after that person shares. Please don’t stomp out courage. Don’t cut off safety. Don’t snuff out curiosity.

And don’t kick the quiet guy.

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits. – Proverbs 18:21

Category: Church (page 6 of 28)

11 Encouragements Young Pastors Need to Hear

11 Encouragements Young Pastors Need to Hear

1. You don’t know it all.

2. Not every hill is worth dying on.

3. The way you love your family now is the way you’ll love them in 5 years.

4. Not everything is urgent.

5. Not everyone will love your ideas.

6. You’re not God.

7. Time with God isn’t easier because you’re a pastor.

8. Leadership will be more important than theology on a day-to-day basis.

9. Seminary is good. But it won’t prepare you for much of ministry.

10. Investing in the next generation doesn’t come naturally.

11. Build in individual accountability, because nobody will do that for you.

What will your last words be?

10 Things Nobody Told Me about Being a Small Groups Pastor

10 Things Nobody Told me about Being a Small Groups Pastor

27 things I’m thankful for

27 Things I’m Thankful for

Measuring what matters in small groups

Introduction

I. Where stories and statistics intersect

II. Involve the right people

III. Leverage best practices

IV. Follow up the right way

Conclusion

Why I’m a small grouper for life

I’m not a small group lifer because:

I am a lifer because:

Why circles are better than rows

8 Lessons why Circles are Better than Rows

Unengaged, Unreached North Africa

Small Groups, My Insecurities, & 9 Ways to Respond to the Quiet Guy

Be careful how you respond to the quiet guy.

Helpful discussion engagers from a small group leader:

About Me

Let’s Connect

My Book

Starting Small: The Ultimate Small Group Blueprint