Author: Ben Reed (page 30 of 86)
Our small groups at Grace Community Church recently transitioned their discussion/study time from a curriculum to being based on, and driven by, the Sunday morning sermon.
I recently had the chance to sit down with my good friends, Brett Eastman and Steve Gladen, and talk through how we go about producing our curriculum every week, and a couple of reasons why we made the switch. Brett and Steve produce The Small Group Show, a series of videos designed to resource and encourage small groups pastors and leaders.
Here’s the interview I did with them.
Question:
Are you a part of a sermon-driven small group, or a curriculum-driven one?
image credit Creation Swap User Vicky Smit
There are some books that are so over the top that they break me.
For instance, I love Stuart Scott. He was one of my favorite professors in seminary. And his book
Likewise, when I read others’ posts about blogging, it breaks me. They say things like:
“On the days you don’t feel like writing, just write.”
OR
“On the days when you’re busy with other things, just write.”
Sometimes I wonder how these guys do it.
‘Hustle!’ they espouse.
‘Umm…I thought I was…’
‘Get up early to write…’ My 3 year old is up between 5:30 and 6:00. Every morning.
‘Stay up late…’ I have a 3 year old that gets up early. See above.
‘Work hard…’ I am. I have a family at home, a full-time job, and just opened a new store.
This line of thinking is so black-and-white, so difficult that it could break me if I let it. But the lure of it is the challenge, the chase, the adrenaline, and the product that ships.
At this point, I think I need a pass. A throw-in-the-towel, wave-the-white-flag pass for a moment. And I can only guess that if I need one, there are a handful of you out there that need one, too. Whether that’s a pass from your “slacking” on blogging, Facebook, Twitter, or any various other personal/public endeavors you’re chasing. I’m going to publicly give myself a pass. And I’m going to give you the same.
I get a pass
It’s been a busy month. My wife and I, with my and sister-in-law have opened a new store in downtown Clarksville. Our small groups team is in heavy recruiting mode for January. We’re also in heavy planning mode for a new system of leadership development we’ll be rolling out next year.
I have a 3 year old son who vies for my every moment when I’m at home. And 1 Timothy 3:5 haunts me. Not to mention that I love playing with him!
I also have an amazing wife I’m trying to be a good husband to, who’s been as busy and overwhelmed launching the new store as she’s ever been.
Note to self: it’s ok, Ben, that you don’t blog everyday. In fact, thank you very much Jon Acuff for the idea, it’s ok if you post your top 5 blog posts for 2011 during the last 5 days of 2011. Which is what I’m going to do.
I give you permission to slow down your blog, too. There are other, more important things in your life.
Feel free to pick it back up in January. And in the meantime, relax. Have a merry little Christmas. Or a merry big Christmas. Enjoy the time away.
* image credit: Creation Swap User Vicky Smit
image credit: Creation swap user Joe Cavasos, edits mine
We use the letter ‘x’ for a variety of things.
- It marks the spot on a treasure map.
- It stands for ‘kisses,’ as when you sign something XOXO
- It represents an unknown amount of something. As in something that costs $XX.XX
- It represents getting rid of something. I’m “X”-ing that out. Striking it from the record.
Used alone, ‘X’ often stands in place of something else. In other words, it “replaces” the real meaning that should be intended. It stands in place of something more important that, for whatever reason, you did not wish to display.
Replacing Christ with an X
Which can get a little hairy when it comes to Christmas, right? X-mas is seen by many as a way of, quite literally, removing Christ from Christmas. Replacing the King of the world with an “X.” I mean, at least it’s a capital letter when it’s done…but still, it seems a bit too easy to be rid of the most pivotal person in all of human history.
And, come on…nobody says, “Happy X Day” for Labor Day or “Happy Xter” for Easter or “X Luther King, Jr. Day” for Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. That would be weird. Except for Xter day…I kind of like how that sounds.
Greek to English
Before you get yourself in a tizzy over the X that people often use “in place of Christ” in Merry X-mas, I think it prudent to understand a bit about language. Here’s rule number 1:
Greek is different than English.
At least that’s what they taught me in seminary.
And it’s so pertinent in this situation.
English has basically transliterated the Greek word (which is the language of the New Testament) for Christ. The Greek word for the name of Jesus Christ is pronounced ‘yay-soos’ ‘cree-s-toss’. Spelled out, it looks like this: Ιησούς Χριστός.
Notice the first letter of the second word: ‘X’. “X” is the first Greek letter in the name of Jesus. And that ‘X’ isn’t actually an ‘X’ like it is in English. It’s actually a “Chi.” You may have seen/heard this in various fraternities/sororities (e.g., the sorority: Chi Omega).
Throughout history, ‘X’ has been a shorthand way of referring to Jesus because it’s the first letter of his name in Greek. In no way meant to be disrespectful or derogatory, ‘X’ has historically just been a way of referring to Jesus Christ.
‘X’ is not, and has not been, a replacement for Christ in Christmas. There are many ways to keep Christ out of Christmas…but unfortunately for those of you who like to hop on the “keep Christ in Christmas” bandwagon, this isn’t one of them. If you are looking for some proactive ways to “keep Christ in Christmas,” I’ve got some thoughts for you HERE.
So I’m starting a new campaign.
“Keep X in Christmas!”
I’m having buttons made as we speak.
Merry X-Mas!
*image credit: Creation swap user Joe Cavasos, edits mine
Stuck Between Stages
I find myself in a strange stage of life at this moment. In many ways, I can appeal to two very different groups: older leaders and younger leaders.
To younger leaders, I’m older. I’ve been in vocational ministry for nearly 6 years, have experience writing, teaching, leading teams, and consulting. I’ve been married for more than 7 years and have a 3 year old son. To “young” leaders, I’m old…ahem…experienced.
To older leaders, I’m still young. I’m not yet 30, still have a young child, have not run as many ministry laps as others, and still have a lot to learn. The “wet” behind my ears isn’t yet fully dried.
I find myself stuck between new leaders and old leaders. Which leaves me categorically nowhere. Thanks a lot, late-20s.
Living the Tension
For many of the decisions in my life right now, I live in this tension. I’ve been around long enough to stand on my own feet…but l have also been around long enough to know I don’t know everything. There are still days I feel in over my head. There are still days where I doubt myself. There are still days when I desperately need the sage advice that experience brings.
But I’ve been around long enough that people are looking at me for that same kind of advice. Which frightens me…and should frighten many others, too.
Many days, I wonder whether the next step forward is a good one…or is just a creepy man with a white wigbeard. Should I tell him what I want…or look at him, like my son did, with much trepidation?
photo credit: me
Allow me, out of this tension, to speak to you.
To older leaders:
We need you. Urge us to proceed with caution or to run full throttle. Prod us to start something new. Encourage us to quit doing what we’re doing. Tell us what you would do if you were our age. We crave your years of experience. We long to learn from your failures so we don’t replicate them. Help us to stand on your shoulders and see further than our own vantage point offers.
To younger leaders:
Seek wisdom. It’s out there for you. In books, podcasts, and blog posts. It’s available in other men and women, screaming to shed light on the dark and confusing areas of your life. Don’t try to navigate the fog on your own. Life’s too short, and you haven’t lived enough of it.
Out in the open wisdom calls aloud, she raises her voice in the public square; on top of the wall she cries out, at the city gate she makes her speech. (Proverbs 1:20-21)
Whatever stage in life you find yourself, you have a role. Lead upwards and downwards, sideways and backwards. The Kingdom needs you.
image credit: Creation Swap user Jamie Current
I’ve read a lot in 2011. And there are three books that rose to the top for me.
1. How to Win Friends and Influence People
, by Dale Carnegie
This is an old book, but it’s still unbelievably applicable today. Because relationships are still vital to whatever you do, whether that’s at work, home, or church. This book oozes practical wisdom.
2. Small Groups with Purpose: How to Create Healthy Communities
, by Steve Gladen (blog)
I know, it’s niche. But it’s good. If you’re overseeing small groups, this book is gold for you. Steve has laid out the method that Saddleback Church has pioneered in launching thousands of small groups. And he’s broken it down where churches who are much smaller can learn from the principles that Saddleback has used.
3. Sticky Teams
, by Larry Osborne
Our staff read through this book together and it was so, so good. Osborne packs this book full of the wisdom he’s learned in leading his teams of staff members at North Coast Church. If you’re a team leader, or plan on being one, especially in the church, this is a must-read.
Question:
Have you read a must-read this year?
* image credit: Creation Swap user Jamie Current
Do people really want to leave Christ out of Christmas?
I don’t think so. Because if we did, we’d be left with just ‘mas.’ Which can’t work.
- We wish you a merry mas.
- All I want for mas is my two front teeth.
- We’d invite people to our mas Eve service.
- We’d watch National Lampoon’s mas Vacation.
Nobody wants that. Not even pagans. Because we all know that whether you’re a pagan or a Christian, you watch National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation at some point during this season.
With the myriad of distractions flying at us through the media, shopping, office parties, and traveling, we need reminders to keep Christ in Christmas, right? You’ve seen them on buttons, t-shirts-billboards, and yard signs.
CHRISTmas reminders
- Jesus is the reason for the season.
- Keep CHRIST in CHRISTmas.
- No Christ. No Christmas. Know Christ. Know Christmas.
- Christmas is about Jesus from long ago, not Santa trudging through the snow.
Maybe I made that last one up. But I’m not convinced that these types of reminders work. I also think that when you make it a personal mission to tell everyone you see, “Merry CHRISTmas” (over-dramatizing the “Christ” part), you don’t necessarily help your cause.
In fact, that’s offensive to many people.
“Shouldn’t that make us, the Church, upset?” you say. “It is our holiday, after all, right?” This holiday should be all about Jesus, so we should expect that everyone, even those who don’t follow Jesus, to honor him as Savior and Lord during the Christmas season, right? Oh wait…never mind…forcing someone to recite something they don’t believe isn’t necessarily helpful. Expecting that they’ll honor Jesus during December even though they don’t believe He is King may not be the best way.
Can I offer a better way?
Better CHRISTmas reminders
Maybe a better way to keep Christ in Christmas is to show people love. Even people that don’t deserve it.
Maybe a better way to keep Christ in Christmas is to pursue peace with people because God, through Jesus, has pursued peace with us.
Maybe a better way to keep Christ in Christmas is to live joyfully in the midst of difficulty. Because we have a Savior who endured our suffering.
Maybe a better way to keep Christ in Christmas is to live generously. Because we serve a King who has given us salvation.
Maybe a better way to keep Christ in Christmas is to live our lives as if the God of the world sent his Son to call us His own.
But maybe I’m wrong.
Maybe we should just keep wearing our buttons.
credit: iStock Photo user TommL
*The creative process is beautiful and frustrating and exhilarating and exhausting. Yet far too often, we put out a poor product. One we’re not even proud of. One that doesn’t inspire further creativity, but de-spires it. (kind of like when you create a new word, like “de-spire”)
I look back to work I did a few years back and I think, “How did I ever send that?” It’s not that it’s full of mistakes. It’s that it’s just not that good. I wasn’t being lazy or haphazard with my work. I just knew something was missing and that I could get better.
The Gaps
I noticed gaps between what I was producing and what I wanted to produce. Gaps between “good” art and “lousy” art. I knew what I was aiming for, and I was hitting as close to the target as I knew how. I recognized the gaps, be it ever so slightly, then but now looking back, those gaps are like chasms.
Closing the Gap
That process continues today. I feel like I’m getting closer and closer to the target, but I still miss. I can describe to you what a beautiful, finished piece of work should look like, but for some reason, my finished work falls short.
With every project, I’m getting a little bit better. One day, I know I’ll look back on my current works and wonder, “How did I ever send that?” But for now, I trust that the daily grind and evaluation is producing an increasingly better and more beautiful work.
So I’ll keep producing the best art with the most care that I know how.
This video from Ira Glass is a great take on the creative process.
(HT: Z)
* I realize that this post is a bit outside of the normal scope of this blog. Thanks for hanging with me, though. This is what’s on my mind right now.
** photo credit: iStock Photo user TommL
image credit: creation swap user Matt Gruber
Lots of small groups take the Christmas season off. And that’s fine.
But if you’re one of the groups that really loves Jesus, you’re not taking the season off. You’re soldiering through like the little drummer boy who could. Massive traveling, family celebrating, and time off of work won’t slow you and your group down!
If you’re one of the groups that’s meeting throughout the month of December, you may be wondering what you can do that’s a little outside of the norm. I’ve got some suggestions.
15 Christmas Ideas for your Small Group
Fellowship:
Don’t feel bad about wanting to have fun together as a group this Christmas season. Having fun together is very biblical.
-
Go caroling. - White elephant gift exchange. See explanation HERE.
- Ornament exchange.
- Pot luck with your favorite Christmas dish.
- “Favorite book” exchange.
- Celebrate with a gift exchange mid-January. That way, you can get gifts on sale, and extend the celebration of the birth of Jesus. Jesus would probably have loved a good sale. Am I right?!?
Serving
- Email your pastor for families in need, and serve them food and gifts.
- Contact your local public school system and tell them you’d like to sponsor ___ families with food and gifts this Christmas. Ask them to connect you with the families.
- Contact your local Salvation Army and sign up to ring the bell.
- Write letters to soldiers who are deployed, if you live in a military town.
- Bless your pastor. Examples: a gift card to Amazon, a night away for him and his wife, or a gift card to a nice local restaurant.
Worship/study
- The Purpose of Christmas book
and/or study guide
, by Rick Warren
- Christmas Reboot, by Alan Danielson
- Advent Conspiracy
, by Rick McKinley
- Study through the sermons your pastor preaches this Christmas season
- Study Luke 2. Try using the Serendipity Bible
to help.
Is your small group meeting for the Christmas season?
* image credit: creation swap user Matt Gruber
We’re prone to thinking we have the toughest life, the most stressful schedule. That nobody understands how much we have to deal with. That nobody is as busy as we are.
photo credit: creation swap user Sharolyn Newington
Nobody gets us.
Nobody really understands.
And we can’t really imagine how life could get busier for you.
And if you think this is just as adults, you’re wrong.
Life in College
When I was in college, I remember feeling incredibly busy. I averaged 21 hours of classes each semester. I also played on the golf team. Most days, I’d go to class from 8-2, then play golf until it was dark. Then I’d either go to my room to study, go to the local collegiate ministry house, or both. I was busy. I felt like life couldn’t get any crazier. I needed others to speak into my life and say, “My life is crazier, and God is still sustaining. I’ll walk with you.“ The reality was that life would get much busier and more difficult.
Life in Grad School
The same pattern happened in graduate school. I took a full load of classes and I worked at least one job throughout my time there. I was also married. I’d go to class most days from 8-12, then work from 3-midnight. After that, my wife and I would often head out to the store. Sometimes it was for grocery shopping, other times it was just to get out of the house. Because she was also in grad school and working. Different from college, now I was carrying more weight personally, and felt the burden my wife was experiencing too…that’s just how married life works. We carry each other’s burdens. I needed others to speak into my life and say, “My life is crazier, and God is still sustaining. I’ll walk with you.“ The reality was that life would get much busier and more difficult.
Life after Grad School
The same pattern happened post-graduate school. I’m now working full time, working on side projects, opening a small business, maintaing my house, leading a small group, and raising a son. And I thought that life was busy in college! Life has never been busier. Now, more than ever, I’ve needed others to speak into my life and say, “My life is crazier, and God is still sustaining. I’ll walk with you.“ The reality, based on the pattern I’ve seen, is that life will get much busier and more difficult. It’s not going to slow down.
Our need for community
We need other people in our lives. We need people who remind us that this stage in life will be over. People that remind us that the next stage is full of awesomeness. People that have been where we are, and can honestly tell us that they love us and that it’s going to be okay.
My life is crazier, and God is still sustaining. I’ll walk with you.
We desperately need community.
Question:
Do you feel like you’re busy right now?
* photo credit: creation swap user Sharolyn Newington
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Starting Small: The Ultimate Small Group Blueprint
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