Wisdom for leaders young and old

benlreed —  December 14, 2011 — 11 Comments

Stuck Between Stages

I find myself in a strange stage of life at this moment. In many ways, I can appeal to two very different groups: older leaders and younger leaders.

To younger leaders, I’m older. I’ve been in vocational ministry for nearly 6 years, have experience writing, teaching, leading teams, and consulting. I’ve been married for more than 7 years and have a 3 year old son. To “young” leaders, I’m old…ahem…experienced.

To older leaders, I’m still young. I’m not yet 30, still have a young child, have not run as many ministry laps as others, and still have a lot to learn. The “wet” behind my ears isn’t yet fully dried.

I find myself stuck between new leaders and old leaders. Which leaves me categorically nowhere. Thanks a lot, late-20s.

Living the Tension

For many of the decisions in my life right now, I live in this tension. I’ve been around long enough to stand on my own feet…but l have also been around long enough to know I don’t know everything. There are still days I feel in over my head. There are still days where I doubt myself. There are still days when I desperately need the sage advice that experience brings.

But I’ve been around long enough that people are looking at me for that same kind of advice. Which frightens me…and should frighten many others, too.

Many days, I wonder whether the next step forward is a good one…or is just a creepy man with a white wigbeard. Should I tell him what I want…or look at him, like my son did, with much trepidation?

photo credit: me

 

Allow me, out of this tension, to speak to you.

To older leaders:

We need you. Urge us to proceed with caution or to run full throttle. Prod us to start something new. Encourage us to quit doing what we’re doing. Tell us what you would do if you were our age. We crave your years of experience. We long to learn from your failures so we don’t replicate them. Help us to stand on your shoulders and see further than our own vantage point offers.

To younger leaders:

Seek wisdom. It’s out there for you. In books, podcasts, and blog posts. It’s available in other men and women, screaming to shed light on the dark and confusing areas of your life. Don’t try to navigate the fog on your own. Life’s too short, and you haven’t lived enough of it.

Out in the open wisdom calls aloud, she raises her voice in the public square; on top of the wall she cries out, at the city gate she makes her speech. (Proverbs 1:20-21)

Whatever stage in life you find yourself, you have a role. Lead upwards and downwards, sideways and backwards. The Kingdom needs you.

 

 

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benlreed

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Christ follower, husband, father, writer, pastor of small groups at Long Hollow Baptist Church. Communications director for the Small Group Network.
  • http://jonathanpearson.net/ Jonathan Pearson

    Great post man! I find myself in many of these same situations. This would be a great post for our new project. :) PS: Are you calling Ron old?? 

  • http://www.lifeofasteward.com Loren Pinilis

    As a 30-year old, I can identify. It’s not just the awkwardness of how other groups view me. It’s also about how I view myself, if that makes sense. *I* feel like I’m at some in between stage. I feel kinda like I’m on the beginning of a roller coaster where I’m clank-clank-clanking up that first hill, ready to be set loose. It’s an exercise in patience. But God has been faithfully using this time to teach me and humble me. I just try to be faithful wherever I find myself.

    To your point about wisdom being sought, I totally agree. There are so many materials out there in addition to wonderful face to face relationships we can have with other leaders. But my greatest encouragement would be to get out there and try things. The greatest lessons I’ve learned came when my practical experience (often through failure) augmented the information I had gleaned from other sources.

    • http://www.benreed.net Ben Reed

      That makes total sense to me, Loren. 

      I so resonate with your idea, too, that the greatest lessons I’ve learned…through failure…have greatly augmented what I’ve learned elsewhere.

  • http://bit.ly/hWr7Cw Rob T

    good post.  if it is any consolation, I just hit 40, have been doing ministry virtually all my adult life, and I still feel like a new leader. 

    • http://www.benreed.net Ben Reed

      Dang, Rob. It’s no consolation at all. I was hoping that the next 10 years would afford something different! :(

  • http://www.jasonvana.com Jason Vana

    I’m 31 and in that same tension myself. I’ve been in bi-vocational ministry leadership for 10 years now, so I have a good understanding of what I’m doing, but definitely don’t know everything. Seeking out wisdom is still an important part of my leadership. Great post, Ben!

    • http://www.benreed.net Ben Reed

      Thanks Jason. And, for the record, you dish out tons of wisdom on your blog. I love learning from you!

      • http://www.jasonvana.com Jason Vana

        Wow – thank you for that, Ben! That means a lot.

  • Anonymous

    I can relate with where you are at. I have served as a volunteer leader for many years and have had the chance to mentor future leaders while older leaders see me as a young leader.

    Great thoughts!!!

    • http://www.benreed.net Ben Reed

      Thanks Dan…glad to know I’m not alone!