You should not be in a small group if…
Here are a few reasons that you should never, under any circumstances, be in a small group:
You should not be in a small group if
…you cannot tolerate messiness. Doing life together with others is often messy, because you are doing life together with sinners (don’t forget that you’re a sinner, too!)! Don’t always look for a neat bow to be tied at the end of each week of meeting together. It’s just not going to happen. Your story, and those in your group, is ongoing.
…you cannot tolerate a bit of chaos. Coordinating schedules, activities, emails, curriculum choices, food choices, etc. can be a big headache. If you can’t put up with a little bit of chaos, please check out now.
…you show up expecting to receive, but not give. In a small group, you’ll be expected to participate in the discussion. To reach out and build relationships. You’ll be expected to, on occasion, host the group in your home…or pray for others…or lead an icebreaker…or lead the group discussion. If you’re there just to soak it all in, small groups aren’t for you.
…you think that discipleship is limited to information transfer. It’s not! Read more about my thoughts about discipleship HERE.
…people get on your nerves. It’s inevitable. There will be “that guy” in your group. If you just absolutely can’t stand to be around “that guy,” then you can count on God putting him (or her) in your small group (just so you know, I think that it actually works for your good when God puts people who are not like you in a small group together. Conflict with others often reveals the sinful patterns in our own hearts. James 4:1-6 speaks to this.
…you are comfortable with your life. Small groups stretch you to love more, serve more, give more, and sacrifice more. Small groups are not for the faint of heart.
…you don’t want your faith to grow. Being an active part of a small group will grow your faith. The early church met in a gathering service and in homes (Acts 2:46). I’m not saying that the fact that they met in homes is the sole reason that “the Lord added to their number daily those who were being saved,” (Acts 2:47) but it was surely one piece that God was using then…and that, I believe, he continues to use now.
What can you add to this list? Why would somebody not want to be in a small group?
Nice. I actually had someone ask me to start a small group for couples because it was a need they had expressed. I got about 5 couples excited about the group. When the wife found out there was going to be a certain person there, they all of a sudden thought it wasn't a good idea. I have lived so many years listening to people give reasons why churches don't work for them. Sonce when is a church or small group supposed to work FOR you? How about flipping the concept. Nice article.
Chris, I agree with you. Small groups should benefit you. But that doesn’t mean that you won’t have to work to receive that benefit.
…if you don't want to listen. There can be that one person who talks too much and gives too much advice without really listening. Or chooses not to listen to what God might be saying to him/her through other brothers and sisters.
Be quick to listen, slow to speak… I feel like that’s in the Bible somewhere?!? Good observation, Andy!
Excellent word, Ben. You have described the paradox of life in the Kingdom and the small group is a microcosm of the Kingdom. Well said!
Ben,
Great article. Okay if I reprint it for use with our small group ministry? (I'll give you credit, of course!)
Absolutely, Joe. I hope it benefits you guys!