Spence Shelton led a breakout, making the case for multi-generational small group, at the RightNow Conference 2010.  Spence is the small groups pastor at The Summit Church in Raleigh-Durham, NC.

Spence started out asking a question:

Who have been the most influential people in your life?

It’s probably some people who were in previous generations…some in your current generation…and some that are in generations younger than you.

Spence recommends Joseph Hellerman’s book, When the Church Was a Family.

The American culture is filled with consumers.  And since the culture is filled with that, our churches are filled with that mindset, too.

Here’s the line of thought that Spence runs with at The Summit:

Come as you are, but we’re not going to leave you there.

Making the church accessible to non-Christians is great, where we’ve created various environments for people at different ages, stages, and spiritual maturity levels.  And the problem is that these environments that were supposed to be front-door ministries became silos.  They became environments where you could “get your church, your way, right away.”  The idea here is that “you come as you are and stay as you are.”

This is a problem when you read Scripture.

3 Principles of the Biblical World that the Church was birthed into, in 1st century AD

1. In the Biblical world, the group took priority over the individual.  The individual felt responsible to the group for decisions.  It was a group-first mentality.  It was a strong-group culture.  We now live in a weak-group (individual-driven) society.
2. A person’s most important group was a person’s blood-family.
3. A closest family bond was a sibling bond, not the marriage bond.

We currently live in a weak group/strong individual culture now.  So when Paul calls people his “brother,” it carried much more weight than it does today.

The changing of the family

• In Deuteronomy 6, God gives His great command to the family.  He encourages parents to teach the law of the Lord to your children, in such a way that (though it takes a long time) it becomes permanent.
• In the Jewish culture, even the surrounding community helped to shape the hearts and minds of children.
• This makes Jesus’ statement that his mother and brothers weren’t his family, he’s reinstituting the idea of what a family is.  Instead of just flesh and blood, “family” is now those who are united in Christ.
• Galatians 3:26-27 – in Christ, all are one.
• Titus 2:1-8 – older men are called to be wise, and invest in younger men.  This is again a reinterpretation of what “family” is.

If our primary environment for growth, and our idea of “family” is based on the New Testament examples above, and we have single-generational groups, we’re not giving an accurate picture of the family.  Rather, if we have multi-generational groups, offering those as our environment for spiritual growth, we can give an accurate, New Testament picture of healthy spiritual family.

Objections to multi-generational groups

• Friendship is best built around common interest.
• I don’t have anything helpful to offer to another generation.  I don’t have all of the answers that the younger generation is going to ask.  Rebuttal: if you’re further along in life, you have something to offer the younger generation.
• Am I going to be the only one like me in the group?  There’s great value in being around people not just like you.  Though it does work best when there’s one other person like you.

*This concept of multi-generational groups applies to all areas of diversity, including racial and socio-economic.

Moving from life-stage silos to multi-generational

• It starts with you, believing in this and stepping out and doing it.
• Remember that your people are consumers.  This concept doesn’t work that really well in a short conversation at the small groups table.  The Summit holds multi-generational groups up as an ideal, but doesn’t force it with everybody.  He works this DNA into small group leaders, and encourages them to begin to look like the family of God.

Q&A

What do you do when you want to transition to multi-generational but your lead pastor isn’t convinced that this is the way to go?

• Ask your lead pastor to participate in a multi-generational group with you.  Convince them through experience.

If you have an older and a younger generation, how do we begin moving them closer together?

• Identify a couple of leaders (including yourself), who aren’t just like you (age/stage in life), and ask them to do small groups like this.

What are some studies/books that can help with that?

• Why Small Groups, CJ Mahaney
• Hellerman’s book (listed above)

Is it a detriment that people are talking about issues that others in the group aren’t dealing with?

• Spence has heard people say that it’s refreshing to see what marriage is like from a married couple, instead of just in a sermon or a book.
• Don’t allow your conversation in your small group to just be about yourselves and your situation.

Who is the leader, the younger people or the older people?

• Either

What do you do about childcare?

• We reimburse childcare costs

What do you do about teens?

• Some are brought into the adult small group experience, it’s going well.  But Spence isn’t ready to make a rule that teens of certain ages should go into small groups.
• No children in the small group.

 

Check out this promo video from Max Lucado:

Are you going to the RightNow Conference?

If so, I look forward to seeing you there!

 

When I go to conferences, I have a few things that are essential for me as I attend.

1. iPhone – I will take most of my notes on this.  I use Evernote, which syncs with my computer automatically.  That way, I can take notes, and have them stored, not having to worry about transferring them from my phone.  And to keep everybody updated in real time, I use Hootsuite.

2. Backpack - With all of the S.W.A.G. (stuff we all get) at conferences, I don’t want to carry them in my hands.  And a shoulder bag is just too cumbersome to navigate the crowds.  A backpack is a must.

3. Laptop – I enjoy processing my thoughts out loud…which means that, to blog, I’ve got to have my computer.

4. Moleskine – Batteries don’t last forever.  And sometimes, electronic devices open up too slowly.  Enter the good ole fashioned pen and paper.  And I’ve found nothing better than a Moleskine.

5. The Sharpie Pen – Gotta have something to write with.

What are your conference essentials?

 

As summer is winding to a close, I thought I’d share with you one of my major finds.

Some of you may have been on this bandwagon for a long time…and now I see why.  I honestly can’t believe that I’ve lived on this earth for 28 years and never tasted the goodness of Nutella.  And what makes it better?

Ice cream.

Nutella + ice cream = AMAZING

I can’t even tell you how many bowls of homemade Nutella ice cream I ate this summer.  I already can’t wait until next summer (because, let’s be honest…homemade ice cream just isn’t right outside of the summer months, is it?)!

Have you discovered a new snack this summer?

What is your favorite summer snack?

 

Just a few weeks ago, while my wife and I were stuck in London, I was able to visit the city of Oxford.  The main reason we went was for a tour of the various sights associated with C.S. Lewis.  We were able to understand more fully the life of Lewis after seeing the places where he lived and worked.

The highlight of the tour for me was “the lake.”  Behind the house where Lewis lived was a forest, and in the forest was a lake (really, it was more of a pond) where Lewis would spend hours, alone, thinking and writing.  It’s said to be the place where he had the inspiration for his infamous Chronicles of Narnia.  And being there, I quickly understood how inspiration could come by spending extended time there behind Lewis’ house.

It was a beautiful spot.  There was a walking path circling the lake.  There were lots of old trees.  And dense shrubs.  We were there in the spring, so many plants were beginning to bloom.  All around, you heard the sounds of nature: bugs, birds, wind, and creaking trees.  Yet there was this sense of quiet and rest that was present, too.  No cars.  No rustling of people.  No distractions.

And I was reminded that we serve a beautiful, creative God.

Spending time outside, away from my normal environment of four walls, a door, and a computer, helps get my creative juices flowing.

What helps you when you need to think creatively?

 

I have found great benefit in social media.  I’ve written about social networking HERE.  Primarily, I use Twitter (you can follow me HERE) and Facebook (you can follow me HERE) when it comes to sharing short bits of information.  Right now, though I find great benefit in both, I much prefer Twitter to Facebook.  Why?

5 Reasons I prefer Twitter over Facebook:

1. It’s quicker. Facebook takes a lot of time.  When you read a status update, especially one that you like, you feel the need to read all of the comments.  Then you find a friend that you haven’t talked to in a while, and you click on their page.  And find a status update…and the cycle continues.  Facebook can quickly become a never-ending pit of time-wasting.

2. It’s more information-driven. I’m a “learner” (according to Strengths Finder), so I love gathering information.  Twitter is a great tool to share news and ideas quickly and efficiently (especially because it’s limited to 140 characters).

3. There’s no Farmville. Or Mobster.  Or Cafe World.  Or Treasure Isle.  I just can’t get myself excited about that stuff.

4. There’s no poking. I’ve been poked by somebody.  Seriously.  I just looked at my Facebook page.  And I have no idea what that means, why they poked me, or what I should do in return.

5. With Twitter, you can reach well beyond your circle of friends. On Facebook, for us to interact, you have to accept my friend request before I can see anything that you’ve shared.  Facebook seems to me to be designed for you to interact with people that you personally know.  Twitter is built for interaction with a broader audience.

What about you?  Do you prefer Twitter or Facebook?

 

Before my wife and I got married, we received premarital counseling from our pastor.  Though it saved us a bit of money off of our marriage license, the real value that we received was in being a little more prepared for the challenges we would face as a newly married couple.  I can’t even begin to tell you how valuable that time was for our marriage.  We drew back heavily on those meetings with our pastor as we were trying to create and sustain a godly marriage.

Many couples start their married life with no premarital counseling/training.  But you don’t have to.

That’s why I wanted to tell you about the Covenant Marriage event we’re helping to put on at Grace.  At this event, designed for engaged couples or ones married less than 2 years, we’re going to help equip you with the essentials for having a healthy marriage.  Over the course of 3 sessions, Kent Hughes will help you prepare for a lifelong marriage that honors God.

Your marriage is too important to not work on it right out of the gate.

The event happens on Friday evening, August 27th, and ends on Saturday, August 28th, by lunch.  It’s free.  You can sign up HERE.

 

I’m currently reading Salvation on Sand Mountain: Snake Handling and Redemption in Southern Appalachia by Dennis Covington.

Before you’re too quick to write off snake handling, read this passage in Mark:

He [Jesus] said to them, “Go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation. Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned. And these signs will accompany those who believe: In my name they will drive out demons; they will speak in new tongues; they will pick up snakes with their hands; and when they drink deadly poison, it will not hurt them at all; they will place their hands on sick people, and they will get well.” (Mark 16:15-18)

What are your thoughts on snake handling?  Is it really an expression of a closeness with the Holy Spirit, an unwavering commitment to the Great Commission, and a sign of the presence of Christ in a person’s life?

The way you answer that question says a lot about your hermeneutic.

Leave a comment below and I’ll send you a free, highly poisonous rattlesnake.

 

Dad,

I can’t get away from your reputation.  Everywhere I go.  Everyone I talk to.  Every event I attend.  Everybody knows Pete.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard, “Is Pete your daddy?”  Or have been introduced as, “Hey, you know Pete Reed, right?  This is his son…”  Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I look a little bit like you.  Or maybe it has something to do with the fact that you’ve left a huge impression on so many people.

No matter where I go, your reputation precedes me.

And Dad, you may not know it, but you’ve made my life much easier.

Your exemplary life at home and in the community causes others to look at me differently.

Thanks for always being a great Dad.