The way that you apply any given Scripture is flavored by your life experiences.  It’s inevitable.  Hopefully you don’t rely on your life experiences as your interpretive grid, but to work through applications based on where you find yourself in life is appropriate (sorry…I’ll stop the hermeneutics lesson now).

I find myself as a small groups pastor, getting ready to train new small groups leaders.  I’m reading through Scriptures, and as I do, small groups applications come to mind.  Here’s what I read:

Be quick to listen, slow to speak. -James 1:19

Small group leaders need to remember this when leading their small group:

1. Listen intently to people’s stories. Knowing where somebody has come from and why they gave that particular answer will be unbelievably helpful for you as you lead that person.  Listening to and remembering people’s stories makes them feel that you care, and is a way you can love your group members.

2. Ask questions and wait for answers. Don’t ask a question and give your answer first.  Let others chew on it and share their thoughts.  Some people are slower to answer than others.  They may be more contemplative and take longer to process their answers.  Or, they may simply be polite and not want to talk over anybody.  As the group leader, be okay with silence.

3. Observe body language. Communication happens verbally and non-verbally.  Don’t neglect either.

4. Ask follow-up questions. Instead of taking an answer at face value and moving on, linger for a while.  Ask a follow-up question that draws the answer out a bit more.  Ask the group for feedback.  Listen for similarities and differences in response, and connect them.

The goal of a small group is not for the “right” answer to be the first answer.

Work to facilitate discussion.

Work to listen more and talk less.

There are some decisions in our lives that are black and white.  “I need some new clothes, so should I buy them or steal them?”  This is one of those decisions that’s not all that difficult for most people, right?  There’s a right choice and a wrong choice.  A choice that honors God and one that dishonors Him.  How about, “Hey, I think I might go out and lie to somebody today…does that sound like something you might like to do with me?”  Clear choice.  Right and wrong.

Something that is “gray” is neither black nor white.  It’s somewhere in the middle…maybe a little more black, maybe a hint more on the white side, but still, it’s “gray.”  Differing shades, but gray nonetheless.  And isn’t this where lots of our lives operate?  We’re not often faced with decisions that are blatantly right or wrong…there’s a hint of gray involved.  So how do we make decisions when we don’t have a definitive answer on a given issue?

My barometer is Scripture (though I acknowledge that many people have differing gauges) for matters of faith and practice.  If Scripture declares that a thought, a motive, or an action is wrong, then it is wrong…not just for me, but for everybody.  If Scripture declares that a certain action is right, or good, then not even the law of the land trumps.

So what determines what is right and what is wrong (for the purpose of this blog, lets focus on things which are not prohibited by law, and which God through Scripture has not spoken clearly on).  To get us on the same page, think about things like smoking a cigarette, watching a rated R movie, spanking your children, or getting a tatoo.  How about things like drinking alcohol in moderation, watching TV, or drinking coffee.  What about saying curse words (excluding those said in anger), sending your children to private Christian school, or listening to secular music?

How do you discern what is right and wrong?  Is it your own conscience?  In other words, if you’re not convicted that a certain action is wrong, it’s ok to do it?

Or are these gray areas things that all Christians should stay away from?  Maybe your mantra is, “If it’s gray, stay away.”  Are these things that, when we stay away from them, witness to others of our relationship with Christ?

I’ll post my thoughts on this soon, but I wanted to open up a discussion before I chimed in.  Let me know what you think.

So a few days ago I was disappointed, and today I’m just left shaking my head.  I was looking at the details and speaker lineup for an upcoming conference designed to help pastors and leaders make the best use of social media (Facebook, Twitter, blogs, etc.).  I looked at each speaker’s bio, and clicked through to their blog sites.  Three of their blogs had not been updated in over a week (which isn’t a huge deal), and two had not been updated in over 3 months!  If you are going to be a social media “expert,” you have got to be diligent about interacting in the social media world!  Updating a blog sporadically is fine for most people.  But for others, such as a speaker at a national event, not updating your blog kills your reputation and influence.

Are you becoming an “expert” in your field?  If not, why not?  Those you lead deserve your best.  If you’re a pastor, be the best in town.  If you’re a plumber, offer the best plumbing work available.  If you’re a real estate agent…find a new job (I’m kidding!).  You can become an expert in any field that you want, but it takes effort.  Read, ask questions, learn from others who are better at it than you, practice, practice, practice.

This “blogger” was supposed to be an expert, but he wasn’t.  He could have been, but dropped the ball.  Don’t lose influence with people by claiming one thing and living another.  That’s called hypocrisy.

And nobody likes a hypocrit.

Not even God.

This past weekend, Laura, my wife, and I traveled to Atlanta, GA, to visit with small groups pastor Scott Mawdesley, who was generous enough to give us a tour of North Point Community Church and allow us to ask lots of questions about what they do and why they do it.  We also got to visit Buckhead Church on Sunday morning.  The entire weekend was a great experience.

Whatever you do for a living, I would strongly suggest getting out of your normal environment.  Plan a day, a weekend, or even an entire week, to get away and learn from somebody else in a related field.  Here are 3 reasons why I think you desperately need this:

1. We migrate to tunnel-vision. Over time, you begin to think that you have the market on all of the great ideas.  Well, you don’t.  Trust me.  You may have lots of good ideas, but not all of them.

2. Evaluation naturally declines when you’re in the same box for an extended amount of time. Think with me for a minute.  If you’re literally in a box for a month, you might be in evaluation mode for a week or two.  Then, you begin to think that you’ve evaluated everything.  And probably, you have.  It’s only when you get into another person’s box that you see that your box is in need of repair.  Seeing other systems helps you to evaluate holes in your own.

3. Leading an organization (or a small group) can lead to burnout. Visiting other sites, and taking a break from wearing the “leader” hat, is refreshing, and needed on a regular basis.  Getting out of your box allows you to take a deep breath and relax.

So here’s my question for you:

Have you taken a break from leading and visited another business/small group/church?  What did you learn?

I’m listening to a myriad of music right now.  One artist that I’m really liking is Jon Foreman, lead singer of the band Switchfoot, who has recently recorded four EP’s (Fall, Winter, Spring, and Summer), and has also recently recorded an album with Sean Watkins (of Nickel Creek) as the band Fiction Family.  I love Jon’s song, Instead of a Show.  It’s taken almost directly from Isaiah 1.  Here are the lyrics:

Instead Of A Show
I hate all your show and pretense
The hypocrisy of your praise
The hypocrisy of your festivals
I hate all your show
Away with your noisy worship
Away with your noisy hymns
I stomp on my ears when you’re singing ‘em
I hate all your show

Instead let there be a flood of justice
An endless procession of righteous living, living
Instead let there be a flood of justice
Instead of a show

Your eyes are closed when you’re praying
You sing right along with the band
You shine up your shoes for services
There’s blood on your hands
You turned your back on the homeless
And the ones that don’t fit in your plan
Quit playing religion games
There’s blood on your hands

Instead let there be a flood of justice
An endless procession of righteous living, living
Instead let there be a flood of justice
Instead of a show
I hate all your show

Let’s argue this out
If your sins are blood red
Let’s argue this out
You’ll be one of the clouds
Let’s argue this out
Quit fooling around
Give love to the ones who can’t love at all
Give hope to the ones who got no hope at all
Stand up for the ones who can’t stand at all, all
I hate all your show

What do you think?  Is God pleased every time you do “good” things?  Or is there more to it than that?  Can you really displease God while doing the “right” thing?

I’ve read the blogs.  I’ve listened to the arguments.  I had even tried it out…a little.  But I hadn’t fully experienced online community.  I would say that there has been some level of “community” developed for me through Twitter, Facebook, and blogs.  Community, for me, though, is one of those things that was always developed in person.  Sometimes it’s on a biycle, other times it’s with my small group, and other times it’s at a coffee shop with a few guys.  But it’s always been in person.

I unexpectedly experienced community yesterday morning after I read this update from Alan Danielson:

@alandanielson: I’m praying for NOW 10 more minutes. Reply with your prayer request or join me for live prayer via @TokBox

There was a link after the update, and I clicked on it.  There was Alan, sitting in front of his computer screen, praying for his friends.  I shared my request with him, and he prayed for me on the spot.  Ok.  Kind of cool.

Alan then invited me to “hang on the line” (he meant to stay logged into Tokbox), and he was going to invite some of his other friends into the conversation.  As the other 3 men joined, they began to share their experiences from their prayer time.  They, like Alan, had prayed for their friends during that 20 minutes, and invited people to share requests with them.  As they finished sharing their stories from the prayer time, they shared their own requests with the group.  I thought that it would be a bit cheesy, even cold-feeling because we were so far spread out across the country, looking at each other on a tiny screen.  But real, gut-wrenching requests were shared.  Nothing fake.  No masks.  No walls of separation.  Real, honest, vulnerable requests.  And it all happened while I sat in my office chair alone.

Twitter and Tokbox helped me fulfill this today:

Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. -Romans 12:11-13

I felt a real burden, prayed a real prayer, and was really encouraged, after talking with these men.

What do you think of online community?  Is it real?  Or is community only formed while sitting in the same room as the other person?

I’m a small groups pastor, and part of my job is training up new small group leaders.  In addition to philosophical/theological/boring stuff that I talk about in new leader trainings, I give practical advice to help them make their small group a success (I know, I know, some of you would argue that good theology is always practical…don’t get all up in arms about my wording…you know what I mean).  Lots of this I learn because I lead a small group myself, and see group dynamics in action every week.  Part of this I learn through reading books.  Part I learn through reading blogs.  But this time, I want to learn from you.

Have you ever been in a small group?  How about a Sunday School class?  How about a Bible study with at least a few other people?  Still no?  Have you ever been a part of a group of guys from the office, just sitting around and talking?  (If you cannot answer “yes” to any of these questions, please close down your computer and get a real friend…j/k)  If so, you can help me out.

What makes a small group successful? We may all define the “win” differently based on our context and goals, but what is it that helps you to acheive the goals you are setting out to accomplish?  What can/should a small group leader do in order to be the best small group leader God is calling them to be?  Leave a comment and let me know two things that you have learned from being a part of a small group.  Your two answers won’t be comprehensive, but that’s ok.  Here are mine:

1. Make your small group “fun.”  If it’s not fun, people won’t come back.  You may have the most Biblical discussion that has ever happened in the history of the church, but if it’s boring, you’ll lose people the following week.

2. Open a discussion.  Give people a chance to voice objections, concerns, questions, and life experiences (and actually listen to their answers).  They’re a part of the story, too, you know?!?

Those are my two.  What do you think?

I rode bikes a fair amount in college.  I was into mountain biking for a while, but I was going to school in west Tennessee, the flattest part of the state.  Not a ton of mountains out there.  So I traded the mountain bike in for a road bike.  I rode some with my roommate, but also a lot by myself.  I would say, “I love just getting out there and riding, by myself or with someone else.”  I must not have liked it that much, because after college, I pretty much gave up biking

In the last couple of months, I’ve picked it back up.  I ride three times/week.  Twice it’s a shorter sprint, and once/week is a long ride.  I’m loving it!  And I’m sticking with it.  Why?

I experience community when I ride my bike.

You see, I don’t ride alone.  I ride with three  guys from my community group, one of their sons, and my uncle.  Somehow, in riding 30 miles with people, life happens.  Significant conversations happen.  The distractions of normal life are stripped away, and riding through the country opens up the heart.  I’ve built great relationships with these guys, and I look forward to our rides together.

Biking alone is ok, but I get tired more quickly, I don’t have the motivation to keep going, I don’t have the motivation to get up early and push myself, I get bored, and I end up going shorter distances, quitting earlier than I intended.  When I bike with the guys, I am encouraged to get up early, to keep riding, to push myself even harder, and to finish the ride.

That’s what authentic, God-honoring community does.

And we urge you, brothers, admonish the idle, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with them all.  -1 Thessalonians 5:14

Can I be honest with you for a minute?  I’m a bit disappointed.  Though you would think that an increase in blog traffic would leave me excited, in reality it leaves me shaking my head.

Most of the time, my blog posts have substance.  Though a few, such as “A Waste of 3:41,” “Do you ChaCha?,” and “John Piper and Michael Jackson” were of no substantive value, the vast majority of my posts carry some weight.  In one way or another, they are written to effect change in you, the reader.

A change in action.

A change in thought.

A change in attitude.

A change in direction.

A change in leadership.

However, my latest post, “Caption this and win!,” though it gave me the chance to highlight one of our small groups, brag on one of our small group leaders, and have a laugh at her expense (sorry, Katrina!), it did not ask anything of the reader beyond posting a funny comment caption.  So what’s the problem with this?

This post received over 2.5x the number of hits as compared to my normal posts.

I’m not opposed to bloggers giving prizes away to promote traffic to their blog.  Really, I’m not.  But it bugs me that shallow content often receives more attention than weighty.  An “easy” (fluffy content) read seems to be preferred over a “difficult” (challenging content) read.

I’d like to say that I know the answer to this, but I don’t.  I’m just throwing it out there.

Have you found this to be true for you?  In your blog?  In your sermons?  In your teaching?  In your small groups?  In the daily conversations you have at work?  At home?  On vacation?

Maybe we as a culture prefer comfort over conversations of value.

What do you think?