Laura’s (my wife) Grandpa has lots of “Grandpa-isms.” You know…things that only Grandpa would say.

Things that he has said tens of thousands of times. Things that he has said so many times that, when he begins to say them everybody around him can finish his sentence.

Things like, in speaking of children picking up toys,

If he sees it, he’s got to touch it, if he touches it, he’s got to tote it. To tote something means to take it with you.

Or

When I grew up in Memphis, I would eat anything. I was never finicky. If you’re finicky you will starve to death!

Or

Children…they’re the most precious thing you’ve got.

If he saw a piece of paper on the floor, he would repeatedly point to the paper, then to the trash, saying,

Paper…trash…paper…trash…(repeat 10 times).

When somebody would fall down, he’d say,

You gotta hold on with those prehensile hands.

All male under 5 are greeted with

Hey hardrock!

Finally

There are 4 P’s that I do for my family: provide, procreate, protect…and make memories.”

I know…there are only three P’s…that’s ok, we just don’t point that out to him. If you hear these once, you hear them 10,000 times…and I’m not kidding. When he starts with just one part of one of these phrases, the rest of the family can finish them for him. He says them exactly the same way every single time.

Part of his repeating things like this is just his personality. The family sometimes jokes about this, but in a loving way. They love him, and respect the way that he has led his family and loved his wife. And there’s a great lesson we can learn from this.

Find your own “isms”

You know that people have truly caught the vision of your ministry or organization when they can repeat it to others. It’s so important to have these defining sayings, goals, and values. These values need to be repeated until you’re tired of hearing them.

Are there any “isms” define you and your ministry? What idea is repeated so often that your area of leadership becomes it? What characteristic, or action, or vision, needs to be repeated until people can finish your sentences when you begin to talk?

How can you instill in others the values that you are aiming for? What opportunities do you have to repeat your core values, even to the point where people begin to roll their eyes because they know exactly where you’re headed?

If you don’t yet have anything that is so engrained into you and those you influence that it has become your DNA, what would you like for your “isms” to be?

Here’s a video of Grandpa I put together. Everything he says here would also be included in his “Grandpa-isms,” and our family can attest to that.

 

One year ago today, I shared with the GCC staff that my wife and I were pregnant with our first child. I remember this exact day because it was April Fool’s day, and there were some who thought I was playing a mean joke on them. Well, turns out I wasn’t. Now, one year later, I have a 5 month old son, Rex, of whom I am incredibly proud. This last year has been unbelievable, experiencing 8 months of pregnancy with my wife (well, I can’t take much credit for that, but thought I’d throw that in there), paying hospitals and doctors SO much money, going through the stressful event of my son 4 weeks before his due date, then having to have surgery before he was 3 months old, finding out what it means to be a parent and not get more than 3 hours of sleep per night for months on end, experiencing joy like nothing else at coming home and having my son smile at me, and falling in love with my wife all over again as I see her growing into a God-honoring mother.

I can’t wait to see what the future holds for our family. I’m confident, though, that if we continue to fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and founder of our faith, God will work all things for our good (Hebrews 12:2, Romans 8:28-29). My prayer is that our marriage and parenting might point others to the life-transforming power and love of the Gospel.

Rex cheering for the greatest college, UT!

Rex and his friend, Story Vaden, hanging out

 

I delivered a talk (what are you supposed to call something like that when it’s not a sermon?) to a group of pastors the other day on the value of small groups.  I wanted to give them a snapshot of what we do at Grace Community Church, and introduce them to the world of small groups (they all come from churches who have on-campus Sunday School as their form of small groups).  It was not my goal to convince them all that they needed to abandon their way of doing groups, but to challenge them to think strategically about their system, and whether it was accomplishing what they were wanting it to accomplish.  Whether you’re in a Sunday School environment, a small group/home group culture, or a mixture of the two, here are three things your church needs to be doing:

1.  Cast the vision.  Seek to answer the questions, “Why do we need each other?” and “Why are we deficient without small groups?”  Use any of the 38 one-another passages found in Scripture (e.g., 2 Corinthians 1:3-4, Ephesians 4:1-3, James 5:16) to point out the fact that we need each other.  Sunday morning, large gathering services alone are not enough for your spiritual growth.  This vision must be cast from the pastor on stage on Sundays.  The vision must be cast repeatedly, with the pastor sharing both theologically and practically (the pastor himself must be involved in a small group, so that he can share what God is doing in his own heart, and how God is changing the hearts of those in his small group as well) the value of small groups.

2.  Recruit leaders.  How do you count a person as qualified?  Instead of looking at spiritual position, I look at spiritual velocity.  I also don’t lock myself into looking for the gift of teaching.  I’m not asking small group leaders to teach, in the way we traditionally understand teaching.  I’m asking someone to facilitate, lead, shepherd.  That frees me up to recruit tons of more well-qualified people to be small group leaders.  I look for spiritual maturity in the way Jesus defined it in Matthew 22:36-40, as an increasing love for God and others.

3. Define your church’s win.  If a win for you is increasing numbers, don’t be discouraged if disciples aren’t produced.  If you count it a win to see giving increased, don’t scrap your system if numbers decrease.  Know what your win is, define it clearly, and be ready to use that as your measuring tool.  I count it a win when a person takes a step towards becoming a more faithful disciple, and that looks different for every person.  For some, it looks like committing to attend church regularly.  For others, it may look like forgiving their spouse.  For another, it may look like pursuing reconciliation with their mother.  God rejoices in small steps in the right direction, and so should we.

What is your church doing to make small groups a place of dynamic spiritual growth?  If they’re not doing any of the above, maybe it’s time to start.

 

I feel a bit like a hippy, now that my wife and I have switched over to cloth diapers. For a few reasons, we decided to make the shift, and it’s honestly been a pretty good one. I saw this clip on Saturday Night Live, and immediately was grateful that we only made the switch to cloth. If you’re eating lunch right now, do yourself a favor and put it to the side. Trust me.

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Who is your hero?  Do you have a person you look to who has displayed courage in the face of danger, and after whom you can emulate your life?  What is it about that person that is hero-worthy?  What have they done, or are they doing, that causes you and others to take notice?  If you don’t have a hero, find one.  Is there someone in your sphere of influence that you can and should be learning from and following?  If not, then who, throughout your life (maybe even looking into the past), can look to?

Once you find one, be one.  Be a person who lives a life worthy to be repeated.  Paul says it like this, “As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.” (Ephesians 4:1)  Live a life that looks like the God of the universe has saved you.  Live your life in such a way that others cannot help but say, “Wow, that guy’s different, and I want to be like him.”  What does this “different” life look like?  Does it look like a monastic society, removing oneself from the “comforts of the world” in favor of living in communities that are separate from the rest of society?  Does it mean listening to only Christian music and watching only Christian movies?  Does it look like never smoking or drinking, going to a Christian school, wearing Christian t-shirts, drinking Christian water, and being known more for what you are against rather than what you are for?  Let me offer you a different perspective, one that I think Paul (who said, “Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice.” (Philippians 4:9)) would agree with, primarily because he wrote it.  Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.  Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to one hope when you were called— one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all,” (Ephesians 4:2-5) and “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (Philippians 4:8).  This, by no stretch of the imagination or search of Biblical texts, exhausts what it means to be a follower of Christ.  It does, however, paint a picture of what a “hero” of the faith looks like.  Need more examples?  Check out Hebrews 11, where you’ll find tons of heros of the faith.

Are you becoming a hero?

If you need another example of a hero, watch this video of a “true” hero.  Laughter is a good thing.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gn8EQ0azXpQ&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0]

 

I just had lunch with a guy in our small groups ministry, and we talked about the importance of accountability.  We talked about the fact that we all need to have those people in our lives who know everything about us, and are not afraid to ask us difficult, awkward, yet ultimately Christ-honoring, sin-defeating questions.  We need those people who know all of our junk, yet love us still the same.  They don’t love our junk, but they love the chance to help point out the sinful habits and blind spots that we have, and those things (whether good or bad) that ensnare us.  They’re not satisfied with letting us continue in our sin because they “know that he (Jesus) appeared so that he might take away our sins. And in him is no sin. No one who lives in him keeps on sinning. No one who continues to sin has either seen him or known him.” (1 John 3:5-6).  We are sinful creatures, and our sin loses its power when it’s confessed, and brought into the light.

How do you make sure you’re held accountable?  Are you accountable to anyone other than God?  Are you accountable to anyone other than your spouse?

How can you, as a group leader, help those in your group be accountable to each other?

1. Foster an environment of authenticity and vulnerability.  Be real with your struggles, failings, and sinful tendencies.  You’re not perfect, and your group members know that.  When you mess up, confess it!

2. Divide your group based on gender for times of prayer.  I don’t like to air out my dirty laundry in front of another man’s wife, and I’m sure that you feel similarly.  Guys can be more openly honest when it’s just guys in the room.  We understand each other better, know how we think and operate, and often know how to minister to each other and hold each other accountable better than you do.  The same holds true for girls.

3.  If you’re the leader, meet with group members (who share the same gender with you) outside of the normal group meeting.  These times are great for building relationship, and opening up with areas of your lives that are not as easy to bring up in a larger group setting.

4.  Choose curriculum, and ask questions in the group, that cover a wide variety of Scriptures and topics.  You won’t know what areas people in your group struggle with until you ask.

5.  Encourage group members to find somebody that can hold them accountable.  It can be another person in the group, or a believer outside of the group, but it does not have to be you, the leader.  Your role as the leader is to encourage others to put themselves into relationships full of confession, love, and vulnerability.

Accountability, just like spiritual growth, doesn’t just happen.  You have to desire it, and you have to seek it.  Accountability is crucial to your growth in Christlikeness.  How much do you care about your growth?

 

Like I said in the last post, I fully believe in our system of creating followers of Christ. However, I would be ready to throw it out today if the system were the problem.  I never want to be so connected to community groups, and the way that we do them at Grace Community Church, that I am unwilling to abandon them in favor of true discipleship.  My goal in ministry, in a broad stroke, is to “go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you.” (Matthew 28:19-20)  My goal is not to start 5,000 community groups and train 10,000 leaders to host a group in their home.  I want to make passionate disciples of Christ!  Right now, the way that I do that is to start new community groups, shepherd our current community group leaders, and recruit new leaders.  Though these activities may seem mundane, I believe that true growth in godliness happens best in the context of community.  So, I willfully and joyfully take on the administrative burden and the difficulties that go along with assimilating people into group life at Grace.

Why are we not making disciples more quickly at Grace?  There are a variety of reason.  Here are five:

1.  Not everybody who hears the Gospel becomes a disciple the first time they hear it.  I know that I sure didn’t!  Did you?  Then why should I expect vastly different results from those in our community groups?  God didn’t give up on me when I rejected His call.  Instead, He continue to pursue me.

2. The devil is real!  “Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” (1 Peter 5:8)  Satan loves to distort the Gospel, remind us that it’s not relevant to us today, and snatch it from our hearts before it has the chance to take root.  In short, he’s vying for the worship of our hearts, and this is true whether the Truth is coming from the pulpit or from a couch in somebody’s living room in a small group setting.

3.  I need to take it upon myself to apply the Gospel to my life every day.  CJ Mahaney, in The Cross Centered Life, says it well,”If there’s anything in life we should be passionate about, it’s the gospel. And I don’t mean passionate only about sharing it with others; I mean passionate in thinking about the gospel, reflecting upon it, rejoicing in it, allowing it to color the way we look at the world and all of life” (15).

4.  Our group leaders need to take it upon themselves to ask difficult questions that drive their group back to the Gospel.  “How are you living out the Gospel today?  How are you more like Christ today than you were 12 months ago?  What part does the Gospel play in your everyday life?  What is the Gospel?  Why did Jesus have to die?  How is the truth that you are a sinner saved by grace affecting the way you parent your children, or love your spouse, or work at your job, or serve in your church?”

5.  Group leaders need to be reminded that they are the shepherd leaders of their group, and as such, should concern themselves greatly with the eternal state of the souls in their group.

Based on that, here are 5 things I resolve to do:

1.  I will not give up on people.

2.  I will create an atmosphere of openness and vulnerability in our groups.  It is only when group leaders, and group members, are open and honest about their struggles, that the more reluctant folks will feel the freedom to open up their lives, and the struggles they are facing.

3.  I will apply the Gospel to my life every day.  I need to preach to myself, reminding myself that I am a sinner saved by grace, that Christ died to free me from my sin, and that Satan wants to destroy the Gospel in my life.

4.  I will develop Gospel questions to put into group leaders hands that help them have intentional, Gospel-focused  discussions that are laid back enough that everybody feels comfortable asking even the most “simple” questions (though these tend to turn out to be some of the most profound questions).

5.  I will pray for all of my group leaders, that they will shepherd their group in a way that honors God and holds high the banner of the Gospel.

Are your groups structured so that basic Gospel questions and concerns can be brought to the table?  Or are you so laid back that the Gospel is never discussed?  Or are you so “holy” that you jump to “deeper” questions (as if there is anything more life-changing and “deeper” than the Gospel!)   Are you group leaders ready and willing to ask these questions?

Do you or your group leaders make the mistake of assuming that, just because a person is attending your church and frequents your small groups, he or she is saved?  How are you giving your group members the freedom to explore faith?

How are you living out the Gospel today?

 

I’ve been in my current ministry position now for a little over a year. Our church is structured around a three-fold strategy of creating followers of Christ: Gather, Commit, and Serve:

As we GATHER to celebrate Jesus and encounter biblical principles, COMMIT to one another in community groups, and SERVE by using the gifts God has given us to invest in the lives of others, we will grow in our passion for God, our compassion for God’s people, and our effectiveness in God’s work of developing growing followers.

That’s our system, and my role in the system is to facilitate, oversee, and help to develop community groups. I completely believe in our system, the simplicity of it (and the simplicity of what it means to be a be a follower of Christ), and am committed to it wholeheartedly. However, I’m always evaluating it, and specifically, the role of community groups in creating authentic community that fosters growth in godliness.

About two months ago, I was counseling a young man who had lots of questions about his next step in life. Basically, his question was, “What do I do next?” He needed help in thinking through future career options, future spouse options, financial next-steps, etc. He thought that his problem was that he struggled with change, and was afraid to take big steps. Over the course of only a few weeks, we determined that his problem was much greater. The next big step that he needed to take, the one that would determine the course of his life forever, was to become a follower of Christ. I told him that this decision would not necessarily make his life ‘easier.’ It would also not lay out in detail his exact next step. However, he would be resting his future in the hands of the One who created the universe (Genesis 1), who holds all things together (Colossians 1:17), and whose hand cannot be stayed (Daniel 4:35). So, this young man decided to place his faith in Christ!

That’s great news, right? I should be rejoicing, right?

I am, but I’m also saddened.

This man has been in one of our community groups for over a year. He has sat in a group every week, and still was troubled by the question, “What is the gospel?” This man is very intelligent, and can easily comprehend difficult, abstract concepts, but still had the question, “Why did Jesus have to die?” and “What does it mean to repent?” He didn’t know why we needed a sacrifice for our sins, and that Christ had offered himself as our perfect lamb.

If he was just a semi-regular Sunday morning attender, I could feel okay about this. But he’s there every single week, and is one of the most faithful members of his small group.

This bothers me. How could someone be plugged into what I thought was a disciple-producing ministry here at GCC and still have these questions? Let me reiterate that it was not for a lack of intellectual comprehension that this man did not know. He had simply not been asked the fundamental questions of the gospel and had the chance to interact with the Truth.

Is this an isolated issue, or pervasive? Is it a problem with the curriculum that we’re using? Is it a problem with the way that I communicate with my leaders? Is it our system? Is it a leadership training issue? Is it something that needs to be communicated more from the stage?

I realize that this post leaves me quite vulnerable as the leader of the small groups here at our church. But I want to be honest and say that this bothers me. I want to make sure that each of our group leaders is having gospel-centered discussions, both within the weekly group meeting and outside of it. So right now, I’m working through some ideas to ensure, as much as is humanly possible, that difficult questions are being asked, fundamental gospel concepts are being discussed and applied to life, and that those who attend our community groups have the chance to chew on and digest the great, life-changing truths of the gospel.

Is the goal of your ‘system’ discipleship? If not, what is the goal of your ‘system’? Is that goal being met? If it’s not being met, how willing are you to scrap the ‘system’ in favor of the goal?

Next post, I’ll fill you in on what I think the problem is. I actually think I may have nailed the issue. We’ll see.

 

In my line of work, I see much value in networking. I have, despite heavy criticism at times, continued to use Twitter, in addition to Facebook, blogging, lunches and coffee meetings, to network with others. Do you see any value to networking? I wholeheartedly believe that there is. Here are 8 reasons that I think that it is worthwhile. I’ve tried to leave most of them vague enough so that if you don’t work in the church world, like I do, you can apply them in your sphere of influence, because networking is valuable in almost any leadership field.

8 Reasons Networking is Valuable:

1. I don’t have a corner on the market of ideas. In fact, I’m more of a task-oriented person than a guy full of grand ideas. I know that other people in other organizations have lots of ideas, and I benefit in hearing them. Of course, I have to do the work of processing them in our context.

2. Going outside of my organization gives a different, outside-of-the-box (Literally…our office looks like a box.) look. I work out of one office building, in one city, for one church. If I’m not careful, all of my ideas will revolve around one box. It’s helpful to get ideas from outsiders, those who don’t live and breathe the same air that I do.

3. I learn from others who do what I do, only better. I don’t claim to be the most talented, gifted leader. I want to continue to learn from those who perform better than I do.

4. Networking helps me move our organization to where we need to be. In looking at our structure, I see things that need to be improved, but often I’m not sure what our next step should be. In meeting with other leaders, I see that they’ve arrived at many of the places that I’d like for us to arrive, accomplishing moves and advancements that I would like for us to make. Seeing how they got there help my thought process.

5. I can learn from the mistakes of others. If I can have a heads up on ideas and practices that have failed, I can sidestep those failures. When I can sidestep a failure, it’s as if I take two steps in the right direction.

6. We can accomplish more in working together than in working separately. I can strive with all of my might to help grow the kingdom, but my efforts are multiplied when I collaborate with others. I have certain giftings and passions. I thank God for them, but I know that I am not gifted in every way, and don’t have passions in everything. The Church is the body of believers globally. I am not the Church unto myself.

7. Others help me to evaluate my system. Often, I make it a point to lay out our whole church strategy, making sure to show where my area of ministry fits within the system, to those I meet with, so that they can help me evaluate our system. It helps to think through why we do what we do, and to see how that sounds to someone outside of the organization. Maybe, because I’ve worked so long in our system, there are holes I haven’t noticed.

8. I’m encouraged when I hear of the Lord’s work in other churches and in other cities. It’s helpful when I’m reminded that the Lord’s not only at work in my little bubble of Clarksville, TN.

Do you make it a discipline to network with others?

 

I want to thank you for all of the prayers you prayed for my son, who had surgery a couple of weeks ago.  It went very well, and he’s recovering nicely.  In fact, he does not even react as if the surgery site is painful now.  We’re so thankful for the outpouring of love and support from you all.

Sending my son in for surgery was one of the toughest things I’ve had to do.  The worst part was when they wheeled him out to the operating room, and we saw him round the corner away from us.  Let me tell you, that was a tough moment.  Part of the reason it was so tough was because it’s my son, and I love him, and I hate to see him hurting.  But the other, and more significant reason that it was so difficult, I believe, was that it was out of my control.  Surgery is beyond my level of expertise, and I had nothing to do with the procedure in the surgery room.  It was completely beyond me.  When things are beyond us, out of our control, we can move in one of two directions: worry or trust.

Worry says that I don’t really trust that God is in control.  Because God is not fully in control, and He’s not going to give this the time, effort, love, and thought that the gravity of this situation deserves, I in my sufficient wisdom will fret, sweat, and unhealthily concern myself with that which I cannot control.  God cannot be in control, because if He were, He would have led me to this situation.  Worry, at its heart, reflects a lack of trust.

Trust, on the other hand, says that though this is a difficult situation, and I don’t know what the outcome will be, God is in control.  As He has been faithful in the past, so will He be faithful now.  God is good, and His love endures forever (1 Chronicles 16:34).  The one who trusts sleeps peacefully in the knowledge that God is the one who provides true safety (Psalm 4:8).  Trust, at its heart, reflects a true belief.

I’d like to say that I never once worried throughout this whole process, but I can’t honestly say that.  However, I can say that difficult situations tend to bring heart issues out.  When difficult times come, use that as a time to evaluate your heart.  Will you worry?  Or will you flee to God?