I rode bikes a fair amount in college.

I was into mountain biking for a while, but going to school in West Tennessee, the flattest part of the state, doesn’t afford many mountains.  So I traded the mountain bike in for a road bike.  I rode some with my roommate, but also a lot by myself.  I would tell people, “I love just getting out there and riding by myself.”  I must not have liked it that much, because after college I gave up biking.

In the last couple of months, I’ve picked it back up. I ride three times/week.  Twice it’s a shorter sprint, and once/week is a long ride.  I’m loving it!  And I’m sticking with it.  Why?

I experience community when I ride my bike.

You see, I don’t ride alone.  I ride with three guys from my community group, one of their sons, and my uncle.  Somehow, in riding 30 miles with people, life happens.  Significant conversations happen.  The distractions of normal life are stripped away, and riding through the country opens up the heart.  I’ve built great relationships with these guys, and I look forward to our rides together.

Biking alone is ok, but I

• get tired more quickly
• don’t have the motivation to keep going
• don’t have the motivation to get up early and push myself
• get bored
• go shorter distances
• quit earlier than I intended.

When I bike with the guys, I am encouraged to get up early, to keep riding, to push myself even harder, and to finish the ride.

That’s what authentic, God-honoring community does.

And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.  -1 Thessalonians 5:14

 

Whether you like golf or not, Phil Mickelson is a likable kind of guy.  I love how he’s willing to take the risky shot from behind a tree that everybody else would be afraid to take.  He’s not scared to fire a 4-iron at a pin that’s tucked into the back corner of a green guarded by bunkers and water.  Instead of playing it safe, he’ll flop a wedge from a buried lie in the trap to a pin position that’s running away from him on a green that is slicker than putting in your bathtub.  Though it is that same “grip it and rip it” attitude that costs him championship titles, you’ve got to love his win-at-all-costs attitude.

What I also respect about Phil is his devotion to his family off of the course.  I remember the 1999 US Open.  His wife, Amy, was pregnant and was due any day.  He was fighting for the lead (and this would be his first Major win, so this tournament was really important to him) with Payne Stewart, but the tournament wasn’t of first importance.  Of first importance was his wife and soon-to-be-born daughter.  So he carried a pager with him all week, ready to walk off the course the instant he received the page from his wife.

Now, nearly 10 years later, Amy has been diagnosed with breast cancer.  So what is Phil to do?  Continue traveling with the PGA tour?  Pour more and more hours into his job to avoid the difficulties of home?  No.  Phil is taking time off to be with his wife and family (granted, Phil has more money than most, and so has the freedom to take time off and still financially survive).  To me, that’s a noble move.

Phil has put his reputation on the line in order to make his family more important than his job.  Investing in his family is more important than getting that next big win.

Maybe we husbands could learn something from Phil.  Lets evaluate what is of utmost importance to us.  Is it our job?  Our reputation?  That next “big win”?  Or is it our family?

Here’s a tribute to one of the craziest shots I ever saw Phil make.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3PslA4WcSos&color1=0xb1b1b1&color2=0xcfcfcf&hl=en&feature=player_embedded&fs=1]

 

Josh Patterson is one of the pastors at The Village Church in Dallas, TX, and writes for their blog.  I love what he has said concerning the passing of Michael Jackson.  His response reflects a Biblical worldview.  I thought I’d share it with you.

I have tried to “moonwalk” a thousand times. I used to think the “Thriller” video was the coolest thing ever…and a little scary. I might have owned a red leather jacket with a bunch of zippers. In the third grade, I performed a moving rendition of “Beat it” for the school talent show and brought the house down. “Billie Jean” still has the most memorable beat to start a song and the sure fast way to get a party started. I really did think Michael Jackson was “Bad” and a “Smooth Criminal.” You know you cried the first time you realized it really did start with the “Man in the Mirror” and “We are the World.” If ever we saw an icon fall from grace, it was Michael Jackson.

He was a man who was never comfortable in his skin. He always wanted to be something other than he was. Money afforded him the opportunity to chase a thousand fantasies from morphing his image (literally) to building Neverland. It the end, he was a sad commentary on the truths found in the book of Ecclesiastes. Vanity of vanity…life is all vanity. The pursuit of wisdom, riches, fame, fortune, safety, security, simplicity, chastity, fidelity, friendship or solitude is all a vain pursuit. Death is the great equalizer. Christ is the great hope.

 

Laura and I celebrated our 5 year anniversary together this weekend.  Wow, how time flies!  Here are some things we’ve done that I would consider significant, in random order:

1. Moved five times.

2. Finished graduate school.

3. Bought a car and a truck.

4. Bought a house.

5. Bought a dog.

6. Had a child.

7. Led a small group

8. Learned how to love each other.

9. Laughed together.

10. Cried together.

11. Dreamed about ministry together.

12. Went on a lot of dates.

13. Invested in other couples.

14. Found couples that would invest in us.

15. Cleaned house together.

16. Worked hard to find the best, most unique gifts for each other, instead of only doing that for others.

17. Fell asleep on the couch together

18. Worshiped together.

19. Read Scripture together. (which leads back to #18)

20. Grow a garden together.

____________________________________________________________

What have you done in five years?

 

This year, I’ve taken up gardening.  I wrote a little bit about that here.  Before you write me off as a girly man, hear me out.

I built four raised plant beds to plant some mini-gardens in my back yard.  I don’t have room for a full-on garden, and raised beds tend to look tidier.  In addition, they’re supposed to cut down on weeds.  Based on the word supposed, you can guess that that’s not exactly the case.  At least it’s not so when you use dirt that’s full of weed seeds.  You see, I got the dirt from my grandfather’s farm, and though the dirt is unbelievably rich, it had some weed seeds in it.

My wife and I planted lots of vegetables: carrots, bibb lettuce, red cabbage, tomatoes, cucumbers, squash, and other stuff I can’t remember.  We also have herbs and flowers in the garden.  As they began to germinate and eventually sprout up out of the ground, we got really excited.  Except that we weren’t sure whether these new green sprigs were veggies or weeds.

“Jesus told them another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like a man who sowed good seed in his field.  But while everyone was sleeping, his enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat, and went away.  When the wheat sprouted and formed heads, then the weeds also appeared.” (Matthew 13:24-26)

There will always be “weeds among the wheat” in the church.  You can be upset about that if you’d like, or do something about it.  Does the fact that there are “weeds” (and by “weeds,” I mean that there are those there who don’t really belong to the kingdom of God, i.e., they’re not saved) bother you?  I hope it does, because it should!  Weeds are not meant to be there!  Someone else, not the true Gardener, has placed them in the garden.  What should we, the Church, do about these unwelcomed, ugly, ultimately life-sucking weeds?  Cut them off?  Cast them out?  Try to build our garden so that no weeds enter (which is not possible, by the way)?  No.  That is unloving and un-Christlike.  The answer to the question, “what do we do with the weeds?” is that we love them.  We evangelize them.  We live and preach the Gospel in hopes that God transforms them from a weed into a beautiful plant that bears fruit for the Kingdom.  Instead of sucking the life out of the Church, we plead with them to give the desire of their heart to Christ and begin pouring life back into the Church!

Don’t forget…you were a weed once, too.

“You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous.” (Matthew 5:43-45)

 

If you have a “day off,” would you rather have something to do or nothing to do?

Having nothing to do stresses me out.  I feel like I should to be doing something.  Since I’m a pastor, and Sunday is a work day for me, I try to take at least part of Friday and Saturday off.  Yesterday, Laura and I had a community group over for game night at our house.  Today is a “day off” for me, but it’s nowhere near a day off.  I’m preparing for leadership training tomorrow and a membership information class that I’ll be leading.  In addition, my wife has a booth (for the small business that we have on the side) set up at a spring fair here in Clarksville.  I set it up this morning, and will tear it down this afternoon.

I hate having nothing to do.  I wasn’t created for that.  Call it a personality quirk if you’d like, but I like to work.  What about you?

 

I recently posted this to Twitter:

“What activity/hobby have you taken up that helps you & your spouse spend MORE time together? If you don’t have one, why not?”

There are lots of hobbies/activities that I enjoy.  I like to run, bike, play golf, read, blog, and watch 24.  I highlight those things because I do all of those without my wife.  Either they’re solo activities or she hates them (well, lets just be fair…she hates 24…she says it’s like a bad male soap opera…I don’t deny it, but still love to watch!).

In and of themselves, these activities aren’t wrong.  In fact, most of them are pretty healthy…running and biking are good for my physical body, while reading and blogging are good for my mind.  I’m not indulging in activities that are harmul for me or for my family, so why would I ever need to be careful in doing them?

Even “good” things can become a hindrance to my relationship with my wife.

I am not ready to give up these hobbies.  My wife isn’t asking me to, and, like I said, I enjoy them.  In fact, it’s healthy for couples to be able to operate independently of each other at times.  But most couples have the independent part of their lives covered pretty well.  What they need to work on is bringing their lives together more.

I’ve recently taken up gardening.  Though that may sound a bit girly, it’s really hard work.  My wife and I constructed four raised bed gardens and a shade garden for our back yard.  We’re really proud of the work!  Maybe more importantly, though, we were able to work together to get it completed.  We’ve found something to do together that we both enjoy.

Husbands, how can you reach out to your wife and develop a love of something that she enjoys doing?

Wives, how can you stretch yourself to do something that you know your husband loves?

Do you want your spouse to love you even more?  Try loving something that they love.

 

Who is your hero?  Do you have a person you look to who has displayed courage in the face of danger, and after whom you can emulate your life?  What is it about that person that is hero-worthy?  What have they done, or are they doing, that causes you and others to take notice?  If you don’t have a hero, find one.  Is there someone in your sphere of influence that you can and should be learning from and following?  If not, then who, throughout your life (maybe even looking into the past), can look to?

Once you find one, be one.  Be a person who lives a life worthy to be repeated.  Paul says it like this, “As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received.” (Ephesians 4:1)  Live a life that looks like the God of the universe has saved you.  Live your life in such a way that others cannot help but say, “Wow, that guy’s different, and I want to be like him.”  What does this “different” life look like?  Does it look like a monastic society, removing oneself from the “comforts of the world” in favor of living in communities that are separate from the rest of society?  Does it mean listening to only Christian music and watching only Christian movies?  Does it look like never smoking or drinking, going to a Christian school, wearing Christian t-shirts, drinking Christian water, and being known more for what you are against rather than what you are for?  Let me offer you a different perspective, one that I think Paul (who said, “Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice.” (Philippians 4:9)) would agree with, primarily because he wrote it.  Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.  Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. There is one body and one Spirit—just as you were called to one hope when you were called— one Lord, one faith, one baptism; one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all,” (Ephesians 4:2-5) and “whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things” (Philippians 4:8).  This, by no stretch of the imagination or search of Biblical texts, exhausts what it means to be a follower of Christ.  It does, however, paint a picture of what a “hero” of the faith looks like.  Need more examples?  Check out Hebrews 11, where you’ll find tons of heros of the faith.

Are you becoming a hero?

If you need another example of a hero, watch this video of a “true” hero.  Laughter is a good thing.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gn8EQ0azXpQ&hl=en&fs=1&rel=0]

 

I want to thank you for all of the prayers you prayed for my son, who had surgery a couple of weeks ago.  It went very well, and he’s recovering nicely.  In fact, he does not even react as if the surgery site is painful now.  We’re so thankful for the outpouring of love and support from you all.

Sending my son in for surgery was one of the toughest things I’ve had to do.  The worst part was when they wheeled him out to the operating room, and we saw him round the corner away from us.  Let me tell you, that was a tough moment.  Part of the reason it was so tough was because it’s my son, and I love him, and I hate to see him hurting.  But the other, and more significant reason that it was so difficult, I believe, was that it was out of my control.  Surgery is beyond my level of expertise, and I had nothing to do with the procedure in the surgery room.  It was completely beyond me.  When things are beyond us, out of our control, we can move in one of two directions: worry or trust.

Worry says that I don’t really trust that God is in control.  Because God is not fully in control, and He’s not going to give this the time, effort, love, and thought that the gravity of this situation deserves, I in my sufficient wisdom will fret, sweat, and unhealthily concern myself with that which I cannot control.  God cannot be in control, because if He were, He would have led me to this situation.  Worry, at its heart, reflects a lack of trust.

Trust, on the other hand, says that though this is a difficult situation, and I don’t know what the outcome will be, God is in control.  As He has been faithful in the past, so will He be faithful now.  God is good, and His love endures forever (1 Chronicles 16:34).  The one who trusts sleeps peacefully in the knowledge that God is the one who provides true safety (Psalm 4:8).  Trust, at its heart, reflects a true belief.

I’d like to say that I never once worried throughout this whole process, but I can’t honestly say that.  However, I can say that difficult situations tend to bring heart issues out.  When difficult times come, use that as a time to evaluate your heart.  Will you worry?  Or will you flee to God?

 

As a way of honoring the volunteers in our community groups ministry, my wife hosted a Christmas party for the wives of group leaders.  I thought that this would be one of those parties that I could just slip out of, and go hang out with the guys.  Suffice it to say that that didn’t happen.  I was stuck in the house with a bunch of ladies who would be eating and exchanging gifts.

My job for the evening was to make lattes and hot chocolate for everybody.  I am often delegated this responsibility because I worked at a coffee shop as a barista for over 3 years, and really enjoy coffee.  I made a variety of different drinks that night.

What stood out to me was their response to the drinks, and what that did for me.  Some ladies were very appreciative, saying, “Thanks!” or “We appreciate you doing this for us!”  It was nice that they appreciated my drinks, but the greatest responses were, “That’s good,” and “I really like that,” and “I didn’t even know if this would be good, but I love it!”  Now, I don’t say this to toot my own horn at all.  I say this to point you to what worship is, at its core.

Worship is enjoying God.  Sure, there are other aspects of worship.  Take, for example, giving.  Giving is an act of worship, right?  But giving to others, merely because God says to give, isn’t enough (though it is a step of obedience).  “Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” (2 Corinthians 9:7)  There is a component to giving that requires an emotional commitment.  A cheerful giver does not give merely because he or she has to give.  They take delight in giving.  But can an emotion really be commanded?  Aren’t emotions just a reaction, not something that we can control or help?

“Delight yourself in the Lord.” (Psalm 37:4)  There it is.  Delighting involves an emotion.  Delighting means that you have a positive affection towards something or someone.  To delight in something means that you enjoy it.  To delight in God means that we enjoy Him.  David, the psalmist, delights in and longs for the sweet commandments and precepts of God. (Psalm 119:16, 24, 29-30, 36, 40, 47-48, 58, 70, 72, 77, 92, 103, 111, 131, 143, 162, 164, 174)  How do you go about the business of delighting in God?  I think it starts with two things: trusting in the Lord and committing your way to Him. (Psalm 37:3, 5) Delight can be both the catalyst and the result of trusting and committing, and is an essential aspect of worship.

The ladies showed the most value to my drinks when they enjoyed them.  The empty cup and a smile went much further in my mind than words alone.  What about with God?  Do you think He just wants your words?  Or does He want your heart, too?