I find myself in a strange stage of life at this moment. In many ways, I can appeal to two very different groups: older leaders and younger leaders.

To younger leaders, I’m older. I’ve been in vocational ministry for nearly 6 years, have experience writing, teaching, leading teams, and consulting. I’ve been married for more than 7 years and have a 3 year old son. To “young” leaders, I’m old…ahem…experienced.

To older leaders, I’m still young. I’m not yet 30, still have a young child, have not run as many ministry laps as others, and still have a lot to learn. The “wet” behind my ears isn’t yet fully dried.

I find myself stuck between new leaders and old leaders. Which leaves me categorically nowhere. Thanks a lot, late-20s.

Living the Tension

For many of the decisions in my life right now, I live in this tension. I’ve been around long enough to stand on my own feet…but l have also been around long enough to know I don’t know everything. There are still days I feel in over my head. There are still days where I doubt myself. There are still days when I desperately need the sage advice that experience brings.

But I’ve been around long enough that people are looking at me for that same kind of advice. Which frightens me…and should frighten many others, too.

Many days, I wonder whether the next step forward is a good one…or is just a creepy man with a white wigbeard. Should I tell him what I want…or look at him, like my son did, with much trepidation?

photo credit: me

Allow me, out of this tension, to speak to you.

To older leaders:

We need you. Urge us to proceed with caution or to run full throttle. Prod us to start something new. Encourage us to quit doing what we’re doing. Tell us what you would do if you were our age. We crave your years of experience. We long to learn from your failures so we don’t replicate them. Help us to stand on your shoulders and see further than our own vantage point offers.

To younger leaders:

Seek wisdom. It’s out there for you. In books, podcasts, and blog posts. It’s available in other men and women, screaming to shed light on the dark and confusing areas of your life. Don’t try to navigate the fog on your own. Life’s too short, and you haven’t lived enough of it.

Out in the open wisdom calls aloud, she raises her voice in the public square; on top of the wall she cries out, at the city gate she makes her speech. (Proverbs 1:20-21)

Whatever stage in life you find yourself, you have a role. Lead upwards and downwards, sideways and backwards. The Kingdom needs you.

Wisdom for leaders young and old is a post from: Life and Theology

 

Photo Credit: Back Drop Express

My son asked me to go outside and play football with him yesterday. Mind you, he’s 3. So football for him looks a lot safer for me now than it will in a few years.

We were throwing the ball back and forth, and he was loving every minute of it. I’d throw it as high as I could, and he’d watch it come crashing down to the ground and bounce strange directions. He’d mimic me and watch it bounce again.

He’d say, “Daddy…watch me!” And I’d watch him throw the ball up in the air and hear him squeal with delight that he did it.

Of course, when he would, I’d go nuts, making a big deal and encouraging him that he threw the ball.

Then one time, unintentionally, I didn’t encourage him. I didn’t tell him he did a good job. I watched him throw the ball, then walked over to pick it up and continue the cycle.

It’s not that he didn’t do a good job…I just didn’t tell him that he did.

And he asked me a question that caused me to stop mid-stride:

Dat cool, daddy?

He wanted to know if he was still doing it right. He wanted validation from someone who knew the ropes, and knew what a “good throw” was supposed to look and feel like. He wanted to hear from his dad that I thought what he was doing was cool.

Don’t we all have a bit of that longing inside of us?

We all want to be validated by someone who knows the ropes. By someone who’s been in our shoes and walked where we’re going. Who can shed a little light on our paths to make the journey a little more navigable.

Older leaders: we need your encouragement. We need your ‘atta-boy!’ We need your wisdom and insight. We need your gut-level response to our gut-level response.

Don’t give up on us. We need you.

But encourage one another daily, as long as it is called Today, so that none of you may be hardened by sin’s deceitfulness. – Hebrews 3:13

*Photo credit: BackDrop Express

Dat cool, Daddy? is a post from: Life and Theology

 

If you’d like to catch up on this series of 11-word posts, click HERE.

Say less, listen more

Saying more is much easier than saying less.  Start by listening.

Say less, listen more, 11s on the 1s is a post from: Life and Theology

 

A word for young pastors is a post from: Life and Theology

 

My son has figured out how to manipulate.  Funny…I don’t remember teaching him that.

And funny how that sticks, and so many other things that I teach him don’t stick.

His recent move is learning how to hide.  He’ll get something that he knows he’s not supposed to have (for instance, his pacifier, which is only a nap-time thing).  Just the other day, he was sneaking through the kitchen, slowly and quietly behind the big chair in our living room.  I could see his feet.  And his head as he was “sneaking” just a little too far.  I said, “Rex?  What are you doing?”  …No response…  ”Rex, do you have your pacifier?”  Still no response.  He froze.

So I got up to “find” him.  When I saw what I knew he had, I asked him to go and put it away.  So he did.  Kind of.

He walked around the corner of the kitchen towards his room, and stopped.  I suppose he didn’t realize that I can hear his feet when he walks on the floor.  And I knew that he had stopped well short of his room.  Turns out I had to walk him by the hand into his room to be certain that he did what I asked him to do.

But it’s not just my son that’s good at hiding.  Even we, adults, are good at it, aren’t we?  In fact, our forefather, Adam, invented the game.  After he and Eve had eaten the fruit that God had told them not to eat, they hid.  First with leaves (Genesis 3:7).  Then among the trees.

But the Lord God called to the man and said to him, “Where are you?”  And he [Adam] said, ‘I heard the sound of you in the garden, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself.’”

As God questioned them about what they’d done, both Adam and Eve proceeded to shift the blame away from themselves, trying to further manipulate and deceive the all-knowing, all-seeing, God.

Rex, my son, had nothing to fear.  Nothing as far as my relationship with him was concerned.  There were consequences he had to face because he had disobeyed me.  But his relationship with me was unchanged.  He’s safe with me.

And we’re safe with God.  We can be open and honest, and trust that He’ll never leave or forsake us.

But it’s often not God that we’re concerned with, is it?  It’s other people.  We’re afraid that we’ll be rejected, laughed at, ridiculed, and scorned.  Afraid that we’ll lose our influence and our status.  Afraid of being known.  Hiding our true selves from others is rooted in a fear of man.  Which is an incredibly dangerous place to stand.

Be open and honest with God.  He knows your heart anyway.

Then work on being open and honest with your friends.  God’s placed them in your life on purpose.  They’re meant to help you carry the burdens and the secrets you’re struggling to carry on your own.

Quit hiding is a post from: Life and Theology

 

I love the “Save Draft” button that I have access to for my blog. Often, in fact, for 99% of my blogs I’ll write a first draft, then save it. I’ll come back to it later on that day, or the next. Maybe even a week later.

Then I’ll save it again.

It helps me to look over it again and catch some mistakes. Refine my thought. Make sure I said what I meant to say.  Make sure what I said is constructive, and not destructive.

I wonder how it would work if we had the opportunity to click the “save draft” button in “real life.” Instead of just spouting off whatever came into our head, what if we stopped and waited?  Swallowed our pride?  Prayed?  Asked God to season our words with salt (Colossians 4:6)?

Something tells me that it might work pretty well.

After all, “Do you see a man who speaks in haste?  There is more hope for a fool than for him.” (Proverbs 29:20)

Save Draft, Click Here is a post from: Life and Theology