Community is realized in story

benlreed —  November 14, 2011 — 13 Comments

Community is realized in story.

Image credit Creation Swap user Pierce Brantley

On the first night of our small group, I didn’t want to make things too awkward. I didn’t want to be the guy who dumped all of my junk on everyone…you know, the emo guy that just goes around with a rain cloud over my head, and shares dark things all of the time. You know who I’m talking about. Every time you talk to them you think, “How are you even still alive? You are so dark and mysterious…”

Community and Prayer

I didn’t want to pressure people too much, so I closed in prayer. I just laid it out there and said, “Hey, we’re going to close in prayer…please don’t feel the pressure to share anything…if you want prayer, please mention it and someone will volunteer to pray out loud for you in a moment.” There must have been something magical in those words. Because in that moment, the heavens opened up and it was glorious.

Our group gravitated towards each other’s stories. We could’ve gravitated towards a lot in that moment, but it was with each unfolding story that our group began moving inwards.

I didn’t ask for community to happen…it just did. Our group went from fragmented, broken individuals to a unified community in the matter of about 12 minutes. And I’ve seen this over and over again. Fragmented individuals come together more quickly and more tightly, forming the bonds of community, through the power of story. Stories reveal shared experiences.

Isn’t Community Through the Gospel?

I know that some of you right now are saying, “Nope, it’s not through story, you crazy liberal! It’s through Gospel. We’re aiming for Gospel-centered community, NOT story-centered community. Have you read Blue Like Jazz too many times?”

 Community is not realized in a group simply when we find out that we all follow Jesus.

Community is realized

  • When I hear how the Gospel has changed your life.
  • When I hear the junk you’ve had to deal with, and that God’s grace has brought you through it.
  • When I hear the pain you’ve been through, yet hear how the hope of the Gospel has sustained you.
  • When I hear about how the Gospel has changed your desires.
  • When I see that the Gospel transformed your family.

In the process of hearing your story, I hear mine. I make connections between who you were and who I was. I link who you’re becoming with who I’m becoming. And I see that the Gospel is strong enough. Scandalous enough. Generous enough. Big enough to transform my story, too.

Your story gives me hope.

Without your story, community isn’t found. “Bible study” may be found. “Fun” may be found. “Relationships” may be found. But genuine community is formed when I see and hear and feel and  smell and hug and experience the Gospel in your life.

To choose to not share your story is to choose fear. And it’s choosing a weak, inadequate form of community when the Gospel offers much, much more.

Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. – Romans 12:15-16

 

 

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benlreed

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Christ follower, husband, father, writer, pastor of small groups at Long Hollow Baptist Church. Communications director for the Small Group Network.
  • Michael Dean

    Great post Ben, you crazy liberal! :)  

    I love this…

    “But genuine community is formed when I see and hear and feel and smell and hug and experience the Gospel in your life.”

    Makes me think of Col 3:14.

  • http://www.mustardseedyear.com Jason Wert

    “Community is not realized in a group simply when we find out that we all follow Jesus.”

    Amen, man.  Amen.  I’ve been in way too many churches where they just throw people together and then say “develop community” with nothing else there but the fact we’re all Christians.  There has to be the deeper connections or it won’t work.

    • http://www.benreed.net Ben Reed

      Yeah, it’s assumed that community just naturally happens. But it doesn’t. Stories give us those deeper connections. 

      Thanks for jumping in the discussion, Jason!

  • http://www.betachristian.net Moe

    I would go on to say that community is created by doing what Jesus did with his disciples. Breaking bread with them. Jesus broke bread with his disciples, sinners, pharisees, etc. A meal breaks down barriers and allows love and communion to spring forward. It’s not weird (since everybody eats) and opens up the opportunity for dialogue.

    Meals were a critical part of Jesus’ ministry as well as the early church: 
     “Day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts” (Acts 2:46). 

    The only local church gathering the book of Acts describes concerns the church at Troas. And it says that they “were gathered together to break bread” (Acts 20:7 and verse 11). They met for a meal. 

    Bring people around a table and you will see wonders. People will share their stories, they will open up and they will welcome the community. 

    • http://www.benreed.net Ben Reed

      Yes! So agree with you here, Moe!

      In fact, I teach all of the group leaders at Grace, where I’m on staff, this principle. It’s vital to a group’s health.

      Have you read the book, “A Meal with Jesus” by Tim Chester? It’s on my to-read list. Looks really good. http://www.amazon.com/Meal-Jesus-Discovering-Community-Mission/dp/1433521369

      • http://www.betachristian.net Moe

        Yes, In fact, that’s one of the reasons I mentioned meals. I finished reading that a few months ago. Fantastic book. In fact, it was an eye opener. Jesus mentions meals so many times and it has such great significance. He even goes on to say that  eating meals is prophetical and how the first thing we will do in heaven is partake of a great meal. 

        I was very surprised by the book. I was skeptical at first, but I have applied it in my life and I have seen the change. Often even in our churches, people go home after their service and have no “community” with others. 

        I serve in the board of the church and we implemented a meal between sunday school and the sermon (we are a small church (40 members), so we can do this with ease) and we have seen fantastic results. People get to “know” one another and care more deeply about one another. Many people will open up and be willing to have an honest conversation about faith.  I love it!

        • http://www.benreed.net Ben Reed

          That’s strong, Moe. I like that a lot!

  • http://spenceshelton.com Spence Shelton

    i don’t want to be in community with Ben Reed if he is going to smell me.

    • http://www.benreed.net Ben Reed

      Which explains a lot about why you’ve never been asked to be in my group…

  • http://twitter.com/InciteFaith Julie

    You know the beautiful thing about sharing our stories & building community? 

    There are no boundaries. At least on my end. 

    When I first began my relationship with God full on, I had to learn the hard way that some people simply don’t want to hear your story. They don’t want to hear the things you’ve gone through, the pain you’ve felt, and how those moments in your life are what brought you to God’s feet.

    I will admit there have been some stories of how people have been able to find God have left me feeling intimidated and that my story “didn’t measure up.” But the truth is, regardless of our story, we have a relationship. We have a relationship with God.

    As I am growing in my faith and connecting with different people (Thanks to Twitter), I am realizing I am not alone. Do you know how reassuring that is? To have felt alone in a world of many six months ago and to feel at peace knowing that I can share my story, people even *ask* to share it, it makes the pain and the journey of my past SO worth it.

    That’s the beautiful thing about God and how He works in our life and crosses people in our path.  That’s the beautiful thing about community & what it really means to connect.

    Great post Ben, highly favored!

    • http://www.benreed.net Ben Reed

      This is like a mini-blog in the comments section…and I love it! What a beautiful story, Julie. Thanks for being vulnerable.

      “Regardless of our story, we have a relationship with God.” That’s so good.

      Seriously, you should blog this idea. 

  • http://manofdepravity.com Tyler Braun

    I think the role of story is that the gospel was conveyed to us in large part through narrative. And we live out that gospel story in our lives as a narrative. But yes I agree with you, true community is found not in sharing our stories but in allowing the gospel to bring us together.

    • http://www.benreed.net Ben Reed

      Yep, agreed. We’re a living, breathing “story,” or a “picture” of the Gospel. 

      Sometimes we paint a beautiful picture. Sometimes it’s less than beautiful. But we’re always painting.