Good leaders listen well. They don’t merely anticipate.

I was at the bank yesterday, and as I left I said to the teller, “Bye, see you later!” To which she replied, “I hope you have a good day, too!”

She anticipated because she had heard the same thing from every customer that day. She thought she heard, “Have a good day!” She should have listened more carefully.

Not a big deal, because the response that my bank teller makes to me on the way out doesn’t make or break my day, but it does point out an important principle.

Listen before you answer.

Listen before you answer…

• When you’re talking with your spouse and you feel like you already know what they’re going to say
• When you’re in a hurry and you wish the person would just hurry up
• When you’re the small group leader and you’re “expected to have the right answer”
• When someone is going to ask your advice
• When someone is not going to ask your advice, they’re just sharing their story
• When you’re talking with an “extra grace required” person
• When you’ll be expected to give a response and you’re not sure what you’re going to say.

The temptation is to move ahead and prepare what your response will be. That way, you’ll appear smart and on top of things.

But you’re better off listening fully before processing your answer.

Those who are sharing their heart with you will feel honored and respected knowing you truly care about them.

And when they throw you a curve ball, like I did my bank teller, you’ll be ready.

He who answers before listening — that is his folly and his shame. – Proverbs 18:13

Question:

Have you ever tried to anticipate what someone was going to say, and gotten it wrong?

Have you ever had a conversation with someone when they appeared absent?

*photo credit, iStock Photo user: Fabervisum