What pastors really mean when they say…

benlreed —  August 21, 2012 — 8 Comments

We pastors say a lot. Most of the time, we’re straight shooters.

At least as far as you can tell.

Screen Shot 2012-08-21 at 8.48.32 AM

image credit: CreationSwap user Bobby Ross, edits mine

Sometimes, though, we don’t really mean what we say. It’s not that we’re speaking an outright lie. There are just subtle, slightly different interpretations that one might make of our words. We’re like a good exercise in hermeneutics…be careful the first time you try to read us. Read us in our grammatico-historical context and it’ll all make sense. Speed-read through an interaction and you miss the fuller context.

Don’t be offended here. Not all pastors mean these things every time. Give us some grace. Allow us the space to love on and minister to our family first. And for crying out loud, quit thinking that paid staff are the only ones to whom the Great Commission was given!

What pastors really mean…

We say: You emailed me? It must have gotten lost in the digital mail.

We mean: I read that thing three days ago. Forgot to respond.

We say: My evenings are booked solid this week.

We mean: I value my family time. Find a way to meet during normal business hours.

We say: Instead of meeting with me, could you meet with one of our small group leaders?

We mean: I’m not the only pastor here!

We say: That’s a great question about amillennialism. What do you think?

We mean: I haven’t thought about that stuff since seminary…help me please, Wayne Grudem!

We say: Saturday morning men’s group? Sorry, my Saturdays are slammed.

We mean: My tee time starts at 8.

We say: Your kid is so cute!

We mean: I love you and your kid, but goodness that kid is not cute… (don’t get offended…if your kid isn’t cute, you know it)

We say: If you want to grow in your faith, you should join a small group.

We mean: If you want to grow in your faith, you should join a small group.

We say: Have you thought about serving?

We mean: Get off your lazy rear end and do something!

We say: I won’t meet with members of the opposite sex alone in private or in public over a meal.

We mean: I value my marriage more than I value meeting with you alone.

Question:

Ever heard a pastor say one thing and wonder if they really meant something else?

 

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benlreed

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Christ follower, husband, father, writer, pastor of small groups at Long Hollow Baptist Church. Communications director for the Small Group Network.
  • http://twitter.com/_Brad_Gilbert_ Brad Gilbert

    As a pastor, I would add to the first one that not only do I sometimes forget to respond, but, “You forward me so much junk email that I never read anything you send anymore.”

    • http://www.benreed.net Ben Reed

      Wow. So true, Brad!

  • http://undistractedchristian.com/ Tyler Hess

    my pastor has a terrible memory, so when he forgets something most of us let it slide…he’s a busy guy. and my kid IS cute.

  • Mpalomaki

    My preacher dad’s personal favorite: “And in conclusion” – what it means – absolutely nothing

    • http://www.benreed.net Ben Reed

      Yes…that’s awesome! How about, “I’ve just got one last point here in my sermon…”

      Translation: settle in. We’re going to be here a while.

    • jacktx42

      Why, that just means the conclusion to an argument being made, not the end of the sermon.

  • http://www.jasonvana.com Jason Vana

    Dude – you’re giving away my secrets here! I’ve said a lot of these things and meant what you wrote when talking with my students. I don’t have a family myself, but I do value that down time where I’m not ministering to people but being ministered to myself. I’ve actually taught them that one night a week, they are not allowed to call, stop by or try to get me to do anything unless it is an absolute emergency. I need my Jason and God night.

    • http://www.benreed.net Ben Reed

      Ha! Sorry about that…

      Yes, you do need your Jason and God night. It makes you a much better pastor.