Small Group Success

Ben Reed —  July 20, 2009 — 32 Comments

I’m a small groups pastor, and part of my job is training up new small group leaders.  In addition to philosophical/theological/boring stuff that I talk about in new leader trainings, I give practical advice to help them make their small group a success (I know, I know, some of you would argue that good theology is always practical…don’t get all up in arms about my wording…you know what I mean).  Lots of this I learn because I lead a small group myself, and see group dynamics in action every week.  Part of this I learn through reading books.  Part I learn through reading blogs.  But this time, I want to learn from you.

Have you ever been in a small group?  How about a Sunday School class?  How about a Bible study with at least a few other people?  Still no?  Have you ever been a part of a group of guys from the office, just sitting around and talking?  (If you cannot answer “yes” to any of these questions, please close down your computer and get a real friend…j/k)  If so, you can help me out.

What makes a small group successful? We may all define the “win” differently based on our context and goals, but what is it that helps you to acheive the goals you are setting out to accomplish?  What can/should a small group leader do in order to be the best small group leader God is calling them to be?  Leave a comment and let me know two things that you have learned from being a part of a small group.  Your two answers won’t be comprehensive, but that’s ok.  Here are mine:

1. Make your small group “fun.”  If it’s not fun, people won’t come back.  You may have the most Biblical discussion that has ever happened in the history of the church, but if it’s boring, you’ll lose people the following week.

2. Open a discussion.  Give people a chance to voice objections, concerns, questions, and life experiences (and actually listen to their answers).  They’re a part of the story, too, you know?!?

Those are my two.  What do you think?

 

Share and Enjoy

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • Delicious
  • LinkedIn
  • StumbleUpon
  • Add to favorites
  • Twitter
  • Email
  • RSS
In SmallGroups , , ,
permalink

Ben Reed

Posts

  • http://www.jamrmiller.blogspot.com Mindy M.

    1) Having informal gatherings outside of Sunday School helps everyone become more comfortable and familiar with each other, which produces more & better discussion during Bible study.

    2) The best Bible study groups I have been a part of haven’t followed a curriculum, rather the leader has focused on various areas of life (i.e. building a stronger marriage) and the guidance the Bible offers on it. Not saying booklets are bad.

  • http://livingwithpurpose4him.blogspot.com Lori Graham

    Trust is just about the most important thing in our group. If people trust one another, they will be completely open and share what is TRULY going on in their lives….not just the “good” stuff. Once it is laid out there, then you know you can reach the true intimacy that can come out of a small group.

  • http://www.serendipityhouse.com The Navigator

    1) An environment where I could just be me. No masks, no hesitation before a comment to determine if that comment was appropriate with these people, etc…

    2) A group with a mission bigger than themselves, a group that was open to new people and invited them to join the group.

  • Michelle Reese

    In addition to what you listed:
    1. think food helps. We don’t get off in time to eat before we come so if there wasn’t food, we probably wouldn’t have kept coming week after week.
    2. Doing things as a group other than your normal meeting time.

  • Kristin Pearson

    We are new to small groups, but I think one of the best things we have done so far, was the pool party. We are the ‘newbies’ to this group, all the others had established relationships. The informal pool party on fathers day enabled us to spend a holiday together, have quality time, include some prayer, and mostly spend time getting to play together and interact in a way we normally would not. We got to view each other as parents, as spouses, having fun, eating messy food, and get to know each other better. That “letting loose” time enables you to get to know each other better and feel more comfortable opening up.

  • jmt

    I like food, honesty, frankness, etc. as much as anyone else. Here are my two:
    1. Group members should be offered a compelling reason to commit to the people in the group (in addition to the “hook” that attracts them). This might need to be tailored for different group members.

    2. Someone(s) needs to accept responsibility for the content & direction of the group. I’m not saying someone needs to control it or always choose the topics to discuss. I am saying that not all views of truth are equal – and foolishness (or blatant lies) that comes out in discussion needs to be addressed. The group will loose credibility in the eyes of its own members if all views of truth are always affirmed. It’s worth saying again that this need not be one person. I’ve been in groups with sharp folks who all were willing to speak up when something out of line was mentioned.

  • Michelle Clements

    I think it takes time to develop a strong group…often a lot of time. It seems at the beginning you start out with a group, some dwindle away, and you are left with those who really have a desire for relationships. But it’s hard to open up to people until you’ve invested enough time with them. Getting to that trust level is vital. And I agree that food helps – it helps people to relax a little and chit-chat and often provides conversation when you may not know what to say.

  • caryperks

    Two things I’ve learned re: a successful small group:

    1) Discover the right mix of fellowship, prayer, study, and service for each group. Ingredients may be the same, but groups are different.

    2)It’s vital to have a work or project so the group isn’t completely self-focused. I’ve been in great groups that eventually died because the group existed for its own sake.

  • Matt

    1.) Take advantage of the nights when few people attend. When everyone shows up it makes it hard to spend time and talk with everyone. When only a couple or two show up you can really focus on getting to know them better and they just might open up more than you thought.

    2.) Give group members ownership of something. It may be emailing prayer requests, social coordinator, food coordinator, helping take up donations, etc. It can utilize their gifts and create value for that member. Oh – did I mention it could also lighten your load?

  • Kris

    Communicate clearly in the beginning what your goals and hopes are. Handle concerns early so you don’t regret it later.

    Involve the group EARLY in taking responsiblity (of hosting or curriculum or whatever.) Once they are comfy, there’s no going back!

    I wish I had been more assertive with my group!

  • Dennis

    John Maxwell once said, “No one cares how much you know until they know how much you care”.

    Be real
    Lead..don’t teach
    Listen more
    Change things up often

  • Jeff Truitt

    I like the idea of listening more, hard for me to do, but productive when applied. Also be comfortable with silence when you ask a question

  • Pingback: Something “Borrowed” « EPO (Efficacious Pabulum for the Outward)

  • Ryan Eland

    A successful small group is one that is absolutely, 100% centered on and informed by the gospel. That is, it is made up of people who are habitually repenting of sin and accepting in faith a new identity in Christ.

    1 Corinthians 13:4-8 gives us a beautiful list of characteristics of a group of people who are working out God’s “agape” love as they relate to each other.

    A group that tries to be patient, kind, and humble, content, rejoicing, believing, bearing etc.. without the gospel at its center will be a “clanging cymbal”
    .” Joyful patience turns into gritting teeth. Kindness turns into “fear of man niceness”. Confident humility in the light of the cross becomes self depreciating false humility (which is just pride)…Our moralistic efforts at a gospel centered small group produce something altogether repulsive.

    Letting the Holy Spirit produce these “works” in you as you put to death your flesh and let Christ reign, however, paints a different picture. Jesus calls this being the “salt of the earth” and a “light set on a hill.” This is the very image of Christ.

    Now, take a gospel centered group, stick it right in the middle of your neighborhood and open the doors wide for all to participate. In so doing, they will experience first hand what it means to be a part of God’s kingdom.

    A successful small group is one that blesses each other and their community in word and deed in such a way that if they were ever removed, they would be sorely missed by believers and unbelievers alike.

  • Dennis

    Explanation on “Change things up often”

    Last week after our meal/fellowship time, we moved from our host home to the edge of a field 1.5 miles down the road. We had a thermo cell pack to ward off the mosquitoes. God’s wonderful creation burst to life in the natural setting. We enjoyed the change!

  • Chad

    1) Never looked shocked when people air out their laundry

    2) When as the leader I say, “Okay. That’s enough from me. I’ll listen to your comments,” then I have to actually do that. Even when the silence is awkward.

  • Barnhills

    1) To find a way to connect with each group member outside the gatherings.
    - This may be a challenge, but it has proved to be a worthwhile one! And at times, connecting with fellow group members (away from our gatherings) can be natural… Recently, I ran into one of our members in a store parking lot when I was running out & she was running in. After chatting for a few minutes, this spontaneous meeting turned into a couple of hours of great bonding time!

    2) Working together on service projects (outside & inside the group) has transitioned our relationship from friendship to “familyship” (sorry, that’s actually not a word, but hopefully makes some sense…).
    -For instance, 3 of the soldiers in our group deployed this past winter, so in missing them and wanting to show our gratitude, each member brought his/her own variety of homemade cookies to a gathering one night where we packaged them up for each of our soldier-friends. In doing so, not only were the wives very appreciative, but we enjoyed the fellowship & using this opportunity to get to know one another better.

  • trent

    Be real,be real,be real no mask no pretense no facades we are not playing “church”. open and honest. You don’t have to know everything or for that matter anything! most of us think to much of ourselves!!

  • benlreed

    Thanks for adding comments from the Sunday School viewpoint, Mindy. So, with the “haven’t followed a curriculum” thing, do you mean that the leader has a curriculum, but feels freedom to deviate when necessary, or that you like it best when there is no curriculum at all?

  • benlreed

    Lori, you’ve done a great job of developing trust in your groups, especially in this group that you’re leading now. How have you developed trust in your groups?

  • benlreed

    Great ideas, Rick. I love them! What kinds of “missions bigger than themselves” are you referring to? What kinds of things have you seen work, and group members rally behind?

  • benlreed

    Michelle, I think you’re right. Food is one of those things that group leaders don’t often think about, but you bring up a great point. In order for you guys to attend, food is a must. You wouldn’t have time to get off of work, eat, then make it to small group in time. Also, since our group divides the responsibility of food up to two couples each week, we can almost guarantee that we’ll never have less than 2 couples!

  • benlreed

    You’re exactly right, Kristin. Developing relationships help to foster depth in Bible study.

  • benlreed

    What do you mean by “the hook that attracts them?” The reason I ask is that I don’t want to just offer “hooks” to people when I’m telling them about why they need to be involved in small groups. Fish go after hooks b/c they’ve got bait on them, but soon realize that what they were going for is gone quickly. Thus, I’m not a huge fan of “hooks.” I don’t want to promise something that our small group ministry doesn’t deliver. What kinds of things are you thinking of with “hooks?”

  • benlreed

    This is a great encouragement, Michelle, to new group leaders. Just because “community” isn’t developed right off the bat doesn’t mean that it won’t. We should be patient with those who seem to be a little slower to open up. Great reminder!

  • benlreed

    Cary, thanks for the comment. What kinds of things have helped your groups be intentionally outward focused? Have there been some projects that worked? Some that tanked?

  • benlreed

    That’s profound, Matt. Most group leaders are discouraged when few people attend, but you look at it as an opportunity to connect at a more personal level with those few folks. That’s huge! Thanks for sharing your wisdom, Matt.

  • benlreed

    Sharing the load…that seems to be coming up more and more. What are some goals that you and your group have set? Mind sharing?

  • benlreed

    Dennis, I love it when you leave a comment. You could develop a whole small group ministry off of these points. What kinds of things did you have in mind when you said, “Change things up often?”

  • benlreed

    I work hard at being comfortable with silence. That’s a tough one, Jeff! 10 seconds feels like 10 minutes when nobody is talking. But I think it is absolutely essential, to give those who are a little slower to talk the chance to share their heart.

  • Cary Branscum

    We came up w/ a program called Share the Joy that simply matches (up to a thousand dollars)any money raised by a small group who wants to help an individual, or do a service project. We have a one page application for the group leader to fill out, the 3 person committe reviews it, and usually approves it. The church then cuts a check for the money. We;ve used this to help single parent families, pay for car repairs, and buy appliances for those who need them.

  • Ryan Eland

    just realized that wasn’t very practical at all.

    Celebrate together, eat together, rest together, invest in each other, serve together