Church-Members-Parking-Sign-K-5013

Excluding visitors from small groups?

benlreed —  March 9, 2011 — 16 Comments

Michael McKinley wrote this yesterday on the 9Marks Blog:

So in our church, non-members are welcome to attend and participate in the public services of the church.  We are happy to have them in our Sunday morning gathering, our Sunday evening gathering, and our fellowship meals.

But we don’t let people attend small groups…until they are members.

 

This statement shocks me, and runs countercultural to what we, as a church (Grace Community Church) are trying to accomplish.  We never want to exclude new folks from being a part of our small groups, because we believe that the best way to get connected, grow in your faith, and become a disciple of Christ is in the context of small groups.

If we were to exclude visitors from linking up with small groups, we would, in effect, be saying that we value church membership over discipleship.

I’m not ready to make a statement like that.

But maybe I’m wrong.

What do you think?

Should visitors be excluded from small groups, until they become members?

 

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Delicious
  • LinkedIn
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Twitter
  • Email
  • RSS
In Church, Leadership, SmallGroups, Theology , , , , , ,
permalink

benlreed

Posts Twitter Facebook

Christ follower, husband, father, writer, pastor of small groups at Long Hollow Baptist Church. Communications director for the Small Group Network.
  • Lucy

    If by “visitors” you mean someone who drops in and out or comes to church a few times and to several different small groups a few times… I vote no. If by “visitors” you mean someone who comes weekly and has ties to the community but has not fulfilled what the church thinks is appropriate to become a member, then sure. The difference to me is: when small groups are so open to the public that any visitors can drop by, you sacrifice vulnerability and accountability on the altar of inclusion. Something in the process of discipleship is lost. There needs to be a oneness in the group–a unifying quality of stableness that breeds trust and honesty. That illusively slips away when people drop in and drop out, come some weeks and not others–visitor, member, or other. Inclusion is a good thing in a large, general setting. Exclusion for the sake of unity is a good thing in a small group specific setting. Just a few of my thoughts (but then, I probably value discipleship more than most).

  • http://www.bigb94.wordpress.com Brandon

    I think you are totally right. When you don’t allow visitors to take part in small group, you are putting more emphasis on the “church” than on the actual church.

    • http://www.benreed.net Ben Reed

      Couldn’t agree more!

  • http://www.jasonvana.com Jason Vana

    I agree with you – visitors should not only be allowed into small groups, they should be encouraged to get involved. When I read about the church in the New Testament, it grew and developed disciples not in large, service-like settings, but in the small groups that met in people’s homes.

    To tell visitors they have to be a member of the church (which usually implies that they tithe to the church) before they can get involved in a small group runs counter-intuitive to the life of Christ.

    • http://www.benreed.net Ben Reed

      Yep. Totally agree, Jason. The NT church example is strong.

  • http://www.mustardseedyear.com Jason Wert

    The problem is we need to define what we mean by “visitors.” When I see a small group, I see a place where you’re trying to get a part of your church body to live together in a real and accountable way. We’re living in an age where Christians are targets by some parts of the general community. They’re looking for a way to embarrass, harass and belittle Christians. If you let anyone who come once or twice into your small groups you’re just inviting someone to post something on the internet or take a video for YouTube of one of your members being vulnerable and hold them up for scorn.

    Perhaps require them to take the new membership class or have a class for “new visitors” to talk about the church, it’s beliefs, etc. before they can join small groups. Something that says they’re serious about being a part of the church body. Most people have enough trouble getting a small group of members to stay together and work out, let alone people who aren’t sure they want to stay and invest in the church body.

    • http://www.benreed.net Ben Reed

      Jason, the problem with that is that what we’d be communicating is that we don’t trust our leaders to lead their group well.

      Instead, I look to equip our group leaders so that they can handle issues as they arise, whether theological or practical in nature.

      Commitment to a small group is important, and you’re right…having one or two people jump in and out of your group can disrupt community. When I talk with visitors on Sundays, I emphasize that there are natural times to join a small group, and that it’s easier during those times than other times throughout the year. But I don’t want to limit their joining a group to them becoming a member, or going through membership classes.

      Not that I’m opposed to membership classes, but I know that people are hesitant to “join” a church until they’ve been a part of it for a while. And some people may not even be sold on the whole “Jesus” thing. And small groups become a great environment for them to explore Christianity.

      I’d hate to turn those folks away because they’re not members yet.

  • http://twitter.com/joannamuses joanna

    I think it is a good thing to discourage people from being irregular attenders at a small group. Attendance that changes from week to week can seriously disrupt group dynamics.

    Their desire to protect their people from harmful people and teaching is a good thing. I suspect however that stopping regular non-member attendees is probably not as helpful as they are hoping. It may even give a false sense of security. It isn’t just new people that can be wolves. Very often a wolf is someone who has been around for a while- maybe they have developed a grudge against someone and are out to cause trouble or maybe they wandered theologically sometime into their Christian life. There is also the possibility of people who have had questionable intentions managing to get through the membership process by saying all the right things.

    Instead, what is probably more helpful is to make sure that the group leaders are theological strong and know how to spot and deal with problems that may come up in their groups. It is also important that church members are taught in a way that leads them to becoming biblically literate and discerning so that they don’t get sucked into false teaching, in their small group or whether they come across it.

    • http://www.benreed.net Ben Reed

      Totally agree with you on the “wolf” comment. Wolves, like you said, aren’t just visitors. Often they’re members. It can’t be that tough to sneak your way through a membership process if that’s your prerogative.

      I also agree with you on the strength of group leaders. That’s important.

      It is good to discourage people from being irregular attenders, but I don’t want to let that drive us to discouraging visitors from joining a small group. I want to encourage visitors, and members alike, to actually commit to a group.

      Thanks for jumping in the discussion, Joanna!

  • http://larryhehn.com Larry Hehn

    I agree with you 100%, Ben. There are people in my small group who do not come to our church on Sundays. It has not compromised our group in the least. I can’t imagine willing an environment that would exclude them from our community like that. As soon as we make our small groups into some sort of exclusive club, I think we defeat the whole purpose of them.

    • http://www.benreed.net Ben Reed

      Same kind of story in my small group, Larry.

      I’m with you…no exclusivity is, in my opinion, healthy.

  • Cindy

    Hey Ben,
    We at Cedar Creek Church look at our small groups as a backdoor approach to reaching folks for Jesus. A neighbor, friend, co-worker, etc may come into the comfort of a friend’s home long before they walk into a Sunday morning worship service. Jesus met from home to home and so should we! :)
    Thanks for your blog, I enjoy it!
    Cindy Burkhart, Director of HOME Groups, Cedar Creek West Campus

    • http://www.benreed.net Ben Reed

      I like that, Cindy!

  • http://www.adhost.dk/sogemaskineoptimering.shtml søgemaskineoptimering københav

    Save on your summer holiday with one of Travel Indochina’s trips in May or June – there’s a discount of £250 (Dh1,493) per person on all “small group” 10-day journeys across a range of destinations in Asia, including Thailand, Cambodia, Vietnam, China, …

  • http://www.spacify.com/modern_lounge_chairs-6-411.html Modern lounge chair

    Weight No More, a friendly weight loss support group, welcomes new members. Discussions include weight loss tips, recipes, and helpful ideas to help participants reach their goals. Fees are $5 monthly to defray the room rental costs, and small fines …

  • http://www.spacify.com/modern_lounge_chairs-6-411.html Modern lounge chair

    Weight No More, a friendly weight loss support group, welcomes new members. Discussions include weight loss tips, recipes, and helpful ideas to help participants reach their goals. Fees are $5 monthly to defray the room rental costs, and small fines …