10 Things I Guarantee You’ll Never Say

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10 Things I Guarantee You’ll Never Say

benlreed — January 15, 2013 — 13 Comments

I have said a lot of stupid things in my life. Many of which I’ve said right here on this blog. Things that have gotten me in hot water, cold water, and dry with no water.

I’ve been thinking a lot recently about the trajectory of my life, how I’m spending my time, and where I want to point. As I’ve thought back over the years, there are things I realize I’ve never said that have significantly shaped who I am. God’s changed me through generosity, community, laughter, my son, my church(es), and my own leadership journey.

Sometimes what’s not said is more important than what is said. And there are things you’ll never say, either.

I’m not a gambling man, but I’d put good money on the line that you’ll never say any of these things. And if you find yourself saying them, stop it.

10 things you’ll never say

I wish I hadn’t been so generous.

Nobody regrets being generous. Even when your generosity isn’t well received, isn’t thanked, or isn’t noticed, the act of generosity changes you as much as it changes others.

Truth: You’ll never regret generosity.

Life would’ve been better if I hadn’t joined that small group.

You will have less “free” time in your life, more heartache, more burdens to bear, more mess to wade through, and more people to pray for. Life will be tougher. But you won’t regret joining a small group, because you’ll have people to journey through life with.

Truth: You’ll never regret investing in people’s lives.

My best friends? They’re the ones I never laugh with.

Get off the boring train, and start recognizing that laughter is a gift from God. You’ll grow more spiritually with a group of people that you enjoy being around than ones you dread meeting with.

Truth: If you don’t enjoy being around you, neither will others.

I wish I had spent less time with my kids.

And your kids will never say they wish that you’d spent less time with them, either.

Truth: Time with your kids is not time wasted.

I love to drink mediocre coffee.

No you don’t. Nobody does. Which is why when I have people over to my house, I serve the best stuff that I’ve got. Or I go get my hands on the best stuff I can find. All coffee is not created equal.

Truth: 1 cup of my coffee just might change your life.

I wish I had been less regular at church.

Your church isn’t perfect. Neither is mine. But being where God’s people gather to worship and celebrate the work of God is healing and life-giving.

Truth: Getting plugged into a local church will change the trajectory of your life.

“Leadership” doesn’t really have any relevance in my life.

No matter where you find yourself, leadership is playing a significant role. Sometimes it’s affecting you positively. Other times, negatively. Sometimes by its presence. Other times by its absence.

Truth: Focusing on your own leadership development isn’t a waste of time.

My life is much more lovely because of my cat.

Nope. It’s not.

Truth: I hate cats. So do you.

I wish I had not gone on that mission trip.

I wrote about it here, but my life was shifted when I traveled to Costa Rica. Others’ lives were shifted because I was sick for part of the week, too. Whether you go on a trip out of your country or across state lines, you won’t regret the time away from work or the money it cost you to get there.

Truth: Going on a mission trip will mess you up in the best way possible.

Children’s ministry? That’s a waste of time.

If you say this, expect to not be a pastor very long. Or expect your church numbers to dwindle quickly.

Truth: When you invest in children, you are investing in the life of the Church. For today and tomorrow.

Anything you’d add?

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In Church, Leadership bible, cats, children, Church, coffee, friends, generosity, laugh, Leadership, mission trip, missions, Parenting, small group

A Christ-centered Christmas children’s book

benlreed — December 19, 2012 — Leave a comment

Our creative director, Jason Dyba, wrote this book. He read it during our Christmas services at Long Hollow. It’s phenomenal.

Read along with it. Then pick up a copy (see below the video for easy, free instructions) for your family to read this Christmas. I did.

Laura, Rex, and I will be reading it together this year.

Herbie and the Manger from Long Hollow Creative on Vimeo.

To download your copy

The Print-It-Yourself version – download and print at home (recommended: tell your printer to print two-sided pages)
The iBook version – for Apple iPad, iPod, and iPhone
The eReader version – for Kindles and other eReaders
The video version – download, sit back, and enjoy! (you may need to right-click the link and choose to save the file)

You can also to order a physical copy to be delivered to your home!

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In Church, Theology children, christmas, family book, family devotion, jesus, manger

The anti-narcissistic medicine of community

benlreed — December 1, 2011 — 3 Comments

We’re prone to thinking we have the toughest life, the most stressful schedule. That nobody understands how much we have to deal with. That nobody is as busy as we are.

photo credit: creation swap user Sharolyn Newington

Nobody gets us.

Nobody really understands.

And we can’t really imagine how life could get busier for you.

And if you think this is just as adults, you’re wrong.

Life in College

When I was in college, I remember feeling incredibly busy. I averaged 21 hours of classes each semester. I also played on the golf team. Most days, I’d go to class from 8-2, then play golf until it was dark. Then I’d either go to my room to study, go to the local collegiate ministry house, or both. I was busy. I felt like life couldn’t get any crazier. I needed others to speak into my life and say, “My life is crazier, and God is still sustaining. I’ll walk with you.“ The reality was that life would get much busier and more difficult.

Life in Grad School

The same pattern happened in graduate school. I took a full load of classes and I worked at least one job throughout my time there. I was also married. I’d go to class most days from 8-12, then work from 3-midnight. After that, my wife and I would often head out to the store. Sometimes it was for grocery shopping, other times it was just to get out of the house. Because she was also in grad school and working. Different from college, now I was carrying more weight personally, and felt the burden my wife was experiencing too…that’s just how married life works. We carry each other’s burdens. I needed others to speak into my life and say, “My life is crazier, and God is still sustaining. I’ll walk with you.“ The reality was that life would get much busier and more difficult.

Life after Grad School

The same pattern happened post-graduate school. I’m now working full time, working on side projects, opening a small business, maintaing my house, leading a small group, and raising a son. And I thought that life was busy in college! Life has never been busier. Now, more than ever, I’ve needed others to speak into my life and say, “My life is crazier, and God is still sustaining. I’ll walk with you.“ The reality, based on the pattern I’ve seen, is that life will get much busier and more difficult. It’s not going to slow down.

Our need for community

We need other people in our lives. We need people who remind us that this stage in life will be over. People that remind us that the next stage is full of awesomeness. People that have been where we are, and can honestly tell us that they love us and that it’s going to be okay.

My life is crazier, and God is still sustaining. I’ll walk with you.

We desperately need community.

Question:

Do you feel like you’re busy right now?

* photo credit: creation swap user Sharolyn Newington

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In Uncategorized busy, children, college, family, graduate school, life, schedule, small business

Roughhousing with my son

benlreed — June 16, 2011 — 2 Comments

I roughhouse with my son. Often.

I tickle. Toss in the air. Wrestle. ”Fly.” Give piggy-back rides. Jump, roll, run, and flip.

My interaction with my son is more rough, tough, and “dangerous” than my wife’s interaction with our son.

That doesn’t make me a better dad than my wife is a mom. It also doesn’t mean that, for my wife to be a good wife, she needs to try to do what I do and roughhouse with our son. Moms and Dads have unique roles to play, each contributing to the maturing and preparation of children to become men (and women) who honor God.

I enjoy roughhousing with my son, and I know how important that will be to his development into manhood. I know it was important for me, growing up with my dad. We would wrestle, play, and do “dangerous” stuff with him. And I know for certain that he played a pivotal, key role in helping me understand God-honoring masculinity. I’m thankful for him every day.

It’s cool when you see something on TV that gives credence to what you already do. On NBC’s Today Show, they interviewed Anthony DeBenedet about his book, The Art of Roughhousing. Check out the clip below.

They’re learning about the tricks and trades of the world, and how difficult the world can be, but they’re doing it in a protected and safe environment with someone they respect, that they love, and that love them. And that’s important.

Did you roughhouse with your dad?

Do you roughhouse with your kids? Does that look any different for boys than girls?

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In Uncategorized anthony debenedet, children, fathers, grow, mature, play, roughhouse

Purple Carrots

benlreed — November 9, 2009 — Leave a comment

I’m reading the book Think Orange, by Reggie Joiner, and find much of it fresh and challenging. I thought I’d share this with you. I love what Reggie has to say in this quote (taken from page 136). It’s kind of long, but worth the 3o seconds it will take you to read it. Just trust me.

“Up until the sixteenth century, carrots were grown in a variety of hues: red, black, yellow, purple, and even white. There were no orange carrots until the seventeenth century when some Dutch growers began feeling patriotic. In honor of their king, William of Orange, they married some yellow and red carrots to produce our modern day orange carrots.

I imagine there must have been some orange-carrot skeptics in the beginning. They were probably overheard saying things like, “These can’t be true carrots,” or “Carrots aren’t supposed to look like that,” or “Those are not the kind of carrots my parents ate.” Nevertheless, the color of carrots changed forever. But here’s an important point: Changing the color of carrots did not alter the fundamental nature of the carrot. In other words, orange carrots were just as nutritious as black carrots. The only real difference between the two was that more people were willing to eat orange carrots than black ones.

If you knew more kids and students would engage in what you teach if you packaged it differently, would you? Would you color it orange if more kids would listen? Before you start using phrases like “watering down the truth” or “not deep enough,” just remember you can change the color of something without compromising its nature. It doesn’t mean you weaken your message just because you focus on what your audience needs.

The principle is clear; If you want more people to eat carrots, then change the color. If you want more students to listen to what is true, change how you present it.”

What do you think? Can we change the way we present the Truth (or the way that we “do church,”) without altering the Biblical message?

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In Church carrots, children, family ministry, reggie joiner, students, think orange, truth

Life and Theology

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